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Eleven Films That Have Seriously Misleading Titles (And A Few That Don't)

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Eleven Films That Have Seriously Misleading Titles (And A Few That Don't) Empty Eleven Films That Have Seriously Misleading Titles (And A Few That Don't)

Post by Galted Fri 24 May 2013, 9:10 am

Eleven films that have seriously misleading titles:

Trainspotting
No, it's not about a fat middle-aged man perched on the end of the platform at London Bridge with a notepad & thermos, having a furtive w@nk when the 15:54 to Orpington goes past. It's about smackheads.

Three Men & A Baby
Sounds like it should feature Jimmy Savile, Gary Glitter & an, as yet unnamed, BBC presenter. But it doesn't, it's just a sh1t film.

Three Men & A Little Lady
Similar to above. Why couldn't it be called "Three Men & Mila Kunis"?

Jaws
Wasn't really about jaws, was more about the couple of tons of great white shark attached to the jaws & the hundreds of teeth at one end of the aforementioned great white shark. Title suggests the film is about a three-way conversation between Jimmy Hill, Jay Leno & Quentin Tarantino.

Cloverfield
Seriously, wtf?

Fanny By Gaslight
Don't bother, massive disappointment.

Fanny & Alexander
See above.

Alive
Eh? Most of them were dead!

A Clockwork Orange
It's about Beethoven, ultra-violence & the state removing the ability of the individual to make moral choices, not about the latest limp-wristed Turner prize nomination.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
Nothing's eating Gilbert Grape, Gilbert is fine (it's really just Johnny Depp looking pensive & moody).

400 Blows
400?! There's not even one! Stick with Deep Throat.


And three that don't:

Kick-Ass
Yup. Should really have been called "Serious Kick-Ass".

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?
This film does actually exist, though there's no need to watch it after reading the title.

Dude Where's My Car?
Dude can't remember where he parked his car which is like… totally not awesome.


And one that sort of does:

Sling Blade
Karl has a sling blade (some people call it a Kaiser blade but Karl calls it a sling blade). Karl is a bit of a nutter. Doyle annoys Karl. Karl kills Doyle with a lawnmower blade. Mmm.
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Post by Stella Fri 24 May 2013, 12:58 pm

Nice ones Galted clap

The Great Escape - Most died/got caught.

American Pies 2/3/3.... - No pies.

City Slickers - Those three were far from slick.
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Post by Hero Fri 24 May 2013, 1:09 pm

The Silence of the Lambs

Anyone expecting a Welsh farmer, over sized wellies and some gaffatape will be bitterly disappointed.

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Post by Hero Fri 24 May 2013, 1:11 pm

Reservoir Dogs

Not even canals and cats involved.

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Post by Hero Fri 24 May 2013, 1:12 pm

Die Hard

He didn't die and unless he got off on the adrenalin rush of being shot at I don't think he was hard.

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Post by Hero Fri 24 May 2013, 1:13 pm

Snatch

Yeah not going there.

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Post by Stella Fri 24 May 2013, 1:14 pm

Goodfellas - They were naughty fellas
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Post by Shot 21 LCFC Fri 24 May 2013, 1:21 pm

The Shining - nothing shines.

Green Street - not a green street in sight.

Blade Runner - there is no f*cking ice skating!!

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Post by Guest Fri 24 May 2013, 1:51 pm

The NeverEnding Story - it ends.

The Karate Kid (2010) - kid learns Kung Fu.

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Post by Galted Fri 24 May 2013, 2:02 pm

clap

good choices people - no longer will 606 v2ers have the wool pulled over our eyes by film studios
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 24 May 2013, 2:14 pm

Ah Galted, you and your alternative film universe. Good work again.

Blade Runner - Although Darryl Hannah has a passing resemblance to Reeva Steenkamp, Harrison Ford looks nothing like Pistorius.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Enforcer Fri 24 May 2013, 2:14 pm

Hero wrote:The Silence of the Lambs

Anyone expecting a Welsh farmer, over sized wellies and some gaffatape will be bitterly disappointed.

As a Welshman, I was.

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Post by Enforcer Fri 24 May 2013, 2:15 pm

Ron Burgundy: Anchorman

No nautical weights of any kind were involved in this film.

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Post by Kenny Fri 24 May 2013, 3:11 pm

Tyrannosaur

Anyone expecting a Jurassic Park spin off will be left disappointed
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Post by Kenny Fri 24 May 2013, 3:17 pm

Million Dollar Baby

Not about the most expensive surrogacy in history
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Post by Kenny Fri 24 May 2013, 3:19 pm

Free Willy

it's about a whale ? wtf
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Post by Kenny Fri 24 May 2013, 3:21 pm

The Constant Gardener

Not Alan Titchmarsh's life story
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Post by Kenny Fri 24 May 2013, 3:22 pm

The Squid and The Whale

no squid , no whale
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Post by Stella Fri 24 May 2013, 3:50 pm

Marathon Man - No chocolate bars in sight
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Post by dummy_half Fri 24 May 2013, 4:00 pm

Escape to Victory - They won BEFORE they escaped.

127 hours - pretty sure the film was a bit under 2 hours (unlike the closing scenes in the LOTR, which were 127 hours long).

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Post by Shot 21 LCFC Fri 24 May 2013, 4:41 pm

Bit of a 2 Pac film related theme:

Poetic Justice - this is not a film about a crime fighting poet!!

Juice - not about fruit being pressed into a liquid form.

Gridlock'd - no traffic jams!!

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Post by Kenny Fri 24 May 2013, 5:23 pm

dummy_half wrote:Escape to Victory - They won BEFORE they escaped.

127 hours - pretty sure the film was a bit under 2 hours (unlike the closing scenes in the LOTR, which were 127 hours long).

The game finished 4 - 4 so there wasn't even a victory !
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Post by TinRibs Fri 24 May 2013, 9:51 pm

Falling Down - Nobody comically falls down anywhere.


One Flew Over a Cuckoo's Nest - No cuckoos, no nests and certainly no flying mental patients.
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Post by Stella Fri 24 May 2013, 10:00 pm

Pretty Woman - It had Julia Roberts
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Post by Kenny Fri 24 May 2013, 10:57 pm

Cheaper by the Dozen

seriously ? it costs me a fortune feeding 2
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Post by Kenny Fri 24 May 2013, 11:19 pm

Twister

very disappointing to find out no-one was putting left hand on red , right foot green
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Post by TinRibs Fri 24 May 2013, 11:46 pm

Kenny wrote:Twister

very disappointing to find out no-one was putting left hand on red , right foot green

Or that no-one was eating a green and white stripey ice cream.
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Post by superflyweight Sat 25 May 2013, 6:44 am

Shag - turned out to be a film about an American dance craze.

Chariots of Fire - no chariots, no fires - bunch of f'ing jokers!

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Post by Guest Sat 25 May 2013, 1:45 pm

Mission Impossible. There was a mission but it turned out to be possible.




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Post by Adam D Sat 25 May 2013, 3:24 pm

Howard's end.

Thankfully it wasn't about the titular anatomical part.

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Post by ONETWOFOREVER Sat 25 May 2013, 8:32 pm

Gone in 60 seconds: I counted this film at 1hr 45mins.


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Post by kingraf Sat 25 May 2013, 9:01 pm

Snow White- Imagine my shock when I realised it wasnt about Winter.

White Men Cant Jump- Only to be shown for two hours that they can

Lord of the Rings: The Return of The King- Okay, it might have been correct, I dont know wasnt awake for long enough to find out.

The Terminal- I was convinced I was about to watch a film about a man with terminal cancer.

Forrest Gump- Had very little to do with a forrest, or GUMP ( G - Gas U - Undercarriage M - Mixture P - Propeller)

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Post by superflyweight Sun 26 May 2013, 11:27 am

Philadelphia - had sod all to do with cream cheese.

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Post by Galted Sun 26 May 2013, 11:39 am

superflyweight wrote:Philadelphia - had sod all to do with cream cheese.

Just got back from Sainsbury's & was going to mention Philadelphia - I'm sure you can imagine my anger when I saw that you'd beaten me to it.
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Post by superflyweight Sun 26 May 2013, 11:49 am

I feel for you, man!

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Post by Derbyblue Sun 26 May 2013, 4:27 pm

Layer Cake - A cake was never shown.

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Post by Mr Bounce Mon 27 May 2013, 10:31 pm

The Cannonball Run. No sign of any cannons at all. Just Burt Reynolds & Dom DeLuise in a souped up ambulance with a weird Doctor & Farraf Fawcett plus a couple of chicks in tight fitting bodysuits in a Lamborghini. At least the Gumball Rally had some gumballs in it.

And as Clarkson once said, the "reboot" of The Italian Job (that rubbish Marky Wahlberg movie which was really a BMW marketing tool for the new Mini...), it wasn't in Italy and there was no "job" so it should have just been called "The".

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 Mon 27 May 2013, 10:31 pm

Halloween 3

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Post by WhiteCamry Wed 29 May 2013, 7:27 pm

Primary Colors - Nothing about an art class at all.

Enter the Dragon - The dragon missed his cue! Where was he for 90 minutes?

Nowhere Boy - Does Liverpool count as "nowhere"? Honestly?

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Post by Kenny Wed 29 May 2013, 7:36 pm

Fast Five - There was no sign of Abs, J , Ritchie , Scott or Sean giving up food

Safe House - Safe ? everyone got shot !

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Post by Il Gialloblu Wed 29 May 2013, 8:09 pm

Eleven Films That Have Seriously Misleading Titles (And A Few That Don't) 48913_slide

Eleven Films That Have Seriously Misleading Titles (And A Few That Don't) 48907_slide
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Post by compelling and rich Wed 29 May 2013, 9:05 pm

man on fire - i was expecting some religious protest flick


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Post by Guest Thu 30 May 2013, 3:59 pm

The Warriors - No sign of Carl Froch anywhere

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Post by TRUSSMAN66 Thu 30 May 2013, 4:08 pm

Alien 3...........There was only one in it..

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Post by compelling and rich Thu 30 May 2013, 11:26 pm

Wall e - I was expecting a film about the childhood classic football game played against a wall

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Post by TinRibs Sat 01 Jun 2013, 1:16 pm

Pulp Fiction - A slapstick comedy involving a caricature of Jarvis Cocker it was not!

Signs - I was disappointed to find that it wasn't two hours of examining the history of Britain's highway code.

Star Wars - Not a Royal Rumble between Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Elvis, Buddy Holly, Arnie and others, you say?
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Post by Kenny Sat 01 Jun 2013, 3:41 pm

compelling and rich wrote:Wall e - I was expecting a film about the childhood classic football game played against a wall

Brilliant clap
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