The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by seanmichaels on Wed 25 May 2016, 10:50 pm

First topic message reminder :

Dad passed away yesterday. Mowing a lawn at the time. Spent some time with him and very peaceful.

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Post by seanmichaels on Thu 26 May 2016, 11:27 pm

Our overseas has gout Jeff. Apparently runs in family. He can't walk, ankle. Ot pmayi v buf we top of league with 3/3. Seconds. also 3/3

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Post by seanmichaels on Thu 26 May 2016, 11:31 pm

Dunno what I just wrote there?

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Post by JuliusHMarx on Fri 27 May 2016, 12:40 am

seanmichaels wrote:Dunno what I just wrote there?

You wrote "Ot pmayi v buf we top of league with 3/3. Seconds. also 3/3"

I once wrote a poem with the word 'gout' in it.

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Post by rick_dagless on Fri 27 May 2016, 6:28 am

Did you ever end up with the drunk property law guy supes?

Morning notches, fist

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 7:08 am

rick_dagless wrote:Did you ever end up with the drunk property law guy supes?

Morning notches, fist

Sicond.

Was that the guy with dark hair and glasses - David something or other? Had to speak to him once as I was really late in applying to get on diploma course and he had to ok my application. He was quite good about it.

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Post by rick_dagless on Fri 27 May 2016, 7:09 am

No he was ok, it was the fat guy that got sacked after 2nd year, Bob or something I think.

I used to like the scary Criminology woman as well, she was cool, but scary...

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 7:17 am

Was always a fan of Ian Willock - looked a bit like a cross between John Merrick and Sam the Eagle out of the Muppets.

He had a habit of embarking on boring 40 minute monologues during Criminal Law honours seminars and then suddenly looking down at his register, picking a name at random and then asking that person what they thought about what he'd just said.

It was a good preparation for living with a woman.

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Post by Rowley on Fri 27 May 2016, 7:19 am

https://youtu.be/FscIgtDJFXg

It's the bank holiday, be happy.

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Post by rick_dagless on Fri 27 May 2016, 7:20 am

superflyweight wrote:Was always a fan of Ian Willock - looked a bit like a cross between John Merrick and  Sam the Eagle out of the Muppets.  

He had a habit of embarking on boring 40 minute monologues during Criminal Law honours seminars and then suddenly looking down at his register, picking a name at random and then asking that person what they thought about what he'd just said.  

It was a good preparation for living with a woman.    

Haha I think I remember him, did you used to drink in the Globe then? Or did you eschew student bars as you were a local?

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 7:25 am

Used to stop by in the Globe every now and then. I mostly drank in the old West Port Bar and then later in Mickey Coyles. Same guy managed both and I knew him quite well - a lot of the regulars followed him when he left the West Port and went to Mickeys. Also played for Mickey's sunday league team in the Welfare League.

I worked in the Phoenix for a while but hardly ever drank there.

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 7:35 am

Morning Jeff - isn't gout all to do with dehydration?

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Post by rick_dagless on Fri 27 May 2016, 7:42 am

Micky Coyles was the first bar I went into, I used to play for the Globe Sunday league team and Earlier Popl Nero, but used to drink more down at Droughthy Neebers and the Perth road end, used to date a girl that worked in there.

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Post by Rowley on Fri 27 May 2016, 7:46 am

superflyweight wrote:Morning Jeff - isn't gout all to do with dehydration?  

Think it is related to poor diet and lifestyle. I'll read up on it when I'm having my kebab this evening.

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 7:53 am

Drouthy's was always pretty decent - they used to have Duff beer on tap didn't they? Tended to be in there before going to "Do this and Do That" and then "Taste" as we didn't want the manager of our sunday league team to see us off our faces on what we assumed were E's but were most likely just a speed and ketamine cocktail.

If those are the reasons jeff, the fact that I don't have gout is a medical miracle.

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Post by rick_dagless on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:01 am

It did have Duff on i think, I used to go to Taste and Do this Do That, vaguely knew the scrawny N-Irish bird that used to PR it, though later went to foundation...


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Post by Rowley on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:04 am

Why do sky sports news feel they cannot build up to a big game without featuring some bell end 'super fan'?

Just shown us round some hull fan's shed he has converted into a Hull themed bar. Cockwomble.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:05 am

Can we start a thread for law students who went to Dundee from 1996 - 2000?

Morning all.

When arthropods grow, they must molt their exoskeleton. Since the exoskeleton of an arthropod is a rigid structure, it must be shed and replaced periodically to enable growth. This shedding process is known as molting or ecdysis and consists of a series of four stages. First, enzymes are secreted that loosen the old exoskeleton layers. Second, the new exoskeleton layers are secreted. Third, the old exoskeleton splits and falls off. Finally, the new exoskeleton hardens and sets.

Jeff has gout. L*l out loud.

Didn't Henry VIII have gout?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:14 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
When arthropods grow, they must molt their exoskeleton.  Since the exoskeleton of an arthropod is

Best one so far.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:15 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
When arthropods grow, they must molt their exoskeleton.  Since the exoskeleton of an arthropod is

Best one so far.

Thanks, Jules.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:23 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
When arthropods grow, they must molt their exoskeleton.  Since the exoskeleton of an arthropod is

Best one so far.

Thanks, Jules.

I would have preferred the English spelling of 'moult'. Otherwise it makes it look like you cut and pasted it from a web-site, rather than having the knowledge stored away in your mind. I'm sure that wasn't the case, though, because it would shatter the morale of the culture cup if it were.

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:24 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Can we start a thread for law students who went to Dundee from 1996 - 2000?

Morning all.

When arthropods grow, they must molt their exoskeleton.  Since the exoskeleton of an arthropod is a rigid structure, it must be shed and replaced periodically to enable growth. This shedding process is known as molting or ecdysis and consists of a series of four stages. First, enzymes are secreted that loosen the old exoskeleton layers. Second, the new exoskeleton layers are secreted. Third, the old exoskeleton splits and falls off. Finally, the new exoskeleton hardens and sets.

Jeff has gout.  L*l out loud.

Didn't Henry VIII have gout?

Plato once said that "astronomy compels the soul to look upward, and leads us from this world to another."

That's what that thread would be like.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:33 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
When arthropods grow, they must molt their exoskeleton.  Since the exoskeleton of an arthropod is

Best one so far.

Thanks, Jules.

I would have preferred the English spelling of 'moult'. Otherwise it makes it look like you cut and pasted it from a web-site, rather than having the knowledge stored away in your mind. I'm sure that wasn't the case, though, because it would shatter the morale of the culture cup if it were.  

Nope, it was obviously cut and pasted, Jules. Despite the filth that our resident jihadist peddles about me, I'm not, and have never claimed to be, a bug expert. I'm a bug enthusiast. Nothing more than that.

I don't walk round with this sh*t in my head. I am merely a facilitator of the wonderful, spectacular and diverse world of bugs.

If that damages the morale of the CC, then that is a cross I will have to bear.

I'd like think Jeff's gout will keep morale high for a while.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:37 am

I think such an honest and frank admission overcomes the fact that you don't actually know anything about bugs. Morale remains intact, especially with Jeff's gout.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:37 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:I think such an honest and frank admission overcomes the fact that you don't actually know anything about bugs. Morale remains intact, especially with Jeff's gout.

Thank f*ck for that.

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Post by JuliusHMarx on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:38 am

Step Right This Way

The bearded lady
Has scars on her wrists
She cries as they tell her the news
And the clown with his gout
And his oversized feet
Can’t fit in his oversized shoes.

The dwarf stands tall
Takes a drink from his flask
Then coughs up the phlegm in his chest
And the dog-faced boy
Rips off his dog-collar
And washes the blood from his vest.

The world’s strongest man
Is just a dead weight
As he struggles to pick up his cue
The Siamese twins
Have been glued down one side
But that part is hidden from view.

The juggler’s a struggle
Her strap’s ‘round the jugular
Jake hid her pills in his chest
While the man with no limbs
Just stares dead ahead
No worse off than all of the rest.

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:39 am

Can't get much more old school Yorkshire than having gout.

All Jeff needs now is for TSMR to get a bunion and for them to have a child with polio to be peak Yorkshire.

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Post by Rowley on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:40 am

I'm glad I could help out. Obviously for selfish reasons I'd prefer not to have any illnesses, however if I must have one my preference is very much that I have one that causes a level of amusement on here.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:40 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:Step Right This Way

The bearded lady
Has scars on her wrists
She cries as they tell her the news
And the clown with his gout
And his oversized feet
Can’t fit in his oversized shoes.

The dwarf stands tall
Takes a drink from his flask
Then coughs up the phlegm in his chest
And the dog-faced boy
Rips off his dog-collar
And washes the blood from his vest.

The world’s strongest man
Is just a dead weight
As he struggles to pick up his cue
The Siamese twins
Have been glued down one side
But that part is hidden from view.

The juggler’s a struggle
Her strap’s ‘round the jugular
Jake hid her pills in his chest
While the man with no limbs
Just stares dead ahead
No worse off than all of the rest.

Lovely stuff, Jules.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Fri 27 May 2016, 8:41 am

Rowley wrote:I'm glad I could help out. Obviously for selfish reasons I'd prefer not to have any illnesses, however if I must have one my preference is very much that I have one that causes a level of amusement on here.

It's made me love you just a tiny bit more, Jeff.

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 10:30 am

Windowsed to f*ck. After such a promising start.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Fri 27 May 2016, 10:33 am

superflyweight wrote:Windowsed to f*ck.  After such a promising start.  

Yeah, we need another 20 posts about bars and lecturers in Dundee to kick things off again.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Guest on Fri 27 May 2016, 10:41 am

Surely things will kick off in any bar in Dundee

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 11:03 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Windowsed to f*ck.  After such a promising start.  

Yeah, we need another 20 posts about bars and lecturers in Dundee to kick things off again.

Sure - I'll pull together some of the better stories about Dundee. I might also be able to spice things up with some pop star related anecdotes.

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Post by Guest on Fri 27 May 2016, 11:48 am

superflyweight wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Windowsed to f*ck.  After such a promising start.  

Yeah, we need another 20 posts about bars and lecturers in Dundee to kick things off again.

Sure - I'll pull together some of the better stories about Dundee.  I might also be able to spice things up with some pop star related anecdotes.
Top 20 bars where the proclaimers would get their heads kicked in if they showed their faces?

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Post by rick_dagless on Fri 27 May 2016, 12:05 pm

Anywhere on the lawhill for a start...

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Post by Rowley on Fri 27 May 2016, 12:29 pm

superflyweight wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Windowsed to f*ck.  After such a promising start.  

Yeah, we need another 20 posts about bars and lecturers in Dundee to kick things off again.

Sure - I'll pull together some of the better stories about Dundee.  I might also be able to spice things up with some pop star related anecdotes.

I don't have any new pop star related anecdotes but was in a bar recently in Sheffield and former Sheffield Wednesday striker David Hirst was in there. Given they feature in the play offs this weekend seemed the appropriate time to hit you with that zinger.

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Post by JuliusHMarx on Fri 27 May 2016, 12:34 pm

Cracking story Jeff. I once had WBA's John Wile's autograph.

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 12:45 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Anywhere on the lawhill for a start...

Indeed - not a place for anyone who doesn't want to get punched in the face on a night out. I lived in a flat at the bottom of the Hilltown for a while and it was like Fort Apache!

The Rock in Charleston is an interesting pub and I don't think the Proclaimers would do too well in there - Duncan Ferguson once got beat up in the Rock just for being Duncan Ferguson.

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Post by superflyweight on Fri 27 May 2016, 12:47 pm

Great story Jeff.  I once spoke to newly appointed Dundee United manager, Ray Mckinnon in a nightclub in Dundee.  We spoke briefly about his time with Nottingham Forest (he was Clough's last ever signing) and more extensively about Alan Stubbs (who had just signed for Celtic).

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Post by Pal Joey on Fri 27 May 2016, 9:21 pm

Fly'd it, Fly.

Well, not really. It's almost the weekend for most of you. It's just gone 6:06am here 15 minutes ago so I thought I'd do a post about right now.

I got up early to watch the "friendly". Nice to watch these games with no stakes involved... except for bragging rights of course.
Only 2 goals down so not a disgrace. Ahh, the barking canaries got a goal back. You beauty!

Been doing an extension for a relatively well known identity who has a summer house not far from Summer Bay. It's basically a 30° sloping site from the street down to the house and waterfront.

They have a fancy cable car to get them down to the front door... a ride down through a palm grove set amidst a wild overgrown jungle comprised of exotic invasive plants from places like South America and Africa. A huntsman's paradise. Hell of a way to get down there. Kind'a scary actually.

You can (literally) feel deadly things lurking in the undergrowth and under floors and eaves. You really wouldn't want to be sifting through the landscape with bare hands and feet... turning over rocks and suchlike... for any length of time.

Tino, you'd love it.
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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 31 May 2016, 6:47 am

FIST NOTCHES

Good morning VIETNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM

Greetings Rick the routed and Rowley the gouted

All good in the hood?

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Post by rick_dagless on Tue 31 May 2016, 6:50 am

All is indeed good my friend, how was the long weekend?

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 31 May 2016, 6:54 am

Lovely, did the square root of f*ck all. Hassan was silent mostly and giggly at times which made for a relaxing weekend for me and the wife. Nice for her to enjoy the quiet before she goes back to handmilling the corn. how was yours? Get a lot of gaming in?

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Post by rick_dagless on Tue 31 May 2016, 7:04 am

I did get quite a bit of gaming in yesterday, I had an interleague pool match on Sunday, Saturday I was out all day then BBQ at night and Friday did nack all for a change, so all in all a cracking weekend cheers!

Even managed to get some of the boxing in which was nice, chuffed for Burns and Bellew to be fair.

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Post by Rowley on Tue 31 May 2016, 7:32 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCV7tl_V-cY

morning notches

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Post by ShahenshahG on Tue 31 May 2016, 7:43 am

Same here although Bellew is a Tinkywinky. Just caught the knockout as I had to pop out for an hour or so to help my friend in his restaurant. An hour turned into an hour and a chicken Tikka kebab roll and that turned into an hour and a chicken tikka kebab roll with an added nostalgia trip. Mango and mint chutney is f*cking awesome.

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Post by rick_dagless on Tue 31 May 2016, 7:52 am

Bellew can be a bell end, but from what I gather that is a persona, and is actually quite a decent chap so please for him.

Morning Jeffers

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 31 May 2016, 8:07 am

Good morning.

A fear of insects is known as entomophobia.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rick_dagless on Tue 31 May 2016, 8:44 am

Morning Tino, 'sup.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 31 May 2016, 9:07 am

rick_dagless wrote:Morning Tino, 'sup.

I met a couple of your pals, riCK.

I met a Tom Dacre and a Ben Cullen. Both from Northwich. Very nice chaps actually. Mid to late 30's so may well have been around when you were. I was f*cking hammered by around 21:00 though so the rest of the night is a mystery. Did pop into the Bears Paw in Frodsham on Sunday though for a few straighteners. You've been in there before haven't you?

I asked if they knew a Rick Dagless but neither of them did. That makes me think that you either don't exist or your real name isn't Rick Dagless.

Mind the windows Tino.
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