The Scenes We'd Like To See Thread

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Fri 18 Mar 2011, 3:09 pm

First topic message reminder :

This is a thread based on Mock the Week's (in)famous final round.

First up:


Unlikely Lines for a Superhero To Say

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Mon 21 Mar 2011, 4:14 pm

Right time for a new topic.

Unlikely Things To Hear From A Newsreader

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Post by David Tails on Mon 21 Mar 2011, 4:20 pm

"Go Eff yourself San Diego" laughing

"Our top story tonight...Kerry Katona has been voted Mother of The year again"

"Charlie Sheen has been rushed to hsopital after he was mauled by a pack of dogs that he thought he saw during his oscar acceptance speech"

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Post by David Tails on Mon 21 Mar 2011, 4:26 pm

"An Aberdeen man has been arrested for Cheese grating his colleagues face before stapling her to her desk..."

Oh wait...it's supposed to be UNlikely...

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Post by Dexter Morgan on Mon 21 Mar 2011, 7:39 pm

Good news.

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Post by David Tails on Mon 21 Mar 2011, 7:45 pm

Dexter Morgan wrote:Good news.

Are you talking about the PM I sent you through FB earlier buddy? laughing

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Post by Adam D on Mon 21 Mar 2011, 8:00 pm

this always makes me laugh about newsreaders!

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_kIWY2DV0KnE/SxCsAUwHv4I/AAAAAAAAE8Q/Wo8lKLs7q1s/Newsreader%20with%20Identikit.JPG

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Post by minova88 on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 8:15 am

and today. . . Absolutly nothing to report and im going home

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Post by Dexter Morgan on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 8:52 am

David Tails wrote:
Dexter Morgan wrote:Good news.

Are you talking about the PM I sent you through FB earlier buddy? laughing

exactly DT, yesterday was a good news day laughing

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Post by David Tails on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 8:59 am

"We interupt this broadcast to bring you breaking news. Dex has been arrested for breaking the terms of a restraining order. A former TMO contestant, who wishes to remain nameless, is said to be a wreck after his recent attentions"

Really the only part of the above which is unlikely is the part about her wanting to remain anonymous! laughing

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Post by Guest on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 8:59 am

"Warning, this news programme contains flashing lights and scens of graphic, sexual nudity"

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Post by Adam D on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 9:12 am

King Beer wrote:"Warning, this news programme contains flashing lights and scens of graphic, sexual nudity"

have you not seen Naked News?

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Post by David Tails on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 9:28 am

"...and now over to Sport. Andy Carroll scores for Liverpool..."

laughing

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Post by Guest on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 9:37 am

Any now breaking sports news, Manny v Floyd is happening!

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Post by Dexter Morgan on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 9:42 am

In wrestling news, John Cena and Rey Mysterio have lost in singles action tonight through no outside interference

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 9:44 am

"And now we're going to see exclusive footage of David Cameron's apparent mental breakdown in the House of Commons today. Andrew Marr our political correspondent is here. Andrew at what point do you think Cameron went off the rails?"

"Well Kate, for me it was probably when he poured his glass of water all over himself, sat on Nick Clegg's face and then announced 'We're not the Conservative party anymore, we're now called Drunt Dirunt Maah Reee!"

"Thanks Andrew"

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Post by Guest on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 9:46 am

Dexter Morgan wrote:In wrestling news, John Cena and Rey Mysterio have lost in singles action tonight through no outside interference

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

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Post by Guest on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 10:05 am

And we are just receiving reports that Eastenders is in fact being scrapped in order to reduce the TV Licence cost.

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 10:24 am

"You're watching BBC News 24. It's no different now than it was an hour ago. Go watch Top Gear on Dave or something"

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Post by David Tails on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 10:27 am

"Welcome to Channel 5 news. Look at how much cooler than the other newsreaders we are...we sit ON our desks...up front with you normal people."

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Post by Guest on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 10:28 am

"Welcome to the ITV news at 10, our top story, people rejoice as the government announces a 50% drop in Petrol, Alcohol and Tobacco costs"

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 10:31 am

"You're watching Fox News. Coming up:

Nazi baby discovered in North Korea, US deploys aircraft for bombing raid.

Obama discovered to have links with Communist Russia!

and: Al Qaeda is in your water!"

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Post by Guest on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 10:57 am

"We are now receiving reports of riot in the Nags Head pub that's been ongoing all day and can cross live to our reporter there."

"Claire, what can you tell us?"

"Well Steve, what started off as a nice friendly drink between friends turned nasty when a local idiot turned up called Wayne and started on the regulars."
"What can only be described as a war zone erupted with chairs and tables flying all over."

"The police arrived and took the instigator away and Im now joined by a couple of the regulars here to tell their story."

"So DT, what can you tell us?"

"Och eye, he's a reet idiot. He just came out of nowhere. He's not liked by any of us but tries to fit in and causes trouble."

"Thanks DT, I managed to have a word with another regular before, Scott, he didn’t have much to say apart from 'Hostile' and gave me the thumbs up"

"It seems to have calmed down Steve, so back to you in the studio"

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:01 am

"Thanks Claire. D'Lo Brown? And now the weather"

"It'll be hot and wet. Like your wife was last night. Feedback?"

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Wed 23 Mar 2011, 9:42 am

New topic:

Unlikely Lines to Hear in a British Rom-Com

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Post by Guest on Wed 23 Mar 2011, 10:13 am

"GET ON THE BED OF I'LL ****ING KILL YOU!"

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Wed 23 Mar 2011, 11:05 am

"And then I ran all the way here through the pouring rain to tell you.......I love you!"

"So?"

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Post by David Tails on Wed 23 Mar 2011, 11:10 am

"He bottled my ex in a nightclub and I knew he was the one..."

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Wed 23 Mar 2011, 11:14 am

"Oh darling that was wonderful! And now that I've made love to you I need to tell you something"

"Yes my sweet?"

"I have AIDS".

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Post by Guest on Wed 23 Mar 2011, 12:15 pm

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:"Oh darling that was wonderful! And now that I've made love to you I need to tell you something"

"Yes my sweet?"

"I have AIDS".

"Oh Gary, that's wonderful news, make love to me"

Scence cuts to bedroom, Gary and Brenda are making love

"Oh yes, yes Gary, i love you, leave the condom, i trust you"




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Post by David Tails on Wed 23 Mar 2011, 12:26 pm

You want to know the story of how we met?

Well it all started when I saw him getting out of the lift. He looked super confident and he cut a fine form.

He stood in front of me and the girls. He introduced himself.

A lot of them thought No Likey....so they no lighty'ed. I thought...this is my one chance at true love. So I left my light on.

My heart was beating like a jackhammer. He walked over towards me...His hand poised over mine (I was protecting the light switch button)...as our eyes met. He then walked away!

I couldn't believe my luck. He looked right at me and said my name. After a split second of shock I bounded out from behind my podium, screaming like a banshee. I ran over to him and all I could think of to say was "Mint"

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Wed 23 Mar 2011, 1:22 pm

David Tails wrote:You want to know the story of how we met?

Well it all started when I saw him getting out of the lift. He looked super confident and he cut a fine form.

He stood in front of me and the girls. He introduced himself.

A lot of them thought No Likey....so they no lighty'ed. I thought...this is my one chance at true love. So I left my light on.

My heart was beating like a jackhammer. He walked over towards me...His hand poised over mine (I was protecting the light switch button)...as our eyes met. He then walked away!

I couldn't believe my luck. He looked right at me and said my name. After a split second of shock I bounded out from behind my podium, screaming like a banshee. I ran over to him and all I could think of to say was "Mint"

Brought a tear to my eye that did Sad

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Post by Guest on Wed 23 Mar 2011, 1:26 pm

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:
David Tails wrote:You want to know the story of how we met?

Well it all started when I saw him getting out of the lift. He looked super confident and he cut a fine form.

He stood in front of me and the girls. He introduced himself.

A lot of them thought No Likey....so they no lighty'ed. I thought...this is my one chance at true love. So I left my light on.

My heart was beating like a jackhammer. He walked over towards me...His hand poised over mine (I was protecting the light switch button)...as our eyes met. He then walked away!

I couldn't believe my luck. He looked right at me and said my name. After a split second of shock I bounded out from behind my podium, screaming like a banshee. I ran over to him and all I could think of to say was "Mint"

Brought a tear to my eye that did :(

Gave me wood!

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Wed 23 Mar 2011, 1:27 pm

King Beer wrote:
theundisputedY2D2 wrote:
David Tails wrote:You want to know the story of how we met?

Well it all started when I saw him getting out of the lift. He looked super confident and he cut a fine form.

He stood in front of me and the girls. He introduced himself.

A lot of them thought No Likey....so they no lighty'ed. I thought...this is my one chance at true love. So I left my light on.

My heart was beating like a jackhammer. He walked over towards me...His hand poised over mine (I was protecting the light switch button)...as our eyes met. He then walked away!

I couldn't believe my luck. He looked right at me and said my name. After a split second of shock I bounded out from behind my podium, screaming like a banshee. I ran over to him and all I could think of to say was "Mint"

Brought a tear to my eye that did Sad

Gave me wood!

I meant my Jap's eye KB! laughing

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Post by Guest on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 2:04 pm

Tomorrow morning, just as William and Kate are walking down the aisle word gets out the our future Queen has made a rather raunchy personal movie and the BBC stream it to millions of people worldwide.

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Post by Liam_Main on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 2:11 pm

For the unlikely things to hear from a newsreader:

"Welcome to ITV news at 10,Just coming in Will has spunked on Kates jubblies.
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Post by Liam_Main on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 2:14 pm

British Rom com:
Make me a sandwhich or im not F****** you!
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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 2:48 pm

Crikey, forgot about this thread! Very Happy

Alright, new topic in keeping with a couple of the above posts:

Unlikely Things To Hear From The Commentators During The Royal Wedding

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Post by hodge on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:06 pm

'Doesn't Kate look like a slut'

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Post by David Tails on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:06 pm

There are gasps from the crowd as Kate slips her ring on Wills finger Shocked

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Post by David Tails on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:07 pm

And here comes Prince Charles, arriving on horseback....oh no, that's Camilla.

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Post by TipToes88 on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:07 pm

And now here comes the carriage bringing our future queen, but Flip that theres a seagull with one leg fighting a homeless guy over there

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Post by hodge on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:11 pm

'And there's Harry and Phillip greeting the German representatives with the nazi salute'

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Post by David Tails on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:11 pm

Would you look at all of these morons with nothing better going on in their lives than to be camping out for a wedding for someone that doesn't know them and will never care about them...

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Post by hodge on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:13 pm

'whats that William told Kate, he's only marrying her because Harry wanted to shag her when they split up'

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Post by David Tails on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:14 pm

Wills is in for a big night....You can tell just looking at her that Kate is pure filth.

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Post by hodge on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:15 pm

'ooooooohhh look Harry and Beatrice are getting it on at the back there'

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Post by hodge on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:17 pm

So how many of you watching knew Kate Middleton is an anagram of 'Naked t'it Model?'

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Post by David Tails on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:18 pm

So nice to see Fergie invited along today...

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Post by hodge on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:25 pm

'aparantly betfred are offering 23/1 that kate will do anal later for will'

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Thu 28 Apr 2011, 3:33 pm

".......and now Prince Phillip is ushering Kate into a car and pointing the driver towards that tunnel......the driver looks a bit inebriated........and the paparazzi are following the car on their motorcycles towards the tunnel...................oh dear"

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