Worst Comedians

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Post by User Name on Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:46 pm

First topic message reminder :

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Post by CFCNick on Thu Nov 24, 2011 2:34 pm

John Bishop

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Post by Josiah Maiestas on Thu Nov 24, 2011 2:36 pm

Al Murray, seems he only gets any laughs due to how he talks than the content.
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Post by AlexHuckerby on Fri Nov 25, 2011 9:21 am

I like Al Murray though his "Beautiful British People" act has gotten a tad old now... Dara O'Brian, the guy just isn't funny, he's ok on Mock The Week every now and then but my god his Stand-up is just awful, saw him on Live At The Apollo and thought my God, is this what comedy is nowadays?!

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Post by AlexHuckerby on Fri Nov 25, 2011 9:25 am

FreekShow wrote:Patrick Kielty.

This man is the worst comedian on planet earth, he is just shocking,he hasn 't said anything remotely funny in his whole life. (Was that a bit OTT?)

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Post by liverbnz on Tue Nov 29, 2011 12:00 am

AlexHuckerby wrote:
FreekShow wrote:Patrick Kielty.

This man is the worst comedian on planet earth, he is just shocking,he hasn 't said anything remotely funny in his whole life. (Was that a bit OTT?)

I like him, he was particularly good with his Northern Ireland politics stuff back when tensions were still quite high here.



Meanwhile Gina Yashere is on @ the Apollo doing her whole ethnicity schtick. #original Rolling Eyes

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Post by Breadvan on Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:52 pm

Jimmy and Alan Carr.
Most female comedians, sorry ladies.
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Post by liverbnz on Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:03 am

Phil Stupidus

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Post by Galted on Wed Apr 20, 2016 8:22 pm

Time this thread was resurrected, this is a list of unfunny people I would like to drown in a bucket of poo scooped out of dead alcholics' bowels:

Jack Whitehall
Russell Howard
Russell Brand
Ed Byrne
Chris Addison
Jack Whitehall
Sarah Millican
Alan Davies
Phil Jupitus
Alan Carr
Jack Whitehall
Reginald D Hunter
Johnny Vegas?

Sue Perkins
Andy Parsons
Jack Whitehall

Romesh Ranganathan


Last edited by Galted on Sat Apr 23, 2016 10:27 pm; edited 4 times in total (Reason for editing : Vegas might be funny after all. He looks funny as well because he is fat. Does rely a lot on loudness.)
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Post by westisbest on Wed Apr 20, 2016 8:34 pm

Lot of dislike for Jack Whitehall there Galted Very Happy

Have to say i cant stand the bloke either.

Is just so unfunny.

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Post by Galted on Wed Apr 20, 2016 8:48 pm

Really winds me up, westi. I can take someone who's not very funny (speaking of which, I forgot that c*nt, Sue Perkins) but Whitehall ruins any show he's on. I'm actually scared of seeing him in public as I'd probably get arrested or hit by a bus crossing the road to clump him.
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Post by Rowley on Wed Apr 20, 2016 8:51 pm

You forgot Andy Parsons Galted. Good to see Howard make the list. Literally can't recall ever hearing him say anything I've ever found amusing.

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Post by Galted on Wed Apr 20, 2016 9:24 pm

Apologies, Jeff, I will make the additions.
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Post by Galted on Wed Apr 20, 2016 9:28 pm

Some cynically-minded people might suggest that the Villa contingent are just lacking in humour at the moment. I say we stab these people in the face.
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Post by Rowley on Wed Apr 20, 2016 9:29 pm

It's a fine list Galted. Find myself only disagreeing with Vegas who can be quite sharp. Of the rest they are all god awful.

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Post by Galted on Wed Apr 20, 2016 9:36 pm

Vegas was the one who I was quite hesitant to add. I do find him occasionally funny but often he just gets on my t1ts. I will put a question mark beside his name to acknowledge this.
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Post by SecretFly on Wed Apr 20, 2016 9:37 pm

Basically - and honestly - all of them.  The vast majority of them anyway.

I find most professional comedians to be a tribe of excruciatingly unfunny people - but they've developed this 'cult' around them (especially the Stand Ups) whereby 'fans' are afraid to admit most of these guys are useless for fear of being ridiculed by their peers.

I prefer normal people - be they singers, writers or actors - with a natural sense of humour that comes out in interviews.  The comedy circuit itself needs a far better quality control unit to drop the duds back to the McDonald's cashiers quick. Edinburgh Fringe needs to stop pretending everything that turns up on their stages is the future of 'edgy' hilariousness and admit that mostly the word 'edgy' means 'unfunny'.

There simply isn't that many true comedians about - clear the airwaves of the wanabee dross and let those genuine few at it.

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Post by Rowley on Wed Apr 20, 2016 9:57 pm

Observational comedy generally gets on my wick. As someone once said "Has anyone ever noticed anything, ever"

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Post by Fernando on Wed Apr 20, 2016 10:18 pm

Go watch Chris D'Elia You'd hang yourself in 60 seconds Rowley. 

That being said Undateable is a great show Laugh

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Post by Galted on Sat Apr 23, 2016 10:26 pm

Romesh Ranganathan is another. Just ticks a box on the pc list, f*ck all in the hilarity stakes though.
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Post by Dolphin Ziggler on Sun Apr 24, 2016 10:12 am

I hate the alternative gang. Stewart Lee being my main target of ire. 

Pretty much all comedy is observational comedy. It's such a lazy stick to beat comedians with. The over-saturation of comics on TV panels and the like is what is ruining things. Desperate to get their jokes in due to the goldmine that television is, competing with the egos of others in the same position and the established group who do not have the charitable bones to let the others strive.

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Post by Guest on Mon Apr 25, 2016 9:24 am

Yet Stewart Lee doesn't do panel shows as in one of his shows he lambasts his own act for not being suited to the panel show format. I think he's very good. Jimmy Carr is also great live. Seen Sean Lock twice. Tim Vine is good clean if extra cheesy fun.
Worst comedians
Both Brands
Rusells Kane and Howard
Jason Manford
But a special place in Hell is reserved for Jon Richardson... I f*cking hate him

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Post by SecretFly on Mon Apr 25, 2016 12:00 pm

I guess the real question is 'What IS comedy?'  Comedy is a strange bird.  Most people would generally agree on what Drama or Melodrama is.  But I think most of us have violently different ideas about what truly comedy is.

Is it slapstick?
Is it Social Commentary with acerbic teeth?
Is it disguised Political treatising?
Is it simply the features/the look of the comedian rather than really anything he or she actually says?
Is it a combination of mannerisms and trademark twitches, gazes, walks etc, etc.

Most will say that it's a combination of all those things at one time or another.  But still it's the eternal bugbear for comedians that when they do their thing on stage or in front of a camera some people roll over and almost die laughing, whilst others can't even work up a pretend faint smile.

It seems drama is universal but comedy can be oh-so-parochial and cultural.

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Post by TopHat24/7 on Mon Apr 25, 2016 1:25 pm

Pretty much any and every female comedian......

Last time I was at the Fringe we did the 'Best of the Fest' show which is usually really good but got lumbered with 3 female comedians out of 5 and they were all rubbish. 1 of the others was "boy with Tape on his Face"......


Was quite sad to find out the, contrary to how he seems on tv etc, Mickey Flanagan is a really not very nice bloke at all.....

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Post by Guest on Fri Apr 29, 2016 2:18 pm

TopHat24/7 wrote:Mickey Flanagan is a really not very nice bloke at all.....
Do tell... I've seen him twice. His first tour, the "out out" tour was brilliant, the "back in the game" tour was badly disjointed, didn't flow and he seemed to suffer from nerves.

Things I hate about going to comedy shows.

1/ C*nts who heckle to "be part of the act" so the can tell their mates there were in the show.
2/ C*nts who deliberately turn up late to get picked on so they can be part of the act.

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Post by SecretFly on Fri Apr 29, 2016 2:33 pm

Is there a case for saying.................. bear with me now...............

3/C*nts that are paid to heckle by the comedian's being 'heckled' so that their ad-libbed (written well in advance) retorts might get into circulation and up the ticket sales?



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Post by superflyweight on Fri Apr 29, 2016 2:37 pm

Can't really quibble with many of the names mentioned apart from Johnny Vegas and maybe Tim Vine (if only for the fact that he knows what he is and it can be quite funny if you're in the right frame of mind - although Stuart Francis is much better at it).

Suppose the harder thing to do is name good stand up comedians:

Billy Connolly (up to the mid 90's)
Bill Hicks
Richard Pryor
Jason Byrne (a lot depends on the audience because most of it is audience interaction but I've seen him late on a Friday night with a p1ssed up crowd in Edinburgh and it was genius)
Phil Kay (same comments re audience)

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Post by Guest on Fri Apr 29, 2016 2:49 pm

SecretFly wrote:Is there a case for saying.................. bear with me now...............

3/C*nts that are paid to heckle by the comedian's being 'heckled' so that their ad-libbed (written well in advance) retorts might get into circulation and up the ticket sales?

For me, the comedian/manager paying people to heckle is a bigger c*nt than the person doing the heckling. As a young lad I recall hearing Jimmy Tarbuck (another incredibly unfunny c*nt) doing a routine about dealing with hecklers and, hey presto, someone shouted something out and dear old Tarby was seen to deal with it with aplomb. It was so poorly scripted and obvious it made me cross even as a youngster.

Also remember watching Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson on one of their Bottom tours (I think it was number three) and there was a scene where something appeared to go wrong which was very funny. I later got hold of the live dvd and was disappointed to see the same "c*ck-up" (obviously me being naïve) but what disappointed me more was the way it seemed "forced" whereas what I'd seen live appeared to work better. The idea that a gag needed to be shoehorned in at any cost spoiled my enjoyment of the show.

4/ C*nts who shout out catchphrases thinking that everyone will find it hilarious
5/ C*nts who've just been to a comedy show later sat in the pub telling the same jokes they've just heard but making out like they've just made them up on the spot
6/ C*nts who've been to a comedy show who try telling their own jokes either in the queue to get in, the queue in the bar, the queue to get out as if people are going to stop and say "F*ck it, let's not pay to listen to the professional, let's give our money to this guy instead!"

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Post by Guest on Fri Apr 29, 2016 3:02 pm

superflyweight wrote:Can't really quibble with many of the names mentioned apart from Johnny Vegas and maybe Tim Vine (if only for the fact that he knows what he is and it can be quite funny if you're in the right frame of mind - although Stuart Francis is much better at it).

Suppose the harder thing to do is name good stand up comedians:

Billy Connolly (up to the mid 90's)
Bill Hicks
Richard Pryor
Jason Byrne (a lot depends on the audience because most of it is audience interaction but I've seen him late on a Friday night with a p1ssed up crowd in Edinburgh and it was genius)
Phil Kay (same comments re audience)
For me Tim Vine works as there's an element of childishness about the material he does that can be repeated in any setting without causing offence. Saw Stuart Francis and was disappointed with him. I know some people don't like Andy Parsons but I saw him a while back and he was great...better than expected.

Is Phil Kay the bearded Scottish fella? (I know Billy Connolly is also bearded and Scottish but you f*cking well know what I mean)

I used to like Ross Noble but then after a while it got to so's the f*cking students were turning up and heckling/turning up late to try and be one of the people he interacted with and got the audience to cheer for at the end of the show. His early stuff was great but I've gone off him.

True story, I actually saw Peter Kay at Leeds Uni when he was the opening act for then Radio 1 DJs Mark and Lard when they were touring as "The Shirehorses" He was sh!t, the second half of his act was just him getting people to sing along to old tv shows...w*nker!

Everything he does now irritates me, he's desperate to be a singer and the stuff he does on tv is self indulgent tripe. He did something called "Car Share" and every five minutes he's singing to songs on the radio....oh, f*ck off and sing to yourself in the bathroom mirror whilst trying to suck yourself off you c*nt

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Post by superflyweight on Fri Apr 29, 2016 3:12 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Can't really quibble with many of the names mentioned apart from Johnny Vegas and maybe Tim Vine (if only for the fact that he knows what he is and it can be quite funny if you're in the right frame of mind - although Stuart Francis is much better at it).

Suppose the harder thing to do is name good stand up comedians:

Billy Connolly (up to the mid 90's)
Bill Hicks
Richard Pryor
Jason Byrne (a lot depends on the audience because most of it is audience interaction but I've seen him late on a Friday night with a p1ssed up crowd in Edinburgh and it was genius)
Phil Kay (same comments re audience)
For me Tim Vine works as there's an element of childishness about the material he does that can be repeated in any setting without causing offence. Saw Stuart Francis and was disappointed with him. I know some people don't like Andy Parsons but I saw him a while back and he was great...better than expected.

Is Phil Kay the bearded Scottish fella? (I know Billy Connolly is also bearded and Scottish but you f*cking well know what I mean)

I used to like Ross Noble but then after a while it got to so's the f*cking students were turning up and heckling/turning up late to try and be one of the people he interacted with and got the audience to cheer for at the end of the show. His early stuff was great but I've gone off him.

True story, I actually saw Peter Kay at Leeds Uni when he was the opening act for then Radio 1 DJs Mark and Lard when they were touring as "The Shirehorses" He was sh!t, the second half of his act was just him getting people to sing along to old tv shows...w*nker!

Everything he does now irritates me, he's desperate to be a singer and the stuff he does on tv is self indulgent tripe. He did something called "Car Share" and every five minutes he's singing to songs on the radio....oh, f*ck off and sing to yourself in the bathroom mirror whilst trying to suck yourself off you c*nt

Phil Kay is Scottish and bearded - seen him 3 or 4 times and they have been hit and miss depending on the audience - when he is good he is very good.

It saddens me to see what Peter Kay has become - first series of Phoenix Nights and at least 3 out of the 6 episodes of That Pater Kay Thing are brilliant. I suspect that Dave Spikey and particularly Neil Fitzmaurice reigned him in during the writing process for both of those shows - now that he writes without them he's bloody awful.

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Post by Guest on Fri Apr 29, 2016 4:19 pm

superflyweight wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Can't really quibble with many of the names mentioned apart from Johnny Vegas and maybe Tim Vine (if only for the fact that he knows what he is and it can be quite funny if you're in the right frame of mind - although Stuart Francis is much better at it).

Suppose the harder thing to do is name good stand up comedians:

Billy Connolly (up to the mid 90's)
Bill Hicks
Richard Pryor
Jason Byrne (a lot depends on the audience because most of it is audience interaction but I've seen him late on a Friday night with a p1ssed up crowd in Edinburgh and it was genius)
Phil Kay (same comments re audience)
For me Tim Vine works as there's an element of childishness about the material he does that can be repeated in any setting without causing offence. Saw Stuart Francis and was disappointed with him. I know some people don't like Andy Parsons but I saw him a while back and he was great...better than expected.

Is Phil Kay the bearded Scottish fella? (I know Billy Connolly is also bearded and Scottish but you f*cking well know what I mean)

I used to like Ross Noble but then after a while it got to so's the f*cking students were turning up and heckling/turning up late to try and be one of the people he interacted with and got the audience to cheer for at the end of the show. His early stuff was great but I've gone off him.

True story, I actually saw Peter Kay at Leeds Uni when he was the opening act for then Radio 1 DJs Mark and Lard when they were touring as "The Shirehorses" He was sh!t, the second half of his act was just him getting people to sing along to old tv shows...w*nker!

Everything he does now irritates me, he's desperate to be a singer and the stuff he does on tv is self indulgent tripe. He did something called "Car Share" and every five minutes he's singing to songs on the radio....oh, f*ck off and sing to yourself in the bathroom mirror whilst trying to suck yourself off you c*nt

Phil Kay is Scottish and bearded - seen him 3 or 4 times and they have been hit and miss depending on the audience - when he is good he is very good.  

It saddens me to see what Peter Kay has become - first series of Phoenix Nights and at least 3 out of the 6 episodes of That Pater Kay Thing are brilliant.  I suspect that Dave Spikey and particularly Neil Fitzmaurice reigned him in during the writing process for both of those shows - now that he writes without them he's bloody awful.  
An ex-bobby I know was on the Sports and Social Committee and they managed to get Kay to come to a Police Xmas do. Apparently he just did his usual "garlic bread" routine, took his money and f*cked off...the following year they got Billy Pearce to come over and he was as nice a could possibly be.

Rumours abound that someone bought Peter Kay a SatNav as he'd clearly forgotten where he'd come from. Reminds me of John Bishop the man of the people who recently bought a £2million house...man of the people my f*cking hole, he is!

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Post by SecretFly on Fri Apr 29, 2016 6:05 pm

John Bishop is a man of the fitted-suit-in-a-mansion people. But they're people too I suppose. If I was earning what he earns I'd be one of them. A suit is nicer than furry grey tracksuit bottoms Wink

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Post by Rowley on Fri Apr 29, 2016 6:18 pm

superflyweight wrote:Can't really quibble with many of the names mentioned apart from Johnny Vegas and maybe Tim Vine (if only for the fact that he knows what he is and it can be quite funny if you're in the right frame of mind - although Stuart Francis is much better at it).

Suppose the harder thing to do is name good stand up comedians:

Billy Connolly (up to the mid 90's)
Bill Hicks
Richard Pryor
Jason Byrne (a lot depends on the audience because most of it is audience interaction but I've seen him late on a Friday night with a p1ssed up crowd in Edinburgh and it was genius)
Phil Kay (same comments re audience)

One of the best I have ever seen is Daniel Kitson. He does not really do huge amounts of stand up shows now, tends to do monologues and one man theatre shows, but the one I saw him in was absolutely brilliant, funny, moving and pretty much unlike anything you'd see anywhere else. When he does do standup though, he is stunningly good.

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Post by Guest on Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:37 pm

Chris Addison by a long chalk.

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Post by Guest on Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:45 pm

I thought that I liked Kevin Bridges, so I saw a dvd recently, it was half an hour in before I decided that the laugh was never going to come. It was simply "posho -baiting".

I have been reading Frankie Boyles' "Scottish Jesus" book and there was a lot of baiting of Stewart Lee, in response to Lee's baiting of him, I'm sure! But it's pretty funny that they bait each other via books and not tv.Personally, I think Boyle is the best Britain has produced in ages.

Steve Coogan's "The Man Who Thinks He's It" tour in 97 was the funniest live show I have ever seen although I was ripped to the tits.
I saw Daniel Kitson five years ago, in a fairly small venue ,a showwhich was not promoted at all, and he talked about how people often complimented his beard. It annoyed him so much that he shaved it off. This is a good summation of what kind of person he is. Thank good ness he does not live in Brighton because the beard ratio is out of the park! He also dis-suaded fans to try and contact him ,saying that he is never going to reply and that he doesn't use the internet. I think that he is a prophet!

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