The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 10:59 am

rick_dagless wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I know that, but I just find it odd that there is actually specific advice on the subject.

It must be fact you actually have an arthropod world worth talking about.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 10:59 am

rick_dagless wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I'm just your average black labrador with a keen sense of doing the right thing for my masters.
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Post by JuliusHMarx on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:03 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I know that, but I just find it odd that there is actually specific advice on the subject.

It must be fact you actually have an arthropod world worth talking about.

Thread split wasted on some arthropod based gobbledy-gook. I may cry.

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:06 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I'm just your average black labrador with a keen sense of doing the right thing for my masters.

Should have prefaced that with 'Konvict Music' to add an akon feel to it

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:10 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I know that, but I just find it odd that there is actually specific advice on the subject.

It must be fact you actually have an arthropod world worth talking about.

Thread split wasted on some arthropod based gobbledy-gook. I may cry.

Feel free to delete it. It was awful, I can't deny that.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:12 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I know that, but I just find it odd that there is actually specific advice on the subject.

It must be fact you actually have an arthropod world worth talking about.

Thread split wasted on some arthropod based gobbledy-gook. I may cry.

Console yourself with the fact that Tino will almost certainly pay for this insult as soon as he steps through his front door.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:16 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I know that, but I just find it odd that there is actually specific advice on the subject.

It must be fact you actually have an arthropod world worth talking about.

Thread split wasted on some arthropod based gobbledy-gook. I may cry.

Console yourself with the fact that Tino will almost certainly pay for this insult as soon as he steps through his front door.

There is a pecking order at my house.

Mrs Windows
Baby
Twins
Eldest daughter
Eldest son
Spider
Rabbits
Chickens
Fish
Jules
Me

Mind the windows Tino.
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Location : There are fewer more distressing sights than that of an Englishman in a baseball cap. And we'll die in the class we were born, well that's a class of our own my love. A class of our own my love. Did you see the stylish kids in the riot, cos mine beat me up then set the night on fire. Wombles bleed, truncheons and shields, you know I cherish you my love. Oh how I cherish Julius my love.

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:21 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I know that, but I just find it odd that there is actually specific advice on the subject.

It must be fact you actually have an arthropod world worth talking about.

Thread split wasted on some arthropod based gobbledy-gook. I may cry.

Console yourself with the fact that Tino will almost certainly pay for this insult as soon as he steps through his front door.

There is a peckerorder at my house.

Mrs Windows
Baby
Twins
Eldest daughter
Eldest son
Spider
Rabbits
Chickens
Fish
Jules
Me

I'll never doubt you again. You truly are a part of the genatility.

Although I would have thought Jules might be higher up in a biggest to smallest list.

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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:26 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I'm just your average black labrador with a keen sense of doing the right thing for my masters.

Should have prefaced that with 'Konvict Music' to add an akon feel to it

I could sure do with some airkon right now, Razzy.
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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:31 am

Wrong two letters. Although F U might be a serviceable substitute. The book people are in today, I suspect I'll have spent my cigarette money by the time they leave.

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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:34 am

Fazzalufulu?

How long is it going to go on? It has been a few days now hasn't it?

Have you hid your stash properly or left it at home?
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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:37 am

He must be getting his drawers searched as I type. Uzzafa usually would have posted a reply by now


Last edited by The Loaded Dog on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:39 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:39 am

No sadly I leave it in my car. The book people is like a travelling bookshop TLD that attend businesses. Lots of good stuff for the children. I think Tino cries when they come to his office, difficult enough to shop for one

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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:41 am

ShahenshahG wrote:No sadly I leave it in my car. The book people is like a travelling bookshop TLD that attend businesses. Lots of good stuff for the children. I think Tino cries when they come to his office, difficult enough to shop for one

I see. I was thinking you were being audited. Must have confused you with someone else. The bookshop should be fun.
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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:46 am

Now might be a good time to ask for that rate rise.

Get your boss in an emotionally soft state at the bookshop - then pull the fuse out and give him the ultimatum: the keys to the City of Luton or you will burn reprints of The Wind In The Willows (or Peter Rabbit) in front of the deputy principal's secretary until he loses it.


Last edited by The Loaded Dog on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:48 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:47 am

Haha that's a pretty cool name actually but no its not right.

I've always thought of you guys as

Tino - Alexander
TLD - Philip
Julius - Bob
Rowley - Douglas
Sean - Dean
Galted- Sebastian
Rick - Patrick

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:50 am

Audit was Thursday before last. Was literally a couple of questions and the auditors playing table tennis for the rest of the day then giving us the all clear.

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:51 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:Now might be a good time to ask for that rate rise.

Get your boss in an emotionally soft state at the bookshop - then pull the fuse out and give him the ultimatum: the keys to the City of Luton or you will burn reprints of The Wind In The Willows (or Peter Rabbit) in front of the deputy principal's secretary until he loses it.

I think he would give the key to whoever would charge him the lowest

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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 11:55 am

Tino - Bradley
Julius - Arthur
Rowley - Peter
Shah - Khan
Sean - Ivan
Galted- Stephen
Rick - Richard
Fly - Stuart
Raf - Frank
Union - Mark
Dave - Kurt
Adam - Darius
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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 12:04 pm

Reckon Dave is actually Dave
Union - Alistair
Raf - Fanny
And super spends too much time fighting here when it's something hes interested in to be a Stuart. No one would hire him. I bet he's got a name like Randall Minge and the only reason people hire him is because they want to hear the judge say randy minge in open court.

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Post by rick_dagless on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 12:23 pm

Tino - Lee
Julius - George
Rowley - Steve
Shah - Musafa
Sean - Jurgen
Galted- Ray
Rick -
Fly - Stuart
Raf - Lenny
Union - Stuart
Dave - Dave
TLD- Bruce
Adam - I will leave off as is custom

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 12:25 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:Tino - Bradley
Julius - Arthur
Rowley - Peter
Shah - Khan
Sean - Ivan
Galted- Stephen
Rick - Richard
Fly - Stuart
Raf - Frank
Union - Mark
Dave - Kurt
Adam - Darius

Way off, LD.

My old man is Scottish. I have a Scottish first and surname.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by superflyweight on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 12:41 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:Tino - Bradley
Julius - Arthur
Rowley - Peter
Shah - Khan
Sean - Ivan
Galted- Stephen
Rick - Richard
Fly - Stuart
Raf - Frank
Union - Mark
Dave - Kurt
Adam - Darius

Way off, LD.

My old man is Scottish.  I have a Scottish first and surname.

Dick McStroker?

I'm not a Stuart or a Stewart.

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Post by Rowley on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 12:44 pm

I know Tina's name so will not spoil this but to confirm that you are indeed way off.

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Post by superflyweight on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 12:48 pm

Fanny McFrigger?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 12:56 pm

superflyweight wrote:Fanny McFrigger?

How the f*ck did you guess!

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rick_dagless on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 12:59 pm

I can confirm that I am not a Richard, or indeed a dick Dick...

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Post by superflyweight on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 1:00 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Fanny McFrigger?

How the f*ck did you guess!

Intuition - I know that the McFriggers of Milngavie moved to the Cheshire area back in the '70's and had a son who developed a penchant for MOR knitwear and partaking in public sexual activities in municipal buildings and on public transport.

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Post by Guest on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 1:11 pm

Seems I'm the only one brave/dumb enough to use his real name but as I'm not nearly interesting enough to impersonate or stalk I feel safe somehow.

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Post by superflyweight on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 1:35 pm

Did you change DAVE666 to DAVE667 by deed poll?

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Post by Guest on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 1:45 pm

By email

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Post by rick_dagless on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 1:47 pm

Witness protection...

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 2:48 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Witness protection...

..is Dave looking at condoms (post kill) and wondering what they're for

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Post by rick_dagless on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 3:00 pm

The condoms are usually made from human skin so plays havoc with the DNA tests...

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 3:09 pm

rick_dagless wrote:The condoms are usually made from human skin so plays havoc with the DNA tests...

Dave desperately pining for his fourskin?

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Post by Galted on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 5:55 pm

Public Service/Health Warning
Russian women take the International Day of the Fanny quite seriously so, if yours asks where her flowers are, it's best not to laugh.  And when she asks again it's best not to laugh again and say she'll get them on the International Gullible F*ckwit's day.

Needless to say I've just been out to buy flowers.
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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 6:02 pm

milkyboy wrote:Don't hold your breath spencer... It takes a lot to drag Tina away from the off topic section. Why talk boxing when you could be discussing how many librarians you've fingered?



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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 6:04 pm

Sorry to hear that Galted and tell me gods honest truth - Are you a half Indian from Luton?

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Post by Galted on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 6:25 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:Sorry to hear that Galted and tell me gods honest truth - Are you a half Indian from Luton?

Negative.

Though I have been to Luton on quite a few occasions. And on one of these occasions there was a half-Indian from Luton in the car. And on another there were two.
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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 6:27 pm

Was the half Indian in your car dating Galtovas friend/sister?

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Post by Galted on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 7:18 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:Was the half Indian in your car dating Galtovas friend/sister?

Not quite, the half-Indians were the offspring of an Indian friend of mine and her husband. Probably still are. Galtova's friends specialise in dating other Russians.


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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 7:41 pm

It was too much of a coincidence Laugh I.T kid here dating a Russian bird and often frequents London with his bird and bird's sister who is dating another I.T professional hailing from London. I was thinking of moving jobs immediately.

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Post by Rowley on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 7:51 pm

Galted wrote:Public Service/Health Warning
Russian women take the International Day of the Fanny quite seriously so, if yours asks where her flowers are, it's best not to laugh.  And when she asks again it's best not to laugh again and say she'll get them on the International Gullible F*ckwit's day.

Needless to say I've just been out to buy flowers.

This is how it starts Galted, they shack up with a bloke, get citizenship, stay with them just long enough to make it look convincing and the start losing their sh!t over anything and nothing. Take it from an industry professional this is the start of a very rocky road. You want my advice, you work in IT, start logging onto radical terrorism forums on her computer, pro reclaiming the Crimea should seem plausible, post some extremist stuff and then report her to immigration, they'll deport her eventually. Consider it a preemptive strike.

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 8:21 pm

Rowley wrote:
Galted wrote:Public Service/Health Warning
Russian women take the International Day of the Fanny quite seriously so, if yours asks where her flowers are, it's best not to laugh.  And when she asks again it's best not to laugh again and say she'll get them on the International Gullible F*ckwit's day.

Needless to say I've just been out to buy flowers.

This is how it starts Galted, they shack up with a bloke, get citizenship, stay with them just long enough to make it look convincing and the start losing their sh!t over anything and nothing. Take it from an industry professional this is the start of a very rocky road. You want my advice, you work in IT, start logging onto radical terrorism forums on her computer, pro reclaiming the Crimea should seem plausible, post some extremist stuff and then report her to immigration, they'll deport her eventually. Consider it a preemptive strike.

I love it when Evil Jeff comes out to play.

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Post by Rowley on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 8:25 pm

It's sound advice shah. He'll thank me for it one day. Plus if we come out of the eu think of all the Eastern European pole dancers who will be desperate to marry Brits. This is like an opportunity for Galted to upgrade.

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 8:35 pm

I have very little doubt in whatever you say regarding immigrants Rowley. laughing

No hope for moving elsewhere at the moment? Be nice to have a proper northerner running proceedings rather than Tino who expends his virility on raising other mens children and playing the flute solo over the fence in the hopes that James Bond makes him his bitch.

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Post by Rowley on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 8:50 pm

Nothing on the horizon Shah. Trying to persuade TSMR that she should let me retire, she refuses to accept talking shyte on here all day, listening to jazz and writing over long threads about boxers nobody cares about is a valid use of my time. Women can be funny like that sometimes.

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Post by Galted on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 9:04 pm

She didn't quite lose her sh1t, that's not too hard to counteract. She had a slightly menacing expression of disbelief on her face. Would continue this paragraph but she's now demanding her tea, fairly politely.
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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 9:15 pm

Rowley wrote:Nothing on the horizon Shah. Trying to persuade TSMR that she should let me retire, she refuses to accept talking shyte on here all day, listening to jazz and writing over long threads about boxers nobody cares about is a valid use of my time. Women can be funny like that sometimes.

Call her embarrassing nicknames in public. Like Frecklefanny or Salmonellamuff she'll give you anything just to stop you doing it. In caveat, I have not tested this hypothesis as I don't let my wives out in public but the theory is sound.

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Post by Rowley on Tue 08 Mar 2016, 9:18 pm

Cheers Shah, I need fresh material to use in public. After 14 years of marriage I am beginning to think my hilarious joke of saying to her in an excessively loud voice when on the appropriate aisle in the supermarket "do you need any more Windeze love?" is beginning to wear a little thin.

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