The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

by Rowley Tue 01 Jul 2014, 10:26 am

First topic message reminder :

May be an age thing, but is Sean seriously saying he talks to people with his testicles out to see how long they take to notice? And that doing so is a laugh?

Never thought I would say this, but bring back National Service if so.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:01 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Is your missus colour blind?

She doesn't buy my clothes.

Who does, Stevie Wonder?

I rather he did than your missus.

by **Union Cane** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:04 pm

I know a good joke about Stevie Wonder, but I've forgotten it.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:06 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Is your missus colour blind?

She doesn't buy my clothes.

Who does, Stevie Wonder?

I rather he did than your missus.

I'm not being personal. Just can't understand why you would go to work looking like Geoffrey off of Rainbow?

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:06 pm

Union Cane wrote:I know a good joke about Stevie Wonder, but I've forgotten it.

Have you seen his son?

by **Union Cane** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:07 pm

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:08 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Is your missus colour blind?

She doesn't buy my clothes.

Who does, Stevie Wonder?

I rather he did than your missus.

I'm not being personal. Just can't understand why you would go to work looking like Geoffrey off of Rainbow?

I'm not being personal. Just can't understand why you would go to work looking like Danny Dyer in Legolas's shoes?

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:09 pm

Union Cane wrote:No?

No? Neither has he!!!!!!

drumroll

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:10 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Is your missus colour blind?

She doesn't buy my clothes.

Who does, Stevie Wonder?

I rather he did than your missus.

I'm not being personal. Just can't understand why you would go to work looking like Geoffrey off of Rainbow?

I'm not being personal. Just can't understand why you would go to work looking like Danny Dyer in Legolas's shoes?

My shoes are f'd. Had to pretend i'd thrown them away so they live in the car overnight.

by Guest Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:11 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Is Andy Murray Scottish again now?

Hasn't he always been Scottish?

Still if he loses at least his mum won't be riding his coat-tails on "Strictly..." and how the F*CK is she a celebrity exactly??????????????

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:14 pm

DAVE wrote:Hasn't he always been Scottish?

Still if he loses at least his mum won't be riding his coat-tails on "Strictly..." and how the F*CK is she a celebrity exactly??????????????

He becomes British for the duration of Wimbledon.

As for the second bit, I have no idea, but it would be quality if she followed tradition and had an affair with one of the metrosexual male dancers...

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:18 pm

Or motted the female dancers.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:18 pm

Union Cane wrote:I know a good joke about Stevie Wonder, but I've forgotten it.

Stevie Wonder was bring interviewed and was asked "Can you think of anything worse than being blind?"
He said "Well, I'd sure hate to be black."

by **Union Cane** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:21 pm

Could someone keep me updated on Murray?

I have been trying to follow the text updates on the BBC but they keep putting pictures up, which isn't good in th'office, and the incessant banality of the twitter people's comments is driving me to distraction.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:23 pm

Union Cane wrote:Could someone keep me updated on Murray?

I have been trying to follow the text updates on the BBC but they keep putting pictures up, which isn't good in th'office, and the incessant banality of the twitter people's comments is driving me to distraction.

He is 4-2 down in 3rd set. T'other chap is serving. We have it on the TV.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:24 pm

5-2 down now.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:26 pm

Playing very poorly.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:26 pm

love - 15

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:26 pm

love - 30

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:27 pm

15 - 30

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:27 pm

he's fecked

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:27 pm

15 - 40 match point

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:28 pm

30 - 40

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:28 pm

Game over.

Scottish tw*t.

by **Union Cane** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:31 pm

Thanks Tino, not exactly Dan Maskell but you'll do.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:32 pm

Union Cane wrote:Thanks Tino, not exactly Dan Maskell but you'll do.

You're welcome.

No idea who Dan Maskell is but you're still welcome.

by **Union Cane** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:34 pm

He was a tennis commentator, used to whistle his s's a lot. I do quite a good impression of him. He's dead now. Perhaps you are too young to remember him.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:35 pm

Lot of drugs in tennis.

by Guest Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:37 pm

Murray was so bad that I believe Maskell has returned from the dead to refer to him as a "useless Scottish c**t who couldn't even be arsed phoning his performance in"

by **Union Cane** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:37 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Lot of drugs in tennis.

Tranquilisers, by the sound of it.

by Rowley Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:39 pm

Julius said before it all started Djokovic would win. He may be able to look wise in a few days.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:40 pm

On the brightside the milf at training on Friday will be up to its usual numbers.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:43 pm

Union Cane wrote:He was a tennis commentator, used to whistle his s's a lot. I do quite a good impression of him. He's dead now. Perhaps you are too young to remember him.

Probably more to do with the fact I wouldn't voluntarily watch tennis whilst I have a hole in my a*se.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:44 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Union Cane wrote:He was a tennis commentator, used to whistle his s's a lot. I do quite a good impression of him. He's dead now. Perhaps you are too young to remember him.

Probably more to do with the fact I wouldn't voluntarily watch tennis whilst I have a hole in my a*se.

So you'd watch it if Jules was hanging out the back of you?

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:46 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Union Cane wrote:He was a tennis commentator, used to whistle his s's a lot. I do quite a good impression of him. He's dead now. Perhaps you are too young to remember him.

Probably more to do with the fact I wouldn't voluntarily watch tennis whilst I have a hole in my a*se.

So you'd watch it if Jules was hanging out the back of you?

One can dream.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:47 pm

Ridiculous run of sporting failure. I blame Labour and the emancipists.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:48 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Ridiculous run of sporting failure. I blame Labour and the emancipists.

Stokes is back in the England squad. That's some good news.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:53 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Ridiculous run of sporting failure. I blame Labour and the emancipists.

Stokes is back in the England squad. That's some good news.

Reasonable player. Apparently Lyth and Finch have pulled off another stunning catch

by Guest Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:54 pm

seanmichaels wrote:On the brightside the milf at training on Friday will be up to its usual numbers.

So the collective term for a lot of MILFs is actually MILF? Is that right Sean?

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:55 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Ridiculous run of sporting failure. I blame Labour and the emancipists.

Stokes is back in the England squad. That's some good news.

Reasonable player. Apparently Lyth and Finch have pulled off another stunning catch

He has the potential to be excellent. About the only player to come out of the winter with any credit.

It was an amazing catch. Best I have ever see. Genuinely mean that.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:55 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:On the brightside the milf at training on Friday will be up to its usual numbers.
So the collective term for a lot of MILFs is actually MILF? Is that right Sean?

MILF or 'seasoned' Growler. Take your pick.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 3:57 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Ridiculous run of sporting failure. I blame Labour and the emancipists.

Stokes is back in the England squad. That's some good news.

Reasonable player. Apparently Lyth and Finch have pulled off another stunning catch

He has the potential to be excellent. About the only player to come out of the winter with any credit.

It was an amazing catch. Best I have ever see. Genuinely mean that.

I no see yet.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 4:04 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Ridiculous run of sporting failure. I blame Labour and the emancipists.

Stokes is back in the England squad. That's some good news.

Reasonable player. Apparently Lyth and Finch have pulled off another stunning catch

He has the potential to be excellent. About the only player to come out of the winter with any credit.

It was an amazing catch. Best I have ever see. Genuinely mean that.

I no see yet.

For your viewing pleasure.

Spoiler:

by **Union Cane** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 4:10 pm

Surely the ball had crossed the boundary?

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 02 Jul 2014, 4:11 pm

Union Cane wrote:Surely the ball had crossed the boundary?

He caught it and lobbed it back before his foot hit the floor.

by **Union Cane** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 4:14 pm

Undoubtedly, but he threw it back onto the pitch and it was only just inside the 'rope' when the second guy caught it, so surely it must have been over the boundary when he deflected it back.

Stunning catch, but should have been 6 runs.

by **superflyweight** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 4:32 pm

I'm with Union on this one. That's just not cricket.

by **Union Cane** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 4:37 pm

The Laws of Cricket wrote:Law 19 - 4. Ball beyond the boundary

After it has crossed the boundary in the air, a ball may be caught, subject to the provisions of Law 32, or fielded provided that

(i) the first contact with the ball is by a fielder, not touching or grounded beyond the boundary, who has some part of his person grounded within the boundary or whose final contact with the ground before touching the ball was entirely within the boundary.

Any fielder subsequently touching the ball is not subject to this restriction.

(ii) neither the ball, nor any fielder in contact with the ball touches, or is grounded beyond, the boundary at any time during the act of making the catch or of fielding the ball.

The act of making the catch, or of fielding the ball, shall start from the time when the ball first comes into contact with some part of a fielder’s person and shall end when a fielder obtains complete control both over the ball and over his own movement.

by **Union Cane** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 4:42 pm

For me it is all to do with the first chap and his "act of making the catch".

As defined above the act continues until he is in control of his own movement. As he fell over after flicking the ball back he was not in control, so he was clearly in contact with the ground before completing the act of making the catch.

6 runs.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 02 Jul 2014, 5:15 pm

This is what the culture cup has been reduced to? Posting the laws of cricket? It is a sad, sad day indeed.

by Rowley Wed 02 Jul 2014, 5:21 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:This is what the culture cup has been reduced to? Posting the laws of cricket? It is a sad, sad day indeed.

Even in the darkest days of Tina's seemingly endless insect updates we never stooped to these levels.

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