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The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Mar 10, 2014 12:50 pm

First topic message reminder :

superflyweight wrote:It's in Edinburgh and it's called the "Pubic Triangle".  Is about 5 minutes from my work and there's always a distressing smell of lube hanging over the area.  

That's the one, thanks super.

Is lube really a distressing smell?

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Post by JuliusHMarx Mon Mar 31, 2014 2:24 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Can't wait for Galted's next post

Galted. wrote:
GREEN SHIRT ALERT.

I think I may just have seen Tino.  I was just delivering a new self service till at B&Q when a chap walked back in after lunch wearing full B&Q attire.  

It has to have been Tino.  Slightly saggy mid drift and looked kind of like an ugly Michael mcIntyre. I wish I had thought quickly and checked out his lip.  That would have confirmed it.

I am not wearing a green shirt today so you're wrong.

Some sort of charity dress-up day at the store? Are you wearing a comedy hat?

No, I am not wearing a hat.

You'll never get promoted to 'Paint Aisle Manager' if you're not a team player.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Mar 31, 2014 2:28 pm

Galted wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Can't wait for Galted's next post

Galted wrote:
GREEN SHIRT ALERT.

I think I may just have seen Tino.  I was just delivering a new self service till at B&Q when a chap walked back in after lunch wearing full B&Q attire.  

It has to have been Tino.  Slightly saggy midriff and looked kind of like an ugly and fat Michael McIntyre. I wish I had thought quickly and checked out his lip.  That would have confirmed it.

Just seen Tino's original post and was composing a response in my mind, along these lines but not quite as masterful.

I wasn't been offensive, unlike sean, it was just an observation.

It is sweet how you pair egg each other on though. Such a lovely couple.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Mon Mar 31, 2014 2:29 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Can't wait for Galted's next post

Galted. wrote:
GREEN SHIRT ALERT.

I think I may just have seen Tino.  I was just delivering a new self service till at B&Q when a chap walked back in after lunch wearing full B&Q attire.  

It has to have been Tino.  Slightly saggy mid drift and looked kind of like an ugly Michael mcIntyre. I wish I had thought quickly and checked out his lip.  That would have confirmed it.

I am not wearing a green shirt today so you're wrong.

Some sort of charity dress-up day at the store? Are you wearing a comedy hat?

No, I am not wearing a hat.

You'll never get promoted to 'Paint Aisle Manager' if you're not a team player.

Harsh. You know how upset he was to be overlooked for the 'Head Mixer' role last year.

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Post by Galted Mon Mar 31, 2014 2:35 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Can't wait for Galted's next post

Galted wrote:
GREEN SHIRT ALERT.

I think I may just have seen Tino.  I was just delivering a new self service till at B&Q when a chap walked back in after lunch wearing full B&Q attire.  

It has to have been Tino.  Slightly saggy midriff and looked kind of like an ugly and fat Michael McIntyre. I wish I had thought quickly and checked out his lip.  That would have confirmed it.

Just seen Tino's original post and was composing a response in my mind, along these lines but not quite as masterful.

I wasn't been offensive, unlike sean, it was just an observation.

It is sweet how you pair egg each other on though.  Such a lovely couple.

It's a risk you take when you have kids, your 3 weeks off has caused you to tumble down the hierarchy and michaels has usurped your old position. And there's no need to be particular about your grammar or spelling with him.
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Post by seanmichaels Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:19 pm

That was a thread killer if ever there was one.

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Post by ShahenshahG Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:24 pm

seanmichaels wrote:That was a thread killer if ever there was one.

Galted is just angry that he's been out hipstered by someone else

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Post by Galted Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:25 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

I wasn't been offensive, unlike sean, it was just an observation.


Just noticed this bit, still not sure that it really is Tino.
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Post by Rowley Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:26 pm

seanmichaels wrote:That was a thread killer if ever there was one.

And nobody is more qualified to comment on that than you Sean.

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Post by Galted Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:30 pm

If anyone's in Paris over the next few months please keep an eye out for a pair of grey tracksuit pants, I think I lost them in the Montreuil area. They're only used for sleeping so their return is not too urgent but I'll definitely be requiring them by wintertime.
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Post by Galted Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:34 pm

Galted wrote:If anyone's in Paris over the next few months please keep an eye out for a pair of grey tracksuit pants, I think I lost them in the Montreuil area.  They're only used for sleeping so their return is not too urgent but I'll definitely be requiring them by wintertime.

There will be a reward if they're returned undamaged.

ps - the ankles are elasticated, should make it a bit easier to identify.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:37 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

I wasn't been offensive, unlike sean, it was just an observation.


Just noticed this bit, still not sure that it really is Tino.

It is Tino, but he's definitely f*cking sleep f*cking deprived.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:20 pm

C*ck.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:43 pm

Sucker

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:48 pm

I am currently away from the office.

Please leave a post and I will respond when I return to my desk.

Kind regards,
Mind the windows Tino.


Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Galted Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:54 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I am currently away from the office.

Please leave a post and I will respond when I return to my desk.

Kind regards,
Mind the windows Tino.


F*ck. Just realised I didn't set the out of office autoreply on Thursday afternoon.
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Post by TopHat24/7 Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:57 pm

Who wants to get hold of tech-support that urgently anyway, surely someone else is always around that's suitably qualified to say "Try turning it off, and back on again".

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Post by JuliusHMarx Mon Mar 31, 2014 5:01 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I am currently away from the office.

Please leave a post and I will respond when I return to my desk.

Kind regards,
Mind the windows Tino.


You desk is presumably in the self-assembly furniture section.

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Post by Rowley Mon Mar 31, 2014 5:04 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:C*ck.

Really not sure I approve of the crudeness that appears to be creeping into our culture cup thread. There have been occasions over the last couple of weeks where we have flirted with the subject of culture. Who can forget our brief discussion of the works of Bukowski or today's mention of a couple of foreign language films. A tantalising glimpse of what could be with just a little collective push in the right direction.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Mar 31, 2014 5:10 pm

Jules wrote: you desk

That will hurt.

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Post by TopHat24/7 Mon Mar 31, 2014 5:11 pm

Laugh

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Post by JuliusHMarx Mon Mar 31, 2014 5:11 pm

Basic typo, due to sleep deprivation.

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Post by superflyweight Mon Mar 31, 2014 6:06 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Basic typo, due to sleep deprivation.
You need a f*cking sleep, Julius.

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Post by kingraf Mon Mar 31, 2014 6:35 pm

speaking of losing sleep, apologised to ONETWO yet? His history suggests he's the type of person you apologise to when they beat you up.

"sorry for repeatedly putting my face in front of your double back flip spinning monkey fist"
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Post by superflyweight Mon Mar 31, 2014 7:46 pm

kingraf wrote:speaking of losing sleep, apologised to ONETWO yet? His history suggests he's the type of person you apologise to when they beat you up.

"sorry for repeatedly putting my face in front of your double back flip spinning monkey fist"
He's had a grudge against me for years - stems from the time he pretended to be a teenage girl and then called me out for laughing at him.  I find it best to just let him be unless provoked and am just thankful he doesn't pretend to be from the same obscure Boston suburb as me.

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Post by Rowley Mon Mar 31, 2014 8:08 pm

Look superfly stop provoking him. I am going to do what I can to talk him down so perhaps he only cripples you rather than kills you, but you have got to work with me.

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Post by ShahenshahG Mon Mar 31, 2014 8:17 pm

Rowley - he never turns up when he sentences you to death. He claims the money then changes his name to F. Wren boxing promotions

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Post by kingraf Mon Mar 31, 2014 8:30 pm

All I'm saying is you're talking about a man of immense proportions (figuratively, not like Toppy)... Once he finds you you'll need The Rock to keep you safe... The illuminati, Freemasons, and Rockefellers wouldn't keep you safe... Good Luck and God speed
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Post by Galted Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:05 am

Rubbish on here today.
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Post by seanmichaels Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:09 am

Moist.

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Post by Galted Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:06 am

Was going to think up an April Fools' story but can't really be arsed.
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Post by seanmichaels Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:14 am

Galted wrote:Was going to think up an April Fools' story but can't really be arsed.

I got my bird a treat this morning. Had to go and see the specialist last night as I have a long standing leg condition. Not serious but this time the doc wants me to be an exhibit for study etc as condition is chronic and rare.

Bird obviously worried but reassured her last night. Anyway this morning I woke up and said I hadn't been quite as honest as I should have been but needed to sleep on it. I informed her that it was 50/50 as to whether I was going to have to have it amputated below the knee. She only bloody started crying!!! I did say it was an april fools but she said it wasn't funny......

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Post by Galted Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:20 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:Was going to think up an April Fools' story but can't really be arsed.

I got my bird a treat this morning. Had to go and see the specialist last night as I have a long standing leg condition. Not serious but this time the doc wants me to be an exhibit for study etc as condition is chronic and rare.

Bird obviously worried but reassured her last night. Anyway this morning I woke up and said I hadn't been quite as honest as I should have been but needed to sleep on it. I informed her that it was 50/50 as to whether I was going to have to have it amputated below the knee. She only bloody started crying!!! I did say it was an april fools but she said it wasn't funny......

Good work again, michaels, the litmus test of a successful April Fools' joke is whether it results in a girl crying but not in a Savile kind of way.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:38 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:Was going to think up an April Fools' story but can't really be arsed.

I got my bird a treat this morning. Had to go and see the specialist last night as I have a long standing leg condition. Not serious but this time the doc wants me to be an exhibit for study etc as condition is chronic and rare.

Bird obviously worried but reassured her last night. Anyway this morning I woke up and said I hadn't been quite as honest as I should have been but needed to sleep on it. I informed her that it was 50/50 as to whether I was going to have to have it amputated below the knee. She only bloody started crying!!! I did say it was an april fools but she said it wasn't funny......

You're legless most of the time anyway.

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:39 am

Laugh My friend just got a call 5 minutes ago saying that he's being made redundant in a few months time because the company is moving offices up north.

Conversation went like this from when I was in hearing range.

*informs him that he is being made redundant*

My mate: Haha, funny April fools joke

*awkward silence* No.


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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:33 pm

Bit slow on here today...

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Post by Rowley Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:37 pm

Moribund would not over sell it.

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:43 pm

Rowley wrote:Moribund would not over sell it.


heheheheehehehe

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Post by JuliusHMarx Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:04 pm

Do you often laugh randomly at various words?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:08 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Do you often laugh randomly at various words?

heheheheehehehe

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by ShahenshahG Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:13 pm

Mori is how white people try to pronounce mari which means "My" and Bund is punjabi slang for bum.

So the source of Rowleys contempt for seanmichaels becomes evident.

Envy.

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:14 pm

Bund = bum hole

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Post by Rowley Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:19 pm

A joke that only works with a decent grasp of the Punjabi language, now that is culture.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:22 pm

ਮੈਨੂੰ ਹਰ ਕੋਈ ਰਿਵਿਊ ਸੋਚਿਆ: ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਦੀ ਇੱਕ ggod ਸਮਝ ਸੀ,?

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Post by seanmichaels Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:24 pm

I Punjabi Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference......

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Post by TopHat24/7 Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:26 pm

Careful now.......! warning

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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:28 pm

You turned into Dougal McGuire Toppy?

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:36 pm

You probably wouldnt sean- they are next to each other and most of the people look the same apart from the bihari peoples who were invited in to fill a job gap and are now hated for depriving the locals of jobs:laugh: Plus you aren't really discerning as to who goes into your arse - a truly equal opportunities employer.


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Post by seanmichaels Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:47 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:You probably wouldnt sean- they are next to each other and most of the people look the same apart from the bihari peoples who were invited in to fill a job gap and are now hated for depriving the locals of jobs:laugh: Plus you aren't really discerning as to who goes into your arse - a truly equal opportunities employer.


Laugh


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Post by JuliusHMarx Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:03 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:ਮੈਨੂੰ ਹਰ ਕੋਈ ਰਿਵਿਊ ਸੋਚਿਆ: ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਦੀ ਇੱਕ ggod ਸਮਝ ਸੀ,?
 
hehehehehehe

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:08 pm

Oh sh*t.

Spoiler:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-26825869

Mind the windows Tino.
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Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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