Depression - Misunderstood Killer

With the sad news of Gary Speed's passing, I am motivated to write this thread. There will always be a small group calling for more to be done for professional sports men and women. I cannot help but state that all is not so simple. Things like blood tests, urine tests or regular health check up's cannot tell our doctors whether an illness such as depression has become worse within an individual. In the field of sports it must be more difficult given substances they have to avoid and also given the public attention that may follow them, makes it the more complicated for any sports person in the media and public eye to manage their illness. 2 high profile cases for me include Robert Enke and Frank Bruno. Robert Enke took his own life on 10th November 2009 when he walked onto the railway tracks on Eilvese. Robert's life is quite tragic. Diagnosed with Major Depression in 2003, his daughter Lara was born in 2004 with a heart birth defect. In 2006 she sadly passed away. Robert and his wife Teresa then adopted Leila in May 2009. Teresa revealed in his book that she and Robert struggled to cope with the loss of Lara and that Robert was scared to reveal his illness to his team-mates and even the social workers who they worked with in the adoption of Leila in the fear that it would prevent them from adopting. Robert felt 'ashamed' of his illness and coupled with his personal problems became too much for him to take. Since his death however The Robert Enke Foundation has been founded to help professional players who suffer with mental illness's. I do hope that they can stretch that beyond football and to all sports. Frank Bruno the much loved former British WBC Heavyweight Champion is another athlete who suffers 'Major Depression' Frank was loved by the public in the same light as Sir Henry Cooper. He was charming and almost seen as the 'gentleman' of boxing. 'Alright Arry' became an instant catchphrase ever associated with Frank after his interviews with Harry Carpenter the BBC boxing commentator. Outside of the ring and post boxing Frank struggled to cope with life away from the limelight. His marriage to Laura deteriorated and he begun recreational drug use in 2000 with 'potentially' lead to him suffering with depression which lead to him being being taken away from his house on 22nd September 2003 under the Mental Health Act 1983. He was later diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Since then Frank has managed to regain his life again and has become a father since his diagnosis and has appeared in many pantomines. Frank is lucky to still have his life and be given a lease of life that Robert unfortunately couldn't find.

Depression is a major silent killer and still to this day a misunderstood illness. Me myself, I am a manic depressive suffering the early signs of Schizophrenia. For a guy like me who was always dismissive of mental illness's and the effect they had on people. More so the 'self-control' that could easily help with such illness's and conditions alike. I have been on medication ever since my diagnosis and will be for the rest of my life and also require regular meetings with doctors and nurses throughout my life. I view myself as lucky. I am lucky to have my job, my house and my family. For me I think it is so easy for doctors to 'diagnose' the condition and also diagnose the contributors to the illness. I think it is an illness that is genetic and that requires a more chemical understanding. My mum suffered with depression and I have since suffered with a more severe form of the illness. I have had times when I have stopped taking my medication and I notice right away the physical and mental withdrawal effects it has and the stability that medication brings to help me balance my life. Doctors and sufferers need to grasp that there is no 'cure' for this illness. It requires management and acceptance for both doctor and sufferer to enable a move forwards.

I think it is difficult to find a solution for both doctors and sufferers to help create awareness and establish a network for sufferers in the world of sport to come forward and not suffer like Gary Speed, Robert Enke, Frank Bruno, Marcus Trescothick, Michael Yardy, Paul Gascoigne have done publically.

Legend - I really think there's a serious problem in our society with depression. Many seem so unhappy and dissatisfied and use other things to self medicate - alcohol, drugs (illegal and legal), consumerism (shopping) and some even use food to ease their emotional discomfort. More and more we hear about the victims of depression getting younger too. For athletes taking drugs, eating disorders and drinking too much aren't an option because that has an adverse effect on their fitness, and thus their career. I think many athletes feel that they have to be responsible for themselves alone - they are trained to be the best and become highly self motivated and have a lot of self belief. They're also human too and can be affected by the negative emotions we all have. That can make it difficult for them to admit how they truly feel until it's too late.

I myself suffered from depression from a very early age. I actually think it was somewhat inate having found out some things about my family history and given my upbringing which I won't go into on here. Despite my own walk to the dark side shall we say, I wasn't officially diagnosed until I was an adult. Depression in children just wasn't taken seriously then - I'm not sure if it is now. Thankfully I think I've come through the worst of it, although as an adult I take each day as it comes, and have been "well" for about two years now. I still get days when I'm unhappy or anxious about something, but I have the coping mechanisms to deal with things differently these days. Speaking from my experience it's important to recognise such problems in children so things can be nipped in the bud from an early age. It's easier to recondition a child's way of thinking than that of an adult. For adults who are diagnosed, I think a combination of drug therapy and other therapies that work. However, it's usually up to the individual to say they want help first, and it's so important that people feel they can speak out freely about whatever it is that is bothering them without feeling ashamed or stigmatised for doing so.

Depression is an incredibly serious issue and I don't think that's recognised enough at all. It's such a difficult thing for those who've never had it to understand that it is often dismissed as being something that's not too much of a problem. Or at least that's what I've always found in my experience.

I myself have suffered with mild depression (and I feel very lucky that it's only ever been mild) on and off for the last 8 years, although only formally diagnosed with it twice, the last bout of it being last year. I am lucky in that I have a fantastic support base around me in my family that really help to support me. I also learnt many different coping mechanisms from the age of 16 so I have those to fall back on and help me should I need them.

I still get down days, sometimes down weeks, but I am able now for the most part to stop myself from going too far down the route of depression.

Cari is very right in what she says in that it's very important to be able to speak about what's troubling you without being made to feel ashamed. There is so much help out there, although I can fully appreciate taking that first step to get help can be very difficult.

Depression seems to be one of the last taboos, for reasons that I haven't yet fathomed. There is so much that is now deemed to be fine to talk about, things my grandmother would never, ever have discussed, yet mental illness is still completely off the agenda.

Sadly there is still a stigma attached and, unless we find a way to remove that stigma, there will always be people for whom asking for support is unthinkable. A fear of not being understood plays a significant role in that misgiving.

I consider myself lucky, I have had only one period of depression, and that was due to bereavement following the death of my father. The speed and depth of my plummet was in itself frightening; the happy, outgoing, confident person I was became a barely functioning shell in no time.

We need to learn and understand that not all illnesses have an obvious physical presentation or cause, and that illness takes many forms.

It's interesting that no other male posters have commented on this. I'd be really interested to read a male view.

I think it is a case of posters wishing to remain private with their experiences Cari

Cari wrote:It's interesting that no other male posters have commented on this. I'd be really interested to read a male view.

I think rather than taking this article in its more general sense, most people are associating it with the death of Gary Speed and awaiting more facts about the situation before commenting on it.

In the case of Speed I don't think any official communication has mentioned depression yet - there could be many reasons behind his death and it wouldn't be prudent to comment on it until the facts are known (if they ever are)

I know that Stan Collymore went back into depression over the weekend and before the death of Gary Speed. It's a major problem in our society and one which people should be a lot more open with. Life is hectic and stressful yet and there's often too much for people to take in whether it be debts, taxes, work, relationships, friendships, economies, personal vanities, growing 'old', discomfort at the thought of death. Depression can come from many areas and once one gets into a rut it's very difficult to get out of it. Help is there but charities need to make others more aware of where to find it, because they do superb jobs.

legendkillar wrote:I think it is a case of posters wishing to remain private with their experiences Cari

That's fair enough Legend. I appreciate the choice of privacy. I was just asking for a general view really, not necessarily personal experience.

Re: Gary Speed. Something positive comes from all:
http://www.walesonline.co.uk/footballnation/football-news/2011/11/29/five-football-players-seek-help-following-gary-speed-death-91466-29864426/

Anyway, can we move away from Gary's death? That wasn't what the original post was about.

Was Gary Speed actually depressed?

For all we know he was having a affair or was gay and felt that guilty he took his life. He couldn't bare anyone finding out.

I'm a gambling addict and I'm depressed majority of the time and I've hit rock bottom on more than one occasion.

If speed had depression he did well to hide it playing happy families,holding,holidays,pr events,football shows,managing his home country. The list is endless.

Not one sign of depression. I ask why he did it?

To be fair Hitman, this isn't a thread specifically about Gary Speed, more just about the illness of depression itself, which is what the thread is mainly about. We may never know why he did it.

I think depression comes in many forms. Sometimes it seems that some people can hide it, other's are not so good at it. It is such a poorly researched illness, and it appears to affect individuals in completely different ways which is why it can be so hard to treat. You have to cater the treatment specifically to the individual. It's an illness I feel that needs a lot more research and time dedicated to it imo for us to make strides in understanding it, and finding better treatments for it.

Hitman - some people are exceptionally brilliant at hiding anxieties, stress and depression. A friend of mine committed suicide when she was 21, and the first thing everyone said is that she was the last person they'd expect to do such a thing. She was always happy and outgoing to others, and seemed very level headed. Everything appeared to be going well for her - her training to be a midwife, her relationship with her boyfriend, her family etc. and yet something made her take her own life and to this day no one really knows why. Just because other people don't see the signs (whatever they are) doesn't mean to say people don't feel anxious, depressed and so on. Also, some people aren't even aware that they're suffering from depression/anxiety/stress themselves until they have a nervous breakdown which may be too late.

Fair enough,point taken.

Ill tell you that I grew up watching speed,he was a guy who I respected and enjoyed watching through the years. At all of his clubs.

I really emotional when I got the news,why why why? I can't believe it was depression.

The fact he didn't leave an explanation has got me confused. He left a family behind and note even a note?

I shouldn't be saying this but its selfish.

I still can't believe it.

Why can't you believe it could be depression?

Depression is a debilitating illness. Read Marcus Trescothick's book or Robert Enke's book. Both detail the struggles they have had with it and the triggers that set the illness in motion.

It is sad and I think it had hit hard to everyone that even the seemingly a guy who seemed 'settled' in his life would take his own life.

The media and their families was fully aware of there depression. How are we meant to compare and know if speed had it?

His family deserved better. It reminds me of benoit a little bit.

Hitman - re: being selfish and not leaving a note or anything, all I can say is at that point of no return, no one is thinking rationally about themselves never mind anything or anyone else. It's not just depression that makes people suicidal - that's a common myth. Stress, anxiety, other serious mental disorders can lead people to harm themselves. I think when it comes to Gary, we just don't know, and it's not our place to judge him.

Hello.

I have created an account specifically to reply to this article. I have been reading the forums for a while now when I happened across this one and had to reply to add my strory, as some things people have said are similar, hopefully I will help some people to understand a little more. Depression is a silent killer and is not understood by many.

I have been suffering for around 9 years now (officially, though I think it first started at school but I had never heard of depression then). No-one knows. I feel ashamed of it. I would be mortified if anyone found out. I'm married with 2 kis, I have everything I dreamed of when I was young. Yet I have never felt so alone. WHy?

Most people that know me, know me as a happy, quiet person. It's a mask I wear well, to hide my nerves mainly. There were a series of events that have spiralled me into it. I won't go into them in too much detail as I don't want to bore you. I believe the main one was a job change. I was kind of side shifted to do a new job, put into an office, on my own, I didn't see of speak to anyone all day. After a while I found I had to build my confidence up just to leave the office to speak to someone, or make a call. SOmething terrible happened that I won't go into but it invloved someone losing their life after an accident. I convinced myself it was my fault. Of course, it wasn't but I believed it. So I made up an illness and stayed at home. The GP believed my fake illness a prescribed strong painkillers, addictive ones, I found when I took them it was an escape and a relief....you can probably guess the rest. I rarely left the house in that time, I lost all my friends. My marriage fell apart and still is.

Eventually, after my daughter asked me why I never take her to school, I made the decision to go back to work, I ditched the painkillers. It took me a number of attempts to actually make it to work. But one day I got there. I still do the same job, I don't have the confidence to find a new one. I spend most of my time on the internet doing nothing work related (that's when I found this forum actually). If some work is requried I do it at the very last minute so no-one suspects. I will get found out one day I know.

I have been winning the battle ever since, but I still have dark days and bad periods as I am now for about the last 2 months, still nobody knows. People at work don't know and I hear them talk about others who admit being depressed, and hear them say "pull yourself together" and "man up". If only they knew how hard it is.

I know it hasn't been confirmed, but if Gary Speed was depressed I have the utmost sympathy with what he went through, on his own by the sounds of it.

Thanks for listening, it actually felt good to 'talk'.

Oh honey there's a hundred things I could say in response but actually a feels most appropriate.

Please try and find an outlet. If it felt good to 'talk' on here then perhaps talking to someone who's a stranger to you might help? Someone who has no vested interest and won't judge you.

There is no shame in needing help, every one of us needs it, but it can take guts to ask for it. You've posted your experiences on here so that's a good first step. Please try and find the strength to take the next step. You've obviously been through the mill and that has taken it's toll. Maybe now is the time to give yourself the care you need, then you can care for others the way you really want to.

I truly wish you all the very best.

Another of my friends killed themselves on Sunday, that's now 3 this year, yet only one was suffering from depression, the other 2 just let circumstances get on top of them.
They were all males in their thirties, who'd recently lost their jobs and split up with girlfriends/wives, I don't know just how relevant these things are to why they killed themselves, but I do know that none of them ever talked to any of their friends about how they were feeling, prefering to keep their emotions to themselves.
It's now got to the stage where myself and a couple of other mates are getting paranoid, I've managed mild depression since childhood, but I haven't slept or even left the house since hearing about my friend Darren on Sunday morning.

Before anyone gets too upset by what I've typed, I'm not suicidal, I just can't for the life of me fathom out what the hell is going on with people I've cared about for many years.

ReallyReal wrote:Another of my friends killed themselves on Sunday, that's now 3 this year, yet only one was suffering from depression, the other 2 just let circumstances get on top of them.

What's the difference? In one case, it's been diagnosed, in the others it wasn't.

At the end of the day, it's inner forces/daemons that push you to do something, an healthy individual would not do.

I agree with some that depression seems to be a wider phenomenon than we think and probably very much linked to our way our life. We get hit by it when the divertissement side of life cannot withold anylonger some more deeper problems we need to face.

So some may see depression as an illness, I see it as a way to know ourselves better. And that's certainly no easy job and can lead to many trouble, including suicide.

Tenez wrote:What's the difference? In one case, it's been diagnosed, in the others it wasn't.

At the end of the day, it's inner forces/daemons that push you to do something, an healthy individual would not do.

No, someone who kills themselves because they find they girlfriend had been cheating wasn't suffering depression.

HitmanOwl wrote:The media and their families was fully aware of there depression. How are we meant to compare and know if speed had it?

His family deserved better. It reminds me of benoit a little bit.

I can't see how you can make the comparison with Chris Benoit. That man committed an awful and unspeakable crime before his death and had also over the years had been involved with the use of steroids and other prescribed medication. I felt sorry for Benoit as he was let down by the prescribing doctors or pharmacists who allowed athletes such access to medication. Gary Speed however to my knowledge never failed a drugs test throughout his playing career.

Yes it is a tragic turn of events that someone so young and well respected by people around him felt that he had to take his own life. I must stress however that this by no means a 'cowardly' act which seems to be the word most associated with suicides, sometimes people find it difficult to live within their own skin. That is something that unless people have experience themselves or witnessed others experiencing the same thing can only comment.

Scottrf wrote:

Tenez wrote:What's the difference? In one case, it's been diagnosed, in the others it wasn't.

At the end of the day, it's inner forces/daemons that push you to do something, an healthy individual would not do.

No, someone who kills themselves because they find they girlfriend had been cheating wasn't suffering depression.

That might be the obvious cause hidding the bigger problems underneath. A healthy person doesn't kill itself because his/her partner cheats.

That's not only a case of the person not knowing himself....but also not knowing his partner.

Tenez wrote:

Scottrf wrote:

Tenez wrote:What's the difference? In one case, it's been diagnosed, in the others it wasn't.

At the end of the day, it's inner forces/daemons that push you to do something, an healthy individual would not do.

No, someone who kills themselves because they find they girlfriend had been cheating wasn't suffering depression.

That might be the obvious cause hidding the bigger problems underneath. A healthy person doesn't kill itself because his/her partner cheats.

That's not only a case of the person not knowing himself....but also not knowing his partner.

Depends what you mean by healthy, some people are stronger than others. People turn to drugs and/or make bad choices.

You're trying to pigeon hole every case into a specific condition. Watch Louis Theroux's Medicated Families. It's the same thing, a child can't be a troublemaker without being diagnosed with ADHD or some other such illness.

Scottrf wrote:[You're trying to pigeon hole every case into a specific condition.

I though I did just the opposite. Putting everything down to a lack of knowledge....here not knowing ourselves.

The two friends I mentioned were clearly depressed at the time of their suicides, but they weren't suffering from depression, they'd simply had bad weeks and they allowed the circumstances to get the better of them.

Most people I've known have done something completely out of character because of certain circumstances, they are just oneoffs and as far as I'm aware they can't be explained, I'm sure a psychiatrist would be able to come up with a term to describe these situations, maybe even explain why they happen, but my friends weren't people who'd ever previously suffered from depression.
It's exactly the same sort of thing that occasionally happens when some people snap and kill their spouses, they can't explain why they did it it was just some sort of compulsion, maybe in the years ahead someone will find why these things happen, but even in court people often argue diminished responsibility.

ReallyReal wrote:The two friends I mentioned were clearly depressed at the time of their suicides, but they weren't suffering from depression, they'd simply had bad weeks and they allowed the circumstances to get the better of them.

Most people I've known have done something completely out of character because of certain circumstances, they are just oneoffs and as far as I'm aware they can't be explained, I'm sure a psychiatrist would be able to come up with a term to describe these situations, maybe even explain why they happen, but my friends weren't people who'd ever previously suffered from depression.
It's exactly the same sort of thing that occasionally happens when some people snap and kill their spouses, they can't explain why they did it it was just some sort of compulsion, maybe in the years ahead someone will find why these things happen, but even in court people often argue diminished responsibility.

That's exactly what I am saying. The fact is the unconscious is taking over the conscious to do things we would not normally do...hence the need to know oursleves.

Easy said though.

To the kind member who sent me a message, thank you. I have tried to reply but it won't let me so I just wanted to thank you.

Nice to see that you are calling your thread simply that, 'a thread'. Pains me to see posters on other sections calling their posts 'articles'.