The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

First topic message reminder :

And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Actually, Jodie Foster's exploits are quite interesting. She's traded in an absolute howler for quite a high quality piece of old school minge.

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:The rugger board always seems one GE comment from complete anarchy. He does crack me up though. Probably because I'm not English

GE is a legend. He's completely shameless with his wumming but the rest just can't resist. The old fella cracks me up as well, the one who takes pages of stats about NZ and puts them in a format that no-one can read and gets all shirty when other posters don't tell him how brilliant his posts are.

emack, I presume? Went off for a while and returned with a thread about peaks. I don't think I've actually bothered to read the whole thing yet, as its rather long and pedestrian paced. Also offers no actual resolutions.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Idiot.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Idiot.

Don't worry about it Galted, we're a quarter of the way to page split, it won't last long

kingraf wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Idiot.

Don't worry about it Galted,  we're a quarter of the way to page split, it won't last long

Cheers, kingraf. I'll do my best to hurry it along, I don't need this reminder at the top of every page.

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Idiot.

Don't worry about it Galted,  we're a quarter of the way to page split, it won't last long

Cheers, kingraf. I'll do my best to hurry it along, I don't need this reminder at the top of every page.

I don't mind helping.

kingraf wrote:

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Idiot.

Don't worry about it Galted,  we're a quarter of the way to page split, it won't last long

Cheers, kingraf.  I'll do my best to hurry it along, I don't need this reminder at the top of every page.

I don't mind helping.

Very good. Will help our post counts along as well.

Pubes (just to help of course)

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Idiot.

Don't worry about it Galted,  we're a quarter of the way to page split, it won't last long

Cheers, kingraf.  I'll do my best to hurry it along, I don't need this reminder at the top of every page.

I don't mind helping.

Very good. Will help our post counts along as well.

Don't mention it

Really,

it's only pleasure

kingraf wrote:it's only pleasure

That doesn't make much sense. I suggest that you proofread it and repost.

It's only a pleasure.

Ah. That makes much more sense.

I do seem to have difficulty adding the letter "a", as well "an"... Proofreading just takes so long

It's especially difficult when you've had a skinful the previous evening.

Didn't a TV newsreader once spoonerise the phrase "Turkish Kurds"?

Anyway, onto business.

Scotch Egg (x2)
Crisps, Salt & Vinegar (1 x packet)
Apple (x1)
Tangerine (x2)
Banana (x1)
Crème Egg (x1)

That is all.

Isn't it a Cadbury's Cream Egg?

Sausage roll, and a Samosa... And now a Rennie

Cheese Salad Sandwich, in every way shape and form as disappointing and underwhelming as yesterday's soup.

Beef stir fry (from last night), packet of Mr Porky's pork scratching. Bag of Maoam Stripes.

I had a 3-piece variety meal. It was f*cking disgusting, I don't know why it is I keep doing it.

Like I said, 800g spare ribs. Dirt cheap as well. Washed down with Glaceau vitaminwater, it might have been exposed as an absolute sham, but it just, tastes so good

Galted wrote:I had a 3-piece variety meal. It was f*cking disgusting, I don't know why it is I keep doing it.

You are the Rhianna to the 3 piece Chris Brown

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Corn fed chicken breast. Had some shredded cabbage, cauliflower, a small dollop of mash potato and a few vine tomatoes.

The chicken was ok, albeit a little dry, the mash was perfectly adequate and the cauliflower was cooked quite well with a hint of curry in it. The cabbage was fine but did smell of farts. Not sure if chef had dropped his guts on my plate as a punishment for taking the p*ss regularly or if everyone's smelled farty. I didn't ask. The tomatoes were delicious but mainly because I added a little salt to them which makes all the difference.

The whole lunch was, however, ruined by one of the girls from the back office who came and sat with me. I like to have my lunch on my own and I thought she knew that. The conversation was perfectly pleasant but she is quite a big girl and her right leg kept touching my left leg. I didn't like it.

I've just realised that my next ertha is going to come out like flubber.

seanmichaels wrote:I've just realised that my next ertha is going to come out like flubber.

You need to change your ertha kit.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Corn fed chicken breast.  Had some shredded cabbage, cauliflower, a small dollop of mash potato and a few vine tomatoes.

The chicken was ok, albeit a little dry, the mash was perfectly adequate and the cauliflower was cooked quite well with a hint of curry in it.  The cabbage was fine but did smell of farts.  Not sure if chef had dropped his guts on my plate as a punishment for taking the p*ss regularly or if everyone's smelled farty.  I didn't ask.  The tomatoes were delicious but mainly because I added a little salt to them which makes all the difference.

The whole lunch was, however, ruined by one of the girls from the back office who came and sat with me.  I like to have my lunch on my own and I thought she knew that.  The conversation was perfectly pleasant but she is quite a big girl and her right leg kept touching my left leg.  I didn't like it.

Two of the server engineers once made the mistake of sitting down at the angry Kiwi's table when he was in the deli on his lunchbreak. He told them to f*ck off and they did.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And I am beating Galted.

Life is good.

Galted wrote:Two of the server engineers once made the mistake of sitting down at the angry Kiwi's table when he was in the deli on his lunchbreak.  He told them to f*ck off and they did.

As I said, she is quite a big girl and I think she could possibly take me in a fight so I just pretended to be interested in her boyfriends Audi TT whilst trying not to vomit everytime her leg brushed mine.

In 7 years I have never once sat down and eaten in our canteen. If I get a soup, panini or baguette, I take it to the car and eat it there.

seanmichaels wrote:In 7 years I have never once sat down and eaten in our canteen. If I get a soup, panini or baguette, I take it to the car and eat it there.

I might join you if Kim comes and sits next to me again.

I'd do Kim. She sounds dirty.

Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

seanmichaels wrote:I'd do Kim. She sounds dirty.

I think she probably is. She looks like a chubby Fearne Cotton.

What is your phone number, I will pass it on? She already has a boyfriend but he sounds like a c*nt so you might be in.

I will tell her you look like that Klopp chap and see how that goes down.

I would actually like to do a fat bird again. If I am ever single I am going to go online and work my way through the cuddly/voluptuous section.

I'm in second place.Time for a quick surge.

kingraf wrote:I'm in second place.Time for a quick surge.

Soggy biscuit?

seanmichaels wrote:I would actually like to do a fat bird again. If I am ever single I am going to go online and work my way through the cuddly/voluptuous section.

A mate of mine swears up and down that the fatties the the best head. Theory goes that they work harder and are more eager to please on account of their physical disadvantages

seanmichaels wrote:Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

I once got off with a great big fat bird at a party after one of the Aussie housemates dared me to.  There was a whole bunch of them grinning and giving me the thumbs up while I did it.  I found out later that she'd sucked him off not long before.

Clever wordplay? I don't know why I f*cking bother.

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

I once got off with a great big fat bird at a party after one of the Aussie housemates dared me to.  There was a whole bunch of them grinning and giving me the thumbs up while I did it.  She found out later that I'd sucked him off not long before.

Fixed.

seanmichaels wrote:

kingraf wrote:I'm in second place.Time for a quick surge.

Soggy biscuit?

No thanks, had nearly a kilogram of ribs. I might not eat tonight either. And I certainly wont eat a soggy biscuit you perverted older man!!!

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

I once got off with a great big fat bird at a party after one of the Aussie housemates dared me to.  There was a whole bunch of them grinning and giving me the thumbs up while I did it.  I found out later that she'd sucked him off not long before.

But did they tell whether she sucked better than average-sized women

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

I once got off with a great big fat bird at a party after one of the Aussie housemates dared me to.  There was a whole bunch of them grinning and giving me the thumbs up while I did it.  She found out later that I'd sucked him off not long before.

Fixed.

Your parents should have been.

Idiot.

kingraf wrote:

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

I once got off with a great big fat bird at a party after one of the Aussie housemates dared me to.  There was a whole bunch of them grinning and giving me the thumbs up while I did it.  I found out later that she'd sucked him off not long before.

But did they tell whether she sucked better than average-sized women

They didn't. One of them had a really fit 18-year-old girlfriend, the kind you'd only see in FHM, and he dumbed her because (and I quote), "she won't do blowies, mate. Not one blowie."

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

I once got off with a great big fat bird at a party after one of the Aussie housemates dared me to.  There was a whole bunch of them grinning and giving me the thumbs up while I did it.  She found out later that I'd sucked him off not long before.

Fixed.

Your parents should have been.

Idiot.

I bet you laughed.

Life is good.

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

I once got off with a great big fat bird at a party after one of the Aussie housemates dared me to.  There was a whole bunch of them grinning and giving me the thumbs up while I did it.  I found out later that she'd sucked him off not long before.

But did they tell whether she sucked better than average-sized women

They didn't.  One of them had a really fit 18-year-old girlfriend, the kind you'd only see in FHM, and he dumbed her because (and I quote), "she won't do blowies, mate. Not one blowie."

  

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

I once got off with a great big fat bird at a party after one of the Aussie housemates dared me to.  There was a whole bunch of them grinning and giving me the thumbs up while I did it.  I found out later that she'd sucked him off not long before.

I love drunken party stories. At one particular post season do, a friend of mine went down on a fat bird in a compost heap in her garden. Turns out my other mate (big STD candidate) had thrown one up her half an hour before.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

I once got off with a great big fat bird at a party after one of the Aussie housemates dared me to.  There was a whole bunch of them grinning and giving me the thumbs up while I did it.  I found out later that she'd sucked him off not long before.

But did they tell whether she sucked better than average-sized women

They didn't.  One of them had a really fit 18-year-old girlfriend, the kind you'd only see in FHM, and he dumbed her because (and I quote), "she won't do blowies, mate. Not one blowie."

  

It happens...

Never been with a fattie, I was a fattie till I was 14, so the sight of a fattie now repulses me.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Actually, I was once getting down with a fat girl called Kim in a hotel room in a castle. It only had a single bed. No word of a lie, she fell out of the bed whilst she was choking the chicken as she was so fat and unbalanced.

I once got off with a great big fat bird at a party after one of the Aussie housemates dared me to.  There was a whole bunch of them grinning and giving me the thumbs up while I did it.  I found out later that she'd sucked him off not long before.

But did they tell whether she sucked better than average-sized women

They didn't.  One of them had a really fit 18-year-old girlfriend, the kind you'd only see in FHM, and he dumbed her because (and I quote), "she won't do blowies, mate. Not one blowie."

  

You were right to be astonished.

I did, of course, mean "dumbbed".