The Last Film watched (CONTAINS STAR WARS SPOILERS!!)

First topic message reminder :

I watch two films over the last few days

Seventh Son: Absolute tosh, it felt like a bad D&D film from SyFy

The Wedding Ringer: It was a fun movie, predictable but fun, "Who the hell are these guys, it's like the Goonies grew up and became r@pists"

I also saw Murder on the Orient Express, and would agree with pretty much everything guildford says. Not a masterpiece, but a very enjoyable film thoroughly well made.

The main plus point is the terrific cast who all give excellent performances IMO, and the excellent scenery and cinematography in general. The mystery is well spun, and the pacing very good.

The negatives are that while there's nothing wrong with Brannagh's performance per se, I don't think he quite nails Poirot. Guildford calls him "too athletic", to which I would add "too angry" at times, and also maybe a bit too "Sherlocky" in the way he deduces things from little material clues. I totally agree with guildford's point that "answers [tend] to be presented rather than clues worked out", whereas the fun of a murder mystery is for the spectator to work things out along with the detective.

7/10 feels about right.

It's also impeccably titled, so should score full marks on the HH scale .

I also saw Passengers recently.

Overall, a bit meh. Tries to be too many films at once IMO. The first act is an introduction to Christ Pratt's character and deals with his difficult dilemma. The second part is a classic rom-com of "boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy loses girl", etc. in Space. The third part is a "the ship is falling apart and needs boy + girl to work together and rescue it (and all the passengers)". As a result the various parts feel rather underdeveloped to me, with too many Ex-Machinas (e.g. Lawrence Fishburne's character also conveniently waking up so that he can give Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence access to the right parts of the ship). The two main actors both give good performances, which just about carry the film, and some of the visuals are excellent (the water bubble scene in the last act), but overall, this is a disappointment: the script just doesn't hold up well enough IMO. 5/10

Mad for Chelsea wrote:I also saw Murder on the Orient Express, and would agree with pretty much everything guildford says. Not a masterpiece, but a very enjoyable film thoroughly well made.

The main plus point is the terrific cast who all give excellent performances IMO, and the excellent scenery and cinematography in general. The mystery is well spun, and the pacing very good.

The negatives are that while there's nothing wrong with Brannagh's performance per se, I don't think he quite nails Poirot. Guildford calls him "too athletic", to which I would add "too angry" at times, and also maybe a bit too "Sherlocky" in the way he deduces things from little material clues. I totally agree with guildford's point that "answers [tend] to be presented rather than clues worked out", whereas the fun of a murder mystery is for the spectator to work things out along with the detective.

7/10 feels about right.

It's also impeccably titled, so should score full marks on the HH scale .

I haven't seen it yet - intending to go this week.
But surely there should be a +1 to the rating for the moustache alone

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Watched Split last night with James McAvoy

Tino memorial rating: 8.5
GSoE: 8/10 - JM is f**king brilliant in it. 1st class performance. Loses a couple of marks because the film itself isn't as good as JM.
HH scale of accurate titling: 7/10 - Named according to the various personalities but you wouldn't know that if you didn't know the film.
Michaels Scale of t*ts OR war: 5/10 - A bit of underwear on show and a couple of violent scenes but nothing to wince at.
Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 10/10 - Free as you like
TSRRN-Q:

Patricia: We are what we believe we are.
Hedwig: Ha, Holy Poopie! This is so cool! Ah, ha ha! They're gonna believe we ditched them, right?
Dennis: They're gonna have to.
Hedwig: So, what do we do now?
Patricia: We trust in him. He'll protect us. Look at what he can do. Let him show the world how powerful we can be.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Beast: The broken are the more evolved.

I watched this last night and really enjoyed it, agree that JM is a top act in it, quite quickly you're recognizing the different personalities he's portraying.

Hero wrote:

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Watched Split last night with James McAvoy

Tino memorial rating: 8.5
GSoE: 8/10 - JM is f**king brilliant in it. 1st class performance. Loses a couple of marks because the film itself isn't as good as JM.
HH scale of accurate titling: 7/10 - Named according to the various personalities but you wouldn't know that if you didn't know the film.
Michaels Scale of t*ts OR war: 5/10 - A bit of underwear on show and a couple of violent scenes but nothing to wince at.
Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 10/10 - Free as you like
TSRRN-Q:

Patricia: We are what we believe we are.
Hedwig: Ha, Holy Poopie! This is so cool! Ah, ha ha! They're gonna believe we ditched them, right?
Dennis: They're gonna have to.
Hedwig: So, what do we do now?
Patricia: We trust in him. He'll protect us. Look at what he can do. Let him show the world how powerful we can be.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Beast: The broken are the more evolved.

I watched this last night and really enjoyed it, agree that JM is a top act in it, quite quickly you're recognizing the different personalities he's portraying.

Filth came out a few years ago - dark but great film which is basically the James McAvoy show. Highly recommended.

Jonah Hex.

Tino Memorial  rating.  7
GSoE. 7/10. Enjoyable film, in Which John Malcavich & Josh Bolin play there parts well. Sort of western,  where a guy brought back from death is an outlaw. Who gets a chance of revenge on the guy who put him there.
HH scale of accrate titling. 10. It' about a guy called Jonah Hex.
Micheals scale of t**ts and War. 7/10. Megan Fox is in it but  dressed. But there' a fair amount of violence.
Rowley scale of Northern thriftiness. 8/10. £3.50 thanks to Google store.

Okay romp, that' a sort of sunday film (ie don' have to engage brain to watch). It' silliness sort of adds to the film.

Excellent review, Luke. Good to see a return to the high standards for which this thread is renowned after some very poor efforts.

Luke wrote:Jonah Hex.

Tino Memorial  rating.  7
GSoE. 7/10. Enjoyable film, in Which John Malcavich & Josh Bolin play there parts well. Sort of western,  where a guy brought back from death is an outlaw. Who gets a chance of revenge on the guy who put him there.
HH scale of accrate titling. 10. It' about a guy called Jonah Hex.
Micheals scale of t**ts and War. 7/10. Megan Fox is in it but  dressed. But there' a fair amount of violence.
Rowley scale of Northern thriftiness. 8/10. £3.50 thanks to Google store.

Okay romp, that' a sort of sunday film (ie don' have to engage brain to watch). It' silliness sort of adds to the film.

That's more money than Rowley entire family has earned since the 70s. That's 0 out of 10

"Life"

Tino memorial rating : 6.879 - Enjoyable, didnt see much promo about this, so went in a little blind, but was rather enjoyable, if not a bit mad!

GSoE: 8

HH Scale of Accurate Titling: 1/10 or 10/10? – Its based on the discovery of life on mars, which quickly becomes that the life "Calvin" - then tries to kill everyone on board the ISS - therefore trying to remove "life", so i suppose you could see how the title works, other options could have been "Alien Squid"

Michaels scale of tits OR war: 4/10 – No tits - and the war is pretty much down to 1 alien, and 6 astronauts, so not exactly a war, more of a playground scuffle.

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 5/10 - Free on Sky Cinema - and by free, it means Rupert Murdoch pulls my pants down and does me dry every month to the tune of £80.00

TattieSconesRRN-Q: "HDJNJKFBshbhbhbhfdb" Garbled space drowing... completely muffled, couldnt hear a word.

Now that is a proper review!!

rick_dagless wrote:Now that is a proper review!!

Thank you kind sir!

It's a f*cking good one, none of this bullsh*t of three cinemaaah students sitting around trying to outdo each other with witty adjectives and obscure references.

C*nts.

Great review Scott. That's another film I don't have to bother watching because of a well constructed review.

superflyweight wrote:Great review Scott.  That's another film I don't have to bother watching because of a well constructed review.  

Ah see, i feel i may have done it an injustice....as it was not a bad film at all....

Scott is Back wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Great review Scott.  That's another film I don't have to bother watching because of a well constructed review.  

Ah see, i feel i may have done it an injustice....as it was not a bad film at all....

Nah - I don't need to watch any films that are reviewed in this way.

Anyone seen everest? Watched it the other night, thought it was brillaint..

Star wars the last jedi.

Tino Memorial rating.  7.3

GSoE.  7

HH scale of accrate titling. 2/10

There is a star (lots of them), and there are wars going on. But the star's not involved in any of them. It just floating along doing it thing. And it seems pretty neutral to me.

Micheals scale of t*ts and War.  3/10.

Not only is there no nudity.but absolutely no chance of any. The war scenes are more comic book than saving private Ryan 

Rowley scale of Northern thriftiness.   2/10

 £20 for ticket drink popcorn and absolutely horrible hot dog (I was hungry and hadn' eaten all day). £1 for 3d glass. The film was in 3d! You didn' offer me an option to not watch in 3d you money making b*****dsl

I'm not  the biggest fan of star wars. I think they're okay but that's about it. 
This one had alot more action then the last one. More comedy moments, and moved the franchise forward with still some nods to the past. 
It's also 40 mins to long, has 2 many slow bits. The lightsaber fight, while intresting is now where near as good as the one in clone wars, or revenge of the sith. And I'm losing intrest with the main characters.

If your really into star wars, you'l probably love this film. It like me your neither hear nor there. It' enjoyable but it won't last long in the memory. 
If you don' like star wars, why are you seeing this film.

I’m going to see it at 9.
Like you in 3D, also will have hot dog and popcorn.
Already have the glasses.

Don’t mind 3D, so hopefully this will be good.
Wasn’t a huge fan of The Force Awakens, hope this will be better.

Did enjoy Rogue One.

Last Jedi was decent enough. Far from the best ever Star Wars though. It wasnt bad enough that Force Awakens was almost a carbon copy of New Hope, but most of the key plotlines here were lifted straight from episodes 5 and 6, namely

Spoiler:

And dont get me started on that Leia bit.

6/10.

Star wars the last jedi.

Tino Memorial rating.  6.012

GSoE.  6

HH scale of accurate titling. 2/10

Spoiler:

Micheals scale of t*ts and War.  6/10.

No nudity, fair bit of war

Rowley scale of Northern thriftiness.   5/10

Someone else paid, but it wasn't cheap.

TattieSconesRRN-Q: "sreeeeeeeeeee" those little porg barstards

Samo wrote:Last Jedi was decent enough. Far from the best ever Star Wars though. It wasnt bad enough that Force Awakens was almost a carbon copy of New Hope, but most of the key plotlines here were lifted straight from episodes 5 and 6, namely

Spoiler:

And dont get me started on that Leia bit.

6/10.

Talking to someone in work with who's far more into star wars than I am. Neither of us know where it's going in the next one. Both think you could cut out parts and it wouldn't effect the film and would make it better.

But all the Leigh bits wound us up, especially given what's happened in real life. Mind you the scene at the very end wound him up more.

Like I said it's  an enjoyable film. But not memorable. And a film that like rogue one. Made to be on its own. But leaves more questions.

Pitch perfect 3.

Tino Memorial rating  - 2.85

GSoE - 4

HH Scale of accurate titling - 7

Micheals scale of t*ts and violence - 0.

Was it really to much to ask for one more shower scene. Or a girls bonding session that takes an unexpected turn for the better.

Rowley scale of Northern thriftiness - 1

Bradford Cineworld  £16.50 for ticket, popcorn & coke. I didn't want shares in the companies that I must now have for that price.

The singing was as good as ever (thought no mash ups which was disappointing). Think Anna Kendrick's voice is better now than at the start of these films. Some of the comical lines and scenes worked, most didn't. There was a story line apparently , and the bit on the boat was absolutely pointless.  

If you want to watch a good pitch perfect film watch the first one,as this isn't.

I watched Kingsman: The Golden Circle last night. What a waste of 2 hours and twenty minutes of my life that was. Julianne Moore and Halle Berry, both Oscar winners, must be hard up for cash. Apart from the swearing, I thought I was watching a kids movie!

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.

Good film, well acted, if you have seen and enjoyed In Bruges you may well like this, similar very dark comedy amongst the drama.

Don't Breathe (DVD)

More thriller than the horror than it is advertised to be but nonetheless imo well worth a look and does not outstay it's welcome.

Geostorm

Gerard Butler plays a scientist/hero, an expert who creates a machine to control the weather which is sabotaged. Every bit as bad as it sounds, one or two decent destruction scenes but otherwise generic drivel. Sad to see Andy Garcia and Richard Schiff (West Wing) reduced to this but I guess they have to work like everyone else.

The Beast wrote:

Gerard Butler plays a scientist/hero, an expert who creates a machine to control the weather which is sabotaged. Every bit as bad as it sounds, one or two decent destruction scenes but otherwise generic drivel. Sad to see Andy Garcia and Richard Schiff (West Wing) reduced to this but I guess they have to work like everyone else.

Yeah,  Gerard's career took a tumble down a well shaft after his last great performance in 300 - and let's face it, Brian Blessed could have done the role just as well:

"Logan"

Tino memorial rating : 8.75486 - Not a huge X-Men/Wolverine Fan, but this was more for the grown-ups, which added a nice amount of blood/Gore/F-Bombs!

GSoE: 9

HH Scale of Accurate Titling: 10/10 – Logan is the main protagonist....features heavily in the film, and his name is Logan.... pretty bang on title!

Michaels scale of tits OR war: Tits - 3/10 - No breasts, but Stephen Merchant is in it, and he is a bit of a tit! 8/10 for war, plenty of slashy/stabby/pokey claw kills from ol' knife-hands!

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 5/10 - i repeat my previous quarell,in that it was free on Sky, but is anything ever really free on Sky?

TattieSconesRRN-Q: "Daddy......." - means little in isolation.....but cuts you deep in context!!

Belter of a review as always, Scott.

Scott is Back wrote:"Logan"

Tino memorial rating : 8.75486 - Not a huge X-Men/Wolverine Fan, but this was more for the grown-ups, which added a nice amount of blood/Gore/F-Bombs!

GSoE: 9

HH Scale of Accurate Titling: 10/10 – Logan is the main protagonist....features heavily in the film, and his name is Logan.... pretty bang on title!

Michaels scale of tits OR war: Tits - 3/10 - No breasts, but Stephen Merchant is in it, and he is a bit of a tit! 8/10 for war, plenty of slashy/stabby/pokey claw kills from ol' knife-hands!

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 5/10 - i repeat my previous quarell,in that it was free on Sky, but is anything ever really free on Sky?

TattieSconesRRN-Q: "Daddy......." - means little in isolation.....but cuts you deep in context!!

Excellent review, has allowed me to detest Logan without the bother of watching it. I particularly like the dig at Sky, and the joke about Steve Merchant had me pausing my Monday morning crap so that I could enjoy a quick chuckle.

4/5

@Galted - This is why i take reviewing movies so seriously - Chuckle free my brother!

@rick_Dagless - I only watch the movies, so i can provide the reviews! Thats what gets me hard of a morning!!

Take one for the team, and get hard, loving your work.

Roman J Israel Esq. By the numbers Denzel Washington film but enjoyable nonetheless

Gone Girl - 10/10

One of the greatest movies of all time.

Trebs wrote:Gone Girl - 10/10

One of the greatest movies of all time.

If you've only ever seen Gone Girl or Adam Sandler films

As much as I'm terrified into agreeing with SerialDAVE on anything non-Barton Fink/Big Lebowski related, I have to voice my admiration for Trebs's use of this thread to enhance his V3 prospects.

"Black Panther

Tino memorial rating : 8.2156 - 2 hours flew by, and the pacing, cinematography and action were spot on

GSoE: 9

HH Scale of Accurate Titling: 7/10 – A tentative 5 it could be much higher as the protagonist is called Black Panther, but as he is not an actual Black Panther I have marked it down (I do appreciate that a Black Panther is not an actual animal so marked it back up a bit)

Michaels scale of tits OR war: Tits - 3/10 - No breasts, can see some nips through tops 7/10 for war, lots of scrapping, no gore

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 2/10 - Odeon isense cost a fortune

TattieSconesRRN-Q: "Wakanda forever..."

Textbook Rick. They should include a picture of it in the dictionary next to the definition of 'Review'.

Cheers, supes.

I saw a few recently.

The Mercy is a true story of a round the world boat endurance race. If follows Donald something who pretended he was further than he actually went. It's not going to win any best movies but i enjoyed it.

Three billboards. It was one of those where you're waiting for something to happen, then it ends! A bit overrated although well acted and nicely shot film.

On many cult classic lists you'll find 'The Warriors'. Set in the late 70s it starts off as a mega meeting of all the gangs in New York. When the speaker gets shot and killed, the warriors are framed. They then have to travel back through NY in the middle of the night while being chased by other gangs. The acting isn't great and it ain't big budget but you get a real taste of the gritty NY of the 70s and it's culture. It's also a bit of an adventure traveling through the urban jungle.

"Thor - Ragnarok"

Tino memorial rating : 7.5874 - Not seen any of the previous Thor's, but this one looked all new and shiny, so thought i would give it a whirl.

GSoE: 8.6

HH Scale of Accurate Titling: 8/10 – Thor Ragnarok - Well the main man is ol' Thor, God of Thunder & all that jazz....so thats a good start. Ragnarok as a word features quite heavily, still no overly sure what it was, but it was mentioned a lot.

Michaels scale of tits OR war: Tits - one topless scene where God of Pecs shows off his rippling torso, and the Hulk gets his dimply arse-cheeks out. Not sure if i would class it as a war, but some fisty-cuffs ensued, and there was a winner, so i suppose it could be a war.... who knows, certainly not me!

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 5/10 - The wife was sent to sainsburys for some steak, and returned with the film, so it didnt cost me anything, but the Scott household took a hit of £9.99.

TattieSconesRRN-Q: "Piss off Ghost" - Said in a South African/Australian Accent, i couldnt tell which (is this racist?)

Scott is Back wrote:"Thor - Ragnarok"

Tino memorial rating : 7.5874 - Not seen any of the previous Thor's, but this one looked all new and shiny, so thought i would give it a whirl.

GSoE: 8.6

HH Scale of Accurate Titling: 8/10 – Thor Ragnarok - Well the main man is ol' Thor, God of Thunder & all that jazz....so thats a good start. Ragnarok as a word features quite heavily, still no overly sure what it was, but it was mentioned a lot.

Michaels scale of tits OR war: Tits - one topless scene where God of Pecs shows off his rippling torso, and the Hulk gets his dimply arse-cheeks out. Not sure if i would class it as a war, but some fisty-cuffs ensued, and there was a winner, so i suppose it could be a war.... who knows, certainly not me!

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 5/10 - The wife was sent to sainsburys for some steak, and returned with the film, so it didnt cost me anything, but the Scott household took a hit of £9.99.

TattieSconesRRN-Q: "Piss off Ghost" - Said in a South African/Australian Accent, i couldnt tell which (is this racist?)

If Barry Norman had done his reviews like this he wouldn't be dead now.

Textbook

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