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The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

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Post by kingraf Wed 21 May 2014, 2:43 pm

First topic message reminder :

seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:How's Kim? There was a girl in our meeting who was a bit roomy but had a decent face. Would definitley make love to it given half the chance. I imagine Kim would be like her.

Reason for editing : too many hers, but not to correct 'definitley'


Just bog off
 clap clap clap notworthy notworthy notworthy notworthy notworthy Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh 
That nearly made me ROFLMAO...
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:26 pm

Galted wrote:Evening, Tino.  Glated misses you too, he's out drinking and cottaging tonight to get his mind off you.  How's your missus?

Tell Glated I asked after him, please.

She's alright. Bit intense at the moment. I am trying to avoid her when possible.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Galted Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:33 pm

Will do, he often nips in for a quick fiddle when I'm pretending to be asleep.

You need to let your missus know that her chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids she's dropped so she'd better get her act together or she could be in for a life of loneliness given that your snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get you any non-Ukrainian bird you want.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:39 pm

Galted wrote:Will do, he often nips in for a quick fiddle when I'm pretending to be asleep.

You need to let your missus know that her chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids she's dropped so she'd better get her act together or she could be in for a life of loneliness given that your snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get you any non-Ukrainian bird you want.

Strange you should stay that.  I only said to her this very morning, "listen dear, your chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids you've dropped so you'd better get your act together or you could be in for a life of loneliness given that my snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get me any non-Ukrainian bird I want".

She just told me to f*ck off and carried on giving my dad a handjob.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:41 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:Belts are a pain at the airport though.

Yes. How do you get through security with your hip? Can you give my missus a few tips?

Here's my tip - don't marry an alcoholic.

She wouldn't marry me.......

Watching Hannah. Good start. Evening Jeff Gino galted Jules and hull kr.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:43 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:Belts are a pain at the airport though.

Yes. How do you get through security with your hip? Can you give my missus a few tips?

Here's my tip - don't marry an alcoholic.

She wouldn't marry me.......

Watching Hannah. Good start. Evening Jeff Gino galted Jules and hull kr.

Evening Seany. How many tonight?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by kingraf Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:44 pm

Evening Sean.
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Post by Galted Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:44 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:Will do, he often nips in for a quick fiddle when I'm pretending to be asleep.

You need to let your missus know that her chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids she's dropped so she'd better get her act together or she could be in for a life of loneliness given that your snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get you any non-Ukrainian bird you want.

Strange you should stay that.  I only said to her this very morning, "listen dear, your chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids you've dropped so you'd better get your act together or you could be in for a life of loneliness given that my snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get me any non-Ukrainian bird I want".

She just told me to f*ck off and carried on giving my dad a handjob.

Wow, that's mental, what are the chances?

You need to have a serious chat with her about how she addresses you, especially in front of your dad. Perhaps a bit of domestic violence would be justified in this situation?
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Post by Galted Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:45 pm

Evening michaels.
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Post by kingraf Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:48 pm

Bring a Ukrainian home. That will teach her. You're coming to S.A. this month, correct? Just visit a strip club, any strip club, and you'll meet any number of Eastern European strippers just waiting to be seduced with dreams of a better life.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:50 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:Will do, he often nips in for a quick fiddle when I'm pretending to be asleep.

You need to let your missus know that her chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids she's dropped so she'd better get her act together or she could be in for a life of loneliness given that your snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get you any non-Ukrainian bird you want.

Strange you should stay that.  I only said to her this very morning, "listen dear, your chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids you've dropped so you'd better get your act together or you could be in for a life of loneliness given that my snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get me any non-Ukrainian bird I want".

She just told me to f*ck off and carried on giving my dad a handjob.

Wow, that's mental, what are the chances?

You need to have a serious chat with her about how she addresses you, especially in front of your dad.  Perhaps a bit of domestic violence would be justified in this situation?

She is probably tougher than me so that wouldn't work. But it's alright, I have been sending the kids out to see the local paedo so the jokes on her.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:54 pm

Just 5 cans and 2 glasses of red. Missus did a nice bolognese. Used the oregano and basil I have planted up. Makes a difference.

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Post by Galted Wed 04 Jun 2014, 9:56 pm

kingraf wrote:Bring a Ukrainian home. That will teach her. You're coming to S.A. this month, correct? Just visit a strip club, any strip club, and you'll meet any number of Eastern European strippers just waiting to be seduced with dreams of a better life.

Or shoot her mother's face off with a Ruger Redhawk.

Like so...

Spoiler:
The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved - Page 13 John-RugerRedhawk
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Post by Galted Wed 04 Jun 2014, 10:01 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:Will do, he often nips in for a quick fiddle when I'm pretending to be asleep.

You need to let your missus know that her chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids she's dropped so she'd better get her act together or she could be in for a life of loneliness given that your snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get you any non-Ukrainian bird you want.

Strange you should stay that.  I only said to her this very morning, "listen dear, your chances of finding another bit of long-term c0ck are pretty much out the window on account of how many kids you've dropped so you'd better get your act together or you could be in for a life of loneliness given that my snappy dress sense and arthropod knowledge could get me any non-Ukrainian bird I want".

She just told me to f*ck off and carried on giving my dad a handjob.

Wow, that's mental, what are the chances?

You need to have a serious chat with her about how she addresses you, especially in front of your dad.  Perhaps a bit of domestic violence would be justified in this situation?

She is probably tougher than me so that wouldn't work.  But it's alright, I have been sending the kids out to see the local paedo so the jokes on her.

 Laugh 

I think Culture Cup is the only place left where pedo jokes are still tolerated.
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Post by seanmichaels Wed 04 Jun 2014, 10:12 pm

Still haven't told my magic trick joke in full. Perhaps the culture cup soirée is the place...... Hannah is fecking fit. For a minor in a non Rolf way.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 05 Jun 2014, 6:52 am

Nocturnal on here...

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Post by Rowley Thu 05 Jun 2014, 7:29 am

Morning Rick

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Post by kingraf Thu 05 Jun 2014, 7:33 am

Morning Rick.
Morning Geoff.

Little annoyed today. Student night, and I'm stuck at work till 10p.m. due to the fact that so many people are on strike in so many places, the newsroom is a little thin. I don't even work in current affairs!!
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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 05 Jun 2014, 7:38 am

Morning Jeff.
Morning Raf.

But on the bright side, if it is student night, it wont get going till about 11ish anyway, as everyone will be pre-loading. This means by the time you get there, everyone will be leathered, and you will be sober enough to take advantage, then you can get drunky poos too...

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Post by kingraf Thu 05 Jun 2014, 7:52 am

that would be a bright side, except I'm now in a committed relationship
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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 05 Jun 2014, 7:54 am

Raf wrote:that would be a bright side, except I'm now in a committed relationship.

Crikey, that was quick!!

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Post by kingraf Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:03 am

Love at first sight mate.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:11 am

rick_dagless wrote:Nocturnal on here...

Morning Rick.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:11 am

kingraf wrote:Love at first sight mate.

Morning Rafmeister

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:11 am

Rowley wrote:Morning Rick

Morning Jeff.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:15 am

bog off windows

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:18 am

seanmichaels wrote:bog off windows

Morning Seany.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:19 am

morning. lovely one as well.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:21 am

seanmichaels wrote:morning. lovely one as well.

Aye, working from home today as well so I can lounge around in shorts. No jumpers necessary this morning.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:29 am

Morning Tino
Morning sean

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:30 am

Raf wrote:Love at first sight mate

Good stuff that rohypnol Raf...

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:30 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:morning. lovely one as well.

Aye, working from home today as well so I can lounge around in shorts.  No jumpers necessary this morning.

The image of you in shorts is even more disturbing than the image of you in a Next shirt/jumper combo.

Morning Tino.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:32 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:morning. lovely one as well.

Aye, working from home today as well so I can lounge around in shorts.  No jumpers necessary this morning.

The image of you in shorts is even more disturbing than the image of you in a Next shirt/jumper combo.

Morning Tino.

Even if they are tennis shorts?

Morning Jules.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:35 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:morning. lovely one as well.

Aye, working from home today as well so I can lounge around in shorts.  No jumpers necessary this morning.

The image of you in shorts is even more disturbing than the image of you in a Next shirt/jumper combo.

Morning Tino.

Even if they are tennis shorts?

Morning Jules.

Especially if they are tennis shorts.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:38 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:morning. lovely one as well.

Aye, working from home today as well so I can lounge around in shorts.  No jumpers necessary this morning.

The image of you in shorts is even more disturbing than the image of you in a Next shirt/jumper combo.

Morning Tino.

Even if they are tennis shorts?

Morning Jules.

Especially if they are tennis shorts.

You work from home, but I bet you wander round your palace in a smoking jacket with a brandy at 08:38 in the morning.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:40 am

I wish I could work from home. I'd wear camouflage gear and a head band like Rambo. Scare the postman and any Jehovah's on the prowl.

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Post by kingraf Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:42 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
kingraf wrote:Love at first sight mate.

Morning Rafmeister
Morning Tina. Outstanding winter's morning in the republic. The kind of morning that lasts all afternoon. Cold front on the way, so I should enjoy it while it's here.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:45 am

seanmichaels wrote:I wish I could work from home. I'd wear camouflage gear and a head band like Rambo. Scare the postman and any Jehovah's on the prowl.

Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:50 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I wish I could work from home. I'd wear camouflage gear and a head band like Rambo. Scare the postman and any Jehovah's on the prowl.

Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here.  They won't walk that far for God.

They will, but they've worked out that you're not worth saving.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:50 am

Tino wrote:Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God..

But you get lots of pagan cults and Edward Woodwood...

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Post by kingraf Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:52 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I wish I could work from home. I'd wear camouflage gear and a head band like Rambo. Scare the postman and any Jehovah's on the prowl.

Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God.

Carp thing about living in a socially unequal country, we got all sorts of people selling hope.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:54 am

raf wrote:we got all sorts of people selling hope

We have the National Lottery, which is basically a tax on hope...

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:56 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I wish I could work from home. I'd wear camouflage gear and a head band like Rambo. Scare the postman and any Jehovah's on the prowl.

Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here.  They won't walk that far for God.

They will, but they've worked out that you're not worth saving.

When I work in London, I drive in to a town called Royston (not Vasey) and get the train from there. The God squad are quite often at both entrances to the station but they always ignore me.

They can be quite cruel for people of faith.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:57 am

rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God..

But you get lots of pagan cults and Edward Woodwood...

What do you call a man with 3 planks of wood on his head?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:58 am

rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God..

But you get lots of pagan cults and Edward Woodwood...

Ah, The Wicker Man. That scene with Britt Eklund dancing gave me many happy memories as a kid. It's still in my w*nk bank to this day.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Rowley Thu 05 Jun 2014, 8:58 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Good thing about living in the country, we don't ever get Johovah's round here. They won't walk that far for God..

But you get lots of pagan cults and Edward Woodwood...

What do you call a man with 3 planks of wood on his head?

Terry?

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 05 Jun 2014, 9:08 am

Mr Woodhead?

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 05 Jun 2014, 9:38 am

No, it's Beatrix Potter.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 05 Jun 2014, 9:51 am

I don't get it?

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 05 Jun 2014, 9:52 am

The re-make of The Wicker Man was godawful...

Jules wrote:No, it's Beatrix Potter..

That is a man who can juggle 3 pints whilst making a vase...

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 05 Jun 2014, 9:53 am

sean wrote:I don't get it?.

Edward Woodward

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