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Liverpool have improved their offer to tempt West Ham into taking British record signing Andy Carroll off their hands for next season by agreeing to have him back at the end of it, according to reports.
In an unusual development, the Merseyside giants have recognised their £35 million man has all the winning potential of a rocking horse, thus becoming an ideal fit for West Ham manager Sam Allardyce’s footballing philosophy.
A Liverpool spokesman said, “Trying to get rid of Andy Carroll even as a temporary measure is like trying to secure a seat at the Olympics for the 100 metres final – impossible unless you’re willing to lose a shed load of money.”
“It seems the only sure fire way to get someone to take him from us is to promise they can give him back. Of course, if we happen to move stadiums whilst he’s away there’s always a chance he won’t find us.”
The England international is said to be unhappy with the proposal, citing the steep uplift in the price of a pint of a lager down South as a serious stumbling block to some serious.... er.... stumbling.
“Andy’s very disappointed,” said a spokesperson for the player. “He’s needs assurances that he will not be ripped off like Liverpool were when they bought him.”
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Quite frankly, I for one hope Carroll tells Rogers to get stuffed and only leaves Liverpool if it suits him. Its disgusting the way Rogers has treated him by trying to force him out whilst also claiming he could play into his system.
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