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The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

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Post by kingraf Tue 15 Jul 2014, 11:23 am

First topic message reminder :

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Insects, anyone?

Cooking tips?

Action netball?

I don't play action netball!!
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Post by Rowley Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:14 am

I am in tomorrow Tina. Just felt the conversation was stagnating a bit today, thought I would try and pep it up. Rick normally drops one of his quizzes on Friday so no need to worry about tomorrow.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:16 am

Rowley wrote:I am in tomorrow Tina. Just felt the conversation was stagnating a bit today, thought I would try and pep it up. Rick normally drops one of his quizzes on Friday so no need to worry about tomorrow.

Fair enough. I going oop North to collect the parents and then off on holiday Monday morning. Just in case you worry that I have died over the weekend.

What are you up to?

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Post by Rowley Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:17 am

Going to Tramlines in Sheffield Sunday, the one weekend a year Sheffield city centre is actually worth visiting.

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Post by Union Cane Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:18 am

I will mostly be playing golf at the weekend, I have a snazzy new shirt to try out, it is mainly smoke with flashes of heather.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:25 am

I saw flashes of Heather once, but that was all she let me see.

I will spend the weekend in the usual manner - pining for Tino. This weekend will be worse because he's going on holiday.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:26 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:I saw flashes of Heather once, but that was all she let me see.

I will spend the weekend in the usual manner - pining for Tino. This weekend will be worse because he's going on holiday.

You can come with me, if you like?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by ShahenshahG Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:28 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I saw flashes of Heather once, but that was all she let me see.

I will spend the weekend in the usual manner - pining for Tino. This weekend will be worse because he's going on holiday.

You can come with me, if you like?
He's not a homosexual. Plus your son hasnt signed your permission slip Tino.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:29 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I saw flashes of Heather once, but that was all she let me see.

I will spend the weekend in the usual manner - pining for Tino. This weekend will be worse because he's going on holiday.

You can come with me, if you like?
He's not a homosexula. Plus your son hasnt signed your permission slip Tino.

There was nothing gay about the offer.  Why would you assume that?

I am not Sean.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:30 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I saw flashes of Heather once, but that was all she let me see.

I will spend the weekend in the usual manner - pining for Tino. This weekend will be worse because he's going on holiday.

You can come with me, if you like?

No thanks. With you away I'll be able to spend more time with Galted's missus.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:37 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I saw flashes of Heather once, but that was all she let me see.

I will spend the weekend in the usual manner - pining for Tino. This weekend will be worse because he's going on holiday.

You can come with me, if you like?

No thanks. With you away I'll be able to spend more time with Galted's missus.

I am no longer in bed with her.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by superflyweight Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:45 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:I'm also ashamed that you're half Scottish, Tina.  

Where did it all go wrong, Super?

You and I used to be such good friends.  Now there is nothing but animosity and hatred.

An empty void that I have filled with Julius and you have filled with trying to goad Strongback.

"Ashamed" was a term of endearment. As was "sp@stic".

I'll never stop goading Strongy though. Never!

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:46 am

Will be off the radar today, I have a team building session from 10 - 3pm.
We're both good in our own fields. I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage a successful paper merchants. I couldn't do what-, well, I could do what they do, and I think they knew that, even back then. Probably what spurred them on.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:46 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I saw flashes of Heather once, but that was all she let me see.

I will spend the weekend in the usual manner - pining for Tino. This weekend will be worse because he's going on holiday.

You can come with me, if you like?

No thanks. With you away I'll be able to spend more time with Galted's missus.

I am no longer in bed with her.

I am.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:48 am

superflyweight wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:I'm also ashamed that you're half Scottish, Tina.  

Where did it all go wrong, Super?

You and I used to be such good friends.  Now there is nothing but animosity and hatred.

An empty void that I have filled with Julius and you have filled with trying to goad Strongback.

"Ashamed" was a term of endearment.  As was "sp@stic".  

I'll never stop goading Strongy though.  Never!

Ok, that's made me feel all warm inside. I will retract the fat Scottish m*ng comment.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by superflyweight Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:51 am

seanmichaels wrote:Will be off the radar today, I have a team building session from 10 - 3pm.
We're both good in our own fields. I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage a successful paper merchants. I couldn't do what-, well, I could do what they do, and I think they knew that, even back then. Probably what spurred them on.

Maybe you could bring things you have learnt from your cricket team and suggest touching each other's privates as a morale booster.

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Post by Rowley Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:25 am

superflyweight wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Will be off the radar today, I have a team building session from 10 - 3pm.
We're both good in our own fields. I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage a successful paper merchants. I couldn't do what-, well, I could do what they do, and I think they knew that, even back then. Probably what spurred them on.

Maybe you could bring things you have learnt from your cricket team and suggest touching each other's privates as a morale booster.

Cricket, school, it really is any excuse for Sean isn't it?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:33 am

666. Someone post something, quickly.

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Post by Rowley Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:36 am

Will do.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:37 am

Bravo.

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Post by superflyweight Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:40 am

Mind the windows Tino.Tino
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Corrected.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:44 am

superflyweight wrote:
Posts: 2920
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Location: Whipping my own mum's mimsy

Corrected.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:45 am

Just realised I have gone through 11,000 posts.

Congratulations to me.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:47 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:
Posts: 2920
Join date: 2011-01-26
Location: Whipping my own mimsy

Corrected.

Corrected again.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:48 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Just realised I have gone through 11,000 posts.

Congratulations to me.

And to think I reached 10000 before you, and now here I am lagging over 300 posts behind.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:51 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Just realised I have gone through 11,000 posts.

Congratulations to me.

And to think I reached 10000 before you, and now here I am lagging over 300 posts behind.

You'll have two weeks to catch up, Jules. Is there a tennis grand slam in the next two weeks? That should get your count up.

And your heart rate.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Union Cane Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:06 am

11,000 - Congratulations old boy.

Just had a Michaelsesque lavatory moment.

I was standing there having a wee, and I felt a bit of movement in the inner arse area and a trump quickly presented itself at the departure gate. I immediately sensed that it was going to be a loud one (not ideal - thin walls), so I quickly clenched to keep it in there. This clenching unfortunately resulted in a more powerful stream at the front, and I misjudged the alteration of angle required to keep the stream in the pan. Realising that I was Wee weeing onto the back of the toilet rather than into it I quickly halted the flow, however this then released the aforementioned guff, which started to come out with a high pitched squeak. I instinctively relaxed everything, allowing the remainder out with nothing more than a quiet whoosh, however this relaxation restarted the urinary output, which, what with me having lowered the hose somewhat, went on my shoe.

Took some cleaning up, that lot.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:08 am

I always thought that a "Michaelsesque lavatory moment" involved one of the senior boys.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:09 am

Union Cane wrote:11,000 - Congratulations old boy.

Just had a Michaelsesque lavatory moment.

I was standing there having a wee, and I felt a bit of movement in the inner arse area and a trump quickly presented itself at the departure gate. I immediately sensed that it was going to be a loud one (not ideal - thin walls), so I quickly clenched to keep it in there. This clenching unfortunately resulted in a more powerful stream at the front, and I misjudged the alteration of angle required to keep the stream in the pan. Realising that I was Wee weeing onto the back of the toilet rather than into it I quickly halted the flow, however this then released the aforementioned guff, which started to come out with a high pitched squeak. I instinctively relaxed everything, allowing the remainder out with nothing more than a quiet whoosh, however this relaxation restarted the urinary output, which, what with me having lowered the hose somewhat, went on my shoe.

Took some cleaning up, that lot.

 Laugh 

Now that's a proper toilet discussion.

Better than micheals "I just did a sh*t in the ground floor bogs" efforts.

Has your shoe become discoloured?

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Post by Union Cane Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:14 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Has your shoe become discoloured?  

Nope, nice and shiny again now.

(Whilst wiping I did notice that I still had some of that more than likely a herring sea gull but I'm not entirely certain sh1t from the other day caked in the stitching.)


Last edited by Union Cane on Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:20 am; edited 4 times in total (Reason for editing : Mind the windows Bill fucking Oddie)
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:17 am

Union Cane wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Has your shoe become discoloured?  

Nope, nice and shiny again now.

(Whilst wiping I did notice that I still had some of that seagull sh1t from the other day caked in the stitching.)

No such thing as a seagull.

Technically.

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Post by Pal Joey Thu 24 Jul 2014, 12:01 pm

Union Cane wrote:11,000 - Congratulations old boy.

Just had a Michaelsesque lavatory moment.

I was standing there having a wee, and I felt a bit of movement in the inner arse area and a trump quickly presented itself at the departure gate. I immediately sensed that it was going to be a loud one (not ideal - thin walls), so I quickly clenched to keep it in there. This clenching unfortunately resulted in a more powerful stream at the front, and I misjudged the alteration of angle required to keep the stream in the pan. Realising that I was Wee weeing onto the back of the toilet rather than into it I quickly halted the flow, however this then released the aforementioned guff, which started to come out with a high pitched squeak. I instinctively relaxed everything, allowing the remainder out with nothing more than a quiet whoosh, however this relaxation restarted the urinary output, which, what with me having lowered the hose somewhat, went on my shoe.

Took some cleaning up, that lot.

 Laugh 

For a moment I thought you were going to say you lasered the junction between the top of the bowl and the underside of the lid - immediately after the clenching but just prior to the urinal deceleration.

Reminds me of when I'm lazy at night. Sometimes I don't even switch on the light and just go purely by the sound of where I think the bowl is.

As I'm waiting for that comforting sound of urine on porcelain you can imagine how disturbing it is sometimes to hear the pitter-patter sound of the flow hitting the tissue paper on the toilet roll. Or sometimes it's a bit like rain on glass as I inadvertently hose down the side of the shower screen.

It usually smells like a London Underground Men's Room in 1913 (just before the Great War) when I happen to chance upon the bathroom the next morning.

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Post by Pal Joey Thu 24 Jul 2014, 12:10 pm

Actually just checked - it's not porcelain at all.

It says "J12 - Pacific Special - High Density Vitreous China". I think it dates from the late 1920s.

I've specified "Caroma - Opal Smart Flush VC" for the new ones.
Can't wait for my first serious bog in about October (I'd say) but hopefully a few weeks earlier if the builders get a move on.

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Post by superflyweight Thu 24 Jul 2014, 12:38 pm

This thread is going down the pan.

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Post by Pal Joey Thu 24 Jul 2014, 12:40 pm

Yeah, counter clockwise down here.

Glasgow has never looked so beautiful.

Nice to see the short sleeved shirts out on the triathlon. Look... there's a lime coloured one.  

And put some pants on girl!
(Actually no. Stay as you are)

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Post by superflyweight Thu 24 Jul 2014, 12:45 pm

Linebreaker wrote:Yeah, counter clockwise down here.

Glasgow has never looked so beautiful.

Nice to see the short sleeved shirts out on the triathlon. Look... there's a lime coloured one.  

And put some pants on girl!
(Actually no. Stay as you are)

It's amazing to see Glasgow in glorious technicolour. When I lived there visibility tended to be restricted due to the horizontal rain hammering into my eyes.

Would still like to see some footage of unsuspecting tourists walking to Celtic Park through the "colourful" Gallowgate?

"Mummy, why is that man eating his own vomit?"

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 12:47 pm

Linebreaker wrote:Yeah, counter clockwise down here.

Glasgow has never looked so beautiful.

Nice to see the short sleeved shirts out on the triathlon. Look... there's a lime coloured one.  

And put some pants on girl!
(Actually no. Stay as you are)

We are all focused on the girl from NZ (Samuels, following Moffett, the Aussie). She is about to have an inadvertent thong slip if those bottoms keep riding up.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Union Cane Thu 24 Jul 2014, 12:58 pm

Busy then?
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:00 pm

Union Cane wrote:Busy then?

Always. Must make time for female bottoms though.

We just won. Gold medal to the English lass, Stimpson.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Union Cane Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:24 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Union Cane wrote:Busy then?

Always.  Must make time for female bottoms though.

We just won.  Gold medal to the English lass, Stimpson.

Female athletes have bottoms like little boys though. Perhaps that is your thing, but it ain't mine. Although there was that Greek pole-vaulter who was quite spectacularly endowed in the arse department. I forget her name, I'll try to look her up.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:26 pm

Is beach volleyball in the Commonwealth Games?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:27 pm

Union Cane wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Union Cane wrote:Busy then?

Always.  Must make time for female bottoms though.

We just won.  Gold medal to the English lass, Stimpson.

Female athletes have bottoms like little boys though. Perhaps that is your thing, but it ain't mine. Although there was that Greek pole-vaulter who was quite spectacularly endowed in the arse department. I forget her name, I'll try to look her up.


Not all of them. Some of those triathletes have lovely round bottoms.

Are you suggesting that I like female bottoms that look like little boy bottoms, or are you suggesting I like little boys bottoms?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:29 pm

Union wrote:Greek pole-vaulter

You could men Isinbeyeva (not the correct spelling) who was a Russian pole vaulter with a superb rear...

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Post by Union Cane Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:30 pm

rick_dagless wrote:
Union wrote:Greek pole-vaulter

You could men Isinbeyeva (not the correct spelling) who was a Russian pole vaulter with a superb rear...

Erika Prezerakou.

Spoiler:

Wowzers.
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Post by Union Cane Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:31 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Are you suggesting that I like female bottoms that look like little boy bottoms, or are you suggesting I like little boys bottoms?  

The former.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:32 pm

Union Cane wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Union wrote:Greek pole-vaulter

You could men Isinbeyeva (not the correct spelling) who was a Russian pole vaulter with a superb rear...

Erika Prezerakou.

Spoiler:

Wowzers.

Good lord.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:33 pm

Fair enough Union...

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Post by Union Cane Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:35 pm

http://www.paperblog.fr/2301151/les-fesses-incroyables-d-erika-prezerakou/

This is in French but there are lots of pictures.
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Post by Pal Joey Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:38 pm

Some of the Jamaican track athletes have great hampton recliners.

Not that I've ever tried one out. Need to get out of this bubble.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:39 pm

Union Cane wrote:http://www.paperblog.fr/2301151/les-fesses-incroyables-d-erika-prezerakou/

This is in French but there are lots of pictures.

I love the fact you felt the need to tell us what language this site was in.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Pal Joey Thu 24 Jul 2014, 1:41 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Union Cane wrote:http://www.paperblog.fr/2301151/les-fesses-incroyables-d-erika-prezerakou/

This is in French but there are lots of pictures.

I love the fact you felt the need to tell us what language this site was in.

I didn't know you spoke French, Union. Those snaps need no translating however.

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