The strange things people say...

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 3:43 pm

Human beings are strange creatures...

Recently we replaced some of our carpets at home and now everytime she makes me a cup of coffee I get.... "Don't spill it !!" ....Why say that ??.... Not like I go out of my way to pour coffee all over the carpets at the best of times....

I was recently told a former colleague had passed on and I divulged the news to one of the guys at work.....Who said "you're joking" ??????...
.....What kind of guy jokes about something like that ??

Why do people wish their opponents "Good luck" before a game ????...........

Why do premier soccer managers say "They put a shift in today" ??? .........I mean is it optional or something ???

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Post by Pr4wn on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 4:51 pm

To quote Lee Evans while talking about finding his lost keys:

"It's always in the last place you look!"

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Post by Guest on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 5:07 pm

Pr4wn wrote:To quote Lee Evans while talking about finding his lost keys:

"It's always in the last place you look!"
He also asked why people said "Get well soon"

"Why not immediately? You want me suffer don't you?"

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Post by Guest on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 5:14 pm

Also, why do people say, "You'll never guess what I did/who I saw today?" or "Have a guess what I did/who I saw today?

How long have I got, how many guesses am I allowed?
If I can't guess, does it matter?
If I can't guess, does it make you a better/smarter person than me?
More importantly, in the end, will it have been worth it/will I be remotely f*cking interested?

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 5:19 pm

"Get well soon....." Yeah when you think about it....it's kind of strange..

Never understood why British people greet complete strangers with "Alright"???.....

Are you inviting me to stop and tell you what's wrong with me...How long have you got ??

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Post by Scottrf on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 5:27 pm


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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 6:01 pm

Used to know a guy who finished quite a few sentences with...

"Beyond a shadow of a doubt"....


Last edited by TRUSSMAN66 on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 7:33 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : ..)

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Post by SecretFly on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 6:44 pm

At least 'Alright?' vaguely means something in theory.

What the hell(o) does Hello mean? "Hello" "Hello"...... em..."Hello" How would aliens react to a first "Hello" from a welcoming earthling? Will they think he means what they usually say in a first greeting; "We come in peace, shoot to kill!"?

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Post by Dolphin Ziggler on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 10:17 pm

SecretFly wrote:At least 'Alright?' vaguely means something in theory.

What the hell(o) does Hello mean?   "Hello"  "Hello"...... em..."Hello"  How would aliens react to a first "Hello" from a welcoming earthling?  Will they think he means what they usually say in a first greeting; "We come in peace, shoot to kill!"?

Bit of a strained point, SF. How the f*** will they know what any of it means?!

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Post by SecretFly on Fri 13 Nov 2015, 10:39 pm

They always speak English for f**k's sake! F**king English is the official Intergalactic Language, Ziggler! Ain't you ever watched TV or thrash 1950 movies?????!!!

But they still don't know what the hell Hello means.... and that's because the rest of us don't know either.



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Post by Derbymanc on Sat 14 Nov 2015, 10:51 am

Alright's always been a strange one for me. I still do it but thinking about it baffles me
'Why am I asking a complete stranger if they're alright, why are they then telling me yeah'

Wonder what i'd do if someone said 'no actually, whats happened is .................'

My fave is people insisting on asking 'Are they identical'
'They're boy and girl'
'I know but are they identical'

Also why do we as humans insist on talking to our dogs, cats etc that blatantly don't understand/care or know what we're talking about.

Hello Mr Puppy and how are you today, yes you are a good boy etc. You did that to anything else and people would look at you mental.

People asking me if I want another pint in the pub. Of course I do, that's why i'm in the pub Smile

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Post by kingraf on Sat 14 Nov 2015, 10:57 am

The phrase "ja no" and it's derivatives "ja nee" and "no ja". Been a South African my whole life and im still not sure if you're agreeing or disagreeing when using it
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Post by ONETWOFOREVER on Sat 14 Nov 2015, 8:20 pm

Maybe, maybe not

means the same thing no?

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Post by navyblueshorts on Sat 14 Nov 2015, 8:25 pm

Good thread Truss.

Always remember Dave Allen doing a sketch when he was talking about this sort of thing. Always like the one when you're sat in the pub and the chair next to you is empty. Someone comes up and asks "Anyone sitting there?". Duh!!!
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Post by Derbymanc on Sun 15 Nov 2015, 9:53 am

The one that drives me up the wall with the missus.

'Where do you wanna go tonight?'
'You can choose'
'Okay we'll go x,y,z'
'Nah I'd rather go a,b,c'


Aaaaargh why didn't you say that in the first place

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Post by The Fourth Lion on Sun 06 Dec 2015, 2:28 pm

I was at a funeral not long ago (it wasn't my own, thankfully) and the bloke reading the eulogy to the dearly departed ended with "Farewell George."  I've often wondered why people say this about the dead.

Farewell....?    How can somebody fare well when their immediate future is to be put in an oven and reduced to ashes..?   You can't possibly fare worse than being dead.!!

"Farewell" is the sort of thing you say to somebody when they're about to depart on a journey or enterprise which might be hazardous, but one from which you hope they will return safe and sound.   Being stuck in a wooden box and shoved into a crematorium oven is pretty darned final in my opinion and certainly non-returnable.
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Post by Derbymanc on Mon 07 Dec 2015, 9:59 am

Good point that 4L's (good to see you back) another slightly morbid one is why do people get 'get well soon' cards for people who are extremely ill (one of our friends is not long for this world and he's had a few).

I just got him a joky card as couldn't for the life of me see what good a 'Get Well Soon', 'Sorry to Hear' card would do other than make him realise he's not well???

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Post by TopHat24/7 on Mon 07 Dec 2015, 11:48 am

Farewell makes sense for those that believe in heaven or some level of spirituality beyond our physical mortality...

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Post by ONETWOFOREVER on Mon 07 Dec 2015, 12:46 pm

TopHat24/7 wrote:Farewell makes sense for those that believe in heaven or some level of spirituality beyond our physical mortality...

You believe in a physical mortality but not the afterlife. What makes you so sure. Look within yourself and take a look at the world we live in the signs are there. When we die we will be raised again in a new world. Every civilization knew of this. You are missing the most high from your life look for him with sincerity.

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Post by Pr4wn on Mon 07 Dec 2015, 1:40 pm

ONETWOFOREVER wrote:
TopHat24/7 wrote:Farewell makes sense for those that believe in heaven or some level of spirituality beyond our physical mortality...

You believe in a physical mortality but not the afterlife.  What makes you so sure. Look within yourself and take a look at the world we live in the signs are there. When we die we will be raised again in a new world. Every civilization knew of this. You are missing the most high from your life look for him with sincerity.

Ummmm, is this serious?

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Post by TopHat24/7 on Mon 07 Dec 2015, 2:14 pm

Maybe his tin foil hat needs adjusting.......

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Post by Derbymanc on Mon 07 Dec 2015, 2:20 pm

Depends how you look at it 1/2, without really wanting to delve into Religion there is something after but not sure it's all of us in Paradise etc. Think our energy goes elsewhere to feed something as i'm pretty sure Mother Nature doesn't waste anything and we're all little building blocks in this thing we call life.

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Post by Duty281 on Mon 07 Dec 2015, 2:48 pm

Repent now, or Santa Claus will strike you down with great vengeance and fury!

17 and a bit days to get all the repenting out the way....otherwise the bell(s) toll for thee.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h48njMMLOc

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Mon 07 Dec 2015, 2:56 pm

Wrong thread..

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Tue 08 Dec 2015, 2:26 pm

"Lucky survivor" .......Got be a little unlucky to be in a position where you have to try to survive...

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Post by Pr4wn on Tue 08 Dec 2015, 2:46 pm

But comparatively lucky compared to those that perished...

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Post by Derbymanc on Tue 08 Dec 2015, 3:08 pm

'how do you feel' when someone either wins the lottery/loses a loved one/has been victim of a crime.

My favourite at work
'Would you like this job to do?' - Nope not really, i'd rather sit here doing nowt whilst you go and do it.

Oh and

'The computer changed my password' - No it didn't you donut you put it in wrong for the 15th time, I know this cause this system logs everything you can do and if you do it again i'm going to insert the keys for your password up your ass 1 at a time

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Wed 09 Dec 2015, 9:56 am

When a wife says "So and so has invited us round on wednesday!!"

Why not just say "We are going to so and so's house on wednesday whether you like it or not!!"

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Post by Stella on Wed 09 Dec 2015, 12:56 pm

My work colleague nearly always starts off a conversation with "I'm not being funny". Gawd knows why?
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Post by Pr4wn on Wed 09 Dec 2015, 1:17 pm

How about when people "turn around" and say something.

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Post by Derbymanc on Wed 09 Dec 2015, 3:48 pm

You don't work with me do you Stella Smile

Good one that Truss..

How about when the kids say 'If i'm good will you get me x,y,z'


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Post by TopHat24/7 on Wed 09 Dec 2015, 4:09 pm

Derbymanc wrote:'how do you feel' when someone either wins the lottery/loses a loved one/has been victim of a crime.

My favourite at work
'Would you like this job to do?' - Nope not really, i'd rather sit here doing nowt whilst you go and do it.

Oh and

'The computer changed my password' - No it didn't you donut you put it in wrong for the 15th time, I know this cause this system logs everything you can do and if you do it again i'm going to insert the keys for your password up your ass 1 at a time

How about when IT/Tech 'support' start evey piece of advice with - "try turning it off and back on again...."

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Post by Derbymanc on Wed 09 Dec 2015, 4:42 pm

It works most of the time though. That's how we fix most of our bigger issues Smile

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Post by Stella on Wed 09 Dec 2015, 4:43 pm

Is the wait 10 seconds till you switch back on a myth?
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Post by Derbymanc on Wed 09 Dec 2015, 4:47 pm

Not for us, if your working on a network the idea is that it can sometimes take a while for whatever you've done to process through (should be a second but you know how it goes).

Best advice I can give, Log off, restart and let the comp boot up fully. Log back on and let it fully load up and then check whatever problem you've got.

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 on Wed 09 Dec 2015, 4:52 pm

"Guess what I got told today"...

Seeing as there are about a hundred million things you could have been told today....We better cancel our plans for the weekend !!!!!! Rolling Eyes Cool

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Post by dummy_half on Wed 09 Dec 2015, 8:27 pm

Wife 'Do you know what you did wrong?'

Me 'No'

Her 'Well, I'm not going to tell you'

mad

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Post by Derbymanc on Thu 10 Dec 2015, 9:25 am

Ha ha, like them 2 Truss and Dummy,

The other one with the kids is

'What did you do in school'

'Dunno'

Aaarrrgh

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