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The Museum of Socal's Metaphors

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Post by HM Murdock Thu 01 Aug 2013, 11:55 pm

I had to get it started!

Socal is like the liquored up 1950s executive who can't resist to pinch the voluptuous backside of the cute office girl here in represented by 606v2's federer fans. And they played their part perfectly, they blushed, a few even slapped out at Mr. Socal leacherous advances, but in the end all they could do was blush, stalk out of the room and cry themselves to sleep. While Socal and his good ole boy buddies laugh it up at the water cooler. Ahh the 50s wasn't it grand?

criticizing Federer is treated worse than giving the pope a wedgie

It is pretty funny though the fed fans laughing up on Novak and Murray fans for excuse making. That is like the midget laughing at the dwarf.

It is just strange craig in that I have quoted people like Agassi, Mac, and Sampras about the strength of today's game and you would think by the reception it received here on 606v2 that I walked into a crowded elevator and ignited a pile of week old dog poo and human hair.

Here we go hypothetical world tour finals round Robin:

Fed
Hitler
Stalin
Ghenghis Khan

I hope Fed goes 0-6 in sets, because some of his fans online are so charming.

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Post by socal1976 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 12:44 am

Thanks Murdoch, even though I look slightly deranged with these quotes, it is always nice to be appreciated.

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Post by socal1976 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 12:45 am

Quite of few of these metaphors are ass or feces related, I am sure Dr. Freud would have something to say about that.

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Post by HM Murdock Fri 02 Aug 2013, 7:56 am

I don't see what is even controversial about this, it is like saying my dog's farts smell bad. Only V2 posters would argue that no my dog's bunts smell like Chanel No. 5.

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Post by time please Fri 02 Aug 2013, 8:02 am

Well done Murdoch!

The following are not in the same league as the 1950s executive or the wedgie assault on the Pope, but still it would be a shame to lose them in the back pages Laugh :

You guys are free to open up your threads stroking Federer, and I should be free to sit there and make farting noises in the back of the auditorium while you speak.

I don't see what is even controversial about this, it is like saying my dog's farts smell bad. Only V2 posters would argue that no my dog's bunts smell like Chanel No. 5.

You're right there is a theme going on here socal! Oh just saw you beat me to it with one HM!

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Post by lydian Fri 02 Aug 2013, 8:32 am

Haha....bloody...ha Laugh
Had me laughing out loud reading some of those turn of phrases again.

Socal, clearly you're a "booty" man, lol.
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Post by lydian Fri 02 Aug 2013, 8:39 am

I am the one trying to get this thing on the platonic basis you are the one who wants to cruise in limo with two 6ft blondes...not that anything is wrong with that
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Post by HM Murdock Fri 02 Aug 2013, 8:49 am

The metaphor doesn't come in until the end but I had to include the preceding text as it features four of our favourite characters.

Some of us will not turn our eyes from the truth in order to be nice to the Empanada Dave, One shot Andy, Dodgy hip Lleyton, and the Russian playboy. Federer couldn't have assembled a team of "rivals" lol! more suited to the task of racking up grandslams if he was ole Honest Abe Lincoln himself selecting his own cabinet.

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Post by time please Fri 02 Aug 2013, 9:58 am

Great finds lydian and HM lol.

I know there is more out there but I'm struggling to find - would be easier if each posters page extended beyond 5 pages - (you've been very restrained recently socal Wink )

I did find this piece of fantasy extravaganza; socal in a satirical, and unashamedly chauvinistic, frame of mind:

Once I tabulated the results and determined that this match fails on all 7 factors of the new math of tennis greatness i was sent into a tailspin of melancholy that would make Edgar Allan Poe look like a cheery fellow for some light conversation. After a couple of hours on the suicide hotline and an emergency injection of lithium and xanax I have been able to recover enough of my faculties to type this post. Is this what ladies feel like during their monthlies? Boooooooo, hoooooooooo, whooaaaaa is me, whooaaaa is tennis.

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Post by lags72 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 10:33 am

Some great quotes - not least the one in HMM's 8.49am post.

You really can't help but laugh at the way in which former multi-Slammers and World Number ones are routinely dismissed by socal with labels of such withering disrespect that anyone unaware of their stellar achievements in the sport could be forgiven for thinking they were county-standard players.

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Post by banbrotam Fri 02 Aug 2013, 12:48 pm

lags72 wrote:Some great quotes - not least the one in HMM's 8.49am post.

You really can't help but laugh at the way in which former multi-Slammers and World Number ones are routinely dismissed by socal with labels of such withering disrespect that anyone unaware of their stellar achievements in the sport could be forgiven for thinking they were county-standard players.


Normally you're on the money with your comments by that is bunkum!! And 100% bunkum as well. Socal does not or at least has rarely, castigated the greats of the past. They get hacked off at the ridiculous rose tinted glasses they get which is matched by the polar opposite poor views that Novak gets

It's simply a matter of respect. It's easy Novak doesn't get enough (for instance Murray gets more) and Roger gets so much - you would think he's the Pope. One thing done for "charitee" and off we go about how great he is. One naughty statement from Nole's dad and then all Novak's younger hot headed days utterances are exposed again. It is quite ridiculous why posters don't understand that it's rank hypocrisy and the likes of me, Socal, CC etc will 'go on about it' whenever it rears it's ugly head

Your line plays into Socal's hands and is just lazy - Socal has mentioned a zillion times how much he respects Roger's achievements

If you're going to slate a poster at least get the reasoning correct:picard: 

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Post by banbrotam Fri 02 Aug 2013, 12:49 pm

Great article by the way. It shows that Socal remains arguably are most energetic and lively poster and long may it live

Particularly if Andy can keep beating Novak Laugh 

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 02 Aug 2013, 1:19 pm

banbro, are you saying that if a young tennis fan wandered onto these boards and saw "Empanada Dave, One shot Andy, Dodgy hip Lleyton, and the Russian playboy." that they'd think to themselves "Hmmm, that poster really respects those 4 players, I'll have to find out more about them"?

Can't fault the line for entertainment value and quality imagery though Smile

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Post by lags72 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 2:19 pm

You're more than welcome to criticise my post banbro, but I must say I was somewhat bemused by your rationale. Not least, your comment that "It's simply a matter of respect"

Personally I am very clear in my huge respect for players such as Nalbandian who made it as high as World No. 3 (no mean achievement in my book and a tough competitor), Roddick (USO champ and briefly World No. 1), Hewitt (multi-Slammer, youngest-ever World No. 1) and Safin (multi-Slammer, World No. 1).

I won't bother repeating the derogatory terms used by socal to describe these players, but will leave you to decide just how much respect he shows towards them.

At the same time banbro, you might (perhaps?) reconsider your view that my post is "lazy" and "100% bunkum" whilst ironically springing to the defence of socal's dismissive references to former elite players who were good enough to make it to the very top of the sport.

In short, I wonder which is the "lazy" line : my respect for those top pros ; or socal's caustic labelling of them ........ chin

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Post by HM Murdock Fri 02 Aug 2013, 2:27 pm

banbrotam wrote:Particularly if Andy can keep beating Novak Laugh 
Careful banbro! Get on his wrong side and he may point his metaphors at you!Wink

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Post by time please Fri 02 Aug 2013, 2:31 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:banbro, are you saying that if a young tennis fan wandered onto these boards and saw "Empanada Dave, One shot Andy, Dodgy hip Lleyton, and the Russian playboy." that they'd think to themselves "Hmmm, that poster really respects those 4 players, I'll have to find out more about them"?

Can't fault the line for entertainment value and quality imagery though Smile

Honestly banbro - Lags was obviously commenting on the line above and I think you have completely misread the nuance of it.  'routinely dimissed' refers to the summary way that socal deals with the players in the sentence and lags is obviously amused by it.  Nowhere does he suggest that socal does this regularly - that is your interpretation and 'hence' your problem!

Sad note in a humorous thread - what was a lighthearted comment is turned into something else altogether.  Perhaps when you've got a mo you could let us all have a list of how to conform to banbros' code of conduct - clearly we must all be very positive about Murray but we musn't overdo it with Fed lest we turn into mouth foaming pariahs roaming the internet and giving you 'issues'.

Wink

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Post by banbrotam Fri 02 Aug 2013, 3:40 pm

I don't think I have 'missed the point'. I think that most on here constantly miss socal's points, who can - like all of us, get a little too heated for their own good

For instance in that one line been used to show Socal's lack of respect, it's also clear (and I would bet my house on it) that he's responding to someone (yet again) having a go at Djokovic / or thinking that Roger can do no good

So 'lags' given that you were referring to that one line, I apologise. In defence, I did state that you are normally a good poster!!

But I think everyone should take a look at some of the comments Novak gets about his tennis ability / style /demeanour and then understand that this is light years from the easy ride Roger gets

Then what happens is some of us, at poor attempts at humour might use other players to illustrate that Roger isn't perfect

This then always results in the defender getting attacked for having a go at other players - completely missing the point!!!

i.e. I don't think Socal's humourous point is proof of him having a lack of respect for Federer or other greats - he was merely pointing out how easier he had it earlier in his career

But let's have the full transcript - then we can judge. Then again, let's not!!!

What I mean to say is that Socal should be entitled to stand up for the lack of respect Novak has and bemused at the amount of hero worshipping Roger has - without getting accused of lacking respect, merely because he points these things out

Thank goodness the Tennis starts again on Monday!!

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Post by banbrotam Fri 02 Aug 2013, 3:46 pm

 
time please wrote:could let us all have a list of how to conform to banbros' code of conduct - clearly we must all be very positive about Murray but we musn't overdo it with Fed lest we turn into mouth foaming pariahs roaming the internet and giving you 'issues'

Thanks for the opportunity. The "list" is quite simple. Let's respect Novak as much as Roger.

I also seem to remember saying that Andy gets a far easier time than Nole so why have you deduced that "clearly we must all be very positive" about him? chin

I've no issue about negative coments about Andy as long as the same judgment is used for Roger etc - generally speaking, these days it is

I was actually defending one of Andy's rivals, who I think gets way too much hassle, which by definition means that I empathise with Socal's issues

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 02 Aug 2013, 4:28 pm

All that's for another thread surely (including my own post)?

This one is to celebrate socal's use of 'poetic license' regardless of the reasons for it's use. Bubbly 

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Post by socal1976 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 4:47 pm

lydian wrote:Haha....bloody...ha Laugh
Had me laughing out loud reading some of those turn of phrases again.

Socal, clearly you're a "booty" man, lol.

Yes, reading these quotes I had a Freudian realization that my development may have been stunted and the infantile stage in some respects, oh well too old to change now.

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Post by socal1976 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 4:51 pm

Well thanks everybody, this was a very nice thread all around and enjoyed some of your responses. One thing is clear Ghenghis Khan is the GOAT for qualifying for the WTF at over 900 years old, has anyone checked the little mongol for PEDs because I would like what he is having.


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Post by socal1976 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 4:53 pm

On a sidenote, I do give it to the rollover generation a bit too heavy at times for comedic effect and of course all of them were incredible players at some level just not in my mind of the same quality as one would expect from the top handful of players in the world but we digress from the theme of this thread which is butt humor.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 02 Aug 2013, 4:57 pm

I quite like this one
 
socal1976 wrote:The sheer genius of my posts, it is frankly breathtaking

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Post by Jeremy_Kyle Fri 02 Aug 2013, 5:03 pm

banbrotam wrote: 
time please wrote:could let us all have a list of how to conform to banbros' code of conduct - clearly we must all be very positive about Murray but we musn't overdo it with Fed lest we turn into mouth foaming pariahs roaming the internet and giving you 'issues'

Thanks for the opportunity. The "list" is quite simple. Let's respect Novak as much as Roger.

I also seem to remember saying that Andy gets a far easier time than Nole so why have you deduced that "clearly we must all be very positive" about him? chin

I've no issue about negative coments about Andy as long as the same judgment is used for Roger etc  - generally speaking, these days it is

I was actually defending one of Andy's rivals, who I think gets way too much hassle, which by definition means that I empathise with Socal's issues

Which planet are you from??

for me Socal is great entertainment value but limited substance. If posters were tennis players, I'd say he'd be Stachovsky or Mannarino, a lot of nice shots, all in all you know they'll be out in the first round.............Very Happy 
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Post by socal1976 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 5:07 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:I quite like this one
 
socal1976 wrote:The sheer genius of my posts, it is frankly breathtaking


Remember Socal's Universal Maxim Julius, the more you agree with me the higher your chances of being right. I am glad that I have left you breathless.

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Post by invisiblecoolers Fri 02 Aug 2013, 5:23 pm

Jeremy_Kyle wrote:
banbrotam wrote: 
time please wrote:could let us all have a list of how to conform to banbros' code of conduct - clearly we must all be very positive about Murray but we musn't overdo it with Fed lest we turn into mouth foaming pariahs roaming the internet and giving you 'issues'

Thanks for the opportunity. The "list" is quite simple. Let's respect Novak as much as Roger.

I also seem to remember saying that Andy gets a far easier time than Nole so why have you deduced that "clearly we must all be very positive" about him? chin

I've no issue about negative coments about Andy as long as the same judgment is used for Roger etc  - generally speaking, these days it is

I was actually defending one of Andy's rivals, who I think gets way too much hassle, which by definition means that I empathise with Socal's issues

Which planet are you from??

for me Socal is great entertainment value but limited substance. If posters were tennis players, I'd say he'd be Stachovsky or Mannarino, a lot of nice shots, all in all you know they'll be out in the first round.............Very Happy 

+1 notworthy notworthy notworthy 

Post of the thread.

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Post by socal1976 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 5:31 pm

invisiblecoolers wrote:
Jeremy_Kyle wrote:
banbrotam wrote: 
time please wrote:could let us all have a list of how to conform to banbros' code of conduct - clearly we must all be very positive about Murray but we musn't overdo it with Fed lest we turn into mouth foaming pariahs roaming the internet and giving you 'issues'

Thanks for the opportunity. The "list" is quite simple. Let's respect Novak as much as Roger.

I also seem to remember saying that Andy gets a far easier time than Nole so why have you deduced that "clearly we must all be very positive" about him? chin

I've no issue about negative coments about Andy as long as the same judgment is used for Roger etc  - generally speaking, these days it is

I was actually defending one of Andy's rivals, who I think gets way too much hassle, which by definition means that I empathise with Socal's issues

Which planet are you from??

for me Socal is great entertainment value but limited substance. If posters were tennis players, I'd say he'd be Stachovsky or Mannarino, a lot of nice shots, all in all you know they'll be out in the first round.............Very Happy 

+1 notworthy notworthy notworthy 

Post of the thread.

You know your obsession with me is really quite amusing, if you like PM me and I will send you an autographed photo to Invisiblecooler, "my biggest fan".

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Post by time please Fri 02 Aug 2013, 5:58 pm

I thought the point of the thread was to have some frivolous fun without looking for slights or issues - silly moi!

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Post by socal1976 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 6:14 pm

time please wrote:I thought the point of the thread was to have some frivolous fun without looking for slights or issues - silly moi!


I agree TP, at the end of the day we all want to have fun and some laughs and talk a little tennis, great post. But I am a controversial figure I suppose in some circles.

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Post by lags72 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 6:59 pm

banbrotam - as many have said, the thread is clearly intended as a bit of light-hearted ironic humour by way of entertainment during a largely quiet spell on the tour, and I'm pleased to see that this is the general consensus. Thank you for your gracious apology which I am very happy to accept.

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Post by socal1976 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 7:13 pm

lags72 wrote:banbrotam - as many have said, the thread is clearly intended as a bit of light-hearted ironic humour by way of entertainment during a largely quiet spell on the tour, and I'm pleased to see that this is the general consensus. Thank you for your gracious apology which I am very happy to accept.

Yeah lags, as always you are very temperate and a good poster. We can all do well to take some of the posts here in the manner in which they were intended as some friendly ribbing.

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Post by invisiblecoolers Fri 02 Aug 2013, 7:21 pm

socal1976 wrote:
invisiblecoolers wrote:
Jeremy_Kyle wrote:
banbrotam wrote: 
time please wrote:could let us all have a list of how to conform to banbros' code of conduct - clearly we must all be very positive about Murray but we musn't overdo it with Fed lest we turn into mouth foaming pariahs roaming the internet and giving you 'issues'

Thanks for the opportunity. The "list" is quite simple. Let's respect Novak as much as Roger.

I also seem to remember saying that Andy gets a far easier time than Nole so why have you deduced that "clearly we must all be very positive" about him? chin

I've no issue about negative coments about Andy as long as the same judgment is used for Roger etc  - generally speaking, these days it is

I was actually defending one of Andy's rivals, who I think gets way too much hassle, which by definition means that I empathise with Socal's issues

Which planet are you from??

for me Socal is great entertainment value but limited substance. If posters were tennis players, I'd say he'd be Stachovsky or Mannarino, a lot of nice shots, all in all you know they'll be out in the first round.............Very Happy 

+1 notworthy notworthy notworthy 

Post of the thread.

You know your obsession with me is really quite amusing, if you like PM me and I will send you an autographed photo to Invisiblecooler, "my biggest fan".

The person who self praises himself are generally the biggest failures in life.

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Post by HM Murdock Fri 02 Aug 2013, 7:29 pm

I love this one. Two comparable mis-judgements, I'm sure we can all agree.Wink 

Socal1976 wrote:Now at times the weight of popular and journalistic opinion can be wrong like the US media in the run up to the Iraq war or Roger Federer's laughable 8 edberg awards.

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Post by socal1976 Fri 02 Aug 2013, 7:32 pm

HM Murdoch wrote:I love this one. Two comparable mis-judgements, I'm sure we can all agree.Wink 

Socal1976 wrote:Now at times the weight of popular and journalistic opinion can be wrong like the US media in the run up to the Iraq war or Roger Federer's laughable 8 edberg awards.

The consequences of both mis-judgements has been devastating to the global consciousness.

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Post by HM Murdock Fri 24 Jan 2014, 2:29 pm

After a period of absence, he's returned and the record needs updating. Needless to say, the return was marked with a reference to poo...

Socal1976 wrote:If Nadal pooped into a brown paper bag Hawkeye would demand that this masterpiece of modern art be hung at the Pompidou in Paris.

Socal1976 wrote:anyone expecting anything other than Rafa treating Federer like a fat lady at an all you can eat Vegas buffet destroying the shrimp cocktail bar then you are all delusional.

Socal1976 wrote:Can we all just agree on the only logical conclusion that if Nadal can beat Federer tomorrow with practically one fit hand and another hand that looks like something out of a leper colony or 13 year old boy who just discovered internet porn that it will clearly demonstrate his superiority.

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Post by Haddie-nuff Fri 24 Jan 2014, 2:50 pm

HM Murdoch wrote:After a period of absence, he's returned and the record needs updating. Needless to say, the return was marked with a reference to poo...

Socal1976 wrote:If Nadal pooped into a brown paper bag Hawkeye would demand that this masterpiece of modern art be hung at the Pompidou in Paris.

Socal1976 wrote:anyone expecting anything other than Rafa treating Federer like a fat lady at an all you can eat Vegas buffet destroying the shrimp cocktail bar then you are all delusional.

Socal1976 wrote:Can we all just agree on the only logical conclusion that if Nadal can beat Federer tomorrow with practically one fit hand and another hand that looks like something out of a leper colony or 13 year old boy who just discovered internet porn that it will clearly demonstrate his superiority.

Socal it is so good to have someone who is genuinely funny without having to try. You deserve to take centre stage with some of those comments.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 24 Jan 2014, 3:19 pm

Haddie-nuff wrote:
HM Murdoch wrote:After a period of absence, he's returned and the record needs updating. Needless to say, the return was marked with a reference to poo...

Socal1976 wrote:If Nadal pooped into a brown paper bag Hawkeye would demand that this masterpiece of modern art be hung at the Pompidou in Paris.

Socal1976 wrote:anyone expecting anything other than Rafa treating Federer like a fat lady at an all you can eat Vegas buffet destroying the shrimp cocktail bar then you are all delusional.

Socal1976 wrote:Can we all just agree on the only logical conclusion that if Nadal can beat Federer tomorrow with practically one fit hand and another hand that looks like something out of a leper colony or 13 year old boy who just discovered internet porn that it will clearly demonstrate his superiority.

Socal it is so good to have someone who is genuinely funny without having to try.

Ouch!

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Post by Haddie-nuff Fri 24 Jan 2014, 3:29 pm

You see JHM you are assuming i meant you and I didn´t  Very Happy 

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 24 Jan 2014, 3:35 pm

I can't help it - it's my self-inflated ego.

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Post by Silver Fri 24 Jan 2014, 3:55 pm

A few more:

About Andy Roddick, socal1976 wrote:labours around the court with the movement of a pregnant sow

socal1976 wrote:I feel like luke skywalker blowing up the death star whenever the swoosh-wearing pomposity shakes hands with the umpire first

That last one is my all-time favourite, along with the Iraq War & Abe Lincoln nuggets of gold Laugh  socal, never change!

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Post by socal1976 Fri 24 Jan 2014, 7:39 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Haddie-nuff wrote:
HM Murdoch wrote:After a period of absence, he's returned and the record needs updating. Needless to say, the return was marked with a reference to poo...

Socal1976 wrote:If Nadal pooped into a brown paper bag Hawkeye would demand that this masterpiece of modern art be hung at the Pompidou in Paris.

Socal1976 wrote:anyone expecting anything other than Rafa treating Federer like a fat lady at an all you can eat Vegas buffet destroying the shrimp cocktail bar then you are all delusional.

Socal1976 wrote:Can we all just agree on the only logical conclusion that if Nadal can beat Federer tomorrow with practically one fit hand and another hand that looks like something out of a leper colony or 13 year old boy who just discovered internet porn that it will clearly demonstrate his superiority.

Socal it is so good to have someone who is genuinely funny without having to try.

Ouch!

Haddie lol now that was genuinely funny!!! That comment deserves a museum of its own.

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Post by socal1976 Fri 24 Jan 2014, 7:40 pm

HM Murdoch wrote:After a period of absence, he's returned and the record needs updating. Needless to say, the return was marked with a reference to poo...

Socal1976 wrote:If Nadal pooped into a brown paper bag Hawkeye would demand that this masterpiece of modern art be hung at the Pompidou in Paris.

Socal1976 wrote:anyone expecting anything other than Rafa treating Federer like a fat lady at an all you can eat Vegas buffet destroying the shrimp cocktail bar then you are all delusional.

Socal1976 wrote:Can we all just agree on the only logical conclusion that if Nadal can beat Federer tomorrow with practically one fit hand and another hand that looks like something out of a leper colony or 13 year old boy who just discovered internet porn that it will clearly demonstrate his superiority.
Thanks Murdoch you make me chuckle regularly as well. I was almost hoping for a federer win to give the fed fans their chance to dish out some comedy in my direction.

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Post by Haddie-nuff Fri 24 Jan 2014, 8:02 pm

You brightened my day Socal  laughing 

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Post by socal1976 Fri 24 Jan 2014, 8:16 pm

you to haddie, congrats on the routine win by your man.

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Post by Haddie-nuff Fri 24 Jan 2014, 8:26 pm

socal1976 wrote:you to haddie, congrats on the routine win by your man.

Thank you socal...he was lucky   Very Happy   Wink

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 24 Jan 2014, 8:33 pm

Haddie-nuff wrote:
socal1976 wrote:you to haddie, congrats on the routine win by your man.

Thank you socal...he was lucky   Very Happy   Wink

Crikey Haddie - don't say that, socal will be correcting you with a few choice derogatory metaphors thrown your way.
Anyway, he wasn't lucky, he was too good. Smile

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Post by Haddie-nuff Fri 24 Jan 2014, 8:43 pm

You see JHM that was a demonstration of me "trying" to be funny.Hence the winkey 
Of course he was good ..... bliddy good. and I hope he is even better tomorrow  Very Happy

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Post by Haddie-nuff Fri 24 Jan 2014, 8:45 pm

Losing my days.... I mean Sunday lol

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 24 Jan 2014, 8:46 pm

I'm never quite sure what a winkey means. Everyone seems to use it differently.

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Post by socal1976 Fri 24 Jan 2014, 8:50 pm

Haddie-nuff wrote:You see JHM that was a demonstration of me "trying" to be funny.Hence the winkey 
Of course he was good ..... bliddy good. and I hope he is even better tomorrow  Very Happy

LOL, JHM can't recognize comedy if it jumps up and bites him on the backside.

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