The Physics of Santa... some festive cheer.

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Post by RuggerRadge2611 on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 9:58 am

Received this as a funny wee seasonal e-mail and thought I would share it with you guys.



No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn’t (appear) to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total — 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that is 91.9 million homes. One presumes there’s at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75½ million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest manmade vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a rather swift 27.4 miles per second — a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (150grams), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" could pull TEN times their normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload — not even counting the weight of the sleigh — to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison — this is four times the weight of one of the new Royal Navy Aircraft Carriers.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance — this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer with absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

So if Santa does exits... he is probably dead now! The Physics of Santa... some festive cheer. 3513163098


Merry Christmas guys!
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Post by AsLongAsBut100ofUs on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 10:17 am

Laugh vey good!

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Post by doctor_grey on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 10:20 am

Your treatise is clearly flawed. The reindeer are magic. That obviates the presumed laws of physics and thermodynamics. The secret is in the glowing red nose on the lead reindeer (what's his name again?). Turn that off (or if he runs out of AA batteries) then they are doomed.

But it doesn't matter, right? The world is supposed to end in two days.

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Post by Biltong on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 10:22 am

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound

Well there's the reason why we have never seen reindeer flying. They're too darn fast. Whistle
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Post by Peter Seabiscuit Wheeler on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 10:23 am

Its the same principle that allowed Scotland to put three tries on the All Blacks

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Post by Bathman_in_London on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 11:00 am

So Rudolph has a red nose due to air resistance... It all makes sense!

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Post by MrsP on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 3:17 pm

My best friend, the same one I was with when we inadvertantly invented a new word which turned out to have already been invented and was extremely rude, yes her. She told her wee brother that Santa had fallen off his sleigh and been trampled to death by his reindeer!

On Christmas Eve!!!!!!

Radge, I hope you get the ashes you thoroughly deserve.

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Post by doctor_grey on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 3:33 pm

MrsP wrote:My best friend, the same one I was with when we inadvertantly invented a new word which turned out to have already been invented and was extremely rude, yes her. She told her wee brother that Santa had fallen off his sleigh and been trampled to death by his reindeer!

On Christmas Eve!!!!!!

Radge, I hope you get the ashes you thoroughly deserve.
And this comes from the woman who tried to cancel Christmas for her poor children last year...........

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Post by MrsP on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 3:36 pm

Now that isn't quite true.

I held a poll on the subject.

Democracy at it's best!

The Physics of Santa... some festive cheer. 3513163098

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Post by Glas a du on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 3:37 pm

Laugh

Not cancel, postpone...
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Post by MrsP on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 3:43 pm

Whistle

I was merely worried about the potential effects on the space time continuim of 2 Christmas Days in one calendar year.

Having read Radge's article you can understand why.

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Post by Glas a du on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 3:44 pm

Aye...

Whistle
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Post by bluestonevedder on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 3:48 pm

Excellent Rugger- nice one!

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Post by doctor_grey on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 4:11 pm

But the point, Scroogette, is that you wanted to.

I still can't fathom how you could have looked in your kid's sad eyes as they slowly well up with tears as you tell them Chirstmas is no more for them. As they wistfully look through the window into a neighbor's house at a lovingly decorrated christmas tree and see the joy of other families celebrating the wonder of the holiday and joy of being together. Leaving your kids standing outside braving the cold, raw, damp wind on Chirstmas Eve when all kids are happy and sung at home with their families and friends.

Oh, the sadness.
Oh, the misery.
Oh, the sense of loss.

Makes me wants to cry, it does,

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Post by MrsP on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 4:27 pm

I wasn't planning on leaving them outside.

And we did decorate the house.

I was just looking for clarification as to whether it was allowable, possible or even safe for there to be 2 Christmas Days in one calendar year.

So, dry yer lamps!

The Physics of Santa... some festive cheer. 1054138444

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Post by Glas a du on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 5:22 pm

This thread is inappropriately titled...

...unlike the program I'm watching now, "Pointless Celebrities" The Physics of Santa... some festive cheer. 3602195817
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Post by MrsP on Wed 19 Dec 2012, 5:38 pm

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Better?

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