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The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

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Post by Rowley Tue 01 Jul 2014, 10:26 am

First topic message reminder :

May be an age thing, but is Sean seriously saying he talks to people with his testicles out to see how long they take to notice? And that doing so is a laugh?

Never thought I would say this, but bring back National Service if so.

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Post by Rowley Tue 08 Jul 2014, 9:16 am

rick_dagless wrote:
Wonder if Tino was the guy who got hit by the bikes?

Did they plough into the corporate hospitality boxes? Hope they did not knock his cocaine and Cristal over.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 08 Jul 2014, 9:21 am

Not sure, though I believe the guy who got hit was wearing a horrific jumper/shirt combo of an off puce hue.

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Post by Pal Joey Tue 08 Jul 2014, 10:27 am

I thought it was his gut which got in the way. It seemed to be overhanging 1/4 of the way across the street. His camera was well within his gut zone. Still, not very nice to have navel abrasions. My fat friends tell me it's very painful indeed especially if there is navel hair melt.
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Post by Rowley Tue 08 Jul 2014, 10:29 am

Linebreaker wrote:I thought it was his gut which got in the way. .

Top Hat it is then.

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Post by Pal Joey Tue 08 Jul 2014, 10:33 am

I'm very surprised The City of London didn't have "Dove Men Care" stations in those last few kms to the finish... given the size of the crowds.
The least they could have done was have some "top models" on tandem bikes behind the barricades offering Sorbolene Cream at regular intervals.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 08 Jul 2014, 10:47 am

Jeff wrote:Top Hat it is then.

Yep, sorts that one out...

Chaffe stations could be the future LB.

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Post by kingraf Tue 08 Jul 2014, 10:48 am

It's true, LB, navel abrasions hurt when you're fat. I've been there
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Post by Pal Joey Tue 08 Jul 2014, 10:59 am

kingraf wrote:It's true, LB, navel abrasions hurt when you're fat. I've been there

I used to get these painful abrasions on my navel when surfing. The wax must have attracted sea lice? or some microscopic organisms. After a few hours it would turn into a painful rash about the size of 20 postage stamps. (remember those?)

Either that or I was near some sewage outfall. Never used to happen when I was younger so I also blame global warming and passing ships (oil tankers and cruisers) for that temporary problem.
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Post by kingraf Tue 08 Jul 2014, 11:09 am

Never did take to surfing, being from the highveld and all - but I'm planning on a crash course this December when I holiday in Jeffreys Bay... stories of rash-causing lice does not inspire confidence
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Post by Pal Joey Tue 08 Jul 2014, 11:42 am

kingraf wrote:Never did take to surfing, being from the highveld and all - but I'm planning on a crash course this December when I holiday in Jeffreys Bay... stories of rash-causing lice does not inspire confidence

I'd be more worried about the white pointers in Jeffreys Bay. Just hope your course isn't near where they are chucking in the shark bait.
We get one (or so) victims off the warmer waters of the east coast per year but more in the cooler waters off SA and WA.
Just checked - 892 attacks in all of Oz since 1791; 217 have been fatal.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Tue 08 Jul 2014, 11:49 am

How many in 1790?

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Post by Pal Joey Tue 08 Jul 2014, 11:55 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:How many in 1790?

I don't think the records stretch back that far.

Must have been hundreds, if not thousands, of locals taken over the previous 48,000 years though.
I bet the sharks were even bigger (than they are now) way back then.
Possibly those part dinosaur things would have had a keenness for human flesh?
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Post by kingraf Tue 08 Jul 2014, 11:56 am

There's only been one fatal shark attack in Jay Bay, plus the water's fantastic. Got me a little worried now, LB.
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Post by Pal Joey Tue 08 Jul 2014, 11:58 am

kingraf wrote:There's only been one fatal shark attack in Jay Bay, plus the water's fantastic. Got me a little worried now, LB.

That's great news. So you'll be in no great rush to learn how to spring up on the board in a fluent, snappy motion then.  Smile
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Post by kingraf Tue 08 Jul 2014, 12:01 pm

Depends solely on whether or not my instructor is a hot blond/ woman, or a guy.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Tue 08 Jul 2014, 12:14 pm

kingraf wrote:There's only been one fatal shark attack in Jay Bay, plus the water's fantastic. Got me a little worried now, LB.

Due another one fairly soon, I'd say.

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Post by kingraf Tue 08 Jul 2014, 12:22 pm

The accident was last year, Julius. I think it's safe to assume there won't be one for another 400 years.
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Post by alfie Tue 08 Jul 2014, 12:47 pm

kingraf wrote:The accident was last year, Julius. I think it's safe to assume there won't be one for another 400 years.

Or it could be the sharks are developing a taste for human flesh...I'd be a bit nervous too kingraf. But I'm sure you're a much faster swimmer than I am  Smile 

I know Australian crocodiles seem to have quite a thing for tourists...not sure about sharks' preferences...

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Post by kingraf Tue 08 Jul 2014, 1:15 pm

alfie wrote:
kingraf wrote:The accident was last year, Julius. I think it's safe to assume there won't be one for another 400 years.

Or it could be the sharks are developing a taste for human flesh...I'd be a bit nervous too kingraf. But I'm sure you're a much faster swimmer than I am  Smile 

I know Australian crocodiles seem to have quite a thing for tourists...not sure about sharks' preferences...

Cheers - not sure being a faster swimmer matters much 500m from the coast. There's only one winner.

Spent the last two weeks cruising through the islands of Mauritius, Reunion, and Seychelles. Must admit, the beach bum life is not without its charms.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 08 Jul 2014, 1:50 pm

Fish finger Sandwich, with lemon tartre sauce, and leaf salad, and chips...

Nice.

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Post by Rowley Tue 08 Jul 2014, 3:30 pm

I had KFC, I know none of you care and I had little compunction to share the information with you, but could not see Rick michaels two threads in two days.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Tue 08 Jul 2014, 3:51 pm

Very considerate of you Jeff. Rick deserves better than that despite his ridiculous use of the French word 'tartre' instead of 'tartar'.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 09 Jul 2014, 6:40 am

Cheers guys, means a lot...

Would to say that my ridiculous spelling was an effort to jump start an ailing thread, but alas, it was just plain carelessness and stupidity.

I hope that today goes better, but with michaels basking himself in the sun of France whilst vintners panic. Super in a drunken coma surrounded by worried family, Galted in technological exile, and Tino neglecting all duties it is not likely.

(fist)

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Post by JuliusHMarx Wed 09 Jul 2014, 8:20 am

True rick. For example, I doubt anyone want to hear about Percy and myself beating Ernest and Wilfred in the Over-70s Gentlemen's Invitational Doubles.

Morning.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 09 Jul 2014, 8:28 am

Morning Jules, sounds like a classic tale of overcoming the odds and prevailing over tricky opponents in a difficult situation!

I am just glad that the cyclist have buggered off and I can get to work with relative ease, it is the little things in life sometimes...

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 09 Jul 2014, 8:30 am

Morning all.

My Tour de France experience was much the same as my lovemaking. Lots of waiting around followed by excitement and anticipation. Then all over in a few seconds.


Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Wed 09 Jul 2014, 8:46 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Morning all.

My Tour de France experience was much the same as my lovemaking.  Lots of waiting around followed by excitement and anticipation.  Then all over in a few seconds.


Morning Tino. Hadn't realised you watched the TdF by yourself.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 09 Jul 2014, 8:49 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Morning all.

My Tour de France experience was much the same as my lovemaking.  Lots of waiting around followed by excitement and anticipation.  Then all over in a few seconds.


Morning Tino. Hadn't realised you watched the TdF by yourself.

 Laugh  Laugh 

I don't actually have any comeback.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:07 am

Excellent form Jules...

Morning Tino...

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:09 am

rick_dagless wrote:Excellent form Jules...

Morning Tino...

Yes, yes it f*cking well was.

Morning Dagster. Do you remember when this used to be a thriving place? I certainly do.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:20 am

Tino wrote:Morning Dagster. Do you remember when this used to be a thriving place? I certainly do.

Jules remembers when the internet was all fields.

Everyone is away, and irritatingly excused themselves before going so that we can not have a lively debate on which z-list deceased celebutard they may or may not be, selfish I say!

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Post by Rowley Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:20 am

Morning all. I refuse to let the culture cup die. Like my infrequently written boxing threads I refuse to let a complete lack of responses or interest discourage me.

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Post by Union Cane Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:23 am

Good morning everyone.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:24 am

Rowley wrote:Morning all. I refuse to let the culture cup die. Like my infrequently written boxing threads I refuse to let a complete lack of responses or interest discourage me.

That's the spirit, Jeffrey. What an inspirational man you can be.

I used to reply to your boxing threads. I didn't like them much but replied out of courtesy.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:25 am

Morning Union/Jeff

Things are looking up already, there is life in the old thread yet...

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Post by Rowley Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:28 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

I used to reply to your boxing threads.  I didn't like them much but replied out of courtesy.

Thanks Tina, it means a lot, when you are only receiving seven responses and three of them are by yourself you cannot afford to be precious about being patronised.

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Post by Union Cane Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:30 am

If it is responses you want Jeff you should run a prediction league.

10,000 views!
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:31 am

Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

I used to reply to your boxing threads.  I didn't like them much but replied out of courtesy.

Thanks Tina, it means a lot, when you are only receiving seven responses and three of them are by yourself you cannot afford to be precious about being patronised.

You were the only person who used to reply to mine so it was only fair I returned the favour.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:32 am

Union Cane wrote:If it is responses you want Jeff you should run a prediction league.

10,000 views!

The various incarnations of the Culture Cup have had way more than 10,000 views. Must be over 50k by now.

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Post by Union Cane Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:35 am

I wonder if it covered by my insurance.
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Post by Rowley Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:36 am

Union Cane wrote:If it is responses you want Jeff you should run a prediction league.

10,000 views!

I don't do populism. I am the Daniel Kitson of the online boxing forum community.

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Post by Union Cane Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:38 am

Rowley wrote:I am the Daniel Kitson of the online boxing forum community.

Don't know who that is.
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Post by Rowley Wed 09 Jul 2014, 9:47 am

Union Cane wrote:
Rowley wrote:I am the Daniel Kitson of the online boxing forum community.

Don't know who that is.

Exactly.

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Post by Rowley Wed 09 Jul 2014, 10:06 am

Despite the fact he clearly stated he was going on holiday, I believe Superfly is/was jazz saxophonist Kathy Stobart.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 09 Jul 2014, 10:08 am

Rowley wrote:Despite the fact he clearly stated he was going on holiday, I believe Superfly is/was jazz saxophonist Kathy Stobart.

Is she related to Eddie?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Rowley Wed 09 Jul 2014, 10:10 am

The obituary on the Guardian did not mention it, but probably.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 09 Jul 2014, 10:11 am

Jeff wrote:Exactly.

I thought that was Accrington Stanley Jeff?

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The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved - Page 11 Empty Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 09 Jul 2014, 10:12 am

Despite claiming he is in France, I believe Sean is the Brazilian national football team.

Mind the windows Tino.
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The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved - Page 11 Empty Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

Post by Union Cane Wed 09 Jul 2014, 10:22 am

Unfair comparison, as he is ubable to defend himself.

Much like the Brazilian national football team.


Last edited by Union Cane on Wed 09 Jul 2014, 10:23 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Ubable? Hopefully nobody will notice, and if they do I am sure I won't be picked up on it.)
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The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved - Page 11 Empty Re: The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 09 Jul 2014, 10:27 am

Union Cane wrote:

Much like the Brazilian national football team.

I read that David Luiz is going to PSG for £50 million. £50 f*cking million! Jose must be l*l'ing out loud at that.

What a comedian he was last night. If that is worth £50 million, then there is hope for my professional wendyball career after all.

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Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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