The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

First topic message reminder :

That was the 990 post...

Is it a fitting replacement for a pubic triangle?

Rowley wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Looking for some medical advice and this seemed to be the logical place to come.  

Woke up in the middle of the night in agony with what can only be described as a pulsing, throbbing pain in my right testicle.  At first I thought it was just my pulse and that it had somehow transferred to my gonads, but the pain has just come back (although not as sore) when I'm sitting at my desk and I'm sure its not my pulse.

Any thoughts?  

Almost certainly advanced testicular cancer superfly. My advice would be to have them both removed with all possible haste.

I think Galted's right and I probably just squashed it. I knew you guys woudl be better than actual medical practitioners.

Balls are proof that God never overcame a few design glitches. They are a bit like the weak points in the deathstar, only there to cause us pain.

Godforsaken on here today.

rancid and fetid.

Barren as a hot fart in a desert.

Hampton
Hampton
Hampton
Hampton
Pubes

As dry as Gandhi's sandals.

saw a horrible accident this morning, mini bus turned over. Ambulances everywhere. Blocked the freaking road. my 15 minute route turned to a 45 minute odyssey. I have taxis

kingraf wrote:saw a horrible accident this morning, mini bus turned over. Ambulances everywhere. Blocked the freaking road.  my 15 minute route turned to a 45 minute odyssey. I have taxis

Hate, kingraf, you hate taxis.

Unless, of course, you own a taxi company or shag them.

When I was in Durban we were staying on the 17th floor of some hotel on the beach front. We used to bomb those VW vans/taxis with rolled up balls of wet bog paper. Brilliant fun, landed one bang in the middle of the roof splashing wet bog paper everywhere. Driver and passengers jumped out not knowing WTF was going on.

seanmichaels wrote:When I was in Durban we were staying on the 17th floor of some hotel on the beach front. We used to bomb those VW vans/taxis with rolled up balls of wet bog paper. Brilliant fun, landed one bang in the middle of the roof splashing wet bog paper everywhere. Driver and passengers jumped out not knowing WTF was going on.

Did you ever kill anyone just for the fun of it?

meant hate, I hate predictive taxis

Discovered a couple of new born kittens living in a small gap in a wall between the fence and (the about to be demolished) shed. Had a funny stand off with the Mother... who has quite an attractive face.

She bolted out of the gap and away from me for about 5m then turned around and puffed herself up and confronted me. All shoulders and cat breasts. Then came this strange-sounding hiss... more like a taipan. (btw, nobody commented on my snake photo last thread?)

Must have got rooted by some tough feral cat near here (probably when the football was on so I didn't her her screams) and she has decided that this was the safest place to be. She obviously has no idea that the place will be a full-on construction site in about 7 weeks! I've already put some stakes in the ground so I can stand where the future kitchen will be... or stand next to where the pool will be... it feels great already!

Very busy with work - construction starts on one job next week; then this place and then a couple of others nearing approval. In between running around sites, builders, engineers and clients - I managed to chance upon a massive Pet Supplies super-warehouse on the way home... some amazing kit for animals! The bloke sold me a comfy looking sheepskin rug, lactose-free milk and some kitten nibbles... of which Mum has already polished off a couples of serves. I passed on the twin metallic food dishes - I prefer to use proper Mayfair & Jackson white china for my guest(s). I've already used a can of Paramount ~ dolphin friendly ~ Tuna in Spring Water for the first 2 days. That went down really well.

When I had a quick peep again early this morning... I could see her loving eyes glowing at me from within the darkened crack in the wall. The plates were all empty and there was generally a very smug and content air of positiveness surrounding the secret hideaway.

That's quite a sweet story in a non-homo way.

Cats are f*cking useless, Lb. I've been trying to train my stepkitten to be a killer guard cat and all she attacks is my finger and my face, and my feet when I'm trying to sleep.

@kingraf - excellent wordplay, you'll put Julius out of a job.

Oh, and make sure they have plenty of water if you're feeding them canned Tuna. Can be a bit salty for cats.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:When I was in Durban we were staying on the 17th floor of some hotel on the beach front. We used to bomb those VW vans/taxis with rolled up balls of wet bog paper. Brilliant fun, landed one bang in the middle of the roof splashing wet bog paper everywhere. Driver and passengers jumped out not knowing WTF was going on.

Did you ever kill anyone just for the fun of it?

No, I am sufficiently amused by blowing up aerosol cans and growing tomatoes.

seanmichaels wrote:That's quite a sweet story in a non-homo way.

Oh mate... I was hit in the face with a True Life Story unfolding before my eyes.

I already have enough on my plate. I was considering getting a puppy around about now but I just haven't got around to doing it.

On Tuesday morning I saw the cat walk casually past my sliding doors. A bit strange because it usually keeps a low profile and is not that friendly with me. I waited until it turned behind the shed (in the gap near the fence) and I then followed it. It was then that I saw it's face in the gap in the wall. However... then something caught my eye. It was like having blurred vision. I saw an extra face... then another. Suddenly it dawned upon me. There were at least a few faces in there.

I haven't disturbed them yet - the bloke in the pet shop said just let nature take its course... but feed the Mum. There are only 2 kittens as far as I can see. The mother is black with bits of white; one kitten looks like a tabby?... the other like a Russian Blue? When I had a look yesterday and saw the blue one I thought it was dead... it had that blue shimmer about it and was completely still. I had to go out for work... and felt sick about leaving it with the other live one (probably thought it would die too). When I got back home after a couple of hours... I went back prepared for the worst but I saw it moving. Phew!

seanmichaels wrote:Oh, and make sure they have plenty of water if you're feeding them canned Tuna. Can be a bit salty for cats.

Yes, water for the first 2 days and more water again from tomorrow. Light rain at the moment but not cold at all... quite balmy outside tonight.

kingraf wrote:meant hate, I hate predictive taxis

Very good   
That's the reason we let you in.

You could get a few quid for a Russian Blue over here. Sometimes as kittens they'll look blue / grey when young but end up being black.

Galted wrote:Cats are f*cking useless, Lb.  I've been trying to train my stepkitten to be a killer guard cat and all she attacks is my finger and my face, and my feet when I'm trying to sleep.

@kingraf - excellent wordplay, you'll put Julius out of a job.

Cats are brilliant. Galted has been trying to train his stepkitten to be a killer guard cat and all she attacks is his finger and his face, and his feet when he's trying to sleep.

Looked like this thread was going to go 24 hours without a post until this one ballsed it up.

It's all my fault, Galted.

The kittens and cat are gone!
I'm obviously an insecure host... or maybe the tuna was too rich for a fibro-based feral?

Maybe a dingo ate them.

All the dingos around here have already been eaten. Barbequed long time ago.

Sinewy in here...

I would have said sh1t in here but "sinewy" is a word that's not used nearly enough.

I guess the lack of bits of cat probably means they made a safe getaway, perhaps the dolphin-friendly tuna gave her just enough energy to get them to their dream home. It could be the start of a population of feral cats devoted to watching over you.

Galted wrote:I would have said sh1t in here but "sinewy" is a word that's not used nearly enough.

I guess the lack of bits of cat probably means they made a safe getaway, perhaps the dolphin-friendly tuna gave her just enough energy to get them to their dream home.  It could be the start of a population of feral cats devoted to watching over you.

Yeah, I've never written "sinewy" before. It felt strange.

They'll be back after the build for sure if they know what's good for them. I don't want to encourage that though!

I might get a smelly, muscular, slobbering, short-haired mutt with balls the size of small avocados to patrol the new compound.

Something like this

Linebreaker wrote:
I might get a smelly, muscular, slobbering, short-haired mutt with balls the size of small avocados to patrol the new compound.

Would send you our resident angry Kiwi but I'm sure they'd want to do a rabies check before he was allowed in.

Are you sure it isn't GE?

Fairly sure. GE is an annoying wummer whereas RAK is a volatile wummee. He's been known to screech "f*ck you" at people for saying things like "good morning" and "happy birthday".

Sorry can't contribute much today. Haven't got up yet and when I do I'll be off to sit on a roller for a few hours. Not used to the late starts, I feel a bit like that work shy git Tina, although I'm not slightly overweight and scared of 7 year olds.

Galted wrote:Fairly sure.  GE is an annoying wummer whereas RAK is a volatile wummee.  He's been known to screech "f*ck you" at people for saying things like "good morning" and "happy birthday".

Fush and chups

seanmichaels wrote:Sorry can't contribute much today. Haven't got up yet and when I do I'll be off to sit on a roller for a few hours. Not used to the late starts, I feel a bit like that work shy git Tina, although I'm not slightly overweight and scared of 7 year olds.

No worries, there seems to be a delay of a few minutes everytime I click on a link or refresh so posting is quite difficult today. Tough being in the first world sometimes.

My new neighbor is a Syrian Kurd woman. Most stunning thing I've seen in my life. I'm in love.

kingraf wrote:My new neighbor is a Syrian Kurd woman. Most stunning thing I've seen in my life. I'm in love.

How p1ssed off will you be if your barman nemesis gets in there first?

kingraf wrote:My new neighbor is a Syrian Kurd woman. Most stunning thing I've seen in my life. I'm in love.

Some of them lot can be alright. My brother went out with an Iraqi for a while who was pretty. Saved my life as well.

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:My new neighbor is a Syrian Kurd woman. Most stunning thing I've seen in my life. I'm in love.

How p1ssed off will you be if your barman nemesis gets in there first?

He's probably hanging out the back of it as we type......

Galted - just thinking about him has had me in convulsive fits before. Going to go find a corner to cool off/cry

As an aside, If he's South African and a barman, how come he's not in London?

I woke up at 5ish this morning and flicked through the boxing forum. I guess Rowley will not be in the best of moods after cleaning up 3fingers' rants.

I don't know. I'll ask him next time I try gather up the courage to kick his a55.

seanmichaels wrote:I woke up at 5ish this morning and flicked through the boxing forum. I guess Rowley will not be in the best of moods after cleaning up 3fingers' rants.

Took a while that one Sean. All very odd, was like having mackem mawler back on here. Was half expecting him to offer someone a fight at some point.

So pleased. Ita's been downgraded to Cat 4 now. Only 275 km/h winds instead of 300+.

Let's hope it loses more strength as it hits shore. Cooktown will be lucky to escape. It's all weatherboard buildings... like that fake town set on Blazing Saddles... except probably even more fragile. We'll know more in the morning.

My mate lives in Toowoomba. Reckons he'll be alright. Ran out of fuel for his generator but wasn't particularly bothered while he still had a decent supply of beer.

Rowley wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I woke up at 5ish this morning and flicked through the boxing forum. I guess Rowley will not be in the best of moods after cleaning up 3fingers' rants.

Took a while that one Sean. All very odd, was like having mackem mawler back on here. Was half expecting him to offer someone a fight at some point.

Was it definitely not mackem? My thoughts at the time.

seanmichaels wrote:My mate lives in Toowoomba. Reckons he'll be alright. Ran out of fuel for his generator but wasn't particularly bothered while he still had a decent supply of beer.

Yeah, Toowoomba is halfway between Sydney and Cape Flattery. There is the main system with the storm... which is about 1000km long and maybe 100-150 km wide in places. It won't cross the Atherton Tableland which is quite close to the coast near Cairns, etc. Then there's a separate massive croissant-shaped cloud band (another low) off NSW. Toowoomba is sort of to the left of the gap between the two...looking North.

It's like the wet season has arrived here in Sydney after our hottest and driest summer in 49 years!
It was like Damascus or Cairo during summer... without all of the social turmoil (on a large scale).

Raf, some stunning African women near me. In fact, this area has such a unique mix for Sydney, let alone Australia. Everybody is here. The previous Government went hell for leather bringing in as many diverse people as was possible. Absolutely transformed the place. Amazonian princesses from Somalia, Sudan... or wherever. This one girl was nearly 7' tall and had the most perfect skin I've ever seen! She made Grace Jones look like a block of old wood. 

My neck of the woods is also rather... cosmopolitan. I've developed a working knowledge of Serbian, and Swahili...

Nothing beats the majestic sight I was greeted with stumbling home from a night out yesterday

All a bit foreign on here today. If this is an attempt to make superfly feel at home pre independence it is very good of you both.

F-all w@nk material round where I live, all big arses and gunts.

Consider me - On the way home, traffic is unusually blocked up, I get to the traffic light - taxi has climbed into a freaking ditch. Two days. Two taxis, on the same traffic light. Cost me an hour of my life.