Classic Chat-Up Lines.

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Post by Swanseadabber on Thu 31 Mar 2011, 9:43 pm

Whats the best one you've heard?
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Post by User Name on Fri 01 Apr 2011, 7:40 am

At Christmas time, i asked a bird for her photo, she asked why?, I said it was so i could show Santa what i wanted for christmas, it worked.

8)

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Post by Stealth Maestro Agro Love on Fri 01 Apr 2011, 7:58 am

Hehe.... my friend somehow picked up a friend like this:

Friend: Hey, Kate! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed!

Kate: I'm not Kate

Friend: What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!

I have little to no idea how it worked, it just did. Shocked

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Post by Pr4wn on Fri 01 Apr 2011, 12:08 pm

You don't sweat much for a fat bird.

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Post by President Trump on Fri 01 Apr 2011, 12:12 pm

Get your coat......Ive got a knife, works 100% of the time

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Post by Guest on Fri 01 Apr 2011, 11:14 pm

How'd you like your eggs in the morning ?


Un-fertilised thank you

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Post by Solerina on Sat 02 Apr 2011, 3:34 pm

Jubbahey wrote:How'd you like your eggs in the morning ?


Un-fertilised thank you

ROFL!

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Post by Perfect Jack on Sat 02 Apr 2011, 5:56 pm

Hi.

Get's em everytime 8)

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Post by TipToes88 on Tue 05 Apr 2011, 11:31 am

does this smell like chlorofilm?

sorry that was a bad one

long one but it has worked although its more of a finisher than a ice breaker. Start a convo with a girl until you get comfy with her. Once you have her interested keep staring at your watch, lots. Eventually she'll ask if your bored/late etc then comes the line.

Guy- "oh I'm really sorry. My dad got me a psychic watch for my birthday, it tells me all sorts. Right now its telling me your not wearing any underwear"
Girl- "I am wearing underwear"
Guy- *taps watch annoyed* "Damn it not again....damn things running an hour fast again Smile"

cheesy, lame and sightly seedy but i was 3 for 3 on that till i met my mrs.

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Post by Enforcer on Tue 05 Apr 2011, 4:34 pm

There's a party in my boxers....and you're invited!

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Post by David Tails on Tue 05 Apr 2011, 4:51 pm

You've got eyes like spanners.

Everytime I look in to them, my nuts get tighter.

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Post by User Name on Tue 05 Apr 2011, 11:07 pm

If you were a door, id bang you all night long.

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Post by TipToes88 on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 10:17 am

Were both your parents retarded? because your pretty damn special

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Post by Kay Fabe on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 10:48 am

Did you just fart there? coz you blew me away

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Post by Kay Fabe on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 10:50 am

If you where a solero I'd be licking you all night!

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Post by Kay Fabe on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 10:50 am

I may not be the best looking lad here, but hey I'm the only one talking to you!


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Post by Guest on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 10:55 am

Get in the van.

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Post by Guest on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 7:39 pm

Somewhere in the Appalachian hills.....

Hi beautiful.....with your 11 fingers and my 9 toes we could make great music together.

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Post by Solerina on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 9:06 pm

I think most of you lot must be single!

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Post by Marsh on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 9:13 pm

I'm not fred flintstone but i'll make your bedrock

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Post by Enforcer on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 9:43 pm

Sol, I'm married and I actually sent the line I posted to my wife in work on Monday!!

Before you ask...no it didn't work!

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Post by Solerina on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 10:33 pm

Enforcer wrote:Sol, I'm married and I actually sent the line I posted to my wife in work on Monday!!

Before you ask...no it didn't work!

Lol.......I'm not surprised!

Loving this thread.....do keep your chat up lines coming : )

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Post by Dexter Morgan on Wed 06 Apr 2011, 11:07 pm

King Beer wrote:Get in the van.

I might try this one.

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Post by Legend on Thu 07 Apr 2011, 7:08 am

I'm a freelance gynocologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
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Post by Stealth Maestro Agro Love on Thu 07 Apr 2011, 7:55 am

King Beer wrote:Get in the van.

I like this one. 8)

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Thu 07 Apr 2011, 1:39 pm

You are a horrible, horrible human being. You're ugly and you smell. No-one will ever love you. Fancy going for a coffee?

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Post by TipToes88 on Thu 07 Apr 2011, 4:00 pm

Eurgh, can you come back in 3 pints time?

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Post by SugarRayRussell (PBK) on Sun 10 Apr 2011, 7:30 pm

You're in luck I'm really drunk
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Post by Gaelic-Warrior on Sun 10 Apr 2011, 10:41 pm

Two that have worked for me before-

"...want to see my loch ness monster"?

"I've lost my teddy bear.....can I sleep with you instead tonight"?
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Post by Enforcer on Mon 11 Apr 2011, 11:45 am

The first one worked? Unless she was a Scottish scientist searching for the Loch Ness Monster and you duped her into saying yes!

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Post by Scottrf on Thu 14 Apr 2011, 3:54 pm

Doesn't count if the chat up line is accompanied by a knife.

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Post by Adam D on Thu 14 Apr 2011, 4:52 pm

or Rahypnol

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Post by MR. scotland27 on Thu 14 Apr 2011, 6:32 pm

Do you like Chocolate? Then drop your snickers and ill give you a boost...
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Post by User Name on Fri 15 Apr 2011, 7:55 am

Does this chloroform smell funny to you?

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Post by GG on Sat 16 Apr 2011, 11:52 pm

I've got some sweets in my truck...


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Post by Luke on Sun 17 Apr 2011, 6:08 am

If i could re-arrange the alphabet, i would put u and i together.
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Post by Guest on Sun 17 Apr 2011, 1:07 pm

Are you tired? You've been running through my mind all day!

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Post by User Name on Sun 17 Apr 2011, 5:09 pm

There's a party in my pant's and your invited.

or...

Fancy a ride.

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Post by Blunderbuss on Mon 09 May 2011, 12:00 pm

How much??

or.......

Kip with me and will give you an intro to my goodlooking mate!!

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Post by TipToes88 on Tue 10 May 2011, 11:40 am

get totally legless, grab a girl and scream "Here Saraaah, I reeeaaally fancy you so hoooo abowwwt it eh?"

for people who did'nt live in Scotland in the 90's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgTK_xJK_hg

classic ad


Last edited by TipToes88 on Tue 10 May 2011, 11:46 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : forgot link)

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Post by AquaArab on Tue 10 May 2011, 5:24 pm

"get totally legless, grab a girl and scream "Here Saraaah, I reeeaaally fancy you so hoooo abowwwt it eh?"
That was the same chat up line and technique I always used. Probably explains why I'm still a virgin. Sad

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Post by TipToes88 on Wed 11 May 2011, 12:50 pm

dunno, I'm sure it worked for that guy. Did you not see her walk away from him...she was getting her coat Smile

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Post by AquaArab on Wed 11 May 2011, 1:50 pm

Maybe it is just because I'm fricken ugly then.

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Post by TipToes88 on Wed 11 May 2011, 3:32 pm

I'm sure that is not the case. Maybe they just don't like United fans?

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Post by AquaArab on Wed 11 May 2011, 5:00 pm

Maybe I should put a bag over my head and wear a Barcelona top. Then I could use the chat up line, "Hey there I'm Messi. But if you swallow quick enough it shouldn't be a problem."

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Post by Liam_Main on Wed 11 May 2011, 6:22 pm

I know Charlie Sheen.Gets them straight away.
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Post by theundisputedY2D2 on Thu 12 May 2011, 1:22 pm

"Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven?"

Then when she rolls her eyes, punch her in the face and say:

"Well, how about that then?"

60% of the time, it works EVERY time.

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Post by camerajuan on Fri 13 May 2011, 2:21 pm

"Aaaawww, you're alone in a foreign country and its too hot even with the window open? Fancy a maasive game of hide & seek in Morocco?"

Still looking............best line ever.

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Post by TipToes88 on Mon 16 May 2011, 9:47 am

wow, I'm fairly up for dark jokes but that was shocking

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Post by camerajuan on Mon 16 May 2011, 5:04 pm

I refer you to the "jokes" thread on this page which makes light of paedophilia (Gary Glitter) and suicide (Chris Benoit).

Two things I regard worse than kidnapping. Assisted kidnapping to be brutally honest.

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