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The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

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Post by Adam D Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:23 am

First topic message reminder :

As the old thread is reaching its max again, I thought I would set up a whole new 20 spare pages for you all to talk about things neither cultural or Cup based.

Not that it makes a difference.

All anthropod, cortex and mild stereotyping of northerners welcome in here.

Just don't ask about the 2014 cup competition though.


Last edited by Adam D on Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:32 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:56 am

Rowley wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I have no idea what any of you are talking about.

Have you never seen The Office or did you see it but have subsequently forgotten you ever watched it?

Seen most episodes - didn't commit the characters names to memory & hadn't realised it had become the replacement for Monty Python for saddos who go around quoting the lines etc.

You're having a laugh saying that.

Leave this to me Sean, this is big boy sh!t

Yeah? Against karate?

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:57 am

Toppy wrote:Exactly, we're not the ones who f***ed up.

yup, unless it was the Jackie Chan thing but he was famously a stunt man in Enter the Dragon, apparently he got hit in the face by a fighting stick wielded by Bruce Lee, who went on to apologise, and said he could act in all his films.

but he carked it before he came through on his promise

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:58 am

Tino wrote:You did in the context of quoting The Office.

Ah, I hated the Office... Hence (I guess) missing the point somewhat

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:59 am

rick_dagless wrote:

Ah, I hated the Office.

Disappointed in you, dagless.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:00 am

Tino wrote:Disappointed in you, dagless.

Comedy blind spot for me i'm afraid, maybe to close to home with some of the tools in my actual office

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:07 am

I really want to quote Gareth talking about his Dad again. I can watch that scene over and over again. I cry every time.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:09 am

seanmichaels wrote:I really want to quote Gareth talking about his Dad again.

Don't.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:11 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I really want to quote Gareth talking about his Dad again.

Don't.

And because it may be deemed offensive to some......

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Post by Galted Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:13 am

Does anyone have any snuff movies featuring estate agents?

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:15 am

Galted wrote:Does anyone have any snuff movies featuring estate agents?

a couple if you don't mind the exploitation of midgets?

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:17 am

Galted wrote:Does anyone have any snuff movies featuring estate agents?

No but I have a VHS copy of Last An@l Hero if you want?

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Post by TopHat24/7 Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:17 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
TopHat24/7 wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:TopHat and Rick, go straight to the dunces corner.

What have i done wrong?

Exactly, we're not the ones who f***ed up.

You did in the context of quoting The Office.

When did I quote the office....???

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Post by Galted Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:27 am

Cheers, dagless, I adore the exploitation of midgets.

@ michaels, thanks, an@l snowbunnies was the last film from the @nal genre that I watched.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:50 am

Galted wrote:Cheers, dagless, I adore the exploitation of midgets.


David: "Look whether or not Anton is indeed a midget, or a dwarf-"
Alex: "No he’s a midget"
David: "What’s the difference?"
Alex: "A dwarf is someone who has disproportionately short arms and legs"
David: "Oh I know the ones"
Alex: "It’s caused by a hormone deficiency"
David: "Yeah… bloody hormones"
Alex: "A midget is still a dwarf but their arms and legs are in proportion"
Gareth: "So... what’s an elf?"

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:51 am

Galted wrote:Cheers, dagless, I adore the exploitation of midgets.

Who doesn't Galted.

Highlighted by sean also!

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:57 am

TopHat24/7 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
TopHat24/7 wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:TopHat and Rick, go straight to the dunces corner.

What have i done wrong?

Exactly, we're not the ones who f***ed up.

You did in the context of quoting The Office.

When did I quote the office....???

You didn't, but you were questioning Chris's post which was quoting The Office.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:58 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:Cheers, dagless, I adore the exploitation of midgets.


David: "Look whether or not Anton is indeed a midget, or a dwarf-"
Alex: "No he’s a midget"
David: "What’s the difference?"
Alex: "A dwarf is someone who has disproportionately short arms and legs"
David: "Oh I know the ones"
Alex: "It’s caused by a hormone deficiency"
David: "Yeah… bloody hormones"
Alex: "A midget is still a dwarf but their arms and legs are in proportion"
Gareth: "So... what’s an elf?"

It is an ex-parrot!


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Post by TopHat24/7 Fri Feb 28, 2014 12:01 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
TopHat24/7 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
TopHat24/7 wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:TopHat and Rick, go straight to the dunces corner.

What have i done wrong?

Exactly, we're not the ones who f***ed up.

You did in the context of quoting The Office.

When did I quote the office....???

You didn't, but you were questioning Chris's post which was quoting The Office.

 Doh Doh Doh 

Still, agree with previous poster that said this is just the 21st century version of all the long-haired spock-fancying bespectacled star wars gimps that (used to) go around jabbering on about "the knights who say 'neep'".

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 12:03 pm

TopHat24/7 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
TopHat24/7 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
TopHat24/7 wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:TopHat and Rick, go straight to the dunces corner.

What have i done wrong?

Exactly, we're not the ones who f***ed up.

You did in the context of quoting The Office.

When did I quote the office....???

You didn't, but you were questioning Chris's post which was quoting The Office.

 Doh Doh Doh 

Still, agree with previous poster that said this is just the 21st century version of all the long-haired spock-fancying bespectacled star wars gimps that (used to) go around jabbering on about "the knights who say 'neep'".

I think 'sorry' was the word you were looking for.

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Post by TopHat24/7 Fri Feb 28, 2014 12:06 pm

Laugh

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:27 pm

Morrison's Super Sour Snakes very good at 39p for a packet. Good taste and exceptional texture. If you are not northern and therefore scared to visit Morrisons for fear of being outed, I believe they now temporarily loan out flat caps and trouser clips at the customer service desks.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:31 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Morrison's Super Sour Snakes

The Fried eggs are pretty good too, and they do indeed supply a guide whippet if needed

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:33 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Morrison's Super Sour Snakes very good at 39p for a packet. Good taste and exceptional texture. If you are not northern and therefore scared to visit Morrisons for fear of being outed, I believe they now temporarily loan out flat caps and trouser clips at the customer service desks.

I think you'll find the correct terminology is The Morrisons.


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Post by Rowley Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:35 pm

I used to work at Morrisons.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:39 pm

Rowley wrote:I used to work at Morrisons.

The Morrisons.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:42 pm

Rowley wrote:I used to work at Morrisons.

I believe Tino may have as well, what other explanation could there be for owning a green shirt?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:48 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Rowley wrote:I used to work at Morrisons.

I believe Tino may have as well, what other explanation could there be for owning a green shirt?

I don't know how many times I have to say this. It is very dark green, almost black unless you look very closely.  You make it sound like it is the colour of grass.  As we have discussed, seany, it is more like wilted spinach.  And I look rather dashing in it.

Never worked in a supermarket.  Did work in an independent sweet shop though.

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Post by 88Chris05 Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:53 pm

I used to work at ASDA. Wore the baggy green with pride. Still have the old garms and box cutter hidden away somewhere.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:56 pm

I worked at a Tesco call centre for a while at uni, it was immense bobbins and the team leader guy was a right weapon.

It has put me off the place ever since

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Post by Rowley Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:56 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Rowley wrote:I used to work at Morrisons.

I believe Tino may have as well, what other explanation could there be for owning a green shirt?

I was there before the green shirt days Sean. I was in the warehouse as well. We are the freewheeling mavericks of the whole operation. Uniforms meant little to us boys.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:57 pm

Am I the only person here that hasn't worked for a supermarket in some capacity?

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:58 pm

I did the Tesco check outs one year at Christmas. Loved it.

@Tina - Apologies. You should have just said you look like a box of Matchmakers.

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Post by Galted Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:59 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Rowley wrote:I used to work at Morrisons.

I believe Tino may have as well, what other explanation could there be for owning a green shirt?

I don't know how many times I have to say this.  It is very dark green, almost black unless you look very closely.  You make it sound like it is the colour of grass.  As we have discussed, seany, it is more like wilted spinach.  And I look rather dashing in it.

Never worked in a supermarket.  Did work in an independent sweet shop though.

You forgot to add "but not in a gay way".

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:01 pm

seanmichaels wrote:

@Tina - Apologies. You should have just said you look like a box of Matchmakers.

 Laugh 

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:02 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Rowley wrote:I used to work at Morrisons.

I believe Tino may have as well, what other explanation could there be for owning a green shirt?

I don't know how many times I have to say this.  It is very dark green, almost black unless you look very closely.  You make it sound like it is the colour of grass.  As we have discussed, seany, it is more like wilted spinach.  And I look rather dashing in it.

Never worked in a supermarket.  Did work in an independent sweet shop though.

You forgot to add "but not in a gay way".

No, I didn't forget.

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Post by Galted Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:09 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Rowley wrote:I used to work at Morrisons.

I believe Tino may have as well, what other explanation could there be for owning a green shirt?

I don't know how many times I have to say this.  It is very dark green, almost black unless you look very closely.  You make it sound like it is the colour of grass.  As we have discussed, seany, it is more like wilted spinach.  And I look rather dashing in it.

Never worked in a supermarket.  Did work in an independent sweet shop though.

You forgot to add "but not in a gay way".

No, I didn't forget.

I'm getting confusing messages here, Tino, are you up for it or not?

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Post by 88Chris05 Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:09 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Am I the only person here that hasn't worked for a supermarket in some capacity?

Afraid so, Tina.

It's not too depressing if you've got a good imagination. I used to tell the girls that I was a 'stock replenishment engineer' (shelf stacker) for a massive company who'd just undergone a multi-billion pound merger with a huge American corporation (Walmart).
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Post by ShahenshahG Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:11 pm

Wink Wilted spinach - yoFailed to go all popeye on your son tino?

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:12 pm

88Chris05 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Am I the only person here that hasn't worked for a supermarket in some capacity?

Afraid so, Tina.

It's not too depressing if you've got a good imagination. I used to tell the girls that I was a 'stock replenishment engineer' (shelf stacker) for a massive company who'd just undergone a multi-billion pound merger with a huge American corporation (Walmart).

ASDA has to be the worst. Customers smell in that place.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:14 pm

Galted wrote:

I'm getting confusing messages here, Tino, are you up for it or not?

That depends. Have you ever worked in a supermarket and do you have an issue with dark green shirts?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:14 pm

Sean wrote:ASDA has to be the worst. Customers smell in that place.

Be careful sean, or Jeff will attack with his libellous sword of justice (+1 to all mods)

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:15 pm

88Chris05 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Am I the only person here that hasn't worked for a supermarket in some capacity?

Afraid so, Tina.

It's not too depressing if you've got a good imagination. I used to tell the girls that I was a 'stock replenishment engineer' (shelf stacker) for a massive company who'd just undergone a multi-billion pound merger with a huge American corporation (Walmart).

Come on Chris, we all want to know if your fancy title got you laid?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by ShahenshahG Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:17 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
88Chris05 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Am I the only person here that hasn't worked for a supermarket in some capacity?

Afraid so, Tina.

It's not too depressing if you've got a good imagination. I used to tell the girls that I was a 'stock replenishment engineer' (shelf stacker) for a massive company who'd just undergone a multi-billion pound merger with a huge American corporation (Walmart).

ASDA has to be the worst. Customers smell in that place.

Na, worst is sainsburys - thieves carry std laden syringes to nip any pursuit in the bud - Luckily I needed it to prove that i wasn't a virgin without touching icky girls.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:18 pm

Pretty sure Lidl spilt my pint then chatted up my bird...

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:20 pm

rick_dagless wrote:
Sean wrote:ASDA has to be the worst. Customers smell in that place.

Be careful sean, or Jeff will attack with his libellous sword of justice (+1 to all mods)

In the one that I very occasionally have to use they do.

The Morrisons in Aldershot is a fantastic shop. They spray mist on to their fruit and veg like they do in France.

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Post by Rowley Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:21 pm

Is it just me or does anybody else only understand around 30% of what Shah writes on here.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:23 pm

Rowley wrote:Is it just me or does anybody else only understand around 30% of what Shah writes on here.

Got the first part but not the other stuff.

I guess you could put Harrods in Luton and it would still be rough.

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Post by TopHat24/7 Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:24 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Rowley wrote:I used to work at Morrisons.

I believe Tino may have as well, what other explanation could there be for owning a green shirt?

I don't know how many times I have to say this.  It is very dark green, almost black unless you look very closely.  You make it sound like it is the colour of grass.  As we have discussed, seany, it is more like wilted spinach.  And I look rather dashing in it.

Never worked in a supermarket.  Did work in an independent sweet shop though.

Well done, you actually just managed to make it sound even worse!!

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Post by Galted Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:26 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:

I'm getting confusing messages here, Tino, are you up for it or not?

That depends.  Have you ever worked in a supermarket and do you have an issue with dark green shirts?

I don't have an issue with dark green shirts, I have 2 of my own but there's so much deodorant caked into the armpits that I only wear them to work.

I worked on a supermarket complaints desk for about a day in my teens, I was sacked for accusing a customer of being a thief.  Some old woman returned an ice-cream tub saying that it was off when all of it had been eaten.  I heroically refused to replace it and got shouted at then sacked with said woman grinning at me.  I hope that both of the f*cking old c*nts died very unpleasant deaths.

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Post by 88Chris05 Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:27 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
88Chris05 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Am I the only person here that hasn't worked for a supermarket in some capacity?

Afraid so, Tina.

It's not too depressing if you've got a good imagination. I used to tell the girls that I was a 'stock replenishment engineer' (shelf stacker) for a massive company who'd just undergone a multi-billion pound merger with a huge American corporation (Walmart).

Come on Chris, we all want to know if your fancy title got you laid?

Come on, Tina. What do you think - that I spent my teenage years watching old grainy boxing matches from yesteryear as a first choice?
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