The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

Sh1t on here today.

Galted wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Julius wrote:"We"? How do you plan to time my post right?

It was more to not flood the board to give you oppurtunity to hit the double whammy, but alas...

It was so close to working.

Did you have a nice weekend, Galted?

Sorry I didn't turn up for the lawnmower escapades. Some other time, maybe.

Has anyone stuck a can of beer up a chicken's arris and roasted it? I'm going to give it a try tonight.

Apt split post I feel...

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Julius wrote:"We"? How do you plan to time my post right?

It was more to not flood the board to give you oppurtunity to hit the double whammy, but alas...

It was so close to working.

Did you have a nice weekend, Galted?

Sorry I didn't turn up for the lawnmower escapades.  Some other time, maybe.

I had a charming weekend, thanks. How was yours?

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:Awesome Tina, truly spectacular. Will make you southerners jealous but three courses and all our drinks for four of us, for barely over £100.

Glad to hear it.  Did TSMR enjoy herself?

She did, also made arrangements to watch the Froch fight at the brothers so successful night all round.

So a nice meal and some diary arrangements constitutes a successful night for you these days, Jeff?

Rock and roll.

seanmichaels wrote:Has anyone stuck a can of beer up a chicken's arris and roasted it? I'm going to give it a try tonight.

Please let this be the first post of the split thread.

Galted wrote:Please let this be the first post of the split thread.

it was your:

Galted wrote:Sh1t on here today.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Julius wrote:"We"? How do you plan to time my post right?

It was more to not flood the board to give you oppurtunity to hit the double whammy, but alas...

It was so close to working.

Did you have a nice weekend, Galted?

Sorry I didn't turn up for the lawnmower escapades.  Some other time, maybe.

I had a charming weekend, thanks.  How was yours?

Alright thanks. My eldest boy won an award at the rugby club presentation evening on Saturday. Clubman of the year for his age group. Basically it means he is sh*t at rugby but turns up every week and tries his hardest. He was proud of himself at least.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:Awesome Tina, truly spectacular. Will make you southerners jealous but three courses and all our drinks for four of us, for barely over £100.

Glad to hear it.  Did TSMR enjoy herself?

She did, also made arrangements to watch the Froch fight at the brothers so successful night all round.

So a nice meal and some diary arrangements constitutes a successful night for you these days, Jeff?

Rock and roll.  

Coming from a man whose diary appears to consist of getting beat up by children and deciding which god awful sweater/shirt combination to unleash on your unfortunate work colleagues I am not sure you are in a place to offer criticism.

Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 9999.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:I'm hoping to maybe do a sex this evening.

How did it go?

Surely sex with TIMC is just a w*nk?

The tadpoles are still in the tank, unfortunately.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:Awesome Tina, truly spectacular. Will make you southerners jealous but three courses and all our drinks for four of us, for barely over £100.

Glad to hear it.  Did TSMR enjoy herself?

She did, also made arrangements to watch the Froch fight at the brothers so successful night all round.

So a nice meal and some diary arrangements constitutes a successful night for you these days, Jeff?

Rock and roll.  

Coming from a man whose diary appears to consist of getting beat up by children and deciding which god awful sweater/shirt combination to unleash on your unfortunate work colleagues I am not sure you are in a place to offer criticism.

Light blue shirt and black jumper today.

You seem a bit sensitive this morning, Jeff. Everything alright?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Julius wrote:"We"? How do you plan to time my post right?

It was more to not flood the board to give you oppurtunity to hit the double whammy, but alas...

It was so close to working.

Did you have a nice weekend, Galted?

Sorry I didn't turn up for the lawnmower escapades.  Some other time, maybe.

I had a charming weekend, thanks.  How was yours?

Alright thanks.  My eldest boy won an award at the rugby club presentation evening on Saturday.  Clubman of the year for his age group.  Basically it means he is sh*t at rugby but turns up every week and tries his hardest.  He was proud of himself at least.

I hope that you and the missus booed loudly. Don't allow your children to be satisfied with mediocrity, Tino, mine allowed theirs to be.

Did not sleep particularly well last night Tina, your concern, which I am going to assume is genuine, does help though.

Rowley wrote:Did not sleep particularly well last night Tina, your concern, which I am going to assume is genuine, does help though.

Always here for you, Jeff.

8999! This really is quite a special day.

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Has anyone stuck a can of beer up a chicken's arris and roasted it? I'm going to give it a try tonight.

Please let this be the first post of the split thread.

It is a serious question

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Has anyone stuck a can of beer up a chicken's arris and roasted it? I'm going to give it a try tonight.

Please let this be the first post of the split thread.

It is a serious question

It's a serious plea.

I've reached
Ten thou
 
My culture is high-brow
 
Julius!
Julius! (that's me!)
 
On this auspicious occasion I'd like to say few words. They may not be much but they're from the heart.
 
You're all w@nkers. I love you all. No, really you are all w@nkers. In a good way.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Julius wrote:"We"? How do you plan to time my post right?

It was more to not flood the board to give you oppurtunity to hit the double whammy, but alas...

It was so close to working.

Did you have a nice weekend, Galted?

Sorry I didn't turn up for the lawnmower escapades.  Some other time, maybe.

I had a charming weekend, thanks.  How was yours?

Alright thanks.  My eldest boy won an award at the rugby club presentation evening on Saturday.  Clubman of the year for his age group.  Basically it means he is sh*t at rugby but turns up every week and tries his hardest.  He was proud of himself at least.

I hope that you and the missus booed loudly.  Don't allow your children to be satisfied with mediocrity, Tino, mine allowed theirs to be.

The coach made a little speech for all the boys who won an award. The comments that preceded my sons award were all about turning up whatever the weather, wherever the game is, always on time etc etc. I'm sitting there thinking, 'hold on, who is the bastard that takes him to all these games and stands in the cold and wet whilst watching him give away another penalty or knock the ball on for the 5th time'. I tell you who that person is, it's me for f*cks sake. Without me, he wouldn't be turning up anywhere. At least 50% of that award belongs to me. I might saw it in half. That should teach him a solid life lesson.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I've reached
Ten thou
 
My culture is high-brow
 
Julius!
Julius! (that's me!)
 
On this auspicious occasion I'd like to say few words. They may not be much but they're from the heart.
 
You're all w@nkers. I love you all. No, really you are all w@nkers. In a good way.

        

Love you, old man.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I've reached
Ten thou
 
My culture is high-brow
 
Julius!
Julius! (that's me!)
 
On this auspicious occasion I'd like to say few words. They may not be much but they're from the heart.
 
You're all w@nkers. I love you all. No, really you are all w@nkers. In a good way.

        

Love you, old man.

I'll second that. Exceptional post. I'm no longer ashamed of being a w@nker.

Galted wrote:I'm no longer ashamed of being a w@nker.

Thirded, I shall crack one off with pride tonight...

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Julius wrote:"We"? How do you plan to time my post right?

It was more to not flood the board to give you oppurtunity to hit the double whammy, but alas...

It was so close to working.

Did you have a nice weekend, Galted?

Sorry I didn't turn up for the lawnmower escapades.  Some other time, maybe.

I had a charming weekend, thanks.  How was yours?

Alright thanks.  My eldest boy won an award at the rugby club presentation evening on Saturday.  Clubman of the year for his age group.  Basically it means he is sh*t at rugby but turns up every week and tries his hardest.  He was proud of himself at least.

I hope that you and the missus booed loudly.  Don't allow your children to be satisfied with mediocrity, Tino, mine allowed theirs to be.

The coach made a little speech for all the boys who won an award.  The comments that preceded my sons award were all about turning up whatever the weather, wherever the game is, always on time etc etc.  I'm sitting there thinking, 'hold on, who is the bastard that takes him to all these games and stands in the cold and wet whilst watching him give away another penalty or knock the ball on for the 5th time'.  I tell you who that person is, it's me for f*cks sake.  Without me, he wouldn't be turning up anywhere.  At least 50% of that award belongs to me.  I might saw it in half.  That should teach him a solid life lesson.

I feel your pain Tina. I have spent the last ten years taking my nephew to play football, every week, home and away, have paid for everything, even missed Froch Bute to take him to a tournament and weekend away in Blackpool. TSMR had been coming for one season to do the sandwiches and she received a present at the end of season awards.

Where was she 10 years stood in a field in Barnsley when they were getting hammered 8-0

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I've reached
Ten thou
 
My culture is high-brow
 
Julius!
Julius! (that's me!)
 
On this auspicious occasion I'd like to say few words. They may not be much but they're from the heart.
 
You're all w@nkers. I love you all. No, really you are all w@nkers. In a good way.

        

Love you, old man.

I'll second that. Exceptional post. I'm no longer ashamed of being a w@nker.

I don't w.ank. But congratulations JulioI Here's to next however long you have left

Rowley wrote:Where was she 10 years stood in a field in Barnsley when they were getting hammered 8-0

If you have a specific date, I might be able to tell you where she was.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Julius wrote:"We"? How do you plan to time my post right?

It was more to not flood the board to give you oppurtunity to hit the double whammy, but alas...

It was so close to working.

Did you have a nice weekend, Galted?

Sorry I didn't turn up for the lawnmower escapades.  Some other time, maybe.

I had a charming weekend, thanks.  How was yours?

Alright thanks.  My eldest boy won an award at the rugby club presentation evening on Saturday.  Clubman of the year for his age group.  Basically it means he is sh*t at rugby but turns up every week and tries his hardest.  He was proud of himself at least.

I hope that you and the missus booed loudly.  Don't allow your children to be satisfied with mediocrity, Tino, mine allowed theirs to be.

The coach made a little speech for all the boys who won an award.  The comments that preceded my sons award were all about turning up whatever the weather, wherever the game is, always on time etc etc.  I'm sitting there thinking, 'hold on, who is the bastard that takes him to all these games and stands in the cold and wet whilst watching him give away another penalty or knock the ball on for the 5th time'.  I tell you who that person is, it's me for f*cks sake.  Without me, he wouldn't be turning up anywhere.  At least 50% of that award belongs to me.  I might saw it in half.  That should teach him a solid life lesson.

I feel your pain Tina. I have spent the last ten years taking my nephew to play football, every week, home and away, have paid for everything, even missed Froch Bute to take him to a tournament and weekend away in Blackpool. TSMR had been coming for one season to do the sandwiches and she received a present at the end of season awards.

Where was she 10 years stood in a field in Barnsley when they were getting hammered 8-0

I was an exceptional school athlete, so my parents never felt this shame, but I did feel quite upset last year during my u/14 cricket kids' year end awards, these talentless kids who never bring their kit, almost always come late all got something, and me, the guy who did all the heavy lifting, didn't even get a mention! Bunch of twits

Rowley wrote:

I feel your pain Tina. I have spent the last ten years taking my nephew to play football, every week, home and away, have paid for everything, even missed Froch Bute to take him to a tournament and weekend away in Blackpool. TSMR had been coming for one season to do the sandwiches and she received a present at the end of season awards.

Where was she 10 years stood in a field in Barnsley when they were getting hammered 8-0

You can have a special award from me, Jeff. You can come back into my top 5 posters just for being a nice uncle.

I always get a bottle of wine or 2 from the junior parents at the end of the season. I'd prefer a handjob off one of the mothers but a nice red is a decent runner up.

kingraf wrote: Bunch of twits

That's the second time I've heard or seen that word in the last few weeks.  Was at Lewisham station a while ago and there was some huge Saffa trying to get onto the train before mine.  The door areas were jammed full of people but no-one would move along the inside of the carriages where there was space.  The Saffa was banging on the windows shouting at people to "move down" but everyone just looked away so he ended up screaming "f*cking English twits" and storming off the towards the exits.  Wanted to laugh but was a bit worried he'd see me.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Rowley wrote:Where was she 10 years stood in a field in Barnsley when they were getting hammered 8-0

If you have a specific date, I might be able to tell you where she was.

Another excellent post, Julius, I'm glad to see that you're not resting on your laurels.

Who the f*** rests on their laurels these days? Out of date and overused.

seanmichaels wrote:Who the f*** rests on their laurels these days? Out of date and overused.

This is how it starts.

sean wrote:Who the f*** rests on their laurels these days

Shakespearian actors in a west end run?

seanmichaels wrote:Who the f*** rests on their laurels these days? Out of date and overused.

Not Julius, that's for sure.

I'm resting on my laurels, and my hardys too.  

Also, name me a professional footballer since Gary Lineker who has actually set ou their stall?

JuliusHMarx wrote:I'm resting on my laurels, and my hardy's too.  

Thanks, Julius, you've just made me into a f*cking liar.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I'm resting on my laurels, and my hardy's too.  

Thanks, Julius, you've just made me into a f*cking liar.

Yeah thanks, Julius.  I was starting to believe that Galted had actually had sex with Winona Ryder.

You've now exposed him for the lying charlatan that he clearly is.

I'm not upset, Galted.  Just disappointed.

seanmichaels wrote:Also, name me a professional footballer since Gary Lineker who has actually set ou their stall?

Mick Jones (Leeds Utd) - works in Nottingham market.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Also, name me a professional footballer since Gary Lineker who has actually set ou their stall?

Mick Jones (Leeds Utd) - works in Nottingham market.

#

Since Gary Lineker

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I'm resting on my laurels, and my hardy's too.  

Thanks, Julius, you've just made me into a f*cking liar.

Yeah thanks, Julius.  I was starting to believe that Galted had actually had sex with Winona Ryder.

You've now exposed him for the lying charlatan that he clearly is.

I'm not upset, Galted.  Just disappointed.

Surely disappointment is a form of upset?

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Also, name me a professional footballer since Gary Lineker who has actually set ou their stall?

Mick Jones (Leeds Utd) - works in Nottingham market.

#

Since Gary Lineker

Yeah, spoil a good gag, why don't you?

What's with the random '#'. Tino won't like it.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I'm resting on my laurels, and my hardy's too.  

Thanks, Julius, you've just made me into a f*cking liar.

Yeah thanks, Julius.  I was starting to believe that Galted had actually had sex with Winona Ryder.

You've now exposed him for the lying charlatan that he clearly is.

I'm not upset, Galted.  Just disappointed.

Surely disappointment is a form of upset?

Whatever. Liar.

I need a wee.

I'm totally engrossed,
In making the most,
Of my 9000th post,
Ivory Coast,
Sunday Roast,
Melba Toast.

seanmichaels wrote:I need a wee.

I need a hashtag. You haven't got a spare one have you?

Union Cane wrote:I'm totally engrossed,
In making the most,
Of my 9000th post,
Ivory Coast,
Sunday Roast,
Melba Toast.

That's made it even harder for Jeff to do something spectacular for his 15000th.

Union Cane wrote:I'm totally engrossed,
In making the most,
Of my 9000th post,
Ivory Coast,
Sunday Roast,
Melba Toast.

   

9000th post!
Now count the cost
Of the time that you lost
In that idle boast.

Stupid language, English.