The Culture Cup round 6

First topic message reminder :

rick_dagless wrote:http://io9.com/5982701/ultrasound-makes-sonoluminescent-bubbles

I think it is a grey ground Julius rather than black and white, so we may agree to disagree on this one

You could be right. If only you'd stuck to sonoluminescence, it definitely would have merited a round of applause. As it is, I'm not sure my conscient will allow it.

 

Genius, dagless. Genius.

Cheers Tino thought i'd better do something, not contributed much today...

Wonder if we are getting a burrito review today, or is Galted now spending all his time writing and translating self harm poetry?

Large chicken burrito from Wrap-It-Up

Taste 5/5 – Truly, one of the most astonishing wrap-based meals I've ever eaten, if I wasn't wearing such tight underpants I may well have had an erection for its duration.  The combined flavour of chicken pieces, guacamole, beans, rice, cheddar and sour cream was exquisite and, even without the scalding orange sauce would have been, not a culinary offering, but an achievement

Price 4/5  – was fairly expensive at £6.45 (£5.81 if you take into account that the tenth one is free) but I would unhesitatingly steal from Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital if I couldn't afford one.  For £6.45 Jeff could have bought a year's subscription to Yorkshire Farmers Weekly and a farm.

Health  – not applicable, I would eat c0ck and dead granny if it tasted this good.

Onion factor 5/5 – didn't see, taste or smell onion as I requested aubergine instead of salsa in my wrap, which is reflected in the 5/5 for taste

Total: 5/5

I was ably served by the charming and minute Italian bird and enjoyed a quite delightful conversation with her about how the weather's been a bit drier recently though it's still fairly cold.  We agreed that we like to lie in on weekends.  She did have a rather large spot on her nose today which was quite disconcerting but didn't detract from my enjoyment of the wrap in any way.  If anything, it enhanced my sense of taste as I could concentrate fully on my meal without being distracted by wondering what she'd look like with my balls in her mouth.  Once again the presentation was top class, the wrap was securely covered in tin-foil and placed in a useful paper bag, complete with handles and bearing a white and orange Wrap-It-Up sticker.  I took not one, but two of the tubs of scalding orange sauce with no objection from the staff.  I would, unhesitatingly recommend the large chicken burrito from Wrap-It-Up to fellow posters and, if any of you are in the vicinity of Liverpool Street and would like to try one, I would give you my loyalty card so you could get it stamped.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Surprised Jeff hasn't been on correcting the lyrics and or claimed his mum sold The Pixies a dog.

He is too busy having an argument with T-Bone on the boxing board.

Not so much an argument as Jeff banging his head against an incredibly thick, big breasted, Amercian steroid abuser with low-self asteem and a complete inability to engage in reasoned debate.

If anything, it enhanced my sense of taste as I could concentrate fully on my meal without being distracted by wondering what she'd look like with my balls in her mouth.

That just made me snigger like a pervert. I must be a pervert though, because now I'm imagining an Italian dwarf sucking Ray Mears' balls.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Surprised Jeff hasn't been on correcting the lyrics and or claimed his mum sold The Pixies a dog.

He is too busy having an argument with T-Bone on the boxing board.

Not so much an argument as Jeff banging his head against an incredibly thick, big breasted, Amercian steroid abuser with low-self asteem and a complete inability to engage in reasoned debate.  

Might want to check your spelling of American before labeling Truss as thick.

But yes, he is a thick, big breasted, steroid abuser who has low self esteem and is unable to engage in reasoned debate.

superflyweight wrote:

If anything, it enhanced my sense of taste as I could concentrate fully on my meal without being distracted by wondering what she'd look like with my balls in her mouth.

That just made me snigger like a pervert.

Same here. It could have been lifted straight from an Easton Ellis novel.

superflyweight wrote:

If anything, it enhanced my sense of taste as I could concentrate fully on my meal without being distracted by wondering what she'd look like with my balls in her mouth.

That just made me snigger like a pervert.  I must be a pervert though, because now I'm imagining an Italian dwarf sucking Ray Mears' balls.  

I did her an injustice as she's in perfect proportion and very doable. She looks like a normal-sized Italian bird in the distance.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

If anything, it enhanced my sense of taste as I could concentrate fully on my meal without being distracted by wondering what she'd look like with my balls in her mouth.

That just made me snigger like a pervert.

Same here.  It could have been lifted straight from an Easton Ellis novel.  

Nice attempt to at least play lip service this being a culture thread.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Surprised Jeff hasn't been on correcting the lyrics and or claimed his mum sold The Pixies a dog.

He is too busy having an argument with T-Bone on the boxing board.

Not so much an argument as Jeff banging his head against an incredibly thick, big breasted, Amercian steroid abuser with low-self asteem and a complete inability to engage in reasoned debate.  

Might want to check your spelling of American before labeling Truss as thick.

But yes, he is a thick, big breasted, steroid abuser who has low self esteem and is unable to engage in reasoned debate.

Fkuc yuo!

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

If anything, it enhanced my sense of taste as I could concentrate fully on my meal without being distracted by wondering what she'd look like with my balls in her mouth.

That just made me snigger like a pervert.

Same here.  It could have been lifted straight from an Easton Ellis novel.  

Nice attempt to at least play lip service this being a culture thread.

Yeah. Nice try, Tino, but it was lifted from a Jane Austen novel.

execellent return to form Galted, nice review with just enough sexual tension to keep me gripped to the end

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

If anything, it enhanced my sense of taste as I could concentrate fully on my meal without being distracted by wondering what she'd look like with my balls in her mouth.

That just made me snigger like a pervert.

Same here.  It could have been lifted straight from an Easton Ellis novel.  

Nice attempt to at least play lip service this being a culture thread.

Yeah.  Nice try, Tino, but it was lifted from a Jane Austen novel.

Is that the chapter when Mr Darcy forces Elizabeth Bennet to take it up the sh*tbox?

Tino wrote:Is that the chapter when Mr Darcy forces Elizabeth Bennet to take it up the sh*tbox?

That ends if the classical feltching scene that was the basis of my GCSE English

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

If anything, it enhanced my sense of taste as I could concentrate fully on my meal without being distracted by wondering what she'd look like with my balls in her mouth.

That just made me snigger like a pervert.

Same here.  It could have been lifted straight from an Easton Ellis novel.  

Nice attempt to at least play lip service this being a culture thread.

Yeah.  Nice try, Tino, but it was lifted from a Jane Austen novel.

Is that the chapter when Mr Darcy forces Elizabeth Bennet to take it up the sh*tbox?

Nope, it's the one where Sir Horace face-ravishes Lady Edna.

rick_dagless wrote:execellent return to form Galted, nice review with just enough sexual tension to keep me gripped to the end

I'm glad you approve, dagless. I stopped buying lunch from M&S as the scope for sexual tension is negligible.

Galted wrote:I'm glad you approve, dagless. I stopped buying lunch from M&S as the scope for sexual tension is negligible.

Unless necrophilia is your thing and you hang around waiting for the elderly to cark it

Galted wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:execellent return to form Galted, nice review with just enough sexual tension to keep me gripped to the end

I'm glad you approve, dagless.  I stopped buying lunch from M&S as the scope for sexual tension is negligible.

Not for michaels it isn't. He hangs around the lingerie section watching penioners peruse the old lady girdles.

superflyweight wrote:Not for michaels it isn't. He hangs around the lingerie section watching penioners peruse the old lady girdles.

to be fair michaels can knock out a misery w@nk to a light fitting that may or may not look like a breast

I once had a wet dream that I was riding a bicycle and my John Thomas was rubbing against the saddle.

rick_dagless wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Not for michaels it isn't. He hangs around the lingerie section watching penioners peruse the old lady girdles.

to be fair michaels can knock out a misery w@nk to a light fitting that may or may not look like a breast

But he definitely, definitely isn't gay and never "gave his bum for the school".

Galted wrote:I once had a wet dream that I was riding a bicycle and my John Thomas was rubbing against the saddle.

Wow. What type of bike?

superflyweight wrote:

Galted wrote:I once had a wet dream that I was riding a bicycle and my John Thomas was rubbing against the saddle.

Wow.  What type of bike?  

Not sure if it was made clear in the dream but more than likely would have been a BMX.

Tino wrote:But he definitely, definitely isn't gay and never "gave his bum for the school".

Absolutely, that has been made very clear...

It's not really hard to believe, I spent 4 years at a boys school without getting bummed once.  I was a pupil there before anyone makes smartarsed comments about me hiding in the bushes.

By the way, haven't seen much of Julius today.  I hope that he's alright.

Galted wrote:It's not really hard to believe, I spent 4 years at a boys school without getting bummed once.  I was a pupil there before anyone makes smartarsed comments about me hiding in the bushes.

Yes but you don't constantly reinforce your straightness at every opportunity.

I always consider Galted to be asexual. Not sure why.

Rowley wrote:I always consider Galted to be asexual. Not sure why.

Probably not through Choice at any rate

What you wear is a choice Shah.

Rowley wrote:I always consider Galted to be asexual. Not sure why.

FFS, I do not look like Ray Mears!

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:I always consider Galted to be asexual. Not sure why.

FFS, I do not look like Ray Mears!

The lady doth protest too much.

Rowley wrote:What you wear is a choice Shah.

Aye - but for him it would be like lipstick on a pig.

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:I always consider Galted to be asexual. Not sure why.

FFS, I do not look like Ray Mears!

Do I, or do I not have an image of Ray Mears dangling his balls in the mouth of an Italian dwarf? Case closed.

superflyweight wrote:

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:I always consider Galted to be asexual. Not sure why.

FFS, I do not look like Ray Mears!

Do I, or do I not have an image of Ray Mears dangling his balls in the mouth of an Italian dwarf?  Case closed.  

Now that is the definition of a tough w@nk.

Galted wrote:It's not really hard to believe, I spent 4 years at a boys school without getting bummed once.  I was a pupil there before anyone makes smartarsed comments about me hiding in the bushes.

By the way, haven't seen much of Julius today.  I hope that he's alright.

It was your poem yesterday. At first I thought it was really funny. Then I started thinking about it. Now I'm sitting in the bath tub about to plug in the toaster.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:It's not really hard to believe, I spent 4 years at a boys school without getting bummed once.  I was a pupil there before anyone makes smartarsed comments about me hiding in the bushes.

By the way, haven't seen much of Julius today.  I hope that he's alright.

It was your poem yesterday. At first I thought it was really funny. Then I started thinking about it. Now I'm sitting in the bath tub about to plug in the toaster.

An even tougher w@nk.

superflyweight wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:It's not really hard to believe, I spent 4 years at a boys school without getting bummed once.  I was a pupil there before anyone makes smartarsed comments about me hiding in the bushes.

By the way, haven't seen much of Julius today.  I hope that he's alright.

It was your poem yesterday. At first I thought it was really funny. Then I started thinking about it. Now I'm sitting in the bath tub about to plug in the toaster.

An even tougher w@nk.  

I'm still fairly confident I could manage.

superflyweight wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:It's not really hard to believe, I spent 4 years at a boys school without getting bummed once.  I was a pupil there before anyone makes smartarsed comments about me hiding in the bushes.

By the way, haven't seen much of Julius today.  I hope that he's alright.

It was your poem yesterday. At first I thought it was really funny. Then I started thinking about it. Now I'm sitting in the bath tub about to plug in the toaster.

An even tougher w@nk.  

A toast to Superflyweight.....JUlius NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Rowley wrote:I'm still fairly confident I could manage.

The subsequent self loathing could help tip it over the edge too

Calm down, I've still got my clothes on - I don't want to die naked.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:It's not really hard to believe, I spent 4 years at a boys school without getting bummed once.  I was a pupil there before anyone makes smartarsed comments about me hiding in the bushes.

By the way, haven't seen much of Julius today.  I hope that he's alright.

It was your poem yesterday. At first I thought it was really funny. Then I started thinking about it. Now I'm sitting in the bath tub about to plug in the toaster.

If you want funny poems try this site, the comments of support are a scream as well:

http://www.bestteenpoems.com/poems/emo/

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:It's not really hard to believe, I spent 4 years at a boys school without getting bummed once.  I was a pupil there before anyone makes smartarsed comments about me hiding in the bushes.

By the way, haven't seen much of Julius today.  I hope that he's alright.

It was your poem yesterday. At first I thought it was really funny. Then I started thinking about it. Now I'm sitting in the bath tub about to plug in the toaster.

If you want funny poems try this site, the comments of support are a scream as well:

http://www.bestteenpoems.com/poems/emo/

Hahhaaha - that could out misery Rowley

Has anyone got an extension lead I could borrow?

ShahenshahG wrote:
Hahhaaha - that could out misery Rowley

You're not wrong. I would seem like one of the Chuckle Brothers on there.

Rowley wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:
Hahhaaha - that could out misery Rowley

You're not wrong. I would seem like one of the Chuckle Brothers on there.

You seem like a chuckle brother anyway, just off screen version of the smaller one.

Doesnt this thread get split at 990 comments?

No - it's goes up to 1000+ then the last 3 pages get split into a new thread, so the count on this one goes down.

JuliusHMarx wrote:No - it's goes up to 1000+ then the last 3 pages get split into a new thread, so the count on this one goes down.

Does give us a bit of excitement whilst we wait to see what comment will be the OP on the new thread.

Fair enough, glad it was not just some kind of eerie coincidence

Rowley wrote:Does give us a bit of excitement whilst we wait to see what comment will be the OP on the new thread.

At least it gets rid of this one, involving my unfair chastisement by Julius over sonoluminescence