Another Drive4show 'Anything goes' thread

by McLaren Fri Mar 06, 2015 11:20 pm

First topic message reminder :

Super

I saw the first two sets and a bit, then went out to get dinner. Wish I had stuck around to watch it.

by I'm never wrong Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:56 pm

The proper way to call someone a ba*&%rd

A man was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him.
The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first few holes.

The second bloke said, "We're evenly matched, how about playing for a fiver a hole.

The first man said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

The second man won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off number eighteen, the second man was busy counting his £80. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighbouring course and liked to pick on suckers.

The first fellow revealed that he was the local vicar.

The Pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.

The vicar said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The vicar said, "Well, you could come to Morning Service on Sunday and make a donation when the collection plate comes round.

And, if you want to bring your Mother and Father along, I'll marry them”.

by Be_the_ball Tue Aug 25, 2015 1:30 pm

“What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter”

“Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas”

“The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves”

“If you don't know what introspection is you need to take a long, hard look at yourself”

“I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one to one time”

“Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman. It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't”

“I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free”

by SmithersJones Tue Aug 25, 2015 1:51 pm

Can't believe that last one won the prize for the funniest joke at the Fringe. It's not even the best of your selection, never mind the entire festival.

by I'm never wrong Tue Aug 25, 2015 2:21 pm

I thought this joke by Ian Smith that didn't make the shortlist was the funniest. "If you don't know what introspection is you need to take a long, hard look at yourself"

But maybe that's me.

by McLaren Wed Aug 26, 2015 2:48 pm

Oh say can you see by the dawn's early light...

Apparently you can see just enough to shoot a news crew live on air.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-34062118

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? picard

by super_realist Wed Aug 26, 2015 3:00 pm

Crikey, and predictably the response from America will be "We need more guns"

by I'm never wrong Wed Aug 26, 2015 3:38 pm

super_realist wrote:Crikey, and predictably the response from America will be "We need more guns"

I am a member of a photography forum and this issue was raised. The originating posting was about a home invasion - as Americans describe it - and one resident opened fire and killed the invader. The debate about this ran to 22 pages of the forum.

Edit - There has just been further post in relation to the post about the guns. It refers to the Bridgewater incident. It is entitled 1st amendment vs 2nd amendment. 2nd amendment wins.

by super_realist Wed Aug 26, 2015 3:45 pm

If you ever want to see a great comedy act in regards to the stupidity of American gun law you should watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBOk1SnQ8uU

by McLaren Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:06 pm

Super

Not usually a Jefferies fan but that is pretty good, and I especially like that he did it for an American audience. Sadly he was being generous when he said only 10% of americans would be really incredulous about the points he was making.

I am not sure any nation holds itself to a 300 year old constitution in a more moronic manner.

by super_realist Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:09 pm

You should watch his religion one too Mac.

by SmithersJones Wed Aug 26, 2015 10:12 pm

I love the bit about how they cling onto the amendment as though it can't be altered - don't you know what amendment means?

by pedro Wed Aug 26, 2015 11:15 pm

Boston is a benign place for him. Otherwise I'm sure he would've been shot on the way out.

by lorus59 Thu Aug 27, 2015 1:35 pm

Do you guys have an opinion on the whole Justin Gatlin vilification? Is it justified or should the BBC be more objective?

by super_realist Thu Aug 27, 2015 1:46 pm

I think the BBC is spot on.

Gatlin has a right to run, but he cannot expect to be respected or liked. His manager sounds a complete plank.

by golfermartin Thu Aug 27, 2015 1:50 pm

Justified - the guy cheated was found out, had a second chance and cheated again! The drugs bans in athletics are pathetic. If you were a young 17 year old just starting out, you would be stupid not to stuff yourself full of drugs, gain the benefits then serve a two year ban when caught, come back at 19 in peak condition ready to win medals.. A two year ban is nothing.

by beninho Thu Aug 27, 2015 1:50 pm

Gaitlin is a plank.

Still sticks with his claim, that he failed his last doping test, because a bitter masseuse rubbed steroid cream into his bum. He should have fessed up, like Gay, and taken the consequences.

by McLaren Thu Aug 27, 2015 1:52 pm

I have an issue with what people thin objective reporting is. It isn't presenting both sides as equal but presenting the best evidence available.

In this case the evidence is that Gatlin has taken PED's and a valid argument exists that he shouldn't be allowed back.

by westisbest Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:07 pm

Whats the difference between in laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

Thought that was amusing as a recently married man.

by SmithersJones Fri Aug 28, 2015 11:13 am

It's amazing how little activity there is on here when Kwini's away!

by Be_the_ball Sun Aug 30, 2015 1:39 pm

I have to agree with Tony Blair on Jeremy Corbyn, if Labour move away from a center left model, They will be unelectable. Jeremy Corbyn is the Conservatives dream Labour leader.

by MustPuttBetter Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:08 pm

Should politics be about

a) putting yourself out there as a party, stating your fundamental beliefs and seeing if the populace agree with them, or

b) trying to work out what the populace want and moulding your 'beliefs' to suite that with view to becoming what you perceive to be most electable?

by Be_the_ball Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:29 pm

MustPuttBetter wrote:Should politics be about

a) putting yourself out there as a party, stating your fundamental beliefs and seeing if the populace agree with them, or

b) trying to work out what the populace want and moulding your 'beliefs' to suite that with view to becoming what you perceive to be most electable?

In my view always A.

But what im saying is the Labour party are choosing a leader, but with that they are also choosing a direction. Corbyn is without argument further left than center left. And its no good being far left if you never get elected. The Labour members are being pushed further left by austerity imo, but that will only serve to alienate center left voters as they will fear Union power, higher taxes etc. Its playing into Tory hands. I just think a center left Labour party would serve the interests of the majority better.

by MustPuttBetter Sun Aug 30, 2015 9:38 pm

Fair point BTB

I feel like politics is too much like a popularity contest these days.
- what wins votes? Ok, say that's us then...

I've no doubt you're right re Corbyn but it's quite refreshing to see someone out there saying 'this is what I think. Might not be popular but if you agree vote for me'

by pedro Sun Aug 30, 2015 11:11 pm

A party's fundamental politics shouldn't be determined by it's leader. In other countries you'd have another party. Very often parties split up or somebody breaks out. Why not in the UK? The entire center-left would stand stronger with a credible Labour supported by an independent (break-away) leftist party.

by Be_the_ball Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:16 am

The thing is Pedro, if the Labour party split that will split the Labour vote also. The SNP have already split the Labour vote so that would in effect be a three way split. Again a Tory dream. I think the Union influence in the Labour party have had their shout with Red Ed, time to see sense and come back to a more central leader with more central policies.

by McLaren Mon Aug 31, 2015 3:46 pm

On a scale of zero to bat sh!t, how crazy has the transfer market gone when an unknown french teenager who probably has more fingers than goals, costs Man Utd £36 million!

by super_realist Mon Aug 31, 2015 3:50 pm

Mac, If he was English, he'd probably be £70m. THink how much City paid for that mincer from Liverpool.

by McLaren Mon Aug 31, 2015 3:54 pm

You are aware that "mincer" is a homophobic term?

by westisbest Mon Aug 31, 2015 3:55 pm

McLaren wrote:On a scale of zero to bat sh!t, how crazy has the transfer market gone when an unknown french teenager who probably has more fingers than goals, costs Man Utd £36 million!

More fingers than goals.

Good one, that cracked me up.

Ah transfer deadline day.
A highlight of the season.

by super_realist Mon Aug 31, 2015 3:56 pm

It's also a descriptive term. He minces when he runs, not my fault if your vocabulary only knows one description of the word.

by SmithersJones Mon Aug 31, 2015 9:28 pm

Labour are unelectable in their current/most recent form. The last election showed that quite clearly. I'd rather the labour party was an ideological alternative than a fashion statement, red instead of blue.

by MustPuttBetter Mon Aug 31, 2015 10:02 pm

westisbest wrote:
McLaren wrote:On a scale of zero to bat sh!t, how crazy has the transfer market gone when an unknown french teenager who probably has more fingers than goals, costs Man Utd £36 million!

More fingers than goals.

Good one, that cracked me up.

Ah transfer deadline day.
A highlight of the season.

Not for Villa I suspect, West.
Think Adebayor is likely to come in now Spurs have signed a forward?

by Be_the_ball Mon Aug 31, 2015 10:04 pm

SmithersJones wrote:Labour are unelectable in their current/most recent form. The last election showed that quite clearly. I'd rather the labour party was an ideological alternative than a fashion statement, red instead of blue.

That's what I was trying to say (I think), it's a hugely important party election for the UK.

by SmithersJones Mon Aug 31, 2015 10:23 pm

Be_the_ball wrote:
SmithersJones wrote:Labour are unelectable in their current/most recent form. The last election showed that quite clearly. I'd rather the labour party was an ideological alternative than a fashion statement, red instead of blue.

That's what I was trying to say (I think), it's a hugely important party election for the UK.

Either I've misunderstood your post or you've misunderstood mine. I'd rather the labour party was left than centrist. While they're in the centre the public will look at the two similar alternatives and decide that the tories are the capitalist party so if we're going to stick with a capitalist only economy then they should be in charge. I believe there's an appetite for taking some of the power away from big business, which a left of centre government would do but a centrist labour party wouldn't.

by pedro Mon Aug 31, 2015 11:56 pm

What you're asking for is a protest, or populism. That's not classical Labour.

In stead of advocating against something (eg. capitalism) you should rather be honest and advocate for something, eg. socialism. But not many votes in that I reckon. At that's the the 21st century Left in a nutshell.

Bottom line is that socialism has survived it self. What's left (no pun intended) is a sort of leftist populism. If the Left should have any sustainable chance of shaping the future some sort of socialist reformation is imperative.

by westisbest Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:49 pm

MustPuttBetter wrote:
westisbest wrote:
McLaren wrote:On a scale of zero to bat sh!t, how crazy has the transfer market gone when an unknown french teenager who probably has more fingers than goals, costs Man Utd £36 million!

More fingers than goals.

Good one, that cracked me up.

Ah transfer deadline day.
A highlight of the season.

Not for Villa I suspect, West.
Think Adebayor is likely to come in now Spurs have signed a forward?

Not going to happen, but would like to get Austin in.
Hearing Lescott will sign today.
Adebayor didnt want to come before, as he didnt want to move to the midlands.

If he does join today, may well be a case of noone else wants me, so fk it i'll go to Villa.

Least we have done a fair bit of signings early on.

Doubt will do much if anything today.

Midfielder would be good.

by McLaren Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:12 pm

westi

It is a shame that you lost Cleverly to Everton.

by super_realist Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:20 pm

Transfer deadline day is the most stupid thing in a stupid sport. It reminds me of the kid who does no revision for the entire study period then opens his books the night before and then expects to do well.

Retarded.

by MustPuttBetter Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:27 pm

McLaren wrote:westi

It is a shame that you lost Cleverly to Everton.

It isn't. He was absolutely shocking at Villa

by MustPuttBetter Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:34 pm

westisbest wrote:Not going to happen, but would like to get Austin in.
Hearing Lescott will sign today.
Adebayor didnt want to come before, as he didnt want to move to the midlands.

If he does join today, may well be a case of noone else wants me, so fk it i'll go to Villa.

Least we have done a fair bit of signings early on.

Doubt will do much if anything today.

Midfielder would be good.

Adebayor would be stupid if he doesn't agree to a move somewhere today. He has no registration, no squad number or anything at Spurs...

A midfielder to replace Westwood, agreed

by MustPuttBetter Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:45 pm

Super, the transfer deadline was brought in with the best of intentions, but I agree it doesn't work.
The fact that buying clubs have a limited amount of time means selling clubs are aware there is a ransom value and this is largely responsible for the ridiculous transfer fees in Europe now

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