The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 10 Mar 2014, 12:50 pm

First topic message reminder :

superflyweight wrote:It's in Edinburgh and it's called the "Pubic Triangle". Is about 5 minutes from my work and there's always a distressing smell of lube hanging over the area.

That's the one, thanks super.

Is lube really a distressing smell?

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 2:24 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Can't wait for Galted's next post

Galted. wrote:
GREEN SHIRT ALERT.

I think I may just have seen Tino. I was just delivering a new self service till at B&Q when a chap walked back in after lunch wearing full B&Q attire.

It has to have been Tino. Slightly saggy mid drift and looked kind of like an ugly Michael mcIntyre. I wish I had thought quickly and checked out his lip. That would have confirmed it.

I am not wearing a green shirt today so you're wrong.

Some sort of charity dress-up day at the store? Are you wearing a comedy hat?

No, I am not wearing a hat.

You'll never get promoted to 'Paint Aisle Manager' if you're not a team player.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 31 Mar 2014, 2:28 pm

Galted wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Can't wait for Galted's next post

Galted wrote:
GREEN SHIRT ALERT.

I think I may just have seen Tino. I was just delivering a new self service till at B&Q when a chap walked back in after lunch wearing full B&Q attire.

It has to have been Tino. Slightly saggy midriff and looked kind of like an ugly and fat Michael McIntyre. I wish I had thought quickly and checked out his lip. That would have confirmed it.

Just seen Tino's original post and was composing a response in my mind, along these lines but not quite as masterful.

I wasn't been offensive, unlike sean, it was just an observation.

It is sweet how you pair egg each other on though. Such a lovely couple.

by **seanmichaels** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 2:29 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Can't wait for Galted's next post

Galted. wrote:
GREEN SHIRT ALERT.

I think I may just have seen Tino. I was just delivering a new self service till at B&Q when a chap walked back in after lunch wearing full B&Q attire.

It has to have been Tino. Slightly saggy mid drift and looked kind of like an ugly Michael mcIntyre. I wish I had thought quickly and checked out his lip. That would have confirmed it.

I am not wearing a green shirt today so you're wrong.

Some sort of charity dress-up day at the store? Are you wearing a comedy hat?

No, I am not wearing a hat.

You'll never get promoted to 'Paint Aisle Manager' if you're not a team player.

Harsh. You know how upset he was to be overlooked for the 'Head Mixer' role last year.

by **Galted** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 2:35 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Can't wait for Galted's next post

Galted wrote:
GREEN SHIRT ALERT.

I think I may just have seen Tino. I was just delivering a new self service till at B&Q when a chap walked back in after lunch wearing full B&Q attire.

It has to have been Tino. Slightly saggy midriff and looked kind of like an ugly and fat Michael McIntyre. I wish I had thought quickly and checked out his lip. That would have confirmed it.

Just seen Tino's original post and was composing a response in my mind, along these lines but not quite as masterful.

I wasn't been offensive, unlike sean, it was just an observation.

It is sweet how you pair egg each other on though. Such a lovely couple.

It's a risk you take when you have kids, your 3 weeks off has caused you to tumble down the hierarchy and michaels has usurped your old position. And there's no need to be particular about your grammar or spelling with him.

by **seanmichaels** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 3:19 pm

That was a thread killer if ever there was one.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 3:24 pm

seanmichaels wrote:That was a thread killer if ever there was one.

Galted is just angry that he's been out hipstered by someone else

by **Galted** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 3:25 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

I wasn't been offensive, unlike sean, it was just an observation.

Just noticed this bit, still not sure that it really is Tino.

by Rowley Mon 31 Mar 2014, 3:26 pm

seanmichaels wrote:That was a thread killer if ever there was one.

And nobody is more qualified to comment on that than you Sean.

by **Galted** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 3:30 pm

If anyone's in Paris over the next few months please keep an eye out for a pair of grey tracksuit pants, I think I lost them in the Montreuil area. They're only used for sleeping so their return is not too urgent but I'll definitely be requiring them by wintertime.

by **Galted** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 3:34 pm

Galted wrote:If anyone's in Paris over the next few months please keep an eye out for a pair of grey tracksuit pants, I think I lost them in the Montreuil area. They're only used for sleeping so their return is not too urgent but I'll definitely be requiring them by wintertime.

There will be a reward if they're returned undamaged.

ps - the ankles are elasticated, should make it a bit easier to identify.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 3:37 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

I wasn't been offensive, unlike sean, it was just an observation.

Just noticed this bit, still not sure that it really is Tino.

It is Tino, but he's definitely f*cking sleep f*cking deprived.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 31 Mar 2014, 4:20 pm

C*ck.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 4:43 pm

Sucker

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 31 Mar 2014, 4:48 pm

I am currently away from the office.

Please leave a post and I will respond when I return to my desk.

Kind regards,
Mind the windows Tino.

by **Galted** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 4:54 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I am currently away from the office.

Please leave a post and I will respond when I return to my desk.

Kind regards,
Mind the windows Tino.

F*ck. Just realised I didn't set the out of office autoreply on Thursday afternoon.

by TopHat24/7 Mon 31 Mar 2014, 4:57 pm

Who wants to get hold of tech-support that urgently anyway, surely someone else is always around that's suitably qualified to say "Try turning it off, and back on again".

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 5:01 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I am currently away from the office.

Please leave a post and I will respond when I return to my desk.

Kind regards,
Mind the windows Tino.

You desk is presumably in the self-assembly furniture section.

by Rowley Mon 31 Mar 2014, 5:04 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:C*ck.

Really not sure I approve of the crudeness that appears to be creeping into our culture cup thread. There have been occasions over the last couple of weeks where we have flirted with the subject of culture. Who can forget our brief discussion of the works of Bukowski or today's mention of a couple of foreign language films. A tantalising glimpse of what could be with just a little collective push in the right direction.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 31 Mar 2014, 5:10 pm

Jules wrote: you desk

That will hurt.

by TopHat24/7 Mon 31 Mar 2014, 5:11 pm

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 5:11 pm

Basic typo, due to sleep deprivation.

by **superflyweight** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 6:06 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Basic typo, due to sleep deprivation.

You need a f*cking sleep, Julius.

by kingraf Mon 31 Mar 2014, 6:35 pm

speaking of losing sleep, apologised to ONETWO yet? His history suggests he's the type of person you apologise to when they beat you up.

"sorry for repeatedly putting my face in front of your double back flip spinning monkey fist"

by **superflyweight** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 7:46 pm

kingraf wrote:speaking of losing sleep, apologised to ONETWO yet? His history suggests he's the type of person you apologise to when they beat you up.

"sorry for repeatedly putting my face in front of your double back flip spinning monkey fist"

He's had a grudge against me for years - stems from the time he pretended to be a teenage girl and then called me out for laughing at him. I find it best to just let him be unless provoked and am just thankful he doesn't pretend to be from the same obscure Boston suburb as me.

by Rowley Mon 31 Mar 2014, 8:08 pm

Look superfly stop provoking him. I am going to do what I can to talk him down so perhaps he only cripples you rather than kills you, but you have got to work with me.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 31 Mar 2014, 8:17 pm

Rowley - he never turns up when he sentences you to death. He claims the money then changes his name to F. Wren boxing promotions

by kingraf Mon 31 Mar 2014, 8:30 pm

All I'm saying is you're talking about a man of immense proportions (figuratively, not like Toppy)... Once he finds you you'll need The Rock to keep you safe... The illuminati, Freemasons, and Rockefellers wouldn't keep you safe... Good Luck and God speed

by **Galted** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 8:05 am

Rubbish on here today.

by **seanmichaels** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 8:09 am

Moist.

by **Galted** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:06 am

Was going to think up an April Fools' story but can't really be arsed.

by **seanmichaels** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:14 am

Galted wrote:Was going to think up an April Fools' story but can't really be arsed.

I got my bird a treat this morning. Had to go and see the specialist last night as I have a long standing leg condition. Not serious but this time the doc wants me to be an exhibit for study etc as condition is chronic and rare.

Bird obviously worried but reassured her last night. Anyway this morning I woke up and said I hadn't been quite as honest as I should have been but needed to sleep on it. I informed her that it was 50/50 as to whether I was going to have to have it amputated below the knee. She only bloody started crying!!! I did say it was an april fools but she said it wasn't funny......

by **Galted** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:20 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:Was going to think up an April Fools' story but can't really be arsed.

I got my bird a treat this morning. Had to go and see the specialist last night as I have a long standing leg condition. Not serious but this time the doc wants me to be an exhibit for study etc as condition is chronic and rare.

Bird obviously worried but reassured her last night. Anyway this morning I woke up and said I hadn't been quite as honest as I should have been but needed to sleep on it. I informed her that it was 50/50 as to whether I was going to have to have it amputated below the knee. She only bloody started crying!!! I did say it was an april fools but she said it wasn't funny......

Good work again, michaels, the litmus test of a successful April Fools' joke is whether it results in a girl crying but not in a Savile kind of way.

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:38 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:Was going to think up an April Fools' story but can't really be arsed.

I got my bird a treat this morning. Had to go and see the specialist last night as I have a long standing leg condition. Not serious but this time the doc wants me to be an exhibit for study etc as condition is chronic and rare.

Bird obviously worried but reassured her last night. Anyway this morning I woke up and said I hadn't been quite as honest as I should have been but needed to sleep on it. I informed her that it was 50/50 as to whether I was going to have to have it amputated below the knee. She only bloody started crying!!! I did say it was an april fools but she said it wasn't funny......

You're legless most of the time anyway.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:39 am

My friend just got a call 5 minutes ago saying that he's being made redundant in a few months time because the company is moving offices up north.

Conversation went like this from when I was in hearing range.

*informs him that he is being made redundant*

My mate: Haha, funny April fools joke

*awkward silence* No.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 12:33 pm

Bit slow on here today...

by Rowley Tue 01 Apr 2014, 12:37 pm

Moribund would not over sell it.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 12:43 pm

Rowley wrote:Moribund would not over sell it.

heheheheehehehe

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:04 pm

Do you often laugh randomly at various words?

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:08 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Do you often laugh randomly at various words?

heheheheehehehe

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:13 pm

Mori is how white people try to pronounce mari which means "My" and Bund is punjabi slang for bum.

So the source of Rowleys contempt for seanmichaels becomes evident.

Envy.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:14 pm

Bund = bum hole

by Rowley Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:19 pm

A joke that only works with a decent grasp of the Punjabi language, now that is culture.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:22 pm

ਮੈਨੂੰ ਹਰ ਕੋਈ ਰਿਵਿਊ ਸੋਚਿਆ: ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਦੀ ਇੱਕ ggod ਸਮਝ ਸੀ,?

by **seanmichaels** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:24 pm

I Punjabi Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference......

by TopHat24/7 Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:26 pm

Careful now.......! warning

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:28 pm

You turned into Dougal McGuire Toppy?

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:36 pm

You probably wouldnt sean- they are next to each other and most of the people look the same apart from the bihari peoples who were invited in to fill a job gap and are now hated for depriving the locals of jobs:laugh: Plus you aren't really discerning as to who goes into your arse - a truly equal opportunities employer.

by **seanmichaels** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 1:47 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:You probably wouldnt sean- they are next to each other and most of the people look the same apart from the bihari peoples who were invited in to fill a job gap and are now hated for depriving the locals of jobs:laugh: Plus you aren't really discerning as to who goes into your arse - a truly equal opportunities employer.

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue 01 Apr 2014, 2:03 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:ਮੈਨੂੰ ਹਰ ਕੋਈ ਰਿਵਿਊ ਸੋਚਿਆ: ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਦੀ ਇੱਕ ggod ਸਮਝ ਸੀ,?

hehehehehehe

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 01 Apr 2014, 2:08 pm

Oh sh*t.

Spoiler:

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