Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

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Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by A Simply Mesmeric Try on Thu 21 Apr 2016, 1:03 pm

First topic message reminder :

A Brief History of Time-Wasting


http://www.606v2.com/t48240-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread
http://www.606v2.com/t51313-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-ii
http://www.606v2.com/t53119-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-iii
http://www.606v2.com/t54519-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-iv
http://www.606v2.com/t55409-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-v-the-fun-continues
http://www.606v2.com/t56913-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-vi-banter-boogaloo
http://www.606v2.com/t57946-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-vii
http://www.606v2.com/t58659-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-viii
http://www.606v2.com/t59409-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-ix
http://www.606v2.com/t60764-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-x-rated
http://www.606v2.com/t61904-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-xi-the-undiscovered-country

Edinburgh

1872 Champions

Edinburgh's Fixtures & Results (click to show):

Fri 4 Sep 19:35
Edinburgh Rugby 16 - 9 Leinster Rugby - Meggetland 2,479
Sat 12 Sep 17:10
Benetton Treviso 24 - 27 Edinburgh Rugby - Stadio Monigo 4,000
October 2015
Fri 2 Oct 18:00
Edinburgh Rugby 20 - 9 Ospreys - BT Murrayfield 2,475
Fri 16 Oct 19:45
Edinburgh Rugby 16 - 10 Ulster Rugby - BT Murrayfield 4,324
Sat 24 Oct 14:30
Zebre Rugby 19 - 11 Edinburgh Rugby - Stadio Sergio Lanfranchi 1,500
Sat 31 Oct 18:45
Connacht Rugby 14 - 9 Edinburgh Rugby - Sportsground 3,834
November 2015
Sat 7 Nov 17:15
Edinburgh Rugby 14 - 16 Munster Rugby - BT Murrayfield 4,981
Fri 27 Nov 19:35
Edinburgh Rugby 32 - 13 Newport Gwent Dragons - BT Murrayfield 3,254
December 2015
Fri 4 Dec 19:35
Ulster Rugby 14 - 7 Edinburgh Rugby - Kingspan Stadium 15,839
Sun 27 Dec 15:05
Edinburgh Rugby 23 - 11 Glasgow Warriors - BT Murrayfield 23,642
January 2016
Sat 2 Jan 17:15
Glasgow Warriors 11 - 14 Edinburgh Rugby - BT Murrayfield 8,000
Fri 8 Jan 19:30
Edinburgh Rugby 28 - 13 Benetton Treviso - BT Murrayfield 3,159
Sat 30 Jan 17:15
Cardiff Blues 10 - 3 Edinburgh Rugby - BT Sport Cardiff Arms Park 6,058
February 2016
Fri 12 Feb 20:15
Scarlets 22 - 21 Edinburgh Rugby - Parc y Scarlets 5,569
Fri 19 Feb 19:05
Ospreys 27 - 13 Edinburgh Rugby - Liberty Stadium 7,264
Sun 28 Feb 14:05
Edinburgh Rugby 24 - 23 Scarlets - BT Murrayfield 3,618
March 2016
Fri 4 Mar 19:35
Edinburgh Rugby 23 - 28 Connacht Rugby - BT Murrayfield 3,584
Sun 27 Mar 14:30
Newport Gwent Dragons 15 - 16 Edinburgh Rugby - Rodney Parade 6,352
April 2016
Fri 1 Apr 19:35
Edinburgh Rugby 29 - 0 Zebre Rugby - BT Murrayfield 3,799
Fri 15 Apr 19:35
Leinster Rugby 30 - 23 Edinburgh Rugby - RDS Arena 10,233
Fri 29 Apr 19:35
Munster Rugby  27 - 19   Edinburgh Rugby - Irish Independent Park 8,200
May 2016
Sat 7 May 15:00
Edinburgh Rugby  17 - 21  Cardiff Blues - BT Murrayfield 4,962

Glasgow

1872 Runners-up

Glasgow Warrior's Fixtures & Results (click to show):

Sat 5 Sep 17:15
Glasgow Warriors 10 - 16 Scarlets - Scotstoun Stadium 6,562
Fri 11 Sep 19:35
Glasgow Warriors 33 - 32 Connacht Rugby - Scotstoun Stadium 6,267
October 2015
Fri 2 Oct 18:00
Munster Rugby 23 - 21 Glasgow Warriors - Thomond Park 11,713
Fri 16 Oct 19:35
Glasgow Warriors 29 - 15 Newport Gwent Dragons - Scotstoun Stadium 6,641
Fri 23 Oct 19:45
Leinster Rugby 23 - 18 Glasgow Warriors - RDS Arena 11,089
November 2015
Sun 1 Nov 14:30
Glasgow Warriors 31 - 19 Ospreys - Scotstoun Stadium 6,650
Sat 7 Nov 15:00
Cardiff Blues 30 - 35 Glasgow Warriors - BT Sport Cardiff Arms Park 5,704
Fri 27 Nov 19:35
Glasgow Warriors 13 - 6 Benetton Treviso - Scotstoun Stadium 6,634
December 2015
Sun 27 Dec 15:05
Edinburgh Rugby 23 - 11 Glasgow Warriors - BT Murrayfield 23,642
January 2016
Sat 2 Jan 17:15
Glasgow Warriors 11 - 14 Edinburgh Rugby - BT Murrayfield 8,000
Sun 31 Jan 14:30
Ospreys 20 - 20 Glasgow Warriors - Liberty Stadium 7,239
February 2016
Fri 12 Feb 19:30
Ulster Rugby 13 - 10 Glasgow Warriors - Kingspan Stadium 16,477
Fri 19 Feb 19:35
Glasgow Warriors 27 - 24 Munster Rugby - Rugby Park 7,212
Thu 25 Feb 19:05
Newport Gwent Dragons 15 - 18 Glasgow Warriors - Rodney Parade 4,526
March 2016
Sun 6 Mar 14:30
Glasgow Warriors 27 - 20 Cardiff Blues - Scotstoun Stadium 6,492
Fri 18 Mar 19:35
Glasgow Warriors 12 - 6 Leinster Rugby - Scotstoun Stadium 6,800
Fri 25 Mar 19:35
Glasgow Warriors 27 - 17 Ulster Rugby - Scotstoun Stadium 6,800
April 2016
Sat 2 Apr 17:30
Benetton Treviso 16 - 38 Glasgow Warriors - Stadio Monigo 3,500
Fri 8 Apr 19:30
Zebre Rugby 14 - 43 Glasgow Warriors - Stadio Sergio Lanfranchi 1,850
Sat 16 Apr 15:15
Scarlets 10 - 46 Glasgow Warriors - Parc y Scarlets 8,165
Fri 29 Apr 19:35
Glasgow Warriors  70 - 10   Zebre Rugby - Scotstoun Stadium 6,800
May 2016
Sat 7 May 15:00
Connacht Rugby 14 - 7  Glasgow Warriors - Galway Sportsground 7,786

Ladies and Gents, Girls and Boys, it's season finale!

Guinness PRO12 Play Offs
Fri 20 May 19:45 - Semi Final
Leinster Rugby 30 - 18   Ulster Rugby - RDS Arena 19,100

Sat 21 May 18:30 - Semi Final
Connacht Rugby  16 - 11   Glasgow Warriors - Galway Sportsground 7,800

Sat 28 May 17:30 - Grand Final
Leinster Rugby  10 - 20  Connacht Rugby  - BT Murrayfield - 34,550


Cinderella story or what?! Congrats to the Galway posse who were the form team of the season!


Last edited by A Simply Mesmeric Try on Wed 01 Jun 2016, 8:08 pm; edited 11 times in total (Reason for editing : Updated scores from finals)

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Thu 04 Aug 2016, 2:35 pm

cakeordeath wrote:There are a lot of lawyers in this thread. I feel quite dirty by association. Maybe I should go out and rob a pensioner, just to fit in more here.

Don't worry, we welcome diversity on here. It's just a coincidence that we're all white male middle class professionals.

Anyway, lawyers don't "rob" anyone. We just charge "reasonable fees" for market leading commercially aware legal advice, written on nicely headed paper with a disclaimer that says you can't rely on it.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by George Carlin on Thu 04 Aug 2016, 4:05 pm

funnyExiledScot wrote:Slightly off topic but this is a great article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-36902572

Reminds me of being a trainee lawyer and sitting at the printers for 35 straight hours waiting on a prospectus to be published, having to proof the pages as they came out one at a time (don't worry, they had a sofa and a shower).
When we were trainees together, my mate had to prepare emergency bundles for a high court hearing. 

He's a few sandwiches short of the full picnic at the best of times and didn't really get the hang of the hand pagination stamp.

He was rushing to get 8 sets of bundles done and didn't realise that all of the pages were numbered backwards. Too late to re-do them, so they had to use them. 

At least he was in court to see the look on his boss's face when the judge raised an eyebrow and uttered the famous words "well, I think we should all turn to the start of the claimant's submissions. At page 874".

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by George Carlin on Thu 04 Aug 2016, 4:06 pm

As an aside, I just want to say that I am currently in Lebanon on holiday and the local red wine, beer and ladies really are as lovely as I remembered them to be. 
And the motorway 'driving' is just as bad.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Thu 04 Aug 2016, 5:20 pm

http://www.scottishrugby.org/news/16/08/04/grant-returns-coach-talent-tomorrow

Good to see they've found a role for Roddy Grant to do - contact and defence are things he was very good at as a player!

Seems a bit of a mishmash of a job but hopefully it will stand him in good stead as s coach

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Thu 04 Aug 2016, 5:29 pm

RDW_Scotland wrote:http://www.scottishrugby.org/news/16/08/04/grant-returns-coach-talent-tomorrow

Good to see they've found a role for Roddy Grant to do - contact and defence are things he was very good at as a player!

Seems a bit of a mishmash of a job but hopefully it will stand him in good stead as s coach

They could also have given him the Ben Atiga "welcoming foreigners to Edinburgh" job in the meantime, given he probably knows the City a bit better.

Pleased they've found a meaningful role for him, rather than that silly "ambassador" role the soap dodgers gave to Kellock. On the premise of those who can't do teach, Kellock would make a wonderful coach.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Fri 05 Aug 2016, 10:42 am

Brilliant interview with Jim Hamilton about the pre-world cup training - whether all of it is true or not is debatable but it is bloody funny!

https://theoffsideline.com/2016/08/05/secrets-from-font-romeu-revealed/

JIM HAMILTON has given a jaw dropping insight into what exactly went on at Scotland’s 2015 Rugby World Cup training camp at Font Romeu in France.

Speaking on episode one of The Rugby Pod podcast [www.therugbypod.com], Hamilton revealed that head coach Vern Cotter led the squad on an expedition into the French Pyrenees which gives the infamous Camp Steel Wire endured by the Springboks ahead of the 2003 World Cup (featuring players stripped naked and pumping up balls in a freezing lake with gun toting security guards ordering any reluctant skinny dippers back into the icy water) a run for its money in terms of stark brutality.

Hamilton explained –

Basically we had a toughen-up, old-school camp. We were told to turn up at a five star hotel in Edinburgh and I was thinking: “Well, this aint toughening-up!” We then got on a mini-bus, got to Edinburgh airport and boarded a Ryan Air flight to Barcelona – no leg room, no nothing. Stag doo! Here we go! Vern, you are a legend.
However, proceedings were about to take a rather sinister turn.

We get off the plane in Barcelona and yellow school buses pick us up, and they take us for hours upon end across the border into France. We get dropped off after four or five hours and all we can see loads of mountains, there’s no water.

We’re like: “Where’s our water?”

“You should have brought your own – we’re trying to toughen up!”

So, whatever we were wearing we were told we had to walk in for six or seven hours, up to a check point in the mountain.

Vern says: “Lads, before you go, this is about toughening bloody up – let’s see who wants it”

I’m with Dr James Robson, the Lions legend, and Stuart Hogg, who thinks he’s a Lions legend. We’re literally wearing the stuff we woke up and put on in the morning, so I’ve got flip-flops, a pair of shorts and a Scotland top; Stuart Hogg’s wearing flip-flops, shorts and he’s carrying Louis Vuitton bag.

So we’re walking six hours up into this mountain and as you get to four or five hours your feet are getting sore [from] walking over rocky terrain. We get to the checkpoint and what we find is that we actually have another four hours to go. So we keep walking for four hours and by this time I’m having to carry all Stuart Hogg’s gear and Dr James Robson’s – who is borderline 60 years old now. I’ve got the defibrillator, I’ve got my bag, I’ve got the Louis Vuitton bag, and it’s probably about nine o’clock by now, so it’s getting pretty cold.
Fortunately the squad have been supplied with water by this point.

We get to where we are staying and there’s a campfire but also cages with rabbits in. These army guys come out and by the time everyone has got to the camp, Vern is sat there in full outdoor hunter gear – big jumper, walking boots and he’s got a knife

He says: “Right lads, we’ve got four hours, we’re cooking this for dinner, who doesn’t want to kill the rabbits?”

So, Richie Gray puts his hand up, obviously – you Cat Richie! Ross Ford, Stuart Hogg and someone else [also] put their hands up.

“Right, you four are killing the rabbits!”

So, the army guy pulls out this bunny rabbit – it’s not even a wild rabbit – and says: “This is how you need to kill it.”

He’s swinging this rabbit round with one hand, then next thing he slams it on the floor, I’m not joking, the thing’s eyes popped out of its head, then he cuts his throat, and he’s like:  “Right, that’s how you kill it!”

So the boys had to go and kill the other three. Richie Gray is spinning this thing round and he’s saying that he can’t slam it, and Vern shouts: “F**kin’ kill it!”

Richie does it, but it’s not dead, it’s shaking like mad and there’s blood everywhere, and he’s slamming it over the head with a stick.

Needless to say, the rabbits didn’t taste that succulent – they were a bit tough. But that’s all we had for food … with 35 baguettes.

So, we were sat round the campfire, and we were like: “Ok, where are we sleeping?”

Vern says: “We’re sleeping here.”

“Ok, sleeping bags?”

No sleeping bags, no tents, no kit – there are 40 big rugby players sat around the campfire, and literally we are freezing all night long. Some of the boys are really struggling with it. Then at four in the morning, this horn goes, and you’re like: “Nobody is asleep anyway, so we don’t need that!”

We’re going down the hill and Stuart Hogg is struggling like mad, so I’m having to carry him, and Vern’s like: “I’m only going to pick guys who want it and show me how tough they are.”

I’m thinking: “I’ll show him how tough I am”. I’ve got Stuart Hogg on my back, I’ve got the defibrillator, I‘ve got the Louis Vuitton bag, I’ve got my flip-flops on and I’m walking down the hill, thinking: “I’m going. I’m bloody going to the World Cup.”

Anyway, it turns out they picked Stuart Hogg … and I don’t get picked and go home!

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Fri 05 Aug 2016, 12:02 pm

Absolutely brilliant. Tears in my eyes reading that.

I’m with Dr James Robson, the Lions legend, and Stuart Hogg, who thinks he’s a Lions legend.

Very Happy

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Fri 05 Aug 2016, 12:06 pm

I think the podcast of it is definitely worth a listen!

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by George Carlin on Sat 06 Aug 2016, 11:46 am

funnyExiledScot wrote:Absolutely brilliant. Tears in my eyes reading that.

I’m with Dr James Robson, the Lions legend, and Stuart Hogg, who thinks he’s a Lions legend.

Very Happy
Stuart Hogg with a Louis Vuitton bag. I wonder which Edinburgh player loaned him that?

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 8:35 am

George Carlin wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:Absolutely brilliant. Tears in my eyes reading that.

I’m with Dr James Robson, the Lions legend, and Stuart Hogg, who thinks he’s a Lions legend.

Very Happy
Stuart Hogg with a Louis Vuitton bag. I wonder which Edinburgh player loaned him that?

So is Hogg an Edinburger in disguise or will Jimbo have to alter his view that only Edinburgh are bunch of pampered jessies?

I can't see Cornell Du Preez carrying a Luis Vuitton bag!

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by cakeordeath on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 9:35 am

RDW_Scotland wrote:
George Carlin wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:Absolutely brilliant. Tears in my eyes reading that.

I’m with Dr James Robson, the Lions legend, and Stuart Hogg, who thinks he’s a Lions legend.

Very Happy
Stuart Hogg with a Louis Vuitton bag. I wonder which Edinburgh player loaned him that?

So is Hogg an Edinburger in disguise or will Jimbo have to alter his view that only Edinburgh are bunch of pampered jessies?

I can't see Cornell Du Preez carrying a Luis Vuitton bag!

CDP has a crocodile skin bag...and I by that I mean he just stuff his clothes into a crocodile and carries that.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 9:38 am

cakeordeath wrote:
RDW_Scotland wrote:
George Carlin wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:Absolutely brilliant. Tears in my eyes reading that.

I’m with Dr James Robson, the Lions legend, and Stuart Hogg, who thinks he’s a Lions legend.

Very Happy
Stuart Hogg with a Louis Vuitton bag. I wonder which Edinburgh player loaned him that?

So is Hogg an Edinburger in disguise or will Jimbo have to alter his view that only Edinburgh are bunch of pampered jessies?

I can't see Cornell Du Preez carrying a Luis Vuitton bag!

CDP has a crocodile skin bag...and I by that I mean he just stuff his clothes into a crocodile and carries that.


I hear he just carries his stuff around in the 1872 Cup.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 9:44 am

funnyExiledScot wrote:
cakeordeath wrote:
RDW_Scotland wrote:
George Carlin wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:Absolutely brilliant. Tears in my eyes reading that.

I’m with Dr James Robson, the Lions legend, and Stuart Hogg, who thinks he’s a Lions legend.

Very Happy
Stuart Hogg with a Louis Vuitton bag. I wonder which Edinburgh player loaned him that?

So is Hogg an Edinburger in disguise or will Jimbo have to alter his view that only Edinburgh are bunch of pampered jessies?

I can't see Cornell Du Preez carrying a Luis Vuitton bag!

CDP has a crocodile skin bag...and I by that I mean he just stuff his clothes into a crocodile and carries that.


I hear he just carries his stuff around in the 1872 Cup.

We have a winner! Laugh

He certainly doesn't have much room for anything else given that he also has Strauss in his back pocket...

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by TheMildlyFranticLlama on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 11:34 am

Shots fired! Things are warming up nicely around here ready for the new season Yahoo

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 11:37 am

TheMildlyFranticLlama wrote:Shots fired! Things are warming up nicely around here ready for the new season Yahoo

I generally find August to be one of the strongest months of the season from an Edinburgh perspective. I like the table in alphabetical order.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 11:39 am

funnyExiledScot wrote:
TheMildlyFranticLlama wrote:Shots fired! Things are warming up nicely around here ready for the new season Yahoo

I generally find August to be one of the strongest months of the season from an Edinburgh perspective. I like the table in alphabetical order.

Not that Zebre tend to notice any difference...

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 11:48 am

RDW_Scotland wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:
TheMildlyFranticLlama wrote:Shots fired! Things are warming up nicely around here ready for the new season Yahoo

I generally find August to be one of the strongest months of the season from an Edinburgh perspective. I like the table in alphabetical order.

Not that Zebre tend to notice any difference...

Better points difference though!

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by George Carlin on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 11:51 am

RDW_Scotland wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:
cakeordeath wrote:
RDW_Scotland wrote:
George Carlin wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:Absolutely brilliant. Tears in my eyes reading that.

I’m with Dr James Robson, the Lions legend, and Stuart Hogg, who thinks he’s a Lions legend.

Very Happy
Stuart Hogg with a Louis Vuitton bag. I wonder which Edinburgh player loaned him that?

So is Hogg an Edinburger in disguise or will Jimbo have to alter his view that only Edinburgh are bunch of pampered jessies?

I can't see Cornell Du Preez carrying a Luis Vuitton bag!

CDP has a crocodile skin bag...and I by that I mean he just stuff his clothes into a crocodile and carries that.


I hear he just carries his stuff around in the 1872 Cup.

We have a winner! Laugh

He certainly doesn't have much room for anything else given that he also has Strauss in his back pocket...
Strauss wears socks made of Chuck Norris' skin and CDP's nutsacks. 

Strauss is not scared of the dark. The dark is scared of Strauss.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 11:53 am

I couldn't help but notice the plural use on the word nutsack... Erm

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by MacKnocked-on on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 11:54 am

I see Jason Robinson's son has been named in the Scotland RL squad.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 12:04 pm

George Carlin wrote:
RDW_Scotland wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:
cakeordeath wrote:
RDW_Scotland wrote:
George Carlin wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:Absolutely brilliant. Tears in my eyes reading that.

I’m with Dr James Robson, the Lions legend, and Stuart Hogg, who thinks he’s a Lions legend.

Very Happy
Stuart Hogg with a Louis Vuitton bag. I wonder which Edinburgh player loaned him that?

So is Hogg an Edinburger in disguise or will Jimbo have to alter his view that only Edinburgh are bunch of pampered jessies?

I can't see Cornell Du Preez carrying a Luis Vuitton bag!

CDP has a crocodile skin bag...and I by that I mean he just stuff his clothes into a crocodile and carries that.


I hear he just carries his stuff around in the 1872 Cup.

We have a winner! Laugh

He certainly doesn't have much room for anything else given that he also has Strauss in his back pocket...
Strauss wears socks made of Chuck Norris' skin and CDP's nutsacks. 

Strauss is not scared of the dark. The dark is scared of Strauss.


I've never considered being "not scared of the dark" as particularly tough. Maybe in the Glasgow squad.....

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by George Carlin on Mon 08 Aug 2016, 1:07 pm

RDW_Scotland wrote:I couldn't help but notice the plural use on the word nutsack... Erm
Josh has big feet...

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Tue 09 Aug 2016, 2:10 pm

Jonny Gray and Henry Pyrgos have been named co-captains of Glasgow Warriors for the 2016/17 season.

Gray took over from former captain Al Kellock last year and the 22-year-old went on to lead the Warriors to the GUINNESS PRO12 Play-Offs.

Pyrgos has captained Glasgow Warriors and Scotland on a number of occasions. The 27-year-old scrum-half led his country in the recent 21-16 win over Japan in Tokyo and against Ireland and USA last year.Jonny Gray and Henry Pyrgos will lead the side next season

Speaking to Warriors TV, the Scotland internationals said they were both honoured to have been asked to lead the side for the upcoming campaign.

Jonny Gray said: "It’s a massive honour to have been named co-captain. Glasgow is a club I love and it’s where I’m from.

“We have a number of leaders throughout the squad and guys who have captained before, but it’s great to have Henry there with his experience and his knowledge of the game.

“He’s captained Scotland and is a great guy, so it’s an honour to share the captaincy with him."

Henry Pyrgos said: "I care a lot about this club and it’s an exciting thing for us to be co-captains. I think it’ll be an added bonus for the team, to help us get to where we want to go.

"It's going to be slightly different to what I’ve done before, but we get on really well.

“It’s great that I’m captaining with Jonny and there are a lot of other senior guys in the squad who drive standards and lead by example."

Speaking to glasgowwarriors.org, head coach Gregor Townsend added: "We were really impressed with Jonny's development as team captain last season and we believe having co-captains will make us even stronger this year.

It's great that we have a number of leaders throughout our squad and both captains will have a lot of support.

"The complimentary strengths of Jonny and Henry should enable us to get closer to reaching our potential."

Spread the leadership load or a hint that Jonny is still a bit too raw to take it all on himself?

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by George Carlin on Tue 09 Aug 2016, 2:52 pm

Yes, I think it's recognition that Jonny was probably overplayed last season and the simple fact is that he won't be on the field the whole time. 

To be club captain, line-out called and poster boy is a lot. It doesn't feel to me that Jonny was quite as destructive this year as last year. That's a combination of being a marked man (Maro Itoje won't find it as easy next season despite the euphoria about him) and a long international and domestic season.

It's smart of Toonie and good for the club.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Tue 09 Aug 2016, 4:26 pm

angel scored a cracking individual effort as part of GB's comfortable win over Kenya in the first round of the 7s

Second game against Japan is 9pm tonight - worth a watch.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Tue 09 Aug 2016, 5:16 pm

Japan just beat NZ, so they'll be tough to beat.

As for the J Gray/Pyrgos decision, both lack the testicular fortitude to handle the pressure on their own, so a problem shared is a problem halved.

Mike Coman didn't need a co-captain. Just saying.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by George Carlin on Tue 09 Aug 2016, 6:21 pm

funnyExiledScot wrote:Japan just beat NZ, so they'll be tough to beat.

As for the J Gray/Pyrgos decision, both lack the testicular fortitude to handle the pressure on their own, so a problem shared is a problem halved.

Mike Coman didn't need a co-captain. Just saying.
It just shows a different approach to captains, I feel.

Coman was surrounded by the heft of his Cloak of Crapness which is why it was never necessary to replace him.
Al Kellock never got his knees muddy and became a dependably available captain that way.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by George Carlin on Tue 09 Aug 2016, 6:51 pm


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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Wed 10 Aug 2016, 10:39 am

George Carlin wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:Japan just beat NZ, so they'll be tough to beat.

As for the J Gray/Pyrgos decision, both lack the testicular fortitude to handle the pressure on their own, so a problem shared is a problem halved.

Mike Coman didn't need a co-captain. Just saying.
It just shows a different approach to captains, I feel.

Coman was surrounded by the heft of his Cloak of Crapness which is why it was never necessary to replace him.
Al Kellock never got his knees muddy and became a dependably available captain that way.

That's not fair. I heard that he used to get James Eddie to rub mud into his knees at half time just to make him look more authentic.

I wonder whether Coman has taken his Cloak of Crapness with him to London Irish, or whether it is now an official Edinburgh Rugby heirloom (we do love such things in Edinburgh). Sadly it would have fitted Andries Strauss perfectly and it's probably a bit snug on Duncan Weir. My suspicions are that Sasa Tofilau and Solomoni Rasolea may well share the honour.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Wed 10 Aug 2016, 12:38 pm

New Edinburgh kit



I'll reserve full judgement until you can see the detail but I quite like it at first glance!

Most worryingly though, the picture suggests Ross Ford is captain - that would be a mistake.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Wed 10 Aug 2016, 1:27 pm

It's "The Brotherhood" tagline that concerns me. It sounds a bit Masonic!

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by Hazel Sapling on Wed 10 Aug 2016, 1:42 pm

Is the black meant to be chain mail?


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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Wed 10 Aug 2016, 1:51 pm

funnyExiledScot wrote:It's "The Brotherhood" tagline that concerns me. It sounds a bit Masonic!

Edinburgh's branding has been a bit confused of late. Last year's kit was launched with the #knights hashtag due to the chainmail, but it wasn't clear whether that was our new nickname or club branding or whatever - there was no mention of it in a formal announcement. The club and players then sporadically used the #knights hashstag over the course of the season without the fans ever really knowing if that was now a 'thing'!

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by George Carlin on Wed 10 Aug 2016, 2:52 pm

It shies away from the screamingly homosexual chainmail nightclub wear which was last year's efforts - something that disappoints me as it retreats from what Edinburgh is all about - overly-engineered, effete mince with a heavy reliance on a nostalgic past. 

You could spend hours captioning the above picture. 

Unavoidable to assume that Hardie is wondering why he is not captain and, indeed, why he should listen to anything that Ford says.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by EWT Spoons on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 8:14 am

George Carlin wrote:It shies away from the screamingly homosexual chainmail nightclub wear which was last year's efforts - something that disappoints me as it retreats from what Edinburgh is all about - overly-engineered, effete mince with a heavy reliance on a nostalgic past. 

You could spend hours captioning the above picture. 

Unavoidable to assume that Hardie is wondering why he is not captain and, indeed, why he should listen to anything that Ford says.

Have you heard Hardie speak? He's as dynamic sounding as a wet paper bag. Cracking player, but I reckon his team mates would fall asleep if they had to listen to him for any period of time.

Also I don't know the lad, but he doesn't come across as the sharpest tool in the box (not that Ford does either) so there is that to consider.

I hope Ford isn't captain, he's only ever failed when we've tried to give him that responsibility before. The obvious choices would be Gilco &/or Manu, assuming either of them can stay fit long enough.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by George Carlin on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 8:20 am

Haha, yes Hardie has been doing a Whispering Bob Harris impression in every interview that I've seen him in.

I would really like to see Manu take the captaincy. Surely his must be the first name on the team sheet every week?

If that Edinburgh pack can stay fit, they will be even more formidable than last year. 

(I am assuming that nobody has poached Willem Nel in the off-season, incidentally)

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 8:34 am

Ross Ford is the only player in history to get his team marched back 10m by speaking to the ref, even though he was captain!

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by EWT Spoons on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 9:11 am

Could be rubbish (and going by the source it likely is) but according to someone on the Edinburgh Rugby Forum, Huw Jones was at Edinburgh airport at the start of the week.

Might not be true, or it might be true but mean absolutely nothing and he's just over for a holiday. Either way, there is a lot of speculation over there as to what this could possibly mean.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 9:19 am

Given that he's probably got family here, and the SR season has ended, it is not beyond the realms of possibility that he was just here on holiday!

I'd be delighted if he signed as we're still lacking top class at 13, but we have got solid enough options if we have to do without him.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by Senlac on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 11:17 am

That can't be right. All good backs have to sign for Glasgow! It's the law!

On another note, am I the only person who is thoroughly bored waiting for the season to start?

I hate wishing my life away, but all I find myself doing every day at work is sitting counting down the days to the 3rd September!

I'm sure I never used to do that when we were mince!

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by Hazel Sapling on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 11:26 am

I think I am going to manage to go to the Quins game next weekend (20th) to see how the squad players get on. £10 for tickets near the 22 and £25 for the tickets at halfway for those in London. Quite reasonable for the Stoop. Usually they are a lot more.

As for Jones, he could do with a move. Stormers did not play him enough last season and next season does not look much better. Glasgow may be a good place if Horne is moving more full time to 10. Heck if Glos want him to steadily build a Scots backline, I am happy. Newcastle are short of centres as well.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 4:22 pm

Interesting interview with Rory Scholes today - apparently he has been brought to Edinburgh as a 15, which puts a bit of a different complexion on our back 3 resources:

15 - Scholes, Kinghorn, Bryce
11/14 - Brown, Hoyland, Helu, Northam

I'd probably rather see Scholes on the wing as we have 2 promising young fullback needing gametime, but if he as at fullback then at least it should mean two Scottish wingers playing...

Edinburgh Rugby wrote:New recruit Rory Scholes is settled in his new city and is ready to prove his worth in an Edinburgh Rugby shirt in the fast-approaching season.



Scholes, 23, who joined from Ulster in the summer, is among a number new signings in the backline including Duncan Weir, Solomoni Rasolea, Sasa Tofilau, Glenn Bryce and Alex Northam.

Speaking in Edinburgh’s Grassmarket at the launch of the club’s new kit, he said: “I feel I’ve settled in fairly quickly. It was made easy for me as the boys and coaches have been great, and it’s all been pretty seamless.

“I love this city as well, so I’m doing everything I can to get myself fully settled here.”

The back, who is vying for the number 15 jersey, feels the strength and depth developing in the Edinburgh backline is a cause for excitement, and is looking forward to the challenge of competing against Blair Kinghorn and Glenn Bryce for game time in the full-back berth.

“It’s going to be tough [competition to play at full-back]. The other two boys [Kinghorn and Bryce] are brilliant, but there’s going to be rotations and injuries, and whenever I get the chance to play, I’ll look to play well and hopefully get the chance to stay in the spot.”

“Alan Solomons has given me the opportunity to play at full-back, which is something I want to do. It’s the position I enjoy the most and somewhere I feel I play well.

“I’m going to try my hardest to push for some regular game-time. I’m happy to play on the wing, but it’s a good string to my bow to be able to play well at both positions.”

With three exciting young talents competing for the same spot, it’s a real indication of the direction the side are moving.

Solomons’ summer recruits have brought further strength and depth to the squad, and Scholes hails the work and wisdom of Assistant Coach Duncan Hodge, who he sees as instrumental in further progressing the Edinburgh attack.

“If you watch Edinburgh over the last two years, the attack has evolved, especially with the introduction of Duncan Hodge.

“This is his first full pre-season and he’s been doing a lot of good work. He’s been brilliant since I’ve been here and the stuff he’s put in place seems to be working well in training.

“We’re looking to improve even more attacking-wise this year, and with the new faces in the backs and the forwards, there’s going to be a good balance across the team.”

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by Hazel Sapling on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 4:33 pm

Kinghorn to 10 and Bryce to play 13?

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 4:33 pm

I'm slightly surprised by that but I can see the sense, plus Kinghorn covers 10 as well and I'd have no concern with Bryce on the wing. Lots of options. Time will tell whether any of them are any good.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 4:35 pm

I can't see Kinghorn playing 10 any time soon - he didn't feature there last season despite having 0 standoffs, I don't think he will get much gametime now that we have 2!

Plus I think his rangey style is best suited for 15.

You are right FES that there are plenty options - that suggests depth but if they are all rank average then it doesn't really count! Hopefully a few of the youngsters will really break through this season.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by jimbopip on Thu 11 Aug 2016, 8:03 pm

Greetings from the kingdom of the moose.
We were queuing for a ride, as it were, and got chatting to a family from Jesmond. Amazingly they claimed never to have of the Brumeister! Mind you the father was complaining of a bad back so I'm confident he's come across the Hagia Sophia. Anyhow, their angelic eight year old told us that the Scotland squad had been training at her school's swimming pool they had attended a school assembly where her class sang " Flower Of Scotland" and a number of the players were crying.
I didn't ask if she noticed a bald old man muttering "Let's kill a few Thumpers. Then you'll have something to cry about"

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:27 am

jimbopip wrote:Greetings from the kingdom of the moose.
We were queuing for a ride, as it were, and got chatting to a family from Jesmond. Amazingly they claimed never to have of the Brumeister! Mind you the father was complaining of a bad back so I'm confident he's come across the Hagia Sophia. Anyhow, their angelic eight year old told us that the Scotland squad had been training at her school's swimming pool they had attended a school assembly where her class sang " Flower Of Scotland" and a number of the players were crying.
I didn't ask if she noticed a bald old man muttering "Let's kill a few Thumpers. Then you'll have something to cry about"

The image of Cotter sitting on a log in full hunting gear, holding a massive knife, is one I suspect the Scotland players frequently wake up to in a cold sweat!

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:34 am

Alas Jim Hamilton has come into some criticism (especially about the rabbit bit) from those who take things too seriously so had to say on Twitter that his story was grossly exaggerated for comedic effect!

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by funnyExiledScot on Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:02 am

Yeh, I'm sure it was. In other words, Stuart Hogg's bag was in fact Gucci rather than Louis Vuitton.

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Re: Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XII - Twelve Monkeys

Post by RDW_Scotland on Fri 12 Aug 2016, 1:35 pm

Edinburgh have an open training session this afternoon and are putting on an inter-squad game - there are some interesting head to heads!

Black

Sutherland
McInally
Berghan
McKenzie
Toolis
Fihaki
Watson
Manu

Kennedy
Weir
Helu
Burleigh
Tofilau
Brown
Scholes

Red

Beavon
Ford
Nel
Charmical
Gilchrist
Turner
Ritchie
Bradcury

Hidalgo-Clyne
Tovey
Fowles
Rasolea
Dean
Fleming
Kinghorn

Some key points

- Long terms absentees Gilchrist, McKenzie and Manu are back, which is very good.  Gilchrist particularly surprising - hopefully he can get through a feckin training game without breaking his arm again!

- All our signing seem to have arrived, including Rasolea.  Usually SR players don't come until at least October

- Hopefully they are just minor injuries to other players, but we're having to play a 9 on one wing, a 7s player on the other and a hooker at 6!

My money is on Black!

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