What winds you up on the course?

First topic message reminder :

I am sure we have had many of these threads over the years but having a moan is always good and we are far enough into the season to have been reminded of all the things that really wind us up while playing golf.

So lets here what really winds you up when playing golf?


For me it is the atmosphere in the clubhouse, the clubhouse is an uncomfortable place to be as the attitudes and services are very outdated.

For starters the coffee in clubhouses is probably some of the worst you will find. I admit to being into 3rd wave/specialist coffee, but really the formula for a decent coffee is pretty simple. Decent beans and the correct grind. Oh, and a latte or flat white don't come in a bucket sized cup.

The food in clubhouses is dire. Why not just offer a decent bacon roll instead of trying to offer a restaurant style menu. If they really feel the need for more then opt for sandwiches with some organic meat and other top notch fillings and maybe a simple terrine and soup. Why the obsessions with frozen deep fried food and manky burgers?

And finally the beer. Lets just say it isn't exactly craft beer.

The thing is even in the so called better clubs the food and drink offered is some of the worst you will find in any walk of life.

As for the people, I think you all know how I feel about the average golfer. So lets just leave that alone for now.

I'm not sensitive about my handicap at all - the act of trolling is trying to get a rise out of someone - not necessarily succeeding

Davie

In the situation you describe, under the Rules of Golf it is clear. If you do not declare the second ball as provisional, the second ball becomes the ball in play and the first should be picked up. Assuming that the second ball is provisional unless declared otherwise is contrary to the rules of golf.

Yes exactly martin - I think that's what I described .. I was trying to illustrate that point that it should be made clear if it is provisional or not. In fact Mac states above that if he was playing and I said nothing he'd ASSUME it was a provisional - which is just wrong

Davie, why are you so obsessed with making the trolling accusation after almost all my posts that you don't agree with, or slightly mock you?

So Mac, you're a single figure handicap now? Last we heard you were off 15. Yet you don't play competitions. Except if you do, you agree to waive the rules apparently, which of course means you should be disqualified. Make your mind up!

I love playing golf, very little winds me up on the course, because its just a game. It is never a matter of life or death. I am also glad I have never played in a competitive competition, the what you say and dont say to your playing partners just seems confusing. I like the friendlier lax rules of golf we play!

smithers

I don't have a handicap, but would imagine it would be mid single figures. Not sure where the 15 number came from?


Ben

"very little winds me up on the course".

I reckon davie would debunk that if you had to play with him.

Obviously Mac has wound a few people up on course, otherwise they would have gone for a drink with him.

McLaren wrote:
I don't have a handicap, but would imagine it would be mid single figures.  

Based on that statement, 15 sounds about right.

super_realist wrote:Obviously Mac has wound a few people up on course, otherwise they would have gone for a drink with him.

Cheers for the advice all

TBH think I will just put it in the middle of the fairway,

Seems to take less thinking

In my experience of playing the occasional mixed golf competition, it never ceases to amaze me how little most men know of the Rules of Golf (or are just plain ignorant), especially when it comes to how to take a drop, if it is with or without penalty, how many club lengths and so on - and most of the time it is men who profess to play off low handicaps.

When it comes to Mac or Davie - I know who I'd prefer to be on the course with. At least Davie has an official club handicap - however high or low - and not one he has awarded to himself!

McLaren wrote:

I reckon davie would debunk that if you had to play with him.

Maybe you should ask 1GG or Bluecoverman - both people I've had the pleasure of their company on the golf course.

At least I've met people from here instead of being a secret squirrel like you

Interesting! I've just looked up Mac's profile on here and it says Davie is his only "friend"!

Davie

I think you would find me to be a great golfing companion should you ever be in the area. I can't promise not to make hacker comments, but it will all be in good nature and for the purpose of humour.

"I'm your only friend; I'm not your only friend, but I'm a little glowing friend, but really I'm not actually your friend; but I am"

Not to put too fine a point on it, SJ?

Yes, Lady Putt's comment just reminded me of it. If only this were the only bee in Mac's bonnet!

smithers

What are you talking about?

Ha! No chance of that.  Thanks for putting that song in my head....

Mac, you just need a little birdhouse

Where did you join Nb?

I tell you what grinds my gears - I was coming down the 18th (adjacent to the car park) in a medal on Sunday and saw a woman standing in a gorse bush. She drops her kecks and has a dump right there (don't think it was tarka but you never know)! Looking in the car park revealed a series of beaten up caravans and dozens of mucky little kids - hooray the pikeys have arrived! Looks like they are there for the duration...

monty

You are lucky it wasn't a playing partner. I have twice been playing with people who have soiled their kecks. One guy just stood dead still for a while after a tee shot before bursting into tears, having pooped himself. The other at least made a dash for the clubhouse but came up well short, and had to waddle to the locker room.

What's wrong with these people? You always know when you need, it shouldn't come as a surprise or catch you out unless you are ill.

My old boss was causing much hilarity on the way to work once. He was pumping away quite merrily, happily making us breath in his fumes. He had had a mole at the counter for some time and he was obviously skating on very thin ice when the inevitable happened with a loud thud. His waddle upon exiting the car was something to behold. He did get his mum to drop off some clean pants later in the day as commando wasn't his style.

monty

What was the thud? Did the poop hit the floor?

super_realist wrote:What's wrong with these people? You always know when you need, it shouldn't come as a surprise or catch you out unless you are ill.

Indeed. Or maybe if you're still in nappies...

McLaren wrote:monty

What was the thud?  Did the poop hit the floor?

No his gusset. It came out at the end of a really fine crowd splitter, and at some force. I would think the resulting mess would be akin to throwing dead chickens into Rolls Royce jet engines.

barragan wrote:Where did you join Nb?

carrickvale, means I can still play bounce games with pal.

Nay Bother

Does that mean you have an Edinburgh leisure golf membership?

If so, I hope you play the braids as well as carrick knowe?

Haven't played the Braids in a wee while but have been known to play it.

I suspect i will play it a few times in the summer again.

What winds me up? Low handicappers assuming that it is high handicapper who are responsible for slow play

Think it's a fair generalisation though Davie. Often takes longer to have 95 shots than it does 75. Not in all cases tho, I play with a 2 hcapper sometimes and when he putts I often wonder if he's died...

It can SOMETIMES be true Monty, but certainly not always - thinking of renowned slow players at my club it's about a 50/50 split

Just because I take 20 more shots, doesn't necessarily make me slow - man of those are likely to be on and around the green, and when not, often I can play (not being able to reach the green) while the others are still standing around waiting for the green to clear - so where it may take me three to reach a green on some holes as opposed to their two, it hasn't added to the time taken at all

I would go with MOSTLY true. But as I say, can often be the other way round.

Most of the slow players I see are those who have money riding on the results, take forever to line up every putt, and do not play ready golf. Nothing to do with handicap.

Plunky, certainly from my own observations (does anyone know if a decent study has been carried out on slow play?) excessive lining up and time spent deciding on shots around the green is a major part of slow play. The other major area that appears to cause slow play is looking for balls. It is more likely that a hacker will need to look for their ball during a round but I agree with davie that a hacker solidly plodding along down the middle shouldn't really be a contributor to slow play.

I think we have agreed on here before that hitting a provisional needs to become second nature, and I would also advocate reducing the time allowed to look for a ball and ball finding friendly course conditioning.

Plunky wrote:Most of the slow players I see are those who have money riding on the results, take forever to line up every putt, and do not play ready golf.  Nothing to do with handicap.

Absolutely spot on.

I played a singles KO match on Tuesday (lost on 18...boo!) but we were round in 3 hours flat, we had to look for a couple of almost lost balls and there were very few gimmies/concessions. There's absolutely no need for this glacial modern play.

The biggest thing about slow play to me is excessive pre shot routines, practice shots and walking slowly.

Leaving bags on the wrong side of the green, not being prepared when it's your turn, looking for the ball in all the wrong places, stopping at the side of the green to record scores. Oh, deja vu.

Anything over 3 hours as a 2 ball should be shot

Plunky wrote:Most of the slow players I see are those who have money riding on the results, take forever to line up every putt, and do not play ready golf.  Nothing to do with handicap.

Why is it only women who seem to embrace the term "ready golf"? Avoiding slow play was something ingrained in me the moment I joined a club - don't give the men a reason to criticise was our mantra. It doesn't necessarily mean rushing shots, which can be counter-productive, but it does mean walking quickly between shots while assessing what club to play next (rather than waiting until you get to the ball and then thinking about it), always having your ball and tee ready in your hand when walking to the next tee, marking your card on the tee while others are teeing off and so on.

You're spot on Plunky!

I like to take as long as possible to play golf. I love a leisurely stroll through the green open spaces of the golf course, I would say 5 hours is the ideal duration for a round. I like it when the group in front gets 2 or 3 holes ahead of me, as then it feels like I have the course to myself. It's nice to pause on the green for a few minutes after I've finished a hole to look back down the hole and think about the shots I've just played. I usually see the group behind waving at me on the fairway, so it's nice to wave back, golf is such a friendly game!

raycastleunited wrote:I like to take as long as possible to play golf. I love a leisurely stroll through the green open spaces of the golf course, I would say 5 hours is the ideal duration for a round. I like it when the group in front gets 2 or 3 holes ahead of me, as then it feels like I have the course to myself. It's nice to pause on the green for a few minutes after I've finished a hole to look back down the hole and think about the shots I've just played. I usually see the group behind waving at me on the fairway, so it's nice to wave back, golf is such a friendly game!

LP
It's not just you ladies who play 'ready golf'. Plenty of men do it too, it's just that a lot of them are also absurdly slow and for which I hope they'll face eternal damnation .

I hate getting held up or slowed down as much as anyone else by the sound of it. But to play devil' advocate, is there any particular reason to be annoyed at slow golfers if - and it's a big if - they 1) aren't playing in your group and 2) the group they are in lets you through ASAP.

Playing public courses over here, I'd never experienced a women's locker room until we took our clubs to England.  I found them to be very welcoming and well equipped, but I lost count of the number of times I'd be in the bathroom (doing what you have to do before you go out to play) and see a note on the cubicle door right in front of me reminding me of the need to keep up the pace of play.  Husband saw no such notes in the gents !

NedB-H wrote:I hate getting held up or slowed down as much as anyone else by the sound of it. But to play devil' advocate, is there any particular reason to be annoyed at slow golfers if - and it's a big if - they 1) aren't playing in your group and 2) the group they are in lets you through ASAP.

BIG? particularly wrt point 2, big doesn't even begin to describe the proportions of that particular 'if'.

Plunky wrote:Playing public courses over here, I'd never experienced a women's locker room until we took our clubs to England.  I found them to be very welcoming and well equipped, but I lost count of the number of times I'd be in the bathroom (doing what you have to do before you go out to play) and see a note on the cubicle door right in front of me reminding me of the need to keep up the pace of play.  Husband saw no such notes in the gents !

We have notices about slow play and etiquette above the urinals in the gents at our place. Doesn't seem to improve anyones aim tho...

Slow play seems to be the resounding winner on the list of annoyance on course. I still don't see why it winds people up so much but hey ho.

So, what about off course? At the range, putting green, clubhouse, car park etc? It has to be the elitism / money issue for me. When I was learning the game as a junior 30 years ago, I was looked down on.....beginner/junior/lack of money etc.......it was very intimmidating for a young lad who knew nobody at the club. But I persevered through my love of playing the game. I find it such a shame that 30 years on nothing has changed, my son felt exactly the same, and no longer plays because of it. Sure there are a few that are trying, but the overall feeling of golf clubs is still there. Ian Carters column today is a load of rubbish.

Caveat: I should have said "in my experience". I would be interested to hear what it's like at your clubs, for juniors, new members, beginners etc.