The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Time to try getting the first post of the new thread in.

Tino kisses monkeys' bums.

Will Ferrell is a cu*t.

I am going to delete some posts, it is better when the first post is random. Counting posts takes all the elements of danger out of things.

Galted shagged his sister.

She said he was rubbish.

Jack Whitehall is a c*nt.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted shagged his sister.

She said he was rubbish.

Actually, she was unconscious and still doesn't know.

Galted and Jeff, sitting in a tree
K I S S I N G

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted and Jeff, sitting in a tree
K I S S I N G

First comes love then comes marriage 
then comes a baby in a chevrolet carriage

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted and Jeff, sitting in a tree
K I S S I N G

he has
no clue
He works for B&Q
Tino!
Tino!

Aaargh. Looks like Peaches will get the first post after doing nothing for weeks!

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted and Jeff, sitting in a tree
K I S S I N G

he has
no clue
He works for B&Q
Tino!
Tino!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Galted and his family
All stink of poo.

he likes
them old
their minges full of mould

Tino!
Tino!

Galted wrote:he likes
them old
their minges full of mould

Tino!
Tino!

He smells
of wee lovely
He works in IT

Gayted Galted!
Gayted Galted!

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

kingraf wrote:when I thought my future lay in academia.

Whereabouts in South Africa is that?

Some say it's a beautiful place filled with rainbows and fairy fart. They keep saying academia is the fastest way out of South Africa... I later realised I lived a 30 minute train ride from the airport

Thanks, Tino. Those words have made me feel really awful about myself.

Galted wrote:Thanks, Tino.  Those words have made me feel really awful about myself.

I'm willing to apologise and draw a line under all this so long as you retract your accusation that Mrs Windows minge is full of mould.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Thanks, Tino.  Those words have made me feel really awful about myself.

I'm willing to apologise and draw a line under all this so long as you retract your accusation that Mrs Windows minge is full of mould.

I'm happy with that. I've amended the post and hope that this is now behind us.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Thanks, Tino.  Those words have made me feel really awful about myself.

I'm willing to apologise and draw a line under all this so long as you retract your accusation that Mrs Windows minge is full of mould.

I'm happy with that.  I've amended the post and hope that this is now behind us.

Plus I can vouch that its not full of mould

Tino,

I came across a very angry redback on the weekend. Should have seen the size of its abdomen!
I was moving firewood and bricks from the garage getting ready for the demo. I had that feeling there might be something nasty lurking as I picked up each brick (no gloves at first). I picked up two and was checking the frog (the scooped out bit on one face of a brick) when I saw this nest (like a huge cotton wool bud) and the spider sprung out of the row of bricks I had just exposed below.

Felt like a brute... but I had to slam the bricks together. The ants came so quickly after that.
It was the biggest one I've ever seen. The abdomen was about the size of a small grape... which is pretty big for a redback.

btw, sad news. All the kittens have died. One on Saturday. I thought the mother had taken them away so I sort of blocked up the gap. Then to my amazement I heard cries again so had a look and saw 2 kittens (only 8-10 days old, eyes still not open). Rang the vet and RSPCA again. RSPCA said take it to a vet. When I checked yesterday, one looked dead and the other was trying to crawl away. No sign of the mother. So I took the little one to a vet and they then tell me to take it to the RSPCA. The poor little thing was put down. I get home thinking I better do something about the one which looked dead... but it had moved and was barely alive. Anyway... it also had died by this morning. Jeezuz.... life and death and all that. Poor little buggers never had a chance really.

Apologies for all the cheerful news. I'm sort of in shock but doing my best to deny it and trying to justify those events as something beyond my control. Too many things happening at the moment with work, etc to slow down for feral animal tragedies. Still very sad though.

Thanks for tipping me over the edge....

Linebreaker wrote:Tino,

I came across a very angry redback on the weekend. Should have seen the size of its abdomen!
I was moving firewood and bricks from the garage getting ready for the demo. I had that feeling there might be something nasty lurking as I picked up each brick (no gloves at first). I picked up two and was checking the frog (the scooped out bit on one face of a brick) when I saw this nest (like a huge cotton wool bud) and the spider sprung out of the row of bricks I had just exposed below.

Felt like a brute... but I had to slam the bricks together. The ants came so quickly after that.
It was the biggest one I've ever seen. The abdomen was about the size of a small grape... which is pretty big for a redback.

btw, sad news. All the kittens have died. One on Saturday. I thought the mother had taken them away so I sort of blocked up the gap. Then to my amazement I heard cries again so had a look and saw 2 kittens (only 8-10 days old, eyes still not open). Rang the vet and RSPCA again. RSPCA said take it to a vet. When I checked yesterday, one looked dead and the other was trying to crawl away. No sign of the mother. So I took the little one to a vet and they then tell me to take it to the RSPCA. The poor little thing was put down. I get home thinking I better do something about the one which looked dead... but it had moved and was barely alive. Anyway... it also had died by this morning. Jeezuz.... life and death and all that. Poor little buggers never had a chance really.

Apologies for all the cheerful news. I'm sort of in shock but doing my best to deny it and trying to justify those events as something beyond my control. Too many things happening at the moment with work, etc to slow down for feral animal tragedies. Still very sad though.

That's quite a poignant post, Lb.  Unfortunately, Tino is unlikely to have read past the unnecessary apostrophe in the first line.

seanmichaels wrote:Thanks for tipping me over the edge....

I'm upset about the redback as well, seany.

I stopped reading after that.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Thanks, Tino.  Those words have made me feel really awful about myself.

I'm willing to apologise and draw a line under all this so long as you retract your accusation that Mrs Windows minge is full of mould.

I'm happy with that.  I've amended the post and hope that this is now behind us.

I have amended my post as well.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Thanks, Tino.  Those words have made me feel really awful about myself.

I'm willing to apologise and draw a line under all this so long as you retract your accusation that Mrs Windows minge is full of mould.

I'm happy with that.  I've amended the post and hope that this is now behind us.

I have amended my post as well.

Cheers, Tino.

That certainly turned my frown upside-down!

I put it down to nerves, Galted. Not like me to let one mistake slip through my fingertips.

I blame spell checqkerre. I'll go back and fix it right away!

Linebreaker wrote:I put it down to nerves, Galted. Not like me to let one mistake slip through my fingertips.

I blame spell checqkerre. I'll go back and fix it right away!

I would leave it in there, Lb. Tino is quite a sensitive soul and reading about the kittens could be very upsetting for him.

Galted wrote:

Linebreaker wrote:I put it down to nerves, Galted. Not like me to let one mistake slip through my fingertips.

I blame spell checqkerre. I'll go back and fix it right away!

I would leave it in there, Lb.  Tino is quite a sensitive soul and reading about the kittens could be very upsetting for him.

What kittens?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Linebreaker wrote:I put it down to nerves, Galted. Not like me to let one mistake slip through my fingertips.

I blame spell checqkerre. I'll go back and fix it right away!

I would leave it in there, Lb.  Tino is quite a sensitive soul and reading about the kittens could be very upsetting for him.

What kittens?

Three little kittens lost their mittens a while ago. But it's ok, Tino, they soon found them.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Linebreaker wrote:I put it down to nerves, Galted. Not like me to let one mistake slip through my fingertips.

I blame spell checqkerre. I'll go back and fix it right away!

I would leave it in there, Lb.  Tino is quite a sensitive soul and reading about the kittens could be very upsetting for him.

What kittens?

Three little kittens lost their mittens a while ago.  But it's ok, Tino, they soon found them.

Well that's a relief.

Galted wrote:

Linebreaker wrote:I put it down to nerves, Galted. Not like me to let one mistake slip through my fingertips.

I blame spell checqkerre. I'll go back and fix it right away!

I would leave it in there, Lb.  Tino is quite a sensitive soul and reading about the kittens could be very upsetting for him.

Too late. All fixed now. Also corrected my error in your quotation as well. I feel seamless now.

I'm as upset as he is, mate. I hate killing innocent things or seeing runts fade away.

In an attempt to cheer the mood I can proudly report that I now have regular visits from Pigeons and Collared Doves as well as a Jay (bird not spliff) at the bird table.

Linebreaker wrote:

Galted wrote:

Linebreaker wrote:I put it down to nerves, Galted. Not like me to let one mistake slip through my fingertips.

I blame spell checqkerre. I'll go back and fix it right away!

I would leave it in there, Lb.  Tino is quite a sensitive soul and reading about the kittens could be very upsetting for him.

Too late. All fixed now. Also corrected my error in your quotation as well. I feel seamless now.

I'm as upset as he is, mate. I hate killing innocent things or seeing runts fade away.

Damn mods. Now there's a good chance the first post of the new thread will be me pointing out a non-existent error.

seanmichaels wrote:In an attempt to cheer the mood I can proudly report that I now have regular visits from Pigeons and Collared Doves as well as a Jay (bird not spliff) at the bird table.

You're going to have some seriously mixed emotions if one of them gets killed by a cat.

I saw a treecreeper at the weekend. You don't see them everyday.

Thanks sean. I feel more jolly now.

Got a few fat ones (a couple of different species of pigeons) here as well. I nearly stepped on one yesterday when I was in my state of shock. It was casually grazing on the lawn and it didn't seem to notice me as I carried the corpse to the plastic bag. It was too busy pecking away at something more interesting.

A bit like on these boards sometimes...  

I've seen a pigeon eating KFC off the pavement, and one pecking at vomit - they're not the most discerning animals. Their little heads really annoy me.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I saw a treecreeper at the weekend.  You don't see them everyday.

A good spot for sure. I had 2 Goldfinches one day but haven't seen them since. Need to pick up some mealworm and sunflower hearts at lunch.

Galted - they are way too stupid, at least ray is. You can hear him coming a mile off.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I saw a treecreeper at the weekend.  You don't see them everyday.

A good spot for sure. I had 2 Goldfinches one day but haven't seen them since. Need to pick up some mealworm and sunflower hearts at lunch.

Galted - they are way too stupid, at least ray is. You can hear him coming a mile off.

When I had the kitten over Xmas I tried to instil my hatred of pigeons in her by holding her at the window and growling at the useless f*cking things. But she'd only stare at them for a bit then bite me on the nose.

Linebreaker wrote:Thanks sean. I feel more jolly now.

Got a few fat ones (a couple of different species of pigeons) here as well. I nearly stepped on one yesterday when I was in my state of shock. It was casually grazing on the lawn and it didn't seem to notice me as I carried the corpse to the plastic bag. It was too busy pecking away at something more interesting.

A bit like on these boards sometimes...  

They have pigeons with green mohicans in Oz don't they? First saw them at Coff's Harbour. It was like seeing a suited MP with a green mohican it was that strange.

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I saw a treecreeper at the weekend.  You don't see them everyday.

A good spot for sure. I had 2 Goldfinches one day but haven't seen them since. Need to pick up some mealworm and sunflower hearts at lunch.

Galted - they are way too stupid, at least ray is. You can hear him coming a mile off.

When I had the kitten over Xmas I tried to instil my hatred of pigeons in her by holding her at the window and growling at the useless f*cking things.  But she'd only stare at them for a bit then bite me on the nose.

It instinctively went after the vermin

I was thinking this one wont last long... with that grieving killing machine of a mother in the vicinity. I've already found a few bird corpses around the yard too - right near where the kittens were 'housed'.

Late this afternoon it sat prettily about 3m away from me on my driveway... sorrow in her eyes. I felt we made some sort of connection for a fleeting moment.

I've chucked some white and purple flowers in the Gap as a mark of my sincere condolences and heart-felt sympathy towards her. Also to cover any potential death smell she might sense.

seanmichaels wrote:

Linebreaker wrote:Thanks sean. I feel more jolly now.

Got a few fat ones (a couple of different species of pigeons) here as well. I nearly stepped on one yesterday when I was in my state of shock. It was casually grazing on the lawn and it didn't seem to notice me as I carried the corpse to the plastic bag. It was too busy pecking away at something more interesting.

A bit like on these boards sometimes...  

They have pigeons with green mohicans in Oz don't they? First saw them at Coff's Harbour. It was like seeing a suited MP with a green mohican it was that strange.

I know those ones... they're quite bizarre looking!

We get your average ubiquitous grey pigeon plus many other similar-looking species or crossbreeds around here.

The casual one I referred to above was a fawn colour with bits of dark brown, black and white... with a sort of WW1 German helmet-looking spike on its head. It talks (or coos) with an Aussie drawl though... and doesn't seem too aware of any potential danger.

Pigeons have regional accents...

The pigeons in Laandon are all massive c*nts.

Fun pigeon facts...

Pigeons are the only bird in the world to have been observed having homosexual relationships.

They're homers you know...

They are the most decorated of all animals with regards to Military honours