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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Mon 01 Apr 2013, 12:17 pm

Took a chick that will remain nameless to see Raw Deal back in the day..........All she did was moan all the way through it....spurning my advances both during and afterwards...........Would have been more fun taking Attila the hun out........

Still remember and squirm about it now..........

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Post by Adam D on Mon 01 Apr 2013, 12:25 pm

Just received this email from someone who wishes to remain anonymous:

"I was once taken on a date to see some rotten Arnie movie. The guy who took me wouldnt keep his hands off me and more alarmingly himself during and afterwards.

He kept telling me that he was bigger than Arnie for the 97 minute duration of the film - I hope he was talking about his muscles.

After the film, we went for one drink - I had a pint of stout, he ordered Babysham - what a turn off.

Needless to say, that I never saw him again but I did run into my current boyfriend that night. His name is Az and he is a real sweetheart, although he does tend to argue with everything I say for the sake of it. For example, he once told me that the sky was green just because everyone else said it was blue. He also makes me wear a burka all the time.

Having said that I am dumping him for someone I met online called David4. He seems nice although I only think he likes me for my Indonesian roots I think. I am meeting him tomorrow. He has asked me to wear a fake Goatie so that he will recognise me.

"

How very odd!

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Post by Galted on Mon 01 Apr 2013, 12:34 pm

Going to a film is always risky, remember Travis's date in Taxi Driver?

Going back a while, invited a girl I knew from college out, unfortunately it seems I hadn't made it clear it was a date and she brought her boyfriend with. She was quite a hottie as well.

To make it worse I'd met up with some mates in the pub beforehand & got a bit p1ssed & boastful about it so they waited around at the next table to see this goddess I was going to bang. Conversation was excruciating.
Wasn't easy living that down.
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Post by Adam D on Mon 01 Apr 2013, 12:42 pm

Galted wrote:Going to a film is always risky, remember Travis's date in Taxi Driver?

Going back a while, invited a girl I knew from college out, unfortunately it seems I hadn't made it clear it was a date and she brought her boyfriend with. She was quite a hottie as well.

To make it worse I'd met up with some mates in the pub beforehand & got a bit p1ssed & boastful about it so they waited around at the next table to see this goddess I was going to bang. Conversation was excruciating.
Wasn't easy living that down.

That is superb!

Did they invite you to watch at the end of the night?

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Post by Galted on Mon 01 Apr 2013, 12:53 pm

Smile

No, handled it as well as could be hoped for under the circumstances as we ended up being friends & she never mentioned it.
My mates, on the other hand, mentioned it quite a bit.
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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Mon 01 Apr 2013, 5:55 pm

Babycham...........Brings back memories... Wink

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Mon 01 Apr 2013, 5:59 pm

Went out with a girl once who was a big Madonna fan............Man she was boring......She'd find a way to get Madonna into every conversation......

If I brought up a subject like ...The Pope, The National debt, Jack the ripper or climbing K2 she'd find a way to link Madonna into the conversation....

Even now I get cold sweats when I here... Like A virgin............

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Post by Good Golly I'm Olly on Mon 01 Apr 2013, 6:19 pm

Arranged to meet my ex at the coast, missed my train, and my phone was out of credit.

To say I got an earful would be an understatement
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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Mon 01 Apr 2013, 10:59 pm

Your Mrs isn't called Stan is she Olly ??... Embarrassing dating experiences ?? 3559488474

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Post by Good Golly I'm Olly on Mon 01 Apr 2013, 11:04 pm

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Your Mrs isn't called Stan is she Olly ??... Embarrassing dating experiences ?? 3559488474

Haha very good Truss Hug
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Post by x12x on Wed 29 May 2013, 6:26 pm

Maybe I'm awful with girls but none of these seem that bad (well the girl bringing her boyfriend is pretty bad)...I once took a girl on a date and we went to get milkshakes, I paid being the gentleman I am but then I went on to knock the full glass of milkshake down on to my dates leg making it look like she had a bad case of diarrhoea...this is one of my better stories Whistle.

I may get banned if I told the worst haha.

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Post by Crimey on Wed 29 May 2013, 8:08 pm

I once went on a date where we saw a film at about 10 o'clock in the morning, it was seem crappy film and had been out already for a couple of weeks, the cinema was empty...most awkward hour and a half of my life, think it was doomed from then on. I tried my best to find some humour in it, think I missed a bullet to be honest, that was bout 3-4 years ago and she's a right heffalump now.

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Post by x12x on Wed 29 May 2013, 8:15 pm

My dating history is full of wrong names, inappropriate jokes and awkward moments haha.

I was dating this girl a year or two ago and she was convinced that I was a "man lady of loose morals" and I did my best to change her opinion, she then went to stay with her mate and sent me a picture of them together...I recognised the girl...it was some girl I slept with a few months before, safe to say it didn't last much longer.

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Post by ShahenshahG on Wed 29 May 2013, 8:43 pm

Used to go out with a girl with a terrific pair of norks and she was only 5 foot 3 so I'd spent half the first date drooling without her noticing - we'd gpne to watch a horror movie and she kept grabbing me and rubbing em up against my arm everytime a shock scene came up. The movie finished about 10 pm and we decided to go back to the town where my car was parked so I could drop her home. Cue all her friends (one of whom was six foot 4 and wearing high heels Shocked so had to look down at me) entering and whispering/pointing past the shopping bags (that I was holding strategically) at my stiffy and winking at my date - who had no idea what was going on. Most uncomfortable ten minutes of my life.

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Post by Kenny on Wed 29 May 2013, 11:53 pm

When i saw this thread and with my birthday coming up on monday ( all cards and gifts welcome ) it reminded me of a date i had a long time ago .

It was my 20th birthday and i had invited a girl i had liked for ages out for a proper date ........ a meal ........ there was no going to the cinema or the pub this was going to be a special date .

I booked a table at a nice restaurant ( i had been there before for my nans birthday so i knew the food was good ) and picked her up in a taxi .. no expense spared .

We get to the restaurant and wait to be seated , things are going really well we are actually talking to each with no awkward silences . The waiter seats us at a table near the back of the restaurant and gives us menus to look over while asking if we would like anything to drink .... time to impress .... i order a bottle of wine Wink . The waiter pours a little into my glass and i tell him not to be shy and fill it up , which makes my date laugh ... i'm thinking i'm a bloody genius by this point . She then tells me she doesn't drink !
She can see i'm a little thrown by this and says she will try a little glass of wine with her meal . Things then start to take a turn for the worst , she doesn't know what to have so orders scallops for a starter like me .
After her second glass of wine ( she tells me she has had enough and feels funny) and having finished all her starter and now getting ready for her main course she starts to cough / choke as she discovers she has a seafood allergy and her throat and face are now swelling up like a balloon , we are now the focus of the other diners as my date looks like she has gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson . A ambulance is called and our 'date ' is over but not our night as i now have to find a phone ( bare in mind this is long before mobiles were everywhere ) and ring her parents to come to the hospital .

They arrive and want to know what is happening and what the hell have i done to their daughter , i try and explain but that makes it worse as now i have got their little girl drunk so i could take advantage of her and tried to poison her when she didn't want anymore to drink .

She was alright after being given antihistamines but she did have to stay in hospital for 3 days . Her Dad tried to have me arrested and although we stayed in touch for awhile me and the girl never went on another date .
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Post by x12x on Wed 29 May 2013, 11:56 pm

Ok that is a bad date...making a girl look like she's sh*t herself is one thing...almost killing her is another. Laugh

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Post by Guest on Thu 30 May 2013, 6:25 pm

A few years ago I bumped into a mate on the way into town who told me he was meeting a girl he'd met online for the first time. The conversation went like this:

Me "Alright Bill what you up to?"

Billy "Just about to meet some bird I've been speaking to on the internet"

Me "Oh right, where you meeting her?"

Billy "Outside McDonalds"

Me "Where you taking her?"

Billy "McDonalds"

Absolute legend that man! An inspiration to us all.

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Post by Galted on Thu 30 May 2013, 6:29 pm

Laugh

Has certainly inspired me.
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Post by Hibbz on Thu 30 May 2013, 8:51 pm

Nothing to add in terms of stories but thanks for those shared. Very, very amusing.

Billy's for the sheer brutality and Freek's for the classic comedic telling.

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Post by James_182 on Thu 30 May 2013, 10:26 pm

This didn't get to a date as such, but sure as hell is embarrassing!

On a night out with a few mates, some of which were at uni, we joined up with another group, of which there was this girl who took a liking to me.

She was my type I go for ( indie/rock chick look, short and curvy ) and despite not talking to her much in the evening, you can imagine my delight when she text me the next day to say she wanted to meet me.

So the day of the date looms, its a half hour before we are due to meet and then texts to say she can't make it, stuck on train in Norwich apparently.

Okay i thought, fair enough, left it a little late but sounds reasonable, so me being a sucker asks if she is free the next day, to which she says she is, so a second first date is penciled in.

I get to the restaurant the next day and wait outside for her, a half hour passes so I text casually to say I am here and looking forward to meeting etc.

The reply I got was from an unknown number claiming to be her friend to say that this girl had fell over and broke her arm and was in hospital.

This sounded like $ hit to me, but I still asked if she was okay and got nothing back.

This was in December, so the wait outside was freezing and it was sleeting as well, some people kept looking at me, as they knew I had been stitched up, So she made me feel like a right mug.

Next I heard was a few days later, she text a mate and she asked if I was alright and not too mad with her! The broken arm was guff also as you could have guessed.

Basically turned out she had a boyfriend, and she was on off with him and used me as a backup!

Done up like a kipper.

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Post by ShahenshahG on Fri 31 May 2013, 12:27 pm

Poor lad. My mates stitched me up in Birmingham, through some texts and pictures (she was in on the joke), enticed me to Edgbaston and idiot that I am didn't connect that fact that my mates were going there on the same day and accepted a lift from them to the town. There we parted and they jumped back into their car and went to the meeting spot with the girl standing out in plain sight. Sadly for them and luckily for me I bottled it Laugh and went to watch Warwickshire play

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Post by Pal Joey on Fri 19 Jul 2013, 10:41 am

How tall was she? Laugh 

Sort of a long running Harry Met Sally moment for me or a couple of awkward experiences with the same girl.... 30 years apart!

I had this crush on a girl at uni in the mid-80s. We used to hang out in this large group which did everything together. I was actually going out with another girl at the time; to use as bait... but it never worked, she pretty much was one step ahead every time. There were the odd happy moments but nothing ever came of it. By around 1990 she had met this guy (whom she married in about 1991) and I was already resigned to the fact that it was not meant to be. Wasted a couple of years being obsessed with her though. I (imagined) she was very innocent, angelic looking, great face & body, good Catholic upbringing (therefore quite rebellious potentially). She had a knack of hardly wearing any clothes but looking stylish (inspired by Madonna no doubt!) and was of Dutch/Oz background.

Fast forward to early this year. 2013. Shocked (I've already been married and divorced for over a decade.) I bump into a mate (one of the original group above) who tells me he got a cold call in Jan this year from this same bird who was asking him if he "knew any art dealers?" It turns out that her marriage was hell, the guy a psychopath who is trying to drag her through the courts and make her life unbearable. She had some rare French impressionist painting which she wanted to flog off on the market.

It just so happened that I knew another lady (much older) who was doing the same thing - trying to offload some artwork for different reasons. So I asked her for a few art dealer contact details. My mate then says - "is it OK if I give her (the Madonna lover) your mobile number?" He knew the story about my 80s fascination with her and was willing me on with words like "Go for it... she still looks great!" and "You've got nothing to lose..." and "mate, she's up for it... for sure!!!"

So I get this call one Saturday evening. After 2 minutes she says. "hey T, can I call you back? Just have to bring the Toulouse Geese in... it's getting dark and we have a fox problem here" She lives in quite wild country on the outskirts of Sydney.

I thought if ever there was an excuse... well that one takes 1st Prize.

However, the phone rings again and we chat for about an hour. I was ribbing her about Dutch impressionists and wood duck carvings. She loved it. She then went on to tell me her life story - warts and all (way too much info but she clearly said she hadn't made love as much as she had wanted... the ex must have been seeing other women the whole time!) and how timely it was for me to call her. After listening to her rant about the ex for a short while I was thinking...jeez, I'm not sure if this is what I'm after. She said "we should get together..... you know... the 'guys' from uni..." I let that one go through to the keeper - maybe should have asserted myself then but I chose to let it be my out clause. Think that's probably best - although if I were more predatory I'd probably have another crack.

Then about a month ago I get this call from her. I'd put her name in the phone. The conversation went like this:

her "Hello?"
me "Hello?... is that you X?"
her "Yes, it is. Sorry, I thought this was Sue-Linn Lee* from Sotheby's. I saw this number and wasn't sure whose it was..." (so that went well didn't it?) Laugh 
me "How are things?"
her "Don't ask. My ex is here with his mates and they've gone beserk with chain saws chopping down trees on the property. I've already had Council put an order on him to prevent him doing this... he is so aggressive though! Wants to scare me!"
me "So, it's not a good time to talk?"
her "Actually, thinking about our last conversation (the 1 hour phone talk) it's probably a very good time. You're always in control, talk sense... and you make me feel empowered"
me "Just keep calm and don't antagonise them... especially when they have chain saws in their hands.."
her "tell me about it. He is so angry and the geese are scared too!" (I think she was hinting that I hop in the car, drive 30km and confront them)
me "we oughta catch up soon... but I've got to dash... got a meeting at Randwick in an hour" (sort of true... it was the next day)
her "yeah, that sounds great. Let's catch up with the guys again.....how does that sound"
me "yeah sure... sounds great, why not... "

Smile ffs, I'm tempted to just drive up there one night and kidnap her... but then again her ex might be prowling around with a shotgun.

* not her real name... Wink


Last edited by Linebreaker on Fri 19 Jul 2013, 11:04 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Adam D on Fri 19 Jul 2013, 11:04 am

If the movies have ever told me anything about life, you need to wait until shes jetting off for a new life and chase after her through Sydney airport. Never fails.

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Post by Pal Joey on Fri 19 Jul 2013, 11:16 am

Yes, that would be a classic, Adam. I'd love to see if she still has that cute blush when she gets embarrassed.

I think I first need to get a posse of my heavyweight boxing & wrestling mates to clear the ex out first. I'll need help for sure. It's a bit rough out there in the sticks.

No one can hear them scream... if 'we' do it properly. I need to think, man! Smile

Not quite the same as Deliverance... but plenty of small fast-running rivers, thick woods, the sound of gun shots sending parrots into flight, some cleared land, a perfect place to set up a religious sect... some quite expensive homes and small farms dotted throughout. The fact that she has this artwork says that whatever she's been doing it's not a bad lifestyle... or maybe it's part of an inheritance?
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Post by Adam D on Fri 19 Jul 2013, 12:39 pm

Why dont you invite her into the city for a evening of romance, food and 2 minute sexual pleasure (for you).

Tell her to tell her husband that its a meeting to go and sell the art.

infidelity - v2 admin approved OK

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Post by killer-boosh on Sat 20 Jul 2013, 3:22 pm

not really a story I am proud of, but on a staff night out getting on with a girl i worked with come the end of the night she suggest we go back to her place (I am very drunk at this point mind, no excuse) we go back to her place.
I wake up in the morning with love bites all over my neck and chest, I leave very quickly, go home to the wife and after about 10/15mins of lying my face off get a call from the girl and married is over (got things sorted in the end, I am a good groveller) and I have to find somewhere to live very quickly.

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Post by Ent on Tue 23 Jul 2013, 3:50 pm

I often wonder why I didn't try get into dating when I was younger and feel I missed out a bit.

Then I read the stories on here and I'm glad I left it, would have been mortified by a lot of these things!

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Wed 28 Jan 2015, 3:50 pm

I think knowing when to try to kiss someone is probably the most unnerving experiences you'll ever have on a date....

obviously the time wasn't right befiore when I tried to snog my Boss !! Wink

Like at the end of the first date with my lovely Jo when she's looking at you thinking are you going to kiss me you C**T and you're thinking should I try and kiss her.... and you spend a lifetime looking in eachothers eyes by which time you've said goodnight at least fifty times !!...

Cringeing thinking about it !! picard ......But I was only a kid though !!.....

These things are so much easier in the movies !!

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Thu 29 Jan 2015, 8:53 am

I took a girl to see Se7en at the pictures way back when. We were going to go to McDonalds for a spot of nosebag afterwards.

Things were going pretty well, I was just building up the confidence to grope her boobs when we get to the scene with the dead prostitute who had literally been shagged to death by the chap with a sword where his knob should have been.

She basically starts crying and gets up and walks out. She wasn't the only person to leave either. I was really enjoying the film so took a tactical decision to sit tight and watch the rest of it. In the naivety of my youth, I assumed she would be waiting for me afterwards. She wasn't.

I checked in the arcades, I checked in McDonalds, I checked in the Asda. Nowhere. She had gone home. I'd paid for her bloody ticket.

She was right classy as well. From Warrington. All the classy girls came from there.

It's still a painful memory now.


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Post by superflyweight on Thu 29 Jan 2015, 9:21 am

What is it about Se7en? My mate was going on a date to see it and I invited myself along as a gooseberry. Even managed to get the taxi home to drop him off first so that I could be sure he got nothing.

Did anyone ever get any action as a result of watching that film?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Thu 29 Jan 2015, 9:25 am

superflyweight wrote:What is it about Se7en?  My mate was going on a date to see it and I invited myself along as a gooseberry.  Even managed to get the taxi home to drop him off first so that I could be sure he got nothing.  

Did anyone ever get any action as a result of watching that film?  

I'm pretty sure I masturbated in the evening. Does that count?

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Post by Guest on Thu 29 Jan 2015, 9:34 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:What is it about Se7en?  My mate was going on a date to see it and I invited myself along as a gooseberry.  Even managed to get the taxi home to drop him off first so that I could be sure he got nothing.  

Did anyone ever get any action as a result of watching that film?  

I'm pretty sure I masturbated in the evening.  Does that count?
I hope so Tina....cos that means I got laid at the cinema whilst the film was on.







Also got laid during "Bambi" if the above scenario counts!

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Post by Strongback on Thu 29 Jan 2015, 10:50 pm

I met a chick in a bar when I was in uni. She was also a student and invited me back to her place. Anyway things progressed and I'm giving her a good seeing to on the sitting room sofa when six of her mates walk in. It was a weird scene. She didn't want to continue so the show was over. Some of the other girls looked disappointed.

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Post by trottb on Fri 30 Jan 2015, 9:00 am

Strongback wrote: It was a weird scene. She didn't want to continue so the show was over. Some of the other girls looked disappointed.

You should never confuse disappointment with fear. Imagine their horror at walking in to find the bloke from the Lucky Charms box has come to life and is r@ping their flat mate.

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Post by Guest on Fri 30 Jan 2015, 9:21 am

trottb wrote:
Strongback wrote: It was a weird scene. She didn't want to continue so the show was over. Some of the other girls looked disappointed.

You should never confuse disappointment with fear. Imagine their horror at walking in to find the bloke from the Lucky Charms box has come to life and is r@ping their flat mate.

I can imagine them running out of the flat in terror as some pompous Irish dwarf screeches "Gobble on these, ladies, they're magically delicious...a fiddle de dee de di de doh!"

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Embarrassing dating experiences ?? Empty Re: Embarrassing dating experiences ??

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