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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by Union Cane Mon 23 Mar 2015, 2:01 pm

First topic message reminder :

Rowley wrote:Got about 15 films for less than 40 quid so thought if I only like half of them it represents decent value. Unfortunately N by NW is not one of them, which is a pity as I have seen that and enjoyed it

Does it include that one with the birds, I forget what it is called.
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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 10:15 am

Laugh

Soft c0cks.

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Post by ShahenshahG Mon 30 Mar 2015, 10:20 am

seanmichaels wrote:Laugh

Soft c0cks.

Aye only the hardest c0cks will do for you

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 30 Mar 2015, 10:23 am

seanmichaels wrote:Laugh

Soft c0cks.

It was cold, windy and howling down with rain as well. I had my eye on a searing midfield line break which would have involved beating two defenders with a swerve and a killer sidestep before touching down under the posts.

But the ball was wet and I knocked it on.

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 10:30 am

Bloody windy yesterday as well. Missus text me last night and said her flight to Berlin had landed 30 mins early (on a 2/3 hr flight). Apparently with the tailwind plane was flying at 600mph.

How was Wembley? Would love to know what Ashton did wrong to be out in the cold like he is.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 30 Mar 2015, 10:37 am

seanmichaels wrote:Bloody windy yesterday as well. Missus text me last night and said her flight to Berlin had landed 30 mins early (on a 2/3 hr flight). Apparently with the tailwind plane was flying at 600mph.

How was Wembley? Would love to know what Ashton did wrong to be out in the cold like he is.

More time for her to sample some German sausage.

It was good, thanks. Decent enough game (certainly better than yesterday's Dads effort) and the weather just about held off. Pixie Lott did some songs before hand. She is a rather attractive young lady.

Ashton is a hell of a finisher, that's for sure. I think it's probably an attitude thing but that is a complete guess.

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 10:43 am

I watched the highlights package on ITV4.

Fear for George North. His whiskers look in worse nick than those of the shot Hatton.

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 10:57 am

Good place to holiday in april / early may? needs to be hot and flights no more than £600.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:03 am

seanmichaels wrote:Good place to holiday in april / early may? needs to be hot and flights no more than £600.

Syria.

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Post by Rowley Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:17 am

Morning all, bloody IT at work, for some convoluted reason way beyond my comprehension we don't have broadband, as such until it is sorted boss has pretty much said he will stab anyone who uses the Internet for non work stuff.

Seems ridiculously unfair, I can't be expected to work, not all day anyway.

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Post by ShahenshahG Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:18 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Good place to holiday in april / early may? needs to be hot and flights no more than £600.

Syria.

Damn it man, don't you think they've suffered enough?!

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Post by ShahenshahG Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:20 am

Rowley wrote:Morning all, bloody IT at work, for some convoluted reason way beyond my comprehension we don't have broadband, as such until it is sorted boss has pretty much said he will stab anyone who uses the Internet for non work stuff.

Seems ridiculously unfair, I can't be expected to work, not all day anyway.

It seems the company whippets are out of shape, take the bastards to task for not bringing the internet to your office fast enough.

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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:21 am

seanmichaels wrote:We had a BBC journo (culture) staying over on Friday night. I'd been having a few beers at the club and ended up a bit worse for wear when I got in (around 7.30ish). Thought I'd break the ice with a clarkson quip. Went down like a sack of _____. Hammered a bottle of wine over dinner and she pretty much refused to speak to me after that.
Who would have thought that being a drunken liar and repressed homosexual who suffers night terrors and dorm-related bumming flashbacks would have trouble getting a woman to have sex with him

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:25 am

Already told her middle east ruled out. Canaries decent first week in May?

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:25 am

DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:We had a BBC journo (culture) staying over on Friday night. I'd been having a few beers at the club and ended up a bit worse for wear when I got in (around 7.30ish). Thought I'd break the ice with a clarkson quip. Went down like a sack of _____. Hammered a bottle of wine over dinner and she pretty much refused to speak to me after that.
Who would have thought that being a drunken liar and repressed homosexual who suffers night terrors and dorm-related bumming flashbacks would have trouble getting a woman to have sex with him

I didn't want to nob her.

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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:26 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
Rowley wrote:Morning all, bloody IT at work, for some convoluted reason way beyond my comprehension we don't have broadband, as such until it is sorted boss has pretty much said he will stab anyone who uses the Internet for non work stuff.

Seems ridiculously unfair, I can't be expected to work, not all day anyway.

It seems the company whippets are out of shape, take the bastards to task for not bringing the internet to your office fast enough.
Call his bluff. Worse comes to the worst and you do get stabbed, it means less jazz/manbag/radox related posts on here for us to suffer. Even if you get sacked, simply knowing international playboy Seanmichaels via the internet will be enough to secure entry to the most fabulous venues and "ladies love areas" in a the World

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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:28 am

seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:We had a BBC journo (culture) staying over on Friday night. I'd been having a few beers at the club and ended up a bit worse for wear when I got in (around 7.30ish). Thought I'd break the ice with a clarkson quip. Went down like a sack of _____. Hammered a bottle of wine over dinner and she pretty much refused to speak to me after that.
Who would have thought that being a drunken liar and repressed homosexual who suffers night terrors and dorm-related bumming flashbacks would have trouble getting a woman to have sex with him

I didn't want to nob her.
I find that almost impossible to believe...you'd stick your nob in a Venus flytrap cos you thought it was winking at you

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Post by ShahenshahG Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:31 am

DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:We had a BBC journo (culture) staying over on Friday night. I'd been having a few beers at the club and ended up a bit worse for wear when I got in (around 7.30ish). Thought I'd break the ice with a clarkson quip. Went down like a sack of _____. Hammered a bottle of wine over dinner and she pretty much refused to speak to me after that.
Who would have thought that being a drunken liar and repressed homosexual who suffers night terrors and dorm-related bumming flashbacks would have trouble getting a woman to have sex with him

I think the worst part was when he asked her why have you got the arshe? She responded by throwing an empty can of beer into his arse and sneering at him during the 20 minute wait for it to hit the ground

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:38 am

DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:

I didn't want to nob her.
I find that almost impossible to believe...you'd stick your nob in a Venus flytrap cos you thought it was winking at you

She was probably more interested in my missus. Strikes me as a feminist.

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Post by ShahenshahG Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:45 am

seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:

I didn't want to nob her.
I find that almost impossible to believe...you'd stick your nob in a Venus flytrap cos you thought it was winking at you

She was probably more interested in my missus. Strikes me as a feminist.

Girl Opts-Out Seans Proposition Ergo, Lesbian

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:47 am

To be honest, if I split up, I'd probably not get back with another woman. Life easier without them. Save the money from flowers xmas/birthday presents etc and put it towards a paid for nobbing once a month. Much easier life.

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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 11:51 am

Girls Only Sean's Penile Entry Laughable

Again, sounds ludicrous as no woman could resist Sean's animal magnetism. Sounds like a made up story given that Sean didn't get any.

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Post by Union Cane Mon 30 Mar 2015, 12:24 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Canaries decent first week in May?

At home to Fulham, could be crucial given how tight it is at the top.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 30 Mar 2015, 12:47 pm

Union Cane wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Canaries decent first week in May?

At home to Fulham, could be crucial given how tight it is at the top.

Football joke.

lol.

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Post by Union Cane Mon 30 Mar 2015, 12:54 pm

Well I thought it was funny.
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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 1:06 pm

i guffawed.

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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 1:12 pm

I'll assumed that some sort of term relating to sexual activity with a lady

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 1:19 pm

Inbred.

1. noun
noun: guffaw; plural noun: guffaws
1. 1.
a loud and hearty laugh.
synonyms: hearty laugh, loud laugh, roar of laughter, hoot of laughter, shriek of laughter, peal of laughter, belly laugh
"his joke brought a great guffaw from the youth"
verb
verb: guffaw; 3rd person present: guffaws; past tense: guffawed; past participle: guffawed; gerund or present participle: guffawing
2. 1.
laugh loudly and heartily.
"both men guffawed at the remark"


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Post by JuliusHMarx Mon 30 Mar 2015, 1:26 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Already told her middle east ruled out. Canaries decent first week in May?

They might be - they're 4th in the table at the moment, looking to clinch an automatic promotion place.

Edit - Phuck, I really ought to read other people's posts first.


Last edited by JuliusHMarx on Mon 30 Mar 2015, 1:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 30 Mar 2015, 1:27 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Already told her middle east ruled out. Canaries decent first week in May?

They might be - they're 4th in the table at the moment, looking to clinch an automatic promotion place.

Football joke.

lol

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Post by JuliusHMarx Mon 30 Mar 2015, 1:28 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Already told her middle east ruled out. Canaries decent first week in May?

They might be - they're 4th in the table at the moment, looking to clinch an automatic promotion place.

Football joke.

lol

Whatever. Nice badge.

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Post by superflyweight Mon 30 Mar 2015, 1:29 pm

Guffaw.

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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 1:31 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Inbred.

1. noun
noun: guffaw; plural noun: guffaws
1. 1.
a loud and hearty laugh.
synonyms: hearty laugh, loud laugh, roar of laughter, hoot of laughter, shriek of laughter, peal of laughter, belly laugh
"his joke brought a great guffaw from the youth"
verb
verb: guffaw; 3rd person present: guffaws; past tense: guffawed; past participle: guffawed; gerund or present participle: guffawing
2. 1.
laugh loudly and heartily.
"both men guffawed at the remark"

special, I know full well what a guffaw is, I do it regularly when reading your posts about how many birds you've f*cked

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 2:12 pm

Div

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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 2:58 pm

twunt

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:22 pm

Is this what we are reduced to? Petty name calling?

Grow up you pair of c*nts.

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Post by Union Cane Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:28 pm

Pisspoor round here recently.

I have a Steve Ovett anecdote that might liven things up.
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Post by Galted Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:31 pm

Wouldn't bother, Union.

My excellent music anecdote was rudely ignored.

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:31 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Is this what we are reduced to?  Petty name calling?

Grow up you pair of c*nts.

boobie

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Post by JuliusHMarx Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:32 pm

Go on Union, it's about time we had a decent anecdote around here.

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Post by Union Cane Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:32 pm

Galted wrote:My excellent music anecdote was rudely ignored.

Which one was that?
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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:32 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Is this what we are reduced to?  Petty name calling?

Grow up you pair of c*nts.
Queef sniffer

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:32 pm

why not restart the culture cup? or a round of sheep or two?

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Post by seanmichaels Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:33 pm

On an athletics theme, I once unlocked our pavilion so Roger Black could have a lash.

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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:33 pm

Union Cane wrote:
Galted wrote:My excellent music anecdote was rudely ignored.

Which one was that?
I would have commented on it's excellence but it was about someone laughing at metalheads so f*ck Galted and his stupid stories

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:35 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Why did you take so long to share that Tina? It's a belter

Forgot about it.

And a bit intimidated by supers made up one and your Boyzone beauty.

I've got a music anecdote as well.

The brother of one of my schoolmates was in a band, they sang DEATH METAL songs.  He was playing their CD for me and a few mates and I asked him if he'd tape it for me, thinking he'd get a bit snotty about how I should buy it because they were just starting up, piracy is killing music etc.  I was quite surprised when he agreed to tape it without any hesitation and I admitted that I didn't really want it and was only winding him up.  He was crestfallen but his mother thought that it was phucking funny.

LOL. LOL out loud. F*cking PMSLOL'ing.

Yay!
Gay!

L******LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

Mind the windows Tino.
Beano
Beano

Posts : 20934
Join date : 2011-05-13
Location : Your knuckles whiten on the wheel. The last thing that Julius will feel, your final flight can't be delayed. No earth just sky it's so serene, your pink fat lips let go a scream. You fry and melt, I love the scene.

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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:37 pm

Fell at work's daughter texted him last week to say someone famous was coming to visit as he was Godfather to their Maths/Geography teacher's kid (or vice versa or thereabouts). She then ruined it by asking her dad who John Barnes was. He texted her back asking he to get me his autograph, she replied saying that he'd already left but that she got her photo taken with him.

Great story...scores top marks as it ends with me being upset

Guest
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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:39 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Why did you take so long to share that Tina? It's a belter

Forgot about it.

And a bit intimidated by supers made up one and your Boyzone beauty.

I've got a music anecdote as well.

The brother of one of my schoolmates was in a band, they sang DEATH METAL songs.  He was playing their CD for me and a few mates and I asked him if he'd tape it for me, thinking he'd get a bit snotty about how I should buy it because they were just starting up, piracy is killing music etc.  I was quite surprised when he agreed to tape it without any hesitation and I admitted that I didn't really want it and was only winding him up.  He was crestfallen but his mother thought that it was phucking funny.

LOL.  LOL out loud.  F*cking PMSLOL'ing.

Yay!
Gay!

L******LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
That's the one with an added "F*CK YOU Tina" for good measure

Guest
Guest


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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:41 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Why did you take so long to share that Tina? It's a belter

Forgot about it.

And a bit intimidated by supers made up one and your Boyzone beauty.

I've got a music anecdote as well.

The brother of one of my schoolmates was in a band, they sang DEATH METAL songs.  He was playing their CD for me and a few mates and I asked him if he'd tape it for me, thinking he'd get a bit snotty about how I should buy it because they were just starting up, piracy is killing music etc.  I was quite surprised when he agreed to tape it without any hesitation and I admitted that I didn't really want it and was only winding him up.  He was crestfallen but his mother thought that it was phucking funny.

LOL.  LOL out loud.  F*cking PMSLOL'ing.

Yay!
Gay!

L******LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
That's the one with an added "F*CK YOU Tina" for good measure

It's "f*ck you TINA".

Oh, and f*ck you DAVE.

Mind the windows Tino.
Beano
Beano

Posts : 20934
Join date : 2011-05-13
Location : Your knuckles whiten on the wheel. The last thing that Julius will feel, your final flight can't be delayed. No earth just sky it's so serene, your pink fat lips let go a scream. You fry and melt, I love the scene.

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Post by Union Cane Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:43 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Go on Union, it's about time we had a decent anecdote around here.

Once, when I was younger, I went somewhere, can't remember where it was or why I went but it was outside and it was raining. Steve Ovett was there and I got his autograph. I don't have it any more, I don't know what happened to it. I remember him being very tall.

Zin. Ger.
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Join date : 2011-01-27
Age : 48
Location : Whatever truculent means, if that's good, I'm that.

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Post by Guest Mon 30 Mar 2015, 3:46 pm

Union Cane wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:Go on Union, it's about time we had a decent anecdote around here.

Once, when I was younger, I went somewhere, can't remember where it was or why I went but it was outside and it was raining. Steve Ovett was there and I got his autograph. I don't have it any more, I don't know what happened to it. I remember him being very tall.

Zin. Ger.
I bunked off school to get Steve Davis's autograph. Thought he would look up and recognize the great snooker potential in me and immediately turn to Barry Hearn who was also there and say "Bazza, take this lad under your wing immediately. Don't let this talent go to waste"....he didn't he just slid his autograph across the table and said, "Cheers mate"

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