The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
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Pal Joey
JuliusHMarx
seanmichaels
Union Cane
Galted
rIck_dAgless
kingraf
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The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
First topic message reminder :
You say tomato, I say Tamara Ecclestone (who michaels has almost certainly probably had a slice of)
You say tomato, I say Tamara Ecclestone (who michaels has almost certainly probably had a slice of)
kingraf- raf
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
If you build it, they will come
kingraf- raf
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
The only reason you stay here is so you can f*ck my mother and eat her food.
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Galted wrote:The only reason you stay here is so you can f*ck my mother and eat her food.
We should be discussing this over PM.
And I didn't eat her food.
Mind the windows Tino.- Beano
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted wrote:The only reason you stay here is so you can f*ck my mother and eat her food.
We should be discussing this over PM.
And I didn't eat her food.
Really? I suppose a box of Lunchables can just grow legs and f*cking walk, can it?
Ars*hole.
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Lunch Review:
A box of Lunchables.
Price: N/A - stole them out of Galted's mum's kitchen.
Taste: N/A - they were free.
Service: - 4/5 She let me whip her in the mimsy so I was delighted.
A box of Lunchables.
Price: N/A - stole them out of Galted's mum's kitchen.
Taste: N/A - they were free.
Service: - 4/5 She let me whip her in the mimsy so I was delighted.
superflyweight- Superfly
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
10 M&S cocktail sausages, 3 M&S Finest mini sausage rolls. Alright particularly as I nicked 3 sachets of HP sauce from the Deli section of the petrol station.
seanmichaels- seanmichaels
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Galted wrote:Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted wrote:The only reason you stay here is so you can f*ck my mother and eat her food.
We should be discussing this over PM.
And I didn't eat her food.
Really? I suppose a box of Lunchables can just grow legs and f*cking walk, can it?
Ars*hole.
Oh sorry, I thought the Lunchables were yours, that's why I ate them.
In that case, I did eat her food.
Mind the windows Tino.- Beano
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
superflyweight wrote:
Service: - 4/5 She let me whip her in the mimsy so I was delighted.
Coffee. Everywhere. Keyboard ruined. Nose burnt from inside out.
Mind the windows Tino.- Beano
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
I've used my excellent sleuthing skills and incisive logic to conclude that it was either superflyweight or Tino who nicked them.
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Floured bap containing chicken, pepper, cucumber, cheese, lettuce & pickle - Very nice.
McCoy's Ridge Cut Cheddar & Onion - Very nice
Hobnobs "Medley" - Very nice
Two apples - Very nice
Satsuma (from ZA, #3029 - perhaps you know it KR?) - Very nice
Banana - Haven't had it yet, saving it for golf later
McCoy's Ridge Cut Cheddar & Onion - Very nice
Hobnobs "Medley" - Very nice
Two apples - Very nice
Satsuma (from ZA, #3029 - perhaps you know it KR?) - Very nice
Banana - Haven't had it yet, saving it for golf later
Union Cane- Moderator
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Union Cane wrote:
Banana - Haven't had it yet, saving it for golf later
Golf w@nker.
seanmichaels- seanmichaels
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
seanmichaels wrote:Union Cane wrote:
Banana - Haven't had it yet, saving it for golf later
Golf w@nker.
Agreed.
C*nts.
Mind the windows Tino.- Beano
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Galted wrote:I've used my excellent sleuthing skills and incisive logic to conclude that it was either superflyweight or Tino who nicked them.
It was superfly. I was busy upstairs with your mum.
Mind the windows Tino.- Beano
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
seanmichaels wrote:Union Cane wrote:
Banana - Haven't had it yet, saving it for golf later
Golf w@nker.
Two stories about normal w@nkers...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2622190/Meet-retired-builder-70-spends-hundreds-pounds-month-Gucci-Vivienne-Westwood-clothes.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2622224/Teenager-nicknamed-Nandos-love-fast-food-chain-gets-logo-tattooed-BOTTOM-angry-wont-free-meals.html
And a heart-warming story...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2621766/Seven-months-pregnant-wife-set-fire-Nepalese-husband-family-failed-motorbike-water-buffalo-dowry.html
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:seanmichaels wrote:Union Cane wrote:
Banana - Haven't had it yet, saving it for golf later
Golf w@nker.
Agreed.
C*nts.
Harsh.
I will be in all black this evening, so more like a ninja than a slightly disappointed children's entertainer or whatever it was.
Union Cane- Moderator
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Union Cane wrote:Mind the windows Tino. wrote:seanmichaels wrote:Union Cane wrote:
Banana - Haven't had it yet, saving it for golf later
Golf w@nker.
Agreed.
C*nts.
Harsh.
I will be in all black this evening, so more like a ninja than a slightly disappointed children's entertainer or whatever it was.
I love you, Union, but this golf thing has really driven a wedge between us.
Mind the windows Tino.- Beano
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
In all honesty there was a fair way between us to start with.
Union Cane- Moderator
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Union Cane wrote:Banana - Haven't had it yet, saving it for golf later
You can't play golf with a banana.
JuliusHMarx- julius
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Union Cane wrote:In all honesty there was a fair way between us to start with.
200 miles?
seanmichaels- seanmichaels
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Union Cane wrote:In all honesty there was a fair way between us to start with.
Good joke. I'm green with envy.
JuliusHMarx- julius
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
JuliusHMarx wrote:Union Cane wrote:In all honesty there was a fair way between us to start with.
Good joke. I'm green with envy.
Bet he thinks he's Spike Mulligan after such esteemed praise.
seanmichaels- seanmichaels
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Angry Kiwi Watch
Rant began at 7/5/14 13.40
Ended 13.48
Ferocity of rant: 3/5
Description of rant:
scowling, various incredulous expressions
bellowing "f*ck you", "f*ck this" and "I hate this f*cking place" at his screen, further mutters of "I hate this f*cking place"
slamming his fist into the desk, hitting his the delete button extra hard, kicking a cage and muttering "f*ck this, I'm going on lunch"
trying to slam the door, moving the bit of cardboard obstructing the door out of the way and then slamming the door
Head colour: pink (slightly more so than normal)
Reason for rant: he received an e-mail that used the phrases "high-profile activity" and "high priority"
Attire: green shirt, black trousers
Rant began at 7/5/14 13.40
Ended 13.48
Ferocity of rant: 3/5
Description of rant:
scowling, various incredulous expressions
bellowing "f*ck you", "f*ck this" and "I hate this f*cking place" at his screen, further mutters of "I hate this f*cking place"
slamming his fist into the desk, hitting his the delete button extra hard, kicking a cage and muttering "f*ck this, I'm going on lunch"
trying to slam the door, moving the bit of cardboard obstructing the door out of the way and then slamming the door
Head colour: pink (slightly more so than normal)
Reason for rant: he received an e-mail that used the phrases "high-profile activity" and "high priority"
Attire: green shirt, black trousers
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Was so busy watching the angry Kiwi that I missed the hole of the golf-punning session.
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Galted wrote:I missed the hole of the golf-punning session.
Me too, i was making some tee.
rIck_dAgless- rik
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
rick_dagless wrote:Galted wrote:I missed the hole of the golf-punning session.
Me too, i was making some tee.
I wood give anything to say something so clever.
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Galted wrote:I wood give anything to say something so clever.
My puns need to be ironed out to be fair...
rIck_dAgless- rik
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
rick_dagless wrote:Galted wrote:I missed the hole of the golf-punning session.
Me too, i was making some tee.
With your handicup?
Pal Joey- PJ
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Hello, Lb. Good to see you chipping in as well.
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Galted wrote:Hello, Lb. Good to see you chipping in as well.
he can be excused being a bit late to the punnery as he lives a fairway from here
rIck_dAgless- rik
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Some quality punnage on show here, putting my effort to shame.
Union Cane- Moderator
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
G'day mate. Shocking put wasn't it?
Watching "Bite Me with Dr Mike Leahy" - he showed some awful, very sore looking pus infections shearers can get from infected sheep. One poor bastard has this "globe" of pus about the size of the top third of an orange on his head. Yeow!! (apparently it goes away after 6 weeks)
Ahh... he's found a taipan now. Lovely.
Watching "Bite Me with Dr Mike Leahy" - he showed some awful, very sore looking pus infections shearers can get from infected sheep. One poor bastard has this "globe" of pus about the size of the top third of an orange on his head. Yeow!! (apparently it goes away after 6 weeks)
Ahh... he's found a taipan now. Lovely.
Pal Joey- PJ
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Galted wrote:
Attire: green shirt
Wilted spinach colour?
Mind the windows Tino.- Beano
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Hope all these high standard golf puns don't become an albatross around our necks.
JuliusHMarx- julius
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Julius wrote:Hope all these high standard golf puns don't become an albatross around our necks.
It hopefully will not with wordsmith admins such as yourself keeping an eagle eye on proceedings Julius...
rIck_dAgless- rik
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted wrote:
Attire: green shirt
Wilted spinach colour?
Lighter than that, possibly due to use.
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Galted wrote:Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted wrote:
Attire: green shirt
Wilted spinach colour?
Lighter than that, possibly due to use.
Worked in DIY a while has he?
seanmichaels- seanmichaels
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
That was a slice of luck.
Union Cane- Moderator
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
The Angry Kiwi's back from lunch, ranting even worse than before.
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Galted wrote:The Angry Kiwi's back from lunch, ranting even worse than before.
What is he on the GAKFS now?
rIck_dAgless- rik
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Still 3, seemed on the verge of breaking a 4 but has gone off now to do whatever it was the email requested him to do.
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Bite into a kiwi fruit and say look, i'm eating your mum out - it'll calm him down I promiseGalted wrote:The Angry Kiwi's back from lunch, ranting even worse than before.
Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
ShahenshahG wrote:Bite into a kiwi fruit and say look, i'm eating your mum out - it'll calm him down I promiseGalted wrote:The Angry Kiwi's back from lunch, ranting even worse than before.
He'd probably be vaguely ok with that. If I said, "going forward, please cascade the information that I'm going to eat your mum out" he'd cut me up with his Stanley knife.
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Ask him round your desk for a brainstorming session with a flipchart.
seanmichaels- seanmichaels
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Kiwi fruits originated in China.
JuliusHMarx- julius
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Charles II was allergic to Braeburn apples.
Mind the windows Tino.- Beano
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Chinese food originates in New Zealand.
superflyweight- Superfly
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
seanmichaels wrote:Ask him round your desk for a brainstorming session with a flipchart.
I would like the angry Kiwi to work in the Civil Service, he would go Dumblane before lunch time.
Rowley- Admin
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
superflyweight wrote:Chinese food originates in New Zealand.
I was thinking of you the other day. Desperate for a cr@p on sunday morning but had the bird's friends staying over. Fabricated a story that I needed to clean her car so drove off, dumped the car at one of those east european car washes and strolled into town. All the shops were shut and public toilets closed. By this time my ring was at its wits end so picked the clean car up, drove home and opted for the dump / shower combo.
Unfortunately the curry I cooked the night before had played havoc with my guts and the bog was destroyed. Despite opening the window and blocking the door with a towel, the fumes got caught in a jet stream type airflow, straight downstairs to the kitchen where the missus and her girl friends were eating there breakfast. I was mortified. Missus made me apologise.
seanmichaels- seanmichaels
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
seanmichaels wrote:superflyweight wrote:Chinese food originates in New Zealand.
I was thinking of you the other day. Desperate for a cr@p on sunday morning but had the bird's friends staying over. Fabricated a story that I needed to clean her car so drove off, dumped the car at one of those east european car washes and strolled into town. All the shops were shut and public toilets closed. By this time my ring was at its wits end so picked the clean car up, drove home and opted for the dump / shower combo.
Unfortunately the curry I cooked the night before had played havoc with my guts and the bog was destroyed. Despite opening the window and blocking the door with a towel, the fumes got caught in a jet stream type airflow, straight downstairs to the kitchen where the missus and her girl friends were eating there breakfast. I was mortified. Missus made me apologise.
Did you use your guts to threaten them into a foursome?
Galted- Galted
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Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved
Galted wrote:
Did you use your guts to threaten them into a foursome?
I blew that on Saturday night. Turned up stinking of booze, diesel and fags (not supposed to be smoking). Food restored some points but I was pretty lashed up by poontang time.
seanmichaels- seanmichaels
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