The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by miaow on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 11:54 am

*Lions 2017 Tour to New Zealand*


Head Coach
: Up to you!
Defence Coach: Does it matter!?
Attack Coach: It could be you!
Forwards Coach: Who cares!?


That's right, it's the thread for all your Lions discussion without the burden of reality! Don't like the idea of Warren Gatland as Head Coach? Then worry no more, because all your prayers are answered!

This is the place for all your hyperbolic hypotheticals, the place where New Zealand is as far away figuratively as it is literally! Don't like the look of that Brodie Retallick? Don't worry, we've got F.E.C. Maro Itoje who can outgun him with his added advantage of media hype and the burden of expectation! What's that you say? That Ben Smith looks like a worrisome fellow running the ball back in a broken field? Fear not boys and girls! Don't worry so, for in this realm, we can run the ball with gleeful abandon, safe in the knowledge that nothing bad could ever happen. Let the players express themselves, reach their potential, or at least to have something to put on the DVD!

But what about the fact that the Lions are at such a systemic disadvantage on Tour? That there's only a few weeks to come together and face the World Champions in their own country? Look at them! Just look at them! They're going to destroy us, there's no hope, no chance we could ever-

Shhhh...don't worry about that. Here, try a different kind of black stuff guinness There you go, feels better, doesn't it.  guinness  guinness And another. guinness Mmmm. guinness If you were coach you'd have won 3-0 in Australia? guinness guinness Yes. Thats it. guinness  guinness No, of course it was anti-Irish to drop BOD.  guinness  vomit That's right. guinness  Shhh.  guinness Yes, Phil Vickery could be a good bench option guinness ...no, I haven't seen him play recently either, mind, but I'm sure he'd do a job... guinness

miaow

Posts : 3834
Join date : 2011-03-31

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by tigertattie on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 12:01 pm

Head Coach: Maro Itoje
Defence Coach: Maro Itoje
Attack Coach: Maro Itoje
Forwards Coach: Maro Itoje
Backs Coach: Maro Itoje
Kicking Coach: Maro Itoje
Media Spokesman: Maro Itoje
Waterboy: Jonny Gray
Physio: Don't need one as Maro Itoje is indestructible
tigertattie
tigertattie

Posts : 6822
Join date : 2011-07-11
Location : On the naughty step

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by Scottrf on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 12:04 pm

You're kidding but I probably would rather have Itoje as head coach. At least he has a winning mentality.

Scottrf

Posts : 14018
Join date : 2011-01-26

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by miaow on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 12:10 pm

Scottrf wrote:You're kidding but I probably would rather have Itoje as head coach. At least he has a winning mentality.

You heard it here first.

Donald Trump for Lions Head Coach with Charlie Sheen his unwilling deputy.

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread B1e9d19c_Charlie-Sheen-Winning-Duh

miaow

Posts : 3834
Join date : 2011-03-31

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by IanBru on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 12:48 pm

Head Coach: Jeremy Corbyn
Defence Coach: Gen. James "Mad Dog" Mattis
Attack Coach: Bowser
Forwards Coach: Jim Telfer
Backs Coach: Gregor Townsend
Kicking Coach: Sergio Parisse
Media Spokesman: Mark Kermode
Waterboy: Tom Daley
Physio: Andy Goode
IanBru
IanBru

Posts : 2905
Join date : 2011-04-30
Age : 31
Location : Newcastle

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by SecretFly on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 1:14 pm

Shocked

I think all of you are crazy.

It's a joke thread!  Why are you all taking it so seriously?

SecretFly

Posts : 30915
Join date : 2011-12-12

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by Gooseberry on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 1:50 pm



Head Coach
: Steve Hansen
Defence Coach: Ian Foster
Attack Coach: Wayne Smith
Forwards Coach: Mike Cron

Gooseberry

Posts : 5629
Join date : 2015-02-11

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by Gooseberry on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 1:50 pm

Cant beleive noone has a place for a token Scot

Gooseberry

Posts : 5629
Join date : 2015-02-11

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by SecretFly on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 1:52 pm

Gooseberry wrote:

Head Coach
: Steve Hansen
Defence Coach: Ian Foster
Attack Coach: Wayne Smith
Forwards Coach: Mike Cron

laughingYahoo laughing

Now, at least you're getting into the spirit of things, Goose.

SecretFly

Posts : 30915
Join date : 2011-12-12

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by GunsGermsV2 on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 2:00 pm

Brian O'Driscoll should be brought to New Zealand to fill the Alistair Campbell role as head of PR. He should be invited on the pitch to place a leaf in front of the Haka or some nonsense like that to annoy everyone from New Zealand.

I think Steve Walsh should also be brought out of retirement to ref every game provided he abuses as many people as possible.

Schalk Britts should be taken along as Owen Farrell's personal assistant/face slapper.

Ill be disapointed if the Lions dont burn an effigy of Tana Umaga at least once as part of their pre-match ritual.

Dwarf-throwing, wife cheating and harbour jumping should be arranged as standard for the England players to boost morale.

Clive Woodward will be appointed to the newly created dual head of arrogance/anti-Wales role to build confidence and promote equality in the squad.

I think we need to as as much spice to the utterly flavourless Warrenball fest as possible to prevent fans from falling asleep.


Last edited by GunsGermsV2 on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 2:11 pm; edited 2 times in total

GunsGermsV2

Posts : 2550
Join date : 2016-11-15

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by tigertattie on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 2:08 pm

Gooseberry wrote:Cant beleive noone has a place for a token Scot

Ehhhhhh I think you'll find my waterboy is Scottish!

tigertattie
tigertattie

Posts : 6822
Join date : 2011-07-11
Location : On the naughty step

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by rodders on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 2:14 pm

miaow wrote:
Scottrf wrote:You're kidding but I probably would rather have Itoje as head coach. At least he has a winning mentality.

You heard it here first.

Donald Trump for Lions Head Coach with Charlie Sheen his unwilling deputy.

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread B1e9d19c_Charlie-Sheen-Winning-Duh

Fake news.
rodders
rodders
Moderator
Moderator

Posts : 25295
Join date : 2011-05-20
Age : 38

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by LondonTiger on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 2:22 pm

Alternative facts.

LondonTiger
Moderator
Moderator

Posts : 21581
Join date : 2011-02-10

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by SecretFly on Wed 08 Feb 2017, 2:31 pm

Head Coach: Lord D
(More a motivator coach than a hands-on one.  Good interpersonal skills and never one to turn up to a press-conference without a line or two to take the pressure off the players)

Defence Coach: Luckless
(Noble, stoic soul that knows how to down a running flourish by some smug young backs with too much attitude.)

Attack Coach: PhillBB
(Let's face it - no coach has a better record in attack)

Forwards Coach: Griff
(sensible coach, pragmatic coach - a coach that likes keep the train moving forward rather than getting bogged down in last year's playbooks)

Waterboy: Ian Bru
(well.................. no explanation needed)

SecretFly

Posts : 30915
Join date : 2011-12-12

Back to top Go down

The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread Empty Re: The Fantasy Lions 2017 Thread

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum