How would you make the shops a better experience?

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Post by sikhlion on Sat 14 Dec 2013, 2:02 pm

For me shops especially at Christhmas are a nightmare. No parking, too many crowds, too many screaming kids. If it was up to me I'd ban all pensioners from shopping after 5pm and on weekends, so that those of us who can't shop during working hours have more space, anyone who has no job could only shop 9 till 5 on weekdays too and children under the age if ten would have to be left at home on weekends too!

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Post by Champagne_Socialist on Sat 14 Dec 2013, 3:32 pm

Just use amazon or online shopping if you hate the experience that much

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Post by Guest on Sat 14 Dec 2013, 4:00 pm

haha pure comical stuff with all these allotted times & banning orders for types of people......just for shopping. You must be bored too of come up with this.


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Post by Guest on Sat 14 Dec 2013, 4:24 pm

What about 17 year old mothers with 3 kids in tow hogging up valuable aisle space? And ridiculously overweight fatties in mobility scooters? I find these to be a serious nuisance.

I'm in the CS camp in that I buy online. Haven't been in my town centre in about 5 years.

I hate Christmas anyway  Laugh 

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Post by Lumbering_Jack on Sun 15 Dec 2013, 4:44 pm

People who randomly stop in the middle of a crowd should be executed on the spot.

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Post by Guest on Fri 20 Dec 2013, 6:29 pm

1/ Women's clothes shops to have a "man creche" installed. Instead of standing around holding her shopping bags and getting in the way of other women who want to look at underwear (who invariably stare at you with a look that says "Why are you undressing me with your eyes you disgusting piece of filth" when you're actually thinking "Jeez, I pity your fella if he's gonna be confronted by your blubbery carcass lurching out of the darkness wearing that...ya fat cow!" but I digress...) the Man Creche is a large room with SKY SPORTS, a pool table, kebab shop and oh sod it...a ball pool. Your other half puts you in there and takes a ticket so she can collect you later a bit like a cloakroom and, a bit like a cloakroom, if you lose your ticket she has to wait until the end instead of pointing and saying "It's that one, that's mine, I can see it there"

2/ Those European style markets to be banned unless they do something radical like not charging a f*****g fiver for a piece of cake or £3 for a slice of mango and buffalo scented soap (not even wrapped, just sliced like frickin' cheese and not even symetrically!!)

3/ Any kid shouting things like "but it's only £99.99" as if they're not being a greedy little **** for saying £100 to be automatically punched in the head/stomach by the three people closest to them.

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Post by Guest on Fri 20 Dec 2013, 7:34 pm

Laugh @ number 3.

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Post by Breadvan on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 11:21 am

A new yrs virtual  Ale for DAVE. Great stuff!
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Post by Galted on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 12:25 pm

Dave667's comedic ranting style makes me suspect he's really David Mitchell, my second celeb-uncovering of the day.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 12:28 pm

Galted wrote:Dave667's comedic ranting style makes me suspect he's really David Mitchell, my second celeb-uncovering of the day.

Third in total though.

After you exposed yourself as being Ray Mears.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Guest on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 12:31 pm

Can't deny I'm a big fan of Dave's work. I think he should write an e-book so I can stick it on the kindle my mother queued hours to buy me in rush hour christmas shopping traffic.

Just a thought Dave...

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Post by Guest on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 12:47 pm

The fact you find my ranting comedic is very much appreciated but totally incidental. Must admit that, if I could be bothered voting, I'd be voting for GALTED as my favourite/funniest poster (closely followed by John Bloody Wayne). Those two always make me chuckle....but not enough to bother voting for them in a poll where nobody wins anything except fleeting internet kudos...they deserve better...I just don't know what that might be.

Off to town to be annoyed by everyone and everything.

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Post by Galted on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 1:40 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:Dave667's comedic ranting style makes me suspect he's really David Mitchell, my second celeb-uncovering of the day.

Third in total though.

After you exposed yourself as being Ray Mears.

Once again, f**k you, Tino.
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Post by Galted on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 1:42 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Off to town to be annoyed by everyone and everything.

I'm sure we'll have saturation coverage when they start unearthing the bodies from the crawl-space below the house in a few years time
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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 1:43 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:Dave667's comedic ranting style makes me suspect he's really David Mitchell, my second celeb-uncovering of the day.

Third in total though.

After you exposed yourself as being Ray Mears.

Once again, f**k you, Tino.

ahahahah

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Post by Guest on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 2:48 pm

Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Off to town to be annoyed by everyone and everything.

I'm sure we'll have saturation coverage when they start unearthing the bodies from the crawl-space below the house in a few years time
I'll have moved/been moved by the authorities/lynch mob by then...again!

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Post by Galted on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 3:03 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Off to town to be annoyed by everyone and everything.

I'm sure we'll have saturation coverage when they start unearthing the bodies from the crawl-space below the house in a few years time
I'll have moved/been moved by the authorities/lynch mob by then...again!

 Smile

It'll probably be some poor b'stard like Fred West or Peter Sutcliffe who gets it in the neck again while the 667 killer goes free.
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Post by Guest on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 3:10 pm

Always amazes me when people say things like "Ooh he seemed such a nice bloke" Just for once I'd like to see some fella on tv in his tatty vest saying stuff like "What? Old 'Stabber' Evans? Mad as a box of boiled badgers that one. F**k knows how he's never been locked up before now. I've lived next door to him for twenty years now and he's killed at least three of my wives!"

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Post by Guest on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 3:12 pm

Laugh Laugh Laugh 

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Post by Galted on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 3:18 pm

"He was quiet, you know, kept to himself, never had a bad word to say about anyone."

No sh1t you old bat, probably because he spent most of the time in the basement skinning corpses.
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Post by Guest on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 3:23 pm

Yes neighbour watch really is overrated.

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Post by Guest on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 3:26 pm

That "Old stabber Evans" quote is still killing me! I can feel a warm leg coming on.

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Post by Galted on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 3:33 pm

That set me up for the "box of boiled badgers" to push me over the edge.
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Post by Guest on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 3:37 pm

Glad I can send you off with a smile before the end...er, of the year!

Sounds a bit Harold Shipman without that last bit

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 4:07 pm

DAVE667 wrote:Glad I can send you off with a smile before the end...er, of the year!

Sounds a bit Harold Shipman without that last bit

Its not funny anymore Dave, I think we are tired of jokes about Tino's son.

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Post by Guest on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 4:09 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Glad I can send you off with a smile before the end...er, of the year!

Sounds a bit Harold Shipman without that last bit

Its not funny anymore Dave, I think we are tired of jokes about Tino's son.
Speak for yourself, it's like YouTube videos of kids falling over or fat people falling into/onto/off stuff

IT NEVER GETS BORING

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 31 Dec 2013, 4:20 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Glad I can send you off with a smile before the end...er, of the year!

Sounds a bit Harold Shipman without that last bit

Its not funny anymore Dave, I think we are tired of jokes about Tino's son.
Speak for yourself, it's like YouTube videos of kids falling over or fat people falling into/onto/off stuff

IT NEVER GETS BORING

Damn - wanted to beat a trend for once

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Post by mujisafto on Mon 20 Jan 2014, 8:59 am

online shopping for convenience
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Post by Guest on Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:39 pm

mujisafto wrote:online shopping for convenience
Always loved trying on shoes online...oh wait...YOU CAN'T!!!!!!!!!

Idiots say, "oh just buy a couple of pairs online and send back the ones that don't fit". Durrr, I can do that in a shop and it doesn't cost a fortune or become a Royal pain in the bumhole to do so.


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Post by rick_dagless on Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:54 pm

DAVE667 wrote:Always loved trying on shoes online...oh wait...YOU CAN'T!!!!!!!!!

Idiots say, "oh just buy a couple of pairs online and send back the ones that don't fit". Durrr, I can do that in a shop and it doesn't cost a fortune or become a Royal pain in the bumhole to do so.

It would however remove some of the lazy fat chavs pushing their unholy brood around in ill fitting onesies, buying furry slippers so they can spend even more of their time rotting in their cake infested holes, whilst them staying at home and purchasing their special berw online would greatly enhance my shopping experience... Smile

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Post by Guest on Mon 20 Jan 2014, 1:14 pm

rick_dagless wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Always loved trying on shoes online...oh wait...YOU CAN'T!!!!!!!!!

Idiots say, "oh just buy a couple of pairs online and send back the ones that don't fit". Durrr, I can do that in a shop and it doesn't cost a fortune or become a Royal pain in the bumhole to do so.

It would however remove some of the lazy fat chavs pushing their unholy brood around in ill fitting onesies, buying furry slippers so they can spend even more of their time rotting in their cake infested holes, whilst them staying at home and purchasing their special berw online would greatly enhance my shopping experience... Smile
Oh Rick Rick Rick, don't you see them in their Sports Direct tracksuits and top of the line (or they were a few years before) trainers when the last thing they want to so is anything remotely approaching exercise. Remember that advert with Amir Khan wearing those ridiculous Reebok zigzag trainers? Saw a hippo of a bloke the other day smoking and eating a pasty looking ike he get more benefit out of those trainers if he ate them with a slice of bread as there was no way on God's green earth that he'd bought them to improve his all round performance at the gym.

It really annoys me when I'm looking for a decent pair of running shoes (simply can't afford £70+ a pair) but have to get what I can afford as opposed to what I'd like and these scumsuckers are buying three and four pairs a time

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Post by rick_dagless on Mon 20 Jan 2014, 1:30 pm

DAVE667 wrote:It really annoys me when I'm looking for a decent pair of running shoes (simply can't afford £70+ a pair) but have to get what I can afford as opposed to what I'd like and these scumsuckers are buying three and four pairs a time

What else are they goint to be spending the vast amounts of childcare/disability allowance on (barring their children/ disability rehabilitation) though maybe if they cut back on the twelfth steak bake of the morn, and splashed out on some shampoo then probably all for the best...


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Post by TopHat24/7 on Tue 21 Jan 2014, 9:21 am

Councils need to get off their high (green) horse over parking.

People go out of town (sucking the life out of town centres) because of the convenience. Because they've got 2-3 kids to ferry/look after therefore parking is important to them.

Stop putting silly planning restrictions on car parking provision in town centres and stop the ridiculous over-provision of disabled car parking spaces (lost count of the thousands of empty ones I've driven past to find a solitary normal space).

Make town centre shopping easier and people will begin to favour it again.

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