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The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

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Post by kingraf Wed 21 May 2014, 2:43 pm

First topic message reminder :

seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:How's Kim? There was a girl in our meeting who was a bit roomy but had a decent face. Would definitley make love to it given half the chance. I imagine Kim would be like her.

Reason for editing : too many hers, but not to correct 'definitley'


Just bog off
 clap clap clap notworthy notworthy notworthy notworthy notworthy Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh 
That nearly made me ROFLMAO...
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 27 May 2014, 2:45 pm

Sh*t on here today.

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 27 May 2014, 2:46 pm

Watched wolf of wall street at the weekend. Bet he wouldn't be snorting crack out of some prossie's beef monster munch if he'd read that.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 27 May 2014, 2:53 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Watched wolf of wall street at the weekend. Bet he wouldn't be snorting crack out of some prossie's beef monster munch if he'd read that.

How funny, I also watched Wolf of Wall Street this weekend. Genuinely, I did.

I thought it was excellent. Way more interesting than American Hustle.

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 27 May 2014, 2:57 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Watched wolf of wall street at the weekend. Bet he wouldn't be snorting crack out of some prossie's beef monster munch if he'd read that.

How funny, I also watched Wolf of Wall Street this weekend.  Genuinely, I did.  

I thought it was excellent.  Way more interesting than American Hustle.

Entertaining but it was basically Goodfellas in a brokers

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 27 May 2014, 2:59 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Watched wolf of wall street at the weekend. Bet he wouldn't be snorting crack out of some prossie's beef monster munch if he'd read that.

How funny, I also watched Wolf of Wall Street this weekend.  Genuinely, I did.  

I thought it was excellent.  Way more interesting than American Hustle.

Entertaining but it was basically Goodfellas in a brokers

That's actually a very good way of describing it.

Did you come up with that yourself?

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 27 May 2014, 3:01 pm

Yes. That's what I said on Sunday night anyway. Needed an Alien.

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Post by superflyweight Wed 28 May 2014, 7:51 am

You bunch throng of lazy cnuts!

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 28 May 2014, 8:38 am

Still no Galted? I think he may have been over zealous with his bumming in Utrecht.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 28 May 2014, 9:07 am

seanmichaels wrote:Still no Galted? I think he may have been over zealous with his bumming in Utrecht.

You're a bit lost without him aren't you?

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 28 May 2014, 9:14 am

And you.....

Watching the fight this weekend? Hoping my Mum's bloke orders it otherwise I'm f'd

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 28 May 2014, 9:21 am

seanmichaels wrote:

Watching the fight this weekend? Hoping my Mum's bloke orders it otherwise I'm f'd

Probably not. Going to Spain tomorrow morning and not back till Sunday night. Taking all the kids for the first time so I pity the people next to us on the plane.

It will be on in the bars on the estate so I could try and get out to see it but I will probably just sit on the terrace drinking wine in the late evening warmth. I will think of you though.

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Post by Rowley Wed 28 May 2014, 9:22 am

You should get yourself to the bars Tina, would struggle to imagine Wlad will be missing it. Should you end up watching the fight in a bar with Wlad in the Spanish sun I would be suitably impressed.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 28 May 2014, 9:24 am

As will I in a few weeks when I'm having pastis at 7am in the tabac with Zinedine Zidane

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 28 May 2014, 9:25 am

Rowley wrote:You should get yourself to the bars Tina, would struggle to imagine Wlad will be missing it. Should you end up watching the fight in a bar with Wlad in the Spanish sun I would be suitably impressed.

I don't know if he is there. He doesn't return my calls.

Spain is great, Jeff, but even they don't have sunshine at that time of night. It will be warmer than Rotherham but no more sunny.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 28 May 2014, 9:35 am

maaaaayooooooonaaaaaaise

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Post by Rowley Wed 28 May 2014, 9:52 am

The sun always shines in Rotherham Tina, you know this as well as me.

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Post by Rowley Wed 28 May 2014, 11:57 am

Hushed on here today.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 28 May 2014, 12:01 pm

Rowley wrote:Hushed on here today.

Shhhhhh.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 28 May 2014, 12:10 pm

There's only two kinds of people from Rotherham around here, steers and queers. Which one of those are you boy?

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Post by superflyweight Wed 28 May 2014, 12:44 pm

seanmichaels wrote:There's only two kinds of people from Rotherham around here, steers and queers. Which one of those are you boy?

Sean cruising for men again.

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Post by Rowley Wed 28 May 2014, 12:50 pm

superflyweight wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:There's only two kinds of people from Rotherham around here, steers and queers. Which one of those are you boy?

Sean cruising for men again.

I am not going to dress up like a public school boy for him, no matter how nicely he asks.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 28 May 2014, 12:56 pm

Rowley wrote:
superflyweight wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:There's only two kinds of people from Rotherham around here, steers and queers. Which one of those are you boy?

Sean cruising for men again.

I am not going to dress up like a public school boy for him, no matter how nicely he asks.

You two need to leave Seany alone. He definitely didn't get bummed at private school. It doesn't even go on there, Seany knows these things.

Surely his tales of sexual prowess and constant references to minge have been enough to convince you of his straightness?

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 28 May 2014, 1:06 pm

Missus is doing aqua aerobics today. Pool was full of vintage clunge by all accounts.

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Post by superflyweight Wed 28 May 2014, 1:21 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Missus is doing aqua aerobics today. Pool was full of vintage clunge by all accounts.

Assuming that "by all accounts" you mean your missus. Why was she talking about vintage clunge?

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 28 May 2014, 1:27 pm

superflyweight wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Missus is doing aqua aerobics today. Pool was full of vintage clunge by all accounts.

Assuming that "by all accounts" you mean your missus.  Why was she talking about vintage clunge?

she said there was a combined age of 500 in the class of 8. I put 2 and 2 together and came up with the vintage clunge.

If I become single I'm definitely going to try and bang a 60 year old. It will have to be in decent nick and a bit racey but it will be the first on my bucket list I expect.

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Post by superflyweight Wed 28 May 2014, 1:29 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
superflyweight wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Missus is doing aqua aerobics today. Pool was full of vintage clunge by all accounts.

Assuming that "by all accounts" you mean your missus.  Why was she talking about vintage clunge?

she said there was a combined age of 500 in the class of 8. I put 2 and 2 together and came up with the vintage clunge.

If I become single I'm definitely going to try and bang a 60 year old. It will have to be in decent nick and a bit racey but it will be the first on my bucket list I expect.

Strange how different minds work. I put 2 and 2 together and get the image of Thora Hird being lowered into the pool with a mechanised winch.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 28 May 2014, 1:37 pm

superflyweight wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
superflyweight wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Missus is doing aqua aerobics today. Pool was full of vintage clunge by all accounts.

Assuming that "by all accounts" you mean your missus.  Why was she talking about vintage clunge?

she said there was a combined age of 500 in the class of 8. I put 2 and 2 together and came up with the vintage clunge.

If I become single I'm definitely going to try and bang a 60 year old. It will have to be in decent nick and a bit racey but it will be the first on my bucket list I expect.

Strange how different minds work.  I put 2 and 2 together and get the image of Thora Hird being lowered into the pool with a mechanised winch.  

I'm thinking something like Debbie Harry. Big cans - don't necessarily have to hang high still. The kind you see in waitrose. Not ready for 70+ yet mind.

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Post by Rowley Wed 28 May 2014, 3:31 pm

Looks like Julius was Maya Angelou, makes sense, he did always have a way with words.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 28 May 2014, 4:24 pm

Galted? Could explain the Khaki trousers, hi tec and wolfskin combo?

Charlie Porter, who has died of a heart attack aged 63, was an American adventurer who made hair-raising ascents of “Big Walls” in Yosemite, paddled round Cape Horn in a kayak, and established a floating field laboratory to look at climate change in Patagonia.

He was best known for establishing five hugely difficult routes up El Capitan, a massive rock marking the entrance to Yosemite Valley, its sheer grey and orange granite walls rising more than 3,200ft above the Merced River. Defined as a “Big Wall” (a rock face of 1,000ft or more that requires spending at least one night on the climb), many of its routes lack natural handholds, meaning that the climber relies on equipment in order to advance.

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Post by Rowley Wed 28 May 2014, 4:28 pm

That is more than enough evidence for me Sean, shall we name a section after him like we did Windy? To be honest I will go with the majority, but not sure it is warranted, Windy was knowledgable and universally loved and respected.

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Post by superflyweight Wed 28 May 2014, 4:34 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Galted? Could explain the Khaki trousers, hi tec and wolfskin combo?

Charlie Porter, who has died of a heart attack aged 63, was a d1ckhead with terrible taste in clothesn American adventurer who made the staff in Wrap-Me-Up cry with laughter at his autistic lunch demandshair-raising ascents of “Big Walls” in Yosemite, paddled round Cape Horn in a kayak cycled around Hyde Park on a Boris Bike looking for victims, and established a hole in the toilets at work floating field laboratory to look at female colleagues going to the toiletclimate change in Patagonia.

He did something in IT.was best known for establishing five hugely difficult routes up El Capitan, a massive rock marking the entrance to Yosemite Valley, its sheer grey and orange granite walls rising more than 3,200ft above the Merced River. Defined as a “Big Wall” (a rock face of 1,000ft or more that requires spending at least one night on the climb), many of its routes lack natural handholds, meaning that the climber relies on equipment in order to advance.
 
Edited that to make it more likely that he was Galted.

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Post by Rowley Wed 28 May 2014, 4:36 pm

Well I don't think that is an appropriate way to mark his passing Super, no matter how accurate it may be (very)

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Post by Galted Wed 28 May 2014, 6:24 pm

Bastards.

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Post by Galted Wed 28 May 2014, 6:28 pm

Made it back from Utrecht unbummed but the bloody f*cking wankstainery where I work has added forums and auction sites to the list of no-go internet so I can't get on 606 v2 during the day.

I'm thinking of writing a 141-page manifesto about what a pack of c*ntsmears they are and going Elliot on them.

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Post by superflyweight Wed 28 May 2014, 8:42 pm

Looks like we'll need to introduce an evening shift in the Cultural Cup to keep Galted involved.  Or, we could just say a sad goodbye and roll out the obituary for real.

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Post by Galted Wed 28 May 2014, 9:46 pm

Cheers superfly. I usually use the evenings for w*nking and watching the neighbours though.

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Post by Rowley Wed 28 May 2014, 10:10 pm

Look Galted, if superfly is good enough to find time during his busy evenings of drinking buckfast and domestic violence to ensure you can still be part of this culture club the least you can do is sacrifice the third w*nk.

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Post by kingraf Wed 28 May 2014, 10:48 pm

Just got sent a link on how to stay a virgin till I'm 30. All rather awkward to read at 11-30
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Post by Galted Wed 28 May 2014, 10:59 pm

You're right, Jeff. I could always type one-handed as well. Considered smearing tuna on my knob but the cat's tongue is a bit rough.


Last edited by Galted on Wed 28 May 2014, 11:01 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : I work for cunts.)

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Post by Galted Wed 28 May 2014, 11:49 pm

Just finished the second w*nk session of the night. Am available for any chit-chat while I wait for my balls to fill up.

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Post by Galted Wed 28 May 2014, 11:57 pm

Anyone?

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Post by Galted Thu 29 May 2014, 12:03 am

Bastards.

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Post by Galted Thu 29 May 2014, 12:03 am

At least I'm fist again.

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Post by superflyweight Thu 29 May 2014, 6:55 am

Great without Galted today.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 29 May 2014, 7:58 am

Surely IT geeks can get round an internet filter. Mate contracts for RBS and they banned contractors from external emails. Just uses his phone now.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 29 May 2014, 8:57 am

Rubbish on here...

i am sure Galted can login via a personal device to the guest network, that's kinda what I do here.

Wonder if this has angered the Angry Kiwi any more...

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Post by superflyweight Thu 29 May 2014, 9:05 am

Just set up a dummy IP address. I don't know how to do that or even what it is, but I saw a report on them on "John Craven's Newsround" and it seems that kids these days are using them to access porn and stuff on their school pc's.

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Post by Rowley Thu 29 May 2014, 9:09 am

The classic I saw it on John Craven's Newsround defence. Am fast beginning to see why you are regarded as one of Scotland's finest legal minds superfly.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 29 May 2014, 9:15 am

Jeff wrote:The classic I saw it on John Craven's Newsround defence

Better than the "Chewbacca Defence"

But if it is a third party proxy filter then you are doomed, perhaps he he flashes the culture available on here they may think of it as a learning tool rather than a chatroom.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 29 May 2014, 9:17 am

John Craven is only on countryfile these days, and occasionally at thatt. He's been replaced by some fit blonde piece (Ellie Harrison), a geordie chap and my number 1 UK piece Julia Bradbury. Although I'm hearing Bradders has jumped ship to ITV. Just read her described as 'the walking man's crumpet'.

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