The Culture Cup round 6

First topic message reminder :

It's just as funny on the second read.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Maybe if you smarten yourself up a bit and put some false teeth in, she might agree to a date.

Going to work on the assumption she will overlook his personality Tina? I love the optimism.

Steady on. I've told you before I'm quite an amiable chap when I need to be.

Besides, I should only really listen to hipsters like Galted when it comes to wooing East Europeans.

You'd be quite surprised to know how close to the truth you are there, michaels. I've managed, over the last half a year or so, to charm one from that part of the world into being my girlfriend and so far it's fairly disasterless. She's quite fit as well, even my mum would probably reckon she's out of my league (the gf).

Galted wrote:You'd be quite surprised to know how close to the truth you are there, michaels.  I've managed, over the last half a year or so, to charm one from that part of the world into being my girlfriend and so far it's fairly disasterless.  She's quite fit as well, even my mum would probably reckon she's out of my league (the gf).

Since when did brushing ones elbow up against a girls breast on the train constitute having a 'girlfriend'?

Why don't you just f**k off?

 

Galted wrote:  She's quite fit as well, even my mum would probably reckon she's out of my league (the gf).

People say that to me about TSMR, one of the girls at work once asked me if the wife was a chubby chaser. Is quite possibly the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Rowley wrote:

Galted wrote:  She's quite fit as well, even my mum would probably reckon she's out of my league (the gf).

People say that to me about TSMR, one of the girls at work once asked me if the wife was a chubby chaser. Is quite possibly the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Imagine what the friends of TopHat's girlfriends say?

"Are you a fat f*cker follower"?

Galted wrote:Why don't you just f**k off?

You complain that I don't put any effort in, now you're telling me to f*ck off.

You're a little bit unbalanced, Galted.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Imagine what the friends of TopHat's girlfriends say?

 

Sorry Tina, I just don't have the imagination to get to top hat having a girlfriend.

Galted wrote:You'd be quite surprised to know how close to the truth you are there, michaels.  I've managed, over the last half a year or so, to charm one from that part of the world into being my girlfriend and so far it's fairly disasterless.  She's quite fit as well, even my mum would probably reckon she's out of my league (the gf).

Wait a second, you said you were single?

Rowley wrote:

Galted wrote:  She's quite fit as well, even my mum would probably reckon she's out of my league (the gf).

People say that to me about TSMR, one of the girls at work once asked me if the wife was a chubby chaser. Is quite possibly the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Not sure about that, Rowley, have read worse said to you on these threads, or do you mean "said" as in "spoken"?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Why don't you just f**k off?

You complain that I don't put any effort in, now you're telling me to f*ck off.

You're a little bit unbalanced, Galted.

A bit of chit-chat in the morning about Innocent Smoothies and green tea is all I ask for.

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:You'd be quite surprised to know how close to the truth you are there, michaels.  I've managed, over the last half a year or so, to charm one from that part of the world into being my girlfriend and so far it's fairly disasterless.  She's quite fit as well, even my mum would probably reckon she's out of my league (the gf).

Wait a second, you said you were single?

I was.

I'd probably still say it out of habit.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Imagine what the friends of TopHat's girlfriends say?

 

Sorry Tina, I just don't have the imagination to get to top hat having a girlfriend.

Surely there are girls out there who can see beyond his staggering blubber and get through to the scintillating personality and charm that he has?

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Galted wrote:  She's quite fit as well, even my mum would probably reckon she's out of my league (the gf).

People say that to me about TSMR, one of the girls at work once asked me if the wife was a chubby chaser. Is quite possibly the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Not sure about that, Rowley, have read worse said to you on these threads, or do you mean "said" as in "spoken"?

Was not including PM's between the rest of you.

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:You'd be quite surprised to know how close to the truth you are there, michaels.  I've managed, over the last half a year or so, to charm one from that part of the world into being my girlfriend and so far it's fairly disasterless.  She's quite fit as well, even my mum would probably reckon she's out of my league (the gf).

Wait a second, you said you were single?

That was before he managed to pull a matryoshka doll. Probably claim he has six kids now.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Imagine what the friends of TopHat's girlfriends say?

 

Sorry Tina, I just don't have the imagination to get to top hat having a girlfriend.

Surely there are girls out there who can see beyond his staggering blubber and get through to the scintillating personality and charm that he has?

Too much malice in that son. Please untie your father and let him back on the computer, I'll buy you a rottweiler for christmas.

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:You'd be quite surprised to know how close to the truth you are there, michaels.  I've managed, over the last half a year or so, to charm one from that part of the world into being my girlfriend and so far it's fairly disasterless.  She's quite fit as well, even my mum would probably reckon she's out of my league (the gf).

Wait a second, you said you were single?

I was.

I'd probably still say it out of habit.

So what chat up line did you use on your East European (she's not an auditor is she?)? Ulkranian boxers or Footballers?

Feigned an interest in painting and modern Italian cinema. Discovered fairly recently that she follows football.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Imagine what the friends of TopHat's girlfriends say?

 

Sorry Tina, I just don't have the imagination to get to top hat having a girlfriend.

Surely there are girls out there who can see beyond his staggering blubber and get through to the scintillating personality and charm that he has?

Too much malice in that son. Please untie your father and let him back on the computer, I'll buy you a rottweiler for christmas.

  

  I only just got that. Good work Shah.

Shah thinks he is funny.

My eldest is going to get the shock of his life when he has no Christmas presents next week. Who is laughing then, huh?

Get over it Tina, I hate to see you like this

People keep bringing it up.

No one mentions the fact I carried with life despite having a wound that almost certainly should have had stitches.

No, they cling on to the fact I got beaten up by a child.  It's mildly humiliating actually, Jeff.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Shah thinks he is funny.

My eldest is going to get the shock of his life when he has no Christmas presents next week.  Who is laughing then, huh?

Probably the rottweiler pup who bites off your nob at your son's behest.

If I was you I would go home and challenge him to a fight on your probably extensive back garden. Settle it once and for all Tina. If you whoop him you can move on and know you have put him in his place. If you lose at least you have the satisfaction of knowing it was not lucky, alright you still have the humiliation of getting battered by a kid twice but you can focus your energies and love on your other kids and make the ungrateful little git ponder on his actions when he is paying his own way through Uni.

Rowley wrote:If I was you I would go home and challenge him to a fight on your probably extensive back garden. Settle it once and for all Tina. If you whoop him you can move on and know you have put him in his place. If you lose at least you have the satisfaction of knowing it was not lucky, alright you still have the humiliation of getting battered by a kid twice but you can focus your energies and love on your other kids and make the ungrateful little git ponder on his actions when he is paying his own way through Uni.

  

Rowley, and I thought you held some measure of esteem for Tino. Guy is probably lying half dead on the floor now

Rowley wrote:he is paying his own way through Uni.

Paying his way through Uni doing a worthless degree in a mickey mouse subject?*

*As decided by the TopHat scale of worthless degrees.

TopHat > Tom Kerridge?

seanmichaels wrote:TopHat > Tom Kerridge?

Poor comparison Seany, Tom Kerridge is talented and likeable.

I feel I should know who Tom Kerridge is.

But I don't.

Rowley wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:TopHat > Tom Kerridge?

Poor comparison Seany, Tom Kerridge is talented and likeable.

Didnt he once encourage his chef mates to kick the Poopie out a customer who didn't like his salad starter?

You really have got it in for tino, brutus!

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I feel I should know who Tom Kerridge is.

But I don't.

Big fat chef, only 2 starred pub in the world. He made carrots the other day with half a bag of sugar and a full packet of butter.

seanmichaels wrote:TopHat > Tom Kerridge?

Haha no, actually, I'm more James Corden.....

Though Rowley's talent and likeable comment is still pretty justified....

What is everyone having for Christmas dinner? My predictions:

Jeff - straight up and down Turkey
Tina - Goose
Tophat - Turkey, Ham, Roast Beef
Galted - Nut Loaf
Shah - Curry? (my Indian mate does at Xmas)
Julius - Pheasant and Venison

seanmichaels wrote:What is everyone having for Christmas dinner? My predictions:

Jeff - straight up and down Turkey
Tina - Goose Swan
Tophat - Turkey, Ham, Roast Beef
Galted - Nut Loaf
Shah - Curry? (my Indian mate does at Xmas)
Julius - Pheasant and Venison

michaels - 8 cans of Strongbow.

Wifes going to roast a leg of lamb with mint sauce and tandoori sauce plus some kebabs on the george foreman grill with roast potatoes followed by a fruit salad in double cream and carrot pudding in the evening.

Tophat has just exploded with envy

ShahenshahG wrote:Tophat has just exploded with envy

That would have a blast radius of about 400 miles.

I am eating out with TSMR and the in-laws. Will be traditional turkey dinner for me, they do have other options but that is cheating.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I feel I should know who Tom Kerridge is.

But I don't.

Big fat chef, only 2 starred pub in the world. He made carrots the other day with half a bag of sugar and a full packet of butter.

You can't make carrots - you grow them.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Tophat has just exploded with envy

That would have a blast radius of about 400 miles.

Why do you think he was given an office on the uppermost point of the shard? Harmlessly dissipates the blast into the atmosphere and occasionally deflects meteors into easyern europe everytime he feels envious of a job seekers claimant

Rowley wrote:I am eating out with TSMR and the in-laws. Will be traditional turkey dinner for me, they do have other options but that is cheating.

What have you bought TSMR for Christmas, Jeff?

Just want to make sure we don't duplicate.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Tophat has just exploded with envy

That would have a blast radius of about 400 miles.

Why do you think he was given an office on the uppermost point of the shard? Harmlessly dissipates the blast into the atmosphere and occasionally deflects meteors into easyern europe everytime he feels envious of a job seekers claimant

Is that why it lists to the left and right every time he walks across the office?

Not a particularly romatic present Tina, but she does a lot of running so wanted a GPS watch thing that times you and tells you how far you have gone etc, so got her one of them. Sorry I can't give a more accurate description, you pretty much know my views on exercise.

What have you got Mrs Windows, has the Tiffanys gold card took a beating?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:What is everyone having for Christmas dinner? My predictions:

Jeff - straight up and down Turkey
Tina - Goose Swan
Tophat - Turkey, Ham, Roast Beef
Galted - Nut Loaf
Shah - Curry? (my Indian mate does at Xmas)
Julius - Pheasant and Venison

michaels - 8 cans of Strongbow.

Really Swan?

I'm going to my mothers in Bournemouth. She's a lash head and the drinking tends to kick off as soon as you arrive. Last time I was there I threw up and passed out at 7pm. Jamiesons got the better of me...

Rowley wrote:Not a particularly romatic present Tina, but she does a lot of running so wanted a GPS watch thing that times you and tells you how far you have gone etc, so got her one of them. Sorry I can't give a more accurate description, you pretty much know my views on exercise.

What have you got Mrs Windows, has the Tiffanys gold card took a beating?

A GPS watch. Who said love is dead.

I work in the precious metals industry, Jeff. I get pretty all of that stuff on the cheap. No need for gold cards.

seanmichaels wrote:

Really Swan?

No, you clown. It was a joke.

Turkey for me. It will be the one day this year that I eat it.