PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

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PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Wed 10 May 2017, 2:23 pm

First topic message reminder :

Technical problems here at Ballwasher Controls so will post what I can and may return later:

1).Only saw the final hour of last weekend's Wells Fargo play from Eagle Point, but an exciting finish and the course looked terrific - the golfers seemed to enjoy it and they may get to return in 2021 when the Presidents Cup is staged at Quail Hollow. Super win for Brian Harman, almost a local lad, (as he also will be this week) and not much rust on DJ's game.

2).Disappointed to see the Team Europe challenge fizzle, but promising work from Molinari and Noren, while McDowell seems to be running into form. Rahm is relentless, this just in, but possibly not this week.
Another good experience too for Seamus Power - hopefully he can capitalise on his good play by stitching together four good rounds instead of two or three, perhaps at the Byron Nelson as he'll be sitting it out this week.

3).I like The Players Championship and I've grown to enjoy the course, especially the Par-5's. We'll see some changes this week, with Par-4's #6 and #7 being modified and the Par-4 12th shortened to be driveable - that's the intention anyway but reports from practice rounds suggests that player strategy will be dictated largely by the pin positions (and wind obviously). It always seemed to be a sleeper of a hole, fall asleep and bogey awaits, but the Tour clearly wanted a driveable Par-4 and now it has one, though it all looks a bit contrived to me.

4).TPC Sawgrass is a Pete Dye creation of course, the third in five weeks, and demands at least as much precision as pure power which makes wins by Woods and Jason Day all the more impressive. I still like course specialists here and McDowell (100/1 ish) & Molinari (50/1) are two who are worth looking at. And Sergio excels, with two runners up finishes as well as his 2008 win.

5).The Tour announced yesterday that the FedEx Cup sponsorship contract would be renewed for another ten years; and also announced that there are no immediate plans to revert The Players to March. Even if the key word there is "immediate", I still like this May date, though the Tour's March schedule continues to be questionable.

6).Bizarre caddie/player goings on with Willett and Tweeter Murray both changing their partnerships, in seemingly abrupt fashion. Danny Willett certainly needs something to turbo-charge his season which has been a bit of a waste so far - he's going to find it increasingly difficult to stop a rankings free-fall.

7).A couple of Major Championship qualifying dates to take note of:
US Open: owgr Top 60 as at May 22nd qualify. There's a second bite at that cherry on June 12th.
Open Championship: owgr Top 50 on May 29th.

8).The weather looks reasonably good for the week, there's extensive TV coverage, the fridge is full of brewskis, what's not to like about this week?


Last edited by kwinigolfer on Mon 15 May 2017, 9:49 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by navyblueshorts on Mon 15 May 2017, 3:49 pm

Shotrock wrote:I also don't understand the hatred of the 17th. It's a very large green, played from a short distance, but if you miss it's a two shot penalty (unless, of course, you go JB Holmes on things). Forget the pin, fire for the middle of the green. It's certainly NOT the hardest hole to par on the PGA tour.
True, but it's bloody stupid and when the wind's blowing and the surfaces are firm....
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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Mon 15 May 2017, 3:51 pm

Good for Poults:

http://www.golfchannel.com/news/golf-central-blog/poulter-takes-issue-with-chamblee-comments

Another Golf Channel hack is also going after Poulter for his course strategy over #16 and #17. Probably an editorial agenda which would prefer Poults had hit into the drink on both.


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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Mon 15 May 2017, 3:56 pm

Sr,

I could sympathize with that if the penalty for hitting what would normally be a decent shot that hits a firm spot on the green and dribbles into the water wasn't so severe - I really don't see the point of that, and the follow up from the drop area is no bargain for most hole placements.
As it is, it would be better off in the Hillbilly Fun Park.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by Shotrock on Mon 15 May 2017, 4:00 pm

Navy - Lots of holes are difficult in the wind and in firm conditions. (Like the "Postage Stamp".)

Facts are facts and it's not as difficult to par as numerous other par 3 holes.

It is also a relatively uninteresting hole to me (given the all or nothing option).

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by GPB on Mon 15 May 2017, 4:01 pm

The only thing I would do to the 17th hole is grow the rough around the perimeter about 1" taller and 6" wider. The way, a ball that hits the green is probably going to stay on land, unless it is really poorly struck.

The penalty for a marginal shot (ball hits green, rolls into the water) and bad shot (never had chance to hit land) are equal with the current set up.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Mon 15 May 2017, 6:58 pm

A turn out of decidedly mixed quality for this week's Byron Nelson:
Highlights:
~Dustin, Day, Spieth, Koepka, Kuchar, Ryan Moore, Oosthuizen, Reed, Schwartzel, Zanotti

~Gonzo, Sergio, Freddie Jac, Greg Owen, Poulter, Power

No Beef, no Soren Kjeldsen, no Lowry, among those sorely in need of a good tournament or two.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by pedro on Mon 15 May 2017, 7:04 pm

The socalled drivable 12th was a bit of a flunk. 9/10 layed up.

In defense of the chasing pack on Sunday the windy conditions made it a bit difficult to attack. And with all the water in play a small mistake could easily cost two strokes.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by pedro on Mon 15 May 2017, 7:36 pm

So Vijay "the D-Spray" Singh's caddie called it quits now seeking 'gainful employment'. Guess that doesn't include Grayson Murray.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by Shotrock on Mon 15 May 2017, 9:12 pm

A number of years ago I was a volunteer at a PGA tournament. I saw Vijay take a 10' x 10' square down to the dirt. 4 straight hours at the driving range without a break (except for an occasional sip of water). His caddie was with him the entire time, changing out clubs, tossing him balls, handing him tees, etc. If I was that caddy, coming to work stoned would be necessary. If the buzz wore off, I would be sure and have spiked brownies as a backup.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Mon 15 May 2017, 9:45 pm

Sounds like Rory's "back" discomfort is a recurrence of his rib injury earlier this year.
Status going forward tba with Wentworth his next commitment, but you'd think he'd want to play somewhere before US Open action.

PS: Si Woo Kim wasting no time getting with the galactico schedule. Already withdrawn from his Byron Nelson commitment - which is staged in the town that he lives.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by navyblueshorts on Tue 16 May 2017, 8:29 am

kwinigolfer wrote:Sounds like Rory's "back" discomfort is a recurrence of his rib injury earlier this year.
Status going forward tba with Wentworth his next commitment, but you'd think he'd want to play somewhere before US Open action.

PS: Si Woo Kim wasting no time getting with the galactico schedule. Already withdrawn from his Byron Nelson commitment - which is staged in the town that he lives.
picard What ridiculous behaviour. I suppose he's 'tired'....
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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by Roller_Coaster on Tue 16 May 2017, 9:00 am

GPB wrote:The only thing I would do to the 17th hole is grow the rough around the perimeter about 1" taller and 6" wider.  The way, a ball that hits the green is probably going to stay on land, unless it is really poorly struck.

The penalty for a marginal shot (ball hits green, rolls into the water) and bad shot (never had chance to hit land) are equal with the current set up.

clap

I quite like it. Yes it's a somewhat artificial theatre for drama, but if you ask any touring pro if it's a difficult hole I'd be amazed if even 1% said it was so.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by beninho on Tue 16 May 2017, 9:07 am

navyblueshorts wrote:
kwinigolfer wrote:Sounds like Rory's "back" discomfort is a recurrence of his rib injury earlier this year.
Status going forward tba with Wentworth his next commitment, but you'd think he'd want to play somewhere before US Open action.

PS: Si Woo Kim wasting no time getting with the galactico schedule. Already withdrawn from his Byron Nelson commitment - which is staged in the town that he lives.
picard What ridiculous behaviour. I suppose he's 'tired'....

I dont see why its ridiculous at all, its common knowledge that he has struggled with injuries, and his back was causing him some pain during his win. Im guessing he would have played through it as he needed the results, but he can now miss it and pick and choose his events. Seems pretty sensible to me.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by navyblueshorts on Tue 16 May 2017, 9:49 am

beninho wrote:
navyblueshorts wrote:
kwinigolfer wrote:Sounds like Rory's "back" discomfort is a recurrence of his rib injury earlier this year.
Status going forward tba with Wentworth his next commitment, but you'd think he'd want to play somewhere before US Open action.

PS: Si Woo Kim wasting no time getting with the galactico schedule. Already withdrawn from his Byron Nelson commitment - which is staged in the town that he lives.
picard What ridiculous behaviour. I suppose he's 'tired'....

I dont see why its ridiculous at all, its common knowledge that he has struggled with injuries, and his back was causing him some pain during his win. Im guessing he would have played through it as he needed the results, but he can now miss it and pick and choose his events. Seems pretty sensible to me.
Clearly, not a lot of pain or influence on his movement. Still, if true, makes sense I guess not to make anything worse.
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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by super_realist on Tue 16 May 2017, 10:04 am

Can't blame him for taking the next week off.
If you've just won the biggest comp of your life, how motivated are you to enter something akin to a Wednesday Sweep the next week?

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Tue 16 May 2017, 11:48 am

Kim's played 19 tournaments so far this season, only half a dozen have played more, 20 events for all of them.
Just surprised that, if he's going to skip an event he's committed to, it's one in a town where he lives.
None of which detracts from his great play at the TPC.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by navyblueshorts on Tue 16 May 2017, 12:00 pm

super_realist wrote:Can't blame him for taking the next week off.
If you've just won the biggest comp of your life, how motivated are you to enter something akin to a Wednesday Sweep the next week?
It's the commitment S_R. If he's previously said he'd play, he should play. Did he 'commit' with a get-out clause stipulating that in the event he won the Players he reserves the right not to fulfil that commitment? I doubt it. I can understand why he may no longer feel the need to play, but I'm not sure I agree with it.
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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by super_realist on Tue 16 May 2017, 12:05 pm

Are people not allowed to change their minds Navy?

Have you never changed your mind on an event you were due to attend?

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by McLaren on Tue 16 May 2017, 12:15 pm

Not sure why we are beating up on Kim as it is pretty normal for a player to skip at least one event after winning a biggie.  Garcia skipped everything after the Masters until The Players®
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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by Roller_Coaster on Tue 16 May 2017, 12:30 pm

McLaren wrote:Not sure why we are beating up on Kim as it is pretty normal for a player to skip at least one event after winning a biggie.  Garcia skipped everything after the Masters until The Players®

Willett has missed everything since the Masters 16 hasn't he?

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Tue 16 May 2017, 12:41 pm

Mac,
Which events was Sergio committed to that he skipped? Thought so.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by McLaren on Tue 16 May 2017, 1:49 pm

What does "committed to" even mean? I doubt they have signed a contract which states they got to play. If the Sergio example was too raw pick any other player who has skipped events after a major win.
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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by super_realist on Tue 16 May 2017, 1:52 pm

McLaren wrote:What does "committed to" even mean?  I doubt they have signed a contract which states they got to play.  If the Sergio example was too raw pick any other player who has skipped events after a major win.

You sound more mid-atlantic than Graham McDowell Mac.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by GPB on Tue 16 May 2017, 2:14 pm

Are there any noteworthy black golfers from either the UK or continental Europe?

There have been several black tennis players from Europe, mainly France (Monfils, Noah, Tsonga) but I don't know of any black golfers from Europe.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by super_realist on Tue 16 May 2017, 2:22 pm

GPB, I don't think there are. There are hardly any black golfers from Africa, so I wouldn't expect many from Europe.
There's very few from America either come to think of it.

There aren't many black golfers in general, just as there aren't many black swimmers, darts players, snooker players, rowers, cyclists, skiers, F1 drivers, . You can't necessarily blame golf though if that's what you're getting at.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by GPB on Tue 16 May 2017, 2:31 pm

Other than South Africa (and we know its checkered history), there are very few golfers in total from Africa and very few golf courses.

Can't claim that excuse about England.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Tue 16 May 2017, 2:40 pm

There are British European Tour pros of Asian origin.
And Beef Johnston has Jamaican ancestors.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by super_realist on Tue 16 May 2017, 2:41 pm

Then you have to ask the same question of America don't you?

America has lots of ski resorts, why no prominent black skiers?

Not like there are lots of black American golfers is there? 9C and Finau and er, that's it. In fact as far as I can see there's actually NO African American golfers on tour. They're all mixed race from what I recall.

Isn't it more to do with what appeals to black culture?

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by McLaren on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:13 pm

Super

Don't you mean "they sure don't look like negros to me"?
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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by GPB on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:17 pm

There is also Harold Varner III.

The reason why I am asking, another blog, this really obnoxious anti-American Brit is race baiting

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by GPB on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:20 pm

Back in the 1970's and 1980's there were a lot more black American Golfers on tour than there has been in the last 20 yrs.

Jim Dent, Lee Elder, Calvin Peete and Jim Thorpe. Calvin Peete and Jim Thorpe were two of the five leading money winners in the same season.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by super_realist on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:22 pm



You can't have a go about the lack of black golfers from Britain when there are next to none in America where there are many millions more golfers.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by navyblueshorts on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:36 pm

super_realist wrote:Are people not allowed to change their minds Navy?

Have you never changed your mind on an event you were due to attend?
Of course. He can do what he wants. It's not illegal. I reserve the right, however, to think it might have let someone down at his next event. The same as I might expect someone thinking I was going to something they'd organised might be disappointed if I pulled out, having already committed to go. What's so hard to understand about that?
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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by navyblueshorts on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:38 pm

McLaren wrote:Not sure why we are beating up on Kim as it is pretty normal for a player to skip at least one event after winning a biggie.  Garcia skipped everything after the Masters until The Players®
The fact that it's apparently 'normal' says quite a lot.
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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by super_realist on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:39 pm

Well it's fine, but I sincerely doubt there will be any fans who are going to the Byron Nelson who would want a refund or who think the competition will be worse of because Kim isn't playing. Not like he's a big draw.


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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by Shotrock on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:46 pm

Maybe Kim is worried about the "high media expectations" that got Rahm so out of sorts.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:48 pm

McLaren wrote:What does "committed to" even mean?  I doubt they have signed a contract which states they got to play.  If the Sergio example was too raw pick any other player who has skipped events after a major win.


Mac,
I'm sure there are exceptions that you can use to prove your rule, but I think you'd be surprised how seldom a golfer reneges on a tournament commitment the week following a big win. They may be "independent contractors" but only the thickest amongst them don't appreciate that you meet the same people on the way down as you did on the way up. Glad to see that Poults is on schedule to tee it up.

"Commitments" are important for marketing and hospitality plans, not to say tournament status; of course players withdraw, for all sorts of reasons, but Si Woo has played virtually every event he could have done, and sure his presence would have been a big deal in big D.

Sr,
Good point Rolling Eyes

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by Shotrock on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:50 pm

I know ... Let's coddle these players ... especially the non Americans! Good grief.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by GPB on Tue 16 May 2017, 3:58 pm

FWIW, I did include the entire European continent in my inquiry.

I ignored the strawman's argument of snowskiers, and swimming.



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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by super_realist on Tue 16 May 2017, 4:01 pm

It's not a strawman. America doesn't have a statistically significant number of black golfers either, which you demonstrated by mentioning a no-mark like Varner and harking back to Calvin Peete

I presume you didn't mean to compare Europe and America and were in fact making a point about the lack of black golfers in general.
My point about skiing, swimming and rowing as examples was used to suggest there might be something more to it than the insinuation there is something "wrong" or "exclusive" about golf which is holding back black players from participating.

There's tons of sports in which there is little or no black participation.

Ever thought there might be a bit more to it?

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by GPB on Tue 16 May 2017, 4:26 pm

I don't put snowskiing and swimming in the same sport subset as golf.  Very little of sports fandom care about those sports, other than every four years in the Olympics.  

This Brit that I blog is making the case that racism is the reason why there is a small black representation in American professional golf.

Then what's the explanation of NO black representation in European professional golf.  

As I said in that blog, Golf in the 1950s and 1960's was racist.  Very racist.  No doubt about it.  As repugnant as that is, golf was only a microcosm of the American Culture at the time.  America was racist country.  England and the rest of Western Europe was allegedly more progressive yet there has never been a notable black golfer come from Europe and AFAIK, never been a Euro Black golfer even in the OWGR rankings.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Tue 16 May 2017, 4:41 pm

GPB,

Tell your Brit blogger that he's a pillock and ignore him/her.

But my post earlier about British golfers of Asian and Jamaican descent still applies.

Talking of Tsonga, as you were, he's one of only three players to have beaten each of Andy Murray, Rafa, Roger and Novak in Grand Slam play. Who are the other two?


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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by I'm never wrong on Tue 16 May 2017, 5:21 pm

kwinigolfer wrote:
Talking of Tsonga, as you were, he's one of only three players to have beaten each of Andy Murray, Rafa, Roger and Novak in Grand Slam play. Who are the other two?


Is one of them Nishikori?

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Tue 16 May 2017, 5:27 pm

GPB,
Any disparity in participation of sports seems to me to be cultural rather than racist.

The more grey-haired amongst us may remember Ricky Heppolette, an Indian yute who burst onto the English footie scene in the late sixties. It was widely thought his example would encourage the Asian population in Britain to be more active in footie but fifty years later that hasn't happened, although that same population is prominent in other sports.

In the US you have the decline of African American participation in baseball, probably less than half of what it was forty years ago.


PS: Inw: Not yet!

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by Diggers on Tue 16 May 2017, 6:21 pm

I'm never wrong wrote:
kwinigolfer wrote:
Talking of Tsonga, as you were, he's one of only three players to have beaten each of Andy Murray, Rafa, Roger and Novak in Grand Slam play. Who are the other two?


Is one of them Nishikori?

Don't remember Delpo beating Murray in a slam, Cilic might be a good bet.
Are they all still active?

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by I'm never wrong on Tue 16 May 2017, 6:33 pm

Stan the man?

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by GPB on Tue 16 May 2017, 6:41 pm

Poulter is playing the BMW PGA next week.

This is what he tweeted last year.

Ian Poulter Tweet wrote:I've played 13 PGA's at Wentworth and had 1 Top 10. I've had 8 MC. Would Usain Bolt compete in a marathon. I didn't think so.... Enough said

https://twitter.com/IanJamesPoulter/status/590562727963295745

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by I'm never wrong on Tue 16 May 2017, 6:46 pm

GPB wrote:Poulter is playing the BMW PGA next week.

This is what he tweeted last year.

Ian Poulter Tweet wrote:I've played 13 PGA's at Wentworth and had 1 Top 10. I've had 8 MC. Would Usain Bolt compete in a marathon. I didn't think so.... Enough said

https://twitter.com/IanJamesPoulter/status/590562727963295745

I like Poulter, and wish him well. I too, wondered about his change of mind. Just looked at other stories, and he says that the changes made to the course, especially the greens have tempted him to play. make of that what you will.

P.S. Looking at that twitter thread, there are comments from Josh aka @JeffCarnage. I wonder if it's the same person that frequented the 606 boards?

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by kwinigolfer on Tue 16 May 2017, 6:50 pm

Inw / Digs:
Stan the Man is one. Not Cilic or Delpo


Poults is a busy boy, still in the Byron Nelson I think - he was quoted as saying he'd be spending a lot of the summer "in the UK"; You'd think he'd do whatever he felt he needed to to qualify for Birkdale, what with being a runner up there last time, 'n all.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

Post by Diggers on Tue 16 May 2017, 7:14 pm

Berdych? Can't see it though.

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Re: PGA Tour: The Fifth Major, #Alternative Facts: Notes from the Ballwasher

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