The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

First topic message reminder :

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:How's Kim? There was a girl in our meeting who was a bit roomy but had a decent face. Would definitley make love to it given half the chance. I imagine Kim would be like her.

Reason for editing : too many hers, but not to correct 'definitley'

Just bog off

               
That nearly made me ROFLMAO...

Galted wrote:Evening, Tino.  Glated misses you too, he's out drinking and cottaging tonight to get his mind off you.  How's your missus?

Tell Glated I asked after him, please.

She's alright. Bit intense at the moment. I am trying to avoid her when possible.

Will do, he often nips in for a quick fiddle when I'm pretending to be asleep.

You need to let your missus know that her chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids she's dropped so she'd better get her act together or she could be in for a life of loneliness given that your snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get you any non-Ukrainian bird you want.

Galted wrote:Will do, he often nips in for a quick fiddle when I'm pretending to be asleep.

You need to let your missus know that her chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids she's dropped so she'd better get her act together or she could be in for a life of loneliness given that your snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get you any non-Ukrainian bird you want.

Strange you should stay that.  I only said to her this very morning, "listen dear, your chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids you've dropped so you'd better get your act together or you could be in for a life of loneliness given that my snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get me any non-Ukrainian bird I want".

She just told me to f*ck off and carried on giving my dad a handjob.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Belts are a pain at the airport though.

Yes. How do you get through security with your hip? Can you give my missus a few tips?

Here's my tip - don't marry an alcoholic.

She wouldn't marry me.......

Watching Hannah. Good start. Evening Jeff Gino galted Jules and hull kr.

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Belts are a pain at the airport though.

Yes. How do you get through security with your hip? Can you give my missus a few tips?

Here's my tip - don't marry an alcoholic.

She wouldn't marry me.......

Watching Hannah. Good start. Evening Jeff Gino galted Jules and hull kr.

Evening Seany. How many tonight?

Evening Sean.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Will do, he often nips in for a quick fiddle when I'm pretending to be asleep.

You need to let your missus know that her chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids she's dropped so she'd better get her act together or she could be in for a life of loneliness given that your snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get you any non-Ukrainian bird you want.

Strange you should stay that.  I only said to her this very morning, "listen dear, your chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids you've dropped so you'd better get your act together or you could be in for a life of loneliness given that my snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get me any non-Ukrainian bird I want".

She just told me to f*ck off and carried on giving my dad a handjob.

Wow, that's mental, what are the chances?

You need to have a serious chat with her about how she addresses you, especially in front of your dad. Perhaps a bit of domestic violence would be justified in this situation?

Evening michaels.

Bring a Ukrainian home. That will teach her. You're coming to S.A. this month, correct? Just visit a strip club, any strip club, and you'll meet any number of Eastern European strippers just waiting to be seduced with dreams of a better life.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Will do, he often nips in for a quick fiddle when I'm pretending to be asleep.

You need to let your missus know that her chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids she's dropped so she'd better get her act together or she could be in for a life of loneliness given that your snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get you any non-Ukrainian bird you want.

Strange you should stay that.  I only said to her this very morning, "listen dear, your chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids you've dropped so you'd better get your act together or you could be in for a life of loneliness given that my snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get me any non-Ukrainian bird I want".

She just told me to f*ck off and carried on giving my dad a handjob.

Wow, that's mental, what are the chances?

You need to have a serious chat with her about how she addresses you, especially in front of your dad.  Perhaps a bit of domestic violence would be justified in this situation?

She is probably tougher than me so that wouldn't work. But it's alright, I have been sending the kids out to see the local paedo so the jokes on her.

Just 5 cans and 2 glasses of red. Missus did a nice bolognese. Used the oregano and basil I have planted up. Makes a difference.

kingraf wrote:Bring a Ukrainian home. That will teach her. You're coming to S.A. this month, correct? Just visit a strip club, any strip club, and you'll meet any number of Eastern European strippers just waiting to be seduced with dreams of a better life.

Or shoot her mother's face off with a Ruger Redhawk.

Like so...

Spoiler:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Will do, he often nips in for a quick fiddle when I'm pretending to be asleep.

You need to let your missus know that her chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids she's dropped so she'd better get her act together or she could be in for a life of loneliness given that your snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get you any non-Ukrainian bird you want.

Strange you should stay that.  I only said to her this very morning, "listen dear, your chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids you've dropped so you'd better get your act together or you could be in for a life of loneliness given that my snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get me any non-Ukrainian bird I want".

She just told me to f*ck off and carried on giving my dad a handjob.

Wow, that's mental, what are the chances?

You need to have a serious chat with her about how she addresses you, especially in front of your dad.  Perhaps a bit of domestic violence would be justified in this situation?

She is probably tougher than me so that wouldn't work.  But it's alright, I have been sending the kids out to see the local paedo so the jokes on her.

  

I think Culture Cup is the only place left where pedo jokes are still tolerated.

Still haven't told my magic trick joke in full. Perhaps the culture cup soirée is the place...... Hannah is fecking fit. For a minor in a non Rolf way.

Nocturnal on here...

Morning Rick

Morning Rick.
Morning Geoff.

Little annoyed today. Student night, and I'm stuck at work till 10p.m. due to the fact that so many people are on strike in so many places, the newsroom is a little thin. I don't even work in current affairs!!

Morning Jeff.
Morning Raf.

But on the bright side, if it is student night, it wont get going till about 11ish anyway, as everyone will be pre-loading. This means by the time you get there, everyone will be leathered, and you will be sober enough to take advantage, then you can get drunky poos too...

that would be a bright side, except I'm now in a committed relationship

Raf wrote:that would be a bright side, except I'm now in a committed relationship.

Crikey, that was quick!!

Love at first sight mate.

rick_dagless wrote:Nocturnal on here...

Morning Rick.

kingraf wrote:Love at first sight mate.

Morning Rafmeister

Rowley wrote:Morning Rick

Morning Jeff.

bog off windows

seanmichaels wrote:bog off windows

Morning Seany.

morning. lovely one as well.

seanmichaels wrote:morning. lovely one as well.

Aye, working from home today as well so I can lounge around in shorts. No jumpers necessary this morning.

Morning Tino
Morning sean

Raf wrote:Love at first sight mate

Good stuff that rohypnol Raf...

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:morning. lovely one as well.

Aye, working from home today as well so I can lounge around in shorts.  No jumpers necessary this morning.

The image of you in shorts is even more disturbing than the image of you in a Next shirt/jumper combo.

Morning Tino.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:morning. lovely one as well.

Aye, working from home today as well so I can lounge around in shorts.  No jumpers necessary this morning.

The image of you in shorts is even more disturbing than the image of you in a Next shirt/jumper combo.

Morning Tino.

Even if they are tennis shorts?

Morning Jules.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:morning. lovely one as well.

Aye, working from home today as well so I can lounge around in shorts.  No jumpers necessary this morning.

The image of you in shorts is even more disturbing than the image of you in a Next shirt/jumper combo.

Morning Tino.

Even if they are tennis shorts?

Morning Jules.

Especially if they are tennis shorts.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:morning. lovely one as well.

Aye, working from home today as well so I can lounge around in shorts.  No jumpers necessary this morning.

The image of you in shorts is even more disturbing than the image of you in a Next shirt/jumper combo.

Morning Tino.

Even if they are tennis shorts?

Morning Jules.

Especially if they are tennis shorts.

You work from home, but I bet you wander round your palace in a smoking jacket with a brandy at 08:38 in the morning.

I wish I could work from home. I'd wear camouflage gear and a head band like Rambo. Scare the postman and any Jehovah's on the prowl.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

kingraf wrote:Love at first sight mate.

Morning Rafmeister

Morning Tina. Outstanding winter's morning in the republic. The kind of morning that lasts all afternoon. Cold front on the way, so I should enjoy it while it's here.

seanmichaels wrote:I wish I could work from home. I'd wear camouflage gear and a head band like Rambo. Scare the postman and any Jehovah's on the prowl.

Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I wish I could work from home. I'd wear camouflage gear and a head band like Rambo. Scare the postman and any Jehovah's on the prowl.

Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here.  They won't walk that far for God.

They will, but they've worked out that you're not worth saving.

Tino wrote:Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God..

But you get lots of pagan cults and Edward Woodwood...

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I wish I could work from home. I'd wear camouflage gear and a head band like Rambo. Scare the postman and any Jehovah's on the prowl.

Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God.

Carp thing about living in a socially unequal country, we got all sorts of people selling hope.

raf wrote:we got all sorts of people selling hope

We have the National Lottery, which is basically a tax on hope...

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I wish I could work from home. I'd wear camouflage gear and a head band like Rambo. Scare the postman and any Jehovah's on the prowl.

Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here.  They won't walk that far for God.

They will, but they've worked out that you're not worth saving.

When I work in London, I drive in to a town called Royston (not Vasey) and get the train from there. The God squad are quite often at both entrances to the station but they always ignore me.

They can be quite cruel for people of faith.

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God..

But you get lots of pagan cults and Edward Woodwood...

What do you call a man with 3 planks of wood on his head?

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God..

But you get lots of pagan cults and Edward Woodwood...

Ah, The Wicker Man. That scene with Britt Eklund dancing gave me many happy memories as a kid. It's still in my w*nk bank to this day.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God..

But you get lots of pagan cults and Edward Woodwood...

What do you call a man with 3 planks of wood on his head?

Terry?

Mr Woodhead?

No, it's Beatrix Potter.

I don't get it?

The re-make of The Wicker Man was godawful...

Jules wrote:No, it's Beatrix Potter..

That is a man who can juggle 3 pints whilst making a vase...

sean wrote:I don't get it?.

Edward Woodward