Suggestions on coping with a midlife crisis ?

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 12:13 pm

I've just realised I'm not going to live forever...

My Wife is more of a friend than a lover...

My eldest Son thinks I lack street cred...

My youngest is too young to beat on the Xbox..

and City lost to Barcelona 0 - 2..

Any suggestions ??

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Post by Duty281 on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 12:17 pm

Divorce your wife, run away and start a new life in....Paraguay?

New beginnings and all that.

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Post by TopHat24/7 on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 12:24 pm

Your American, so doesn't that mean getting a Harley?

Or a vette?

(my Uncle did the latter)

Sadly midlife crises aren't as cheap to indulge this side of the pond.

Don't worry about the Barca result, CL has always been harder to buy than the EPL. Though Demichelis has got to be one of the worst defenders I've ever seen at a top side, makes Laurent Blanc look fleet-footed!!

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Post by Galted on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 12:28 pm

I dream of having a midlife crisis, I've been coping with a no-life crisis for many years.
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Post by Guest on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 12:30 pm

Cheat on your wife with Duty (Duty, I'm trying my best to get you laid, fella), smash up the Xbox whilst off your face on acid or something. This will kill two birds with one stone as you'll no longer have you butt kicked on the Xbox and your son will think you're a proper rock star complete with drug taking and tantrums. Instant street cred!

...and support Liverpool...we may not win anything either but our Manager hasn't gone into meltdown.....yet!

Failing that, just buck your ideas up and stop being such a miserable bar steward. Look on the bright side...as bad as you think your life is....you could be STRONGBACK!

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Post by ShahenshahG on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 12:31 pm

Get some weed Trussy, weed cure all ills except dizziness and Hunger.

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Post by Stella on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 12:32 pm

You need a hobby, Truss.

Cake baking or something.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 12:55 pm

Do what (the hugely missed) Bob did when his wife left him.

He bought a new car, a new flat screen TV and

Bob wrote: a boat load of porn

That should see you right.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by superflyweight on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:05 pm

I like to think that Bob keeps meaning to post on here again, but is caught up in some kind of spiralling porn vortex where he thinks that only 10 minutes has passed, but it has really been 16 months.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:15 pm

superflyweight wrote:I like to think that Bob keeps meaning to post on here again, but is caught up in some kind of spiralling porn vortex where he thinks that only 10 minutes has passed, but it has really been 16 months.  

He was so funny.  I do miss him.

One minute he was talking about some obscure 1970's middleweight, and by the next post he had moved onto discussing b*kkake .

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Guest on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:18 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:I like to think that Bob keeps meaning to post on here again, but is caught up in some kind of spiralling porn vortex where he thinks that only 10 minutes has passed, but it has really been 16 months.  

He was so funny.  I do miss him.

One minute he was talking about some obscure 1970's middleweight, and by the next post he had moved onto discussing b*kkake .
Wasn't he that Japanese flyweight?

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Post by ONETWOFOREVER on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:20 pm

I am truely saddened to hear that my good friend is going through such a difficult moment in his life.

I am sorry for the incencitive response from fellow 606 members

Not sure what advice I can give you TRUSS except to NEVER forget who you are and what you are. Us Bostonians are made of stronger stuff. Mid life crisis? thats something the Brits invented as an excuse.

Keep your head up bro

but if it gets too much and you need a swift, painless exit from this world then I am the man to call.

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Post by Guest on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:21 pm

ONETWOFOREVER wrote:I am truely saddened to hear that my good friend is going through such a difficult moment in his life.

I am sorry for the incencitive response from fellow 606 members

Not sure what advice I can give you TRUSS except to NEVER forget who you are and what you are. Us Bostonians are made of stronger stuff. Mid life crisis? thats something the Brits invented as an excuse.

Keep your head up bro

but if it gets too much and you need a swift, painless exit from this world then I am the man to call.
What, does TRUSS call you, you talk to him for fifteen seconds then TRUSS shoots himself...in the face...twice...with a cannon?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:21 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:I like to think that Bob keeps meaning to post on here again, but is caught up in some kind of spiralling porn vortex where he thinks that only 10 minutes has passed, but it has really been 16 months.  

He was so funny.  I do miss him.

One minute he was talking about some obscure 1970's middleweight, and by the next post he had moved onto discussing b*kkake .
Wasn't he that Japanese flyweight?

Yeah that's the one. Didn't work the body much, preferred to concentrate on the face.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Galted on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:22 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:I like to think that Bob keeps meaning to post on here again, but is caught up in some kind of spiralling porn vortex where he thinks that only 10 minutes has passed, but it has really been 16 months.  

He was so funny.  I do miss him.

One minute he was talking about some obscure 1970's middleweight, and by the next post he had moved onto discussing b*kkake .

I had to look up bukake on Urban Dictionary.  This is what it said.

Def 1. The act of more than one man ejaculating onto a submisive woman's face.
Def 2. What happens to your hamburger at Wendy's
Def 3. How your mother met your father.
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Post by Guest on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:23 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:I like to think that Bob keeps meaning to post on here again, but is caught up in some kind of spiralling porn vortex where he thinks that only 10 minutes has passed, but it has really been 16 months.  

He was so funny.  I do miss him.

One minute he was talking about some obscure 1970's middleweight, and by the next post he had moved onto discussing b*kkake .
Wasn't he that Japanese flyweight?

Yeah that's the one.  Didn't work the body much, preferred to concentrate on the face.
His opponents used to say, "I was hit in the face so many times, it was like there were ten of them surrounding me."

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Post by TopHat24/7 on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:24 pm

Laugh 

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Post by Guest on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:26 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:I like to think that Bob keeps meaning to post on here again, but is caught up in some kind of spiralling porn vortex where he thinks that only 10 minutes has passed, but it has really been 16 months.  

He was so funny.  I do miss him.

One minute he was talking about some obscure 1970's middleweight, and by the next post he had moved onto discussing b*kkake .

I had to look up bukake on Urban Dictionary.  This is what it said.

Def 1. The act of more than one man ejaculating onto a submisive woman's face.
Def 2. What happens to your hamburger at Wendy's
Def 3. How your mother met your father.
Ah, that's where I'm some people are going wrong, they've always tended to be very angry and resistant...I hear

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Post by Lumbering_Jack on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 1:58 pm

Ask for a threesome?

I'm not old enough (or tragic enough for that matter) to have some sort of crisis but a threesome would make me feel better in almost any situation.

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Post by Lumbering_Jack on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 2:00 pm

Although on a serious note, surely most relationships end up in familiar patterns. It's never going to be as exciting as the first few months.

You could always bin her off and get a younger model, but you'd just end up in the same position in a few years.

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Post by Guest on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 2:03 pm

Lumbering_Jack wrote:Ask for a threesome?

I'm not old enough (or tragic enough for that matter) to have some sort of crisis but a threesome would make me feel better in almost any situation.
Word of advice, if you do, try not to arrange one with two women so emotionally insecure (yet adept at given the impression they're up for anything) that they spend much of the time whinging about the fact that one or the other has been the beneficiary of more of your attention than her mate and you end up having sex with two women whilst ensuring that your stopwatch accurately reflects just how long each one has had with you just to avoid a f*****g argument. Still amazes me that they didn't start comparing just how much Davey gravy each one had been gifted (and what a gift it was).

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Post by Guest on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 2:04 pm

Lumbering_Jack wrote:Although on a serious note, surely most relationships end up in familiar patterns. It's never going to be as exciting as the first few months.

You could always bin her off and get a younger model, but you'd just end up in the same position in a few years.
He'd still be ending up with someone in her mid fifties

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Post by dyrewolfe on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 2:25 pm

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:I've just realised I'm not going to live forever...

My Wife is more of a friend than a lover...

My eldest Son thinks I lack street cred...

My youngest is too young to beat on the Xbox..

and City lost to Barcelona 0 - 2..

Any suggestions ??


I'm probably repeating a few suggestions, but here's my 2 cents...


1. Buy a sportscar (Porsche, Ferrari, Jaguar, Aston Martin or similar)

2. Try to get off with the youngest, most attractive woman at your work place or local watering hole (or a neighbour's daughter).

3. Develop an alcohol and drug habit - preferably pot or cocaine (or both).

4. Form a band with some friends (note: try to make sure you're either the lead singer or guitarist).

5. Get arrested for speeding while drunk, off your face and being "pleasured" by your teenage mistress...


Good luck! Wink
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Post by Guest on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 2:30 pm

dyrewolfe wrote:
TRUSSMAN66 wrote:I've just realised I'm not going to live forever...

My Wife is more of a friend than a lover...

My eldest Son thinks I lack street cred...

My youngest is too young to beat on the Xbox..

and City lost to Barcelona 0 - 2..

Any suggestions ??


I'm probably repeating a few suggestions, but here's my 2 cents...


1. Buy a sportscar (Porsche, Ferrari, Jaguar, Aston Martin or similar)

2. Try to get off with the youngest, most attractive woman at your work place or local watering hole (or a neighbour's daughter).

3. Develop an alcohol and drug habit - preferably pot or cocaine (or both).

4. Form a band with some friends (note: try to make sure you're either the lead singer or guitarist).

5. Get arrested for speeding while drunk, off your face and being "pleasured" by your teenage mistress...


Good luck! Wink
He doesn't have any but that's no problem as TRUSS is a famed Meat trombone soloist

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Post by Duty281 on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 2:35 pm

DAVE667 wrote:Cheat on your wife with Duty (Duty, I'm trying my best to get you laid, fella)

Well....I'm game if Truss is, haha. Wink

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Post by dyrewolfe on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 2:38 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
dyrewolfe wrote:
TRUSSMAN66 wrote:I've just realised I'm not going to live forever...

My Wife is more of a friend than a lover...

My eldest Son thinks I lack street cred...

My youngest is too young to beat on the Xbox..

and City lost to Barcelona 0 - 2..

Any suggestions ??


I'm probably repeating a few suggestions, but here's my 2 cents...


1. Buy a sportscar (Porsche, Ferrari, Jaguar, Aston Martin or similar)

2. Try to get off with the youngest, most attractive woman at your work place or local watering hole (or a neighbour's daughter).

3. Develop an alcohol and drug habit - preferably pot or cocaine (or both).

4. Form a band with some friends (note: try to make sure you're either the lead singer or guitarist).

5. Get arrested for speeding while drunk, off your face and being "pleasured" by your teenage mistress...


Good luck! Wink
He doesn't have any but that's no problem as TRUSS is a famed Meat trombone soloist


Well...if he's into that kind of thing... Erm
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Post by Guest on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 2:47 pm

His wife's indifference towards him has made it inevitable

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Post by seanmichaels on Wed 19 Feb 2014, 3:24 pm

Citalopram.

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Fri 21 Feb 2014, 8:34 pm

The boat load of porn sounds like a good idea..

I'll get stuck in that vortex.... notworthy 

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Post by dyrewolfe on Mon 24 Feb 2014, 2:30 pm

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:The boat load of porn sounds like a good idea..

I'll get stuck in that vortex.... notworthy 


Or you could start directing your own movies...  Cool 








"...I'm ready for my close-up Mr Trussman..."  Suggestions on coping with a midlife crisis ? 3559488474 
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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Mon 24 Feb 2014, 4:31 pm

How do you look in a batman costume ??

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Post by The Fourth Lion on Thu 27 Feb 2014, 6:32 pm

Oh dear.  Mid Life Crisis.  Been there, done that.  Got the tee shirt.

The trouble is, a man going through a MLC is a sad, tired old juanca who becomes aware of this when nobody else has noticed.  He then attempts to make himself look young, cool and attractive to younger women and in doing so only succeeds in making everybody realise that he is, in fact, a sad, tired old juanca.

I bought a Fender Stratocaster which wasn't such a big deal as I could already play guitar and passed it off as a "bucket list" thing which I was only doing at that precise time  because by then I could afford to spend some money frivolously (as if buying a Strat is frivolous, but try telling that to the Me'm Sahib..!!).  Plausible deniability, though.  It's your only hope.

Take a tip.  If you feel a mid life crisis coming on, either a) drink yourself into oblivion for an entire weekend, b) masturbate until you can only shoot steam or c) get the box set of 24 and disappear into the television for as long as it takes you to come to your senses.  

A Mid Life Crisis, like puberty, will pass.  Just try not to let anybody else notice while you're going through it.

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES:

a.     Start trying to talk like, or relate to teenagers.

b.     Start wearing a baseball cap, letting your jeans drop low so your underwear shows or buy a guitar (unless you can already play one and have a plausible reason for doing so)

c.     Attempt to seduce your next door neighbour's daughter (or son, depending on taste / orientation).

A and B will make you look like a sad, tired old juanca and C is likely to get you arrested and even if you escape prosecution, word will spread and the next thing you know vigilantes will be putting dog excrement through your letter box and you won't dare leave the house.
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Post by kingraf on Sun 30 Mar 2014, 9:42 pm

My girlfriend's father went through a mid-life crisis for a about 18 months... He bought himself some weights, a pharmacy worth of 'roids, and later sold the family Fortuner for a nifty little number. He was always big, but he's become the second coming of Lou Ferrigno... Entered a few provincial, then national BodyBuilding contests, and finally snapped out of it. I think realising he'd spent a small fortune on winning a few plastic trophies, and some embarrassing images of him in a thong woke him up.
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