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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri Apr 10, 2015 10:48 am

First topic message reminder :

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Post by Pal Joey Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:46 pm

I don't have a massive crush on that annoying Aussie presenter on BBC World News - Aaron Heslehurst. Nobody speaks like that.
He's definitely tripping on something the way he gesticulates and carries on like a crazy galoot.

Somebody please give him a hefty slap if you accidentally bump into him.
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Post by superflyweight Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:52 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I have a massive man crush on Jules.

Sounds like a cracking double date is in the offing.

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Post by Union Cane Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:55 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:I don't have a massive crush on that annoying Aussie presenter on BBC World News - Aaron Heslehurst. Nobody speaks like that.
He's definitely tripping on something the way he gesticulates and carries on like a crazy galoot.

Somebody please give him a hefty slap if you accidentally bump into him.

He's great, he's like a camp Dale Winton.
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Post by Rowley Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:58 pm

Has everyone else received their invites for Jules' birthday party. I have not received mine yet, am sure this is just an oversight rather than a snub, but is a bit worrying all the same.

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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:58 pm

Rowley wrote:Just booked to go to an Evening With Nigel Benn, not that bothered personally, prefered Eubank, but TSMR was a fan and the tickets were on Living Social
Frank Bruno supposedly coming to Keighley at some point for one of these "An audience with..." things. Might be worth going for the fireworks as, given he's agreed to come to Keighley, Frank has clearly lost his mind again!

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Post by Rowley Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:01 pm

Avoid it Dave, went to one with Bruno a few months ago, he was terrible. The only thing that saved the evening was Johnny Nelson was on with him. He was genuinely very funny, comfortable on the mic and extremely self depricating.

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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:01 pm

Rowley wrote:Has everyone else received their invites for Jules' birthday party. I have not received mine yet, am sure this is just an oversight rather than a snub, but is a bit worrying all the same.

I have but my spidersense is tingling, it's the same address as Dipper Brown who has agreed to let me come to his house and watch the Floyd Manny fight (Address is Dipper, 1 Cardiff Street, Cardiff in case you fancy gatecrashing). Either Jules and Dipper are the same person or Jules is playing a cruel trick on me as I believe Dipper's invite to be genuine.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:01 pm

Rowley wrote:Has everyone else received their invites for Jules' birthday party. I have not received mine yet, am sure this is just an oversight rather than a snub, but is a bit worrying all the same.

I got mine ages ago.

A little bit of Brut splashed on the envelope. Lovely little personal touch.

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Post by Pal Joey Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:02 pm

Union Cane wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:I don't have a massive crush on that annoying Aussie presenter on BBC World News - Aaron Heslehurst. Nobody speaks like that.
He's definitely tripping on something the way he gesticulates and carries on like a crazy galoot.

Somebody please give him a hefty slap if you accidentally bump into him.

He's great, he's like a camp Dale Winton.

He's a complete nut. Sort of reminds me of that Richard Quest guy. Has he OD'd yet? They both drive me spare.
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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:02 pm

Rowley wrote:Avoid it Dave, went to one with Bruno a few months ago, he was terrible. The only thing that saved the evening was Johnny Nelson was on with him. He was genuinely very funny, comfortable on the mic and extremely self depricating.
Wasn't seriously considering it, but just thought it would be fun to bait Frank and see if he smashed the place up before calling out Wlad

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:03 pm

Rowley wrote:Avoid it Dave, went to one with Bruno a few months ago, he was terrible. The only thing that saved the evening was Johnny Nelson was on with him. He was genuinely very funny, comfortable on the mic and extremely self depricating.

For heavens sake, Jeff. What is the matter with you these days.

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Post by Rowley Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:07 pm

I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

Also one of my friends went for his over 40 health check the other day to be told he has type 2 diabetes. As his lifestyle has been generally healthier than mine over the preceding 20 years I am somewhat troubled as to what I will hear when I finally get the balls up to book mine. (you did ask)

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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:08 pm

Chips battered sausage and curry sauce. Feel bloody awful now.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:09 pm

Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

Also one of my friends went for his over 40 health check the other day to be told he has type 2 diabetes. As his lifestyle has been generally healthier than mine over the preceding 20 years I am somewhat troubled as to what I will hear when I finally get the balls up to book mine.  (you did ask)

I reckon I'm gonna be written off if I make my over 40 check.

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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:10 pm

Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

Also one of my friends went for his over 40 health check the other day to be told he has type 2 diabetes. As his lifestyle has been generally healthier than mine over the preceding 20 years I am somewhat troubled as to what I will hear when I finally get the balls up to book mine.  (you did ask)
Finally got my 40 year service and MOT albeit three years too late. Was told that I had high(ish) blood pressure. I then introduced my wife and kids, the doctor said "Well, that explains it" and told me if I couldn't get shut of them then the alternative was to eat a few more tomatoes. Asked if it would help my hair grow back...the response was very un-physician-like

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:11 pm

Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

My years of heavy drug abuse just made me start co-ordinating my shirts with my jumpers. Funny how these things affect people differently.

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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:14 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

My years of heavy drug abuse just made me start co-ordinating my shirts with my jumpers.  Funny how these things affect people differently.

All this talk of drug abuse has made me want to start taking drugs....again

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:15 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

My years of heavy drug abuse just made me start co-ordinating my shirts with my jumpers.  Funny how these things affect people differently.

All this talk of drug abuse has made me want to start taking drugs....again

I bet you were smacked off your t*ts at all the BON JOVI concerts you attended?

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Post by Pal Joey Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:16 pm

Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me.

Norway! Raleigh?

You don't strike me as the self-abusing type at all Jeff... the way you appreciate library property and all.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:20 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:23 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

deposit boxes...

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:25 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

deposit boxes...

I'm not sure if she would have been classified as library 'property'. Just an employee.

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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:26 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

My years of heavy drug abuse just made me start co-ordinating my shirts with my jumpers.  Funny how these things affect people differently.

All this talk of drug abuse has made me want to start taking drugs....again

I bet you were smacked off your t*ts at all the BON JOVI concerts you attended?
Hey man, you don't NEED drugs when Jon, Richie, Tico and...er....the other bloke are doing their thing. (I'd love to be their bass player, multi millionaire and no fecker knows who he is. Even his wife and kids don't know he's in a band, in fact they don't even notice when he fecks off for six months at a time)

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Post by superflyweight Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:26 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Chips battered my sausage and covered me in curry sauce. Feel bloody awful now.

You cricketers and your silly ways.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:26 pm

FFS. Someone own up

Date Sexy Thai Women
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Post by Rowley Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:26 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

Don't Tina, I have genuinely tried to move on from your flagrant disregard for the sanctity of the library, but the fact you actually seem proud of it is not helping.

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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:28 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

deposit boxes...
Isn't that how you refer to vaginas, sean?

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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:28 pm

I think I read somewhere recently that libraries are the new public toilets for homosexuals.

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Post by Pal Joey Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:28 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

Who doesn't? My fingers love turning the pages of 2-page soft covers.

That was a shocking Yorkshire accent wasn't it?
I'll apologise at Jules' party.
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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:29 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Having been violently fingered, bummed and paid handsomely for sucking off strangers, I can confirm that libraries are the new public toilets for homosexuals.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:31 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

deposit boxes...
Isn't that how you refer to vaginas, sean?

Muff, m1nge, carpet, squirrel, ferret, axe wound, smashed crab, badger, beaver, shane magowan's smile, great dane's jowels, fanny, rug, mouse's ear etc etc.

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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:37 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

deposit boxes...
Isn't that how you refer to vaginas, sean?

Muff, m1nge, carpet, squirrel, ferret, axe wound, smashed crab, badger, beaver, shane magowan's smile, great dane's jowels, fanny, rug, mouse's ear etc etc.
Well now you have another to add to your collection...along with skin mitten

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Post by Union Cane Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:49 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Chips battered sausage and curry sauce. Feel bloody awful now.

Is Chip one of the prefects?
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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:52 pm

Union Cane wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Chips battered sausage and curry sauce. Feel bloody awful now.

Is Chip one of the prefects?
Who's "bloody awful" and why are you feeling him?

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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:53 pm

no, one was called oggy. used to smoke all the time. we named a wood after him

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Post by Union Cane Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:55 pm

seanmichaels wrote:no, one was called oggy. used to smoke all the time. we named a wood after him

Oggy smoked your wood?
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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:56 pm

a young michaels:

Spoiler:

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Post by Union Cane Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:25 pm

quote="seanmichaels"]a young michaels:

[spoiler[/spoiler][/quote]
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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:28 pm

Union Cane wrote:quote="seanmichaels"]a young michaels:

[spoiler[/spoiler]
[/quote]

It was there briefly.

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Post by Union Cane Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:02 pm

Enigmatic as ever.
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Post by kingraf Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:23 pm

Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.

You should have all listened when I said to put a bet on "Giroud to score Arsenal to win" for like five weeks. Tiña could have paid for half his kids university fund. Dave could have started killing high end prostitutes, or call girls as they like to be known. Sean could have done whatever it is sexually repressed people do with money. And Rowley could have... well Geoff could have had his Sciatica and gout which isn't gout sorted.
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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:41 pm

kingraf wrote:Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.


Try 15 days.

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Post by Guest Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:47 pm

kingraf wrote:Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.

You should have all listened when I said to put a bet on "Giroud to score Arsenal to win" for like five weeks. Tiña could have paid for half his kids university fund. Dave could have started killing high end prostitutes, or call girls as they like to be known. Sean could have done whatever it is sexually repressed people do with money. And Rowley could have... well Geoff could have had his Sciatica and gout which isn't gout sorted.
Read something about a bloke who was pictured with a woman who turned out to be an escort. They said an "escort" was basically a prostitute who sleeps with Arabs

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Post by Union Cane Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:55 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
kingraf wrote:Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.


Try 15 days.

Perhaps in a Kia...
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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:56 pm

Dave would love the Australian outback. A good yute, a shovel and he'd be well in business with the backpackers

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Post by seanmichaels Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:59 pm

Union Cane wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
kingraf wrote:Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.


Try 15 days.

Perhaps in a Kia...

3,461km, 35 hours driving at 60mph

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Post by superflyweight Thu Apr 16, 2015 4:08 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Union Cane wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
kingraf wrote:Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.


Try 15 days.

Perhaps in a Kia...

3,461km, 35 hours driving at 60mph

Have travelled the Indian Pacific (Sydney to Perth) - took 72 hours (albeit with a couple of decent stops at Adelaide and Kalgoorlie). Adelaide to Perth took around 30-40 of those hours. Wouldn't fancy driving across the Nullarbor Plain. It looks like the face of the moon and hot as all hell. Would probably take the best part of 10 or 12 hours to drive through it.

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Post by Pal Joey Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:09 pm

He's going the wrong way for starters.
3400km into a constant headwind. Much better the other way round. Saves a lot on fuel too.  It only takes around 57 hours going the other way.

Not so hot in late autumn winter, supes. In fact, you can almost see the temperatures dropping at the moment. Takes about 13-14 hours but with raf at the wheel... yeah probably only about 9 or 10.

More moon-like up around the Simpson desert, north-western NSW, northern SA. Picked up a rock from there a few years back.
It's probably a meteorite... 5 times the size of a football, weighs "a tonne" and is purple, red and green. Mum uses it as a doorstop at home.
The Nullarbor has has plenty of that low saltbush and blue bush scrub. Sean would love it there.

Still, I'm sure raf will love our wide open spaces. Don't forget to pack your sandwiches and water mate.
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Post by Rowley Fri Apr 17, 2015 8:48 am

First. Get in. Yes, boo yaa

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri Apr 17, 2015 8:51 am

Second. Get out. No, boo hoo

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