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Culture Cup rd 3 (Books)

+21
Adam D
Rowley
Roller_Coaster
Trebs
Silver
The Womble
dancingweeman
seanmichaels
rIck_dAgless
ChequeredJersey
The Boss
superflyweight
Hammersmith harrier
Galted
jbeadlesbigrighthand
Dolphin Ziggler
JuliusHMarx
kingraf
Azzy
ShahenshahG
Mind the windows Tino.
25 posters

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What is the best piece of fiction written by a European?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 20 May 2015, 4:01 pm

First topic message reminder :

Round 2 of the Culture Cup 2.0 finally comes to an end, and what a controversial round it turned out to be.  There were accusations of vote rigging (by me, about Adam.  I still think he has cheated), arguments, swearing and threats of physical violence.  But, that’s what great art does.  It inspires opinions, it creates extremes of emotion, it forces people to look into their souls.  Round 2 was great art.  Great art happening in front of our eyes, people.  There were one or two questions about the validity of some picks and, as usual, some invective spewed my way.  But I can handle it.  That’s what great leaders do, provide inspiration in the face of adversity.  It’s water of a ducks back to me.  Or jizz off Sean’s chin if you need a better metaphor.

So who were the movers and shakers in round 2?  Well, the biggest winners were Hero and Harrier who both scored 10 points with Madge and Dusty.  I voted for Madge so I can’t say I’m too disappointed with those choices.  Son Of A Preacher Man is a great song as well so no complaints from me.  Hero and Hammer are at the top of the table with Paul, Treb “Tik Tok” Trebs and 'fathead' Adam breathing down their necks.  That f*cking lunatic Ziggler somehow managed to lobby enough people to vote for his choon and finds himself in second place for round 2 with 8 points.  Adam with Hit Me Baby One More Time somehow claims the last podium position in round 2 with a truly awful song. I’d like to hit all the people that voted for it one more time with a massive claw hammer.  Although that would just involve hitting Adam over his stupid, fat head numerous times as he clearly cheated and rigged the votes.  Jeff and superfly continue their titanic “who is the least sh*t out of two sh*t posters” battle with Jeff’s solitary vote this round enabling him to snuggle up to his great rival on 2 points each in the table.

A few posters continue to languish with no points, with Sean “I lie more than Jay from the Inbetweeners” Michaels, Galted “Massively Gay Way” Mears and Julius “I’m old so I moan.  Deal with it” Marx all yet to break their 2.0 virginity.  Stella has become a bit of an enigma.  He joined late, and now won’t answer my PM’s.  This has forced me to choose for him in round 3.  Hopefully my choice will lift him from the foot of the table.

So the updated table looks like this:

1) Hero 16 pts
2) Harrier 14 pts
3) Paul 12 pts
4) Trebs 10 pts
5) Adam 10 pts
6) Ziggler 9 pts
7) SerialDAVE 7 pts
8) C&R 6 pts
9) Azzy 6 pts
10) weeman 5 pts
11) Nakatomi 4 pts
12) Beadle 4 pts
13) Union Cane 3 pts
14) Shah-abu bakr 3 pts
15) The Boss 3 pts
16) superfly 2 pts
17) Jeff 2 pts
18) Grumpy G*lfer 2 pts
19) Dagless 1 pt
20) Michaels 0 pts
21) Jules 0 pts
22) Ray Mears 0 pts
23) Stella 0 pts

Round 3 takes us to books and question was this:  WHAT IS THE BEST PIECE OF FICTION WRITTEN BY A EUROPEAN?

Please remember, THIS IS OPEN FOR ANYONE ON 606v2 TO VOTE

Thanks.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Galted Fri 22 May 2015, 2:00 pm

Hi-Tec also do an extensive range of rugged hiking boots and shoes.
Perhaps I have not sufficiently emphasised this.

I would go so far as to suggest this knowledge of children's footwear stems from an inappropriate interest in lonely kids. I think yew know what I'm talking about.

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Post by Hero Fri 22 May 2015, 2:05 pm

I think it more stems from once being a child who had feet.
Or now being a parent of children who also have feet.

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Post by Dolphin Ziggler Fri 22 May 2015, 2:11 pm

Hi-tec only do hiking and trekking shoes don't they? As the resident young person in this group I can confirm Hi-Tecs would be considered the shoe of an abuse victim or an old paedo in a trench coat

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Post by Hero Fri 22 May 2015, 2:16 pm

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Hi-tec only do hiking and trekking shoes don't they? As the resident young person in this group I can confirm Hi-Tecs would be considered the shoe of an abuse victim or an old paedo in a trench coat

Did the paedo steal your shoes at one point then?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 22 May 2015, 2:23 pm

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:abuse victim or an old paedo in a trench coat

Just add cargo pants and you've described Galted perfectly.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Dolphin Ziggler Fri 22 May 2015, 2:29 pm

Hero wrote:
Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Hi-tec only do hiking and trekking shoes don't they? As the resident young person in this group I can confirm Hi-Tecs would be considered the shoe of an abuse victim or an old paedo in a trench coat

Did the paedo steal your shoes at one point then?

Yeah, but you can keep them.

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Post by Guest Fri 22 May 2015, 2:30 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Style tips from the man in the SLAYER T Shirt, who says we don't do culture round here?

Bald man in a SLAYER T Shirt, Jeff.  Don't forget the bald bit.
They're not style tips, they're lifestyle tips....be not a slave to fashion and the opinion of some overpaid bag of horse dung who decides that checks/spots/stripes are "in" this month. Walk your own path (preferably not in Hi-Tec or Gore-Tex..as I mentioned before, you'll just look like GALTED and GALTED is a c*nt...and not even a young c*nt...just a c*nt...who makes gloves out of toilet paper to touch his own poo)

You're all bags of meat anyway irrespective of how gaudily you dress yourselves...just meat for the blade.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 22 May 2015, 2:31 pm

While we are talking style, I had a haircut and beard trim last Saturday. As well as solving my batting woes (Damien Martyn-like 43 out of a 117 total), it made the very fit bird at work say I look 10 years younger. Dress down day today, sporting a turquoise themed set of new balance, blue jeans and a burgundy polo from Reiss.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 22 May 2015, 2:36 pm

seanmichaels wrote:While we are talking style.

No, Sean. Myself, Galted (to a degree), SerialDAVE, Jeff, Hero, Edam and Dolphin are talking 'style'.

You wear a Tech By Tumi and/or a 1990's Parka. At no point were you invited to talk 'style'.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 22 May 2015, 2:39 pm

I look like a sophisticated Jurgen Klopp now. First shortish back and sides in 20 years.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 22 May 2015, 2:40 pm

And anyway, you take your fashion tips from the fecking checkout dolls at Robert Dyas.....

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Post by Guest Fri 22 May 2015, 2:42 pm

seanmichaels wrote:I look like a sophisticated Jurgen Klopp now. First shortish back and sides in 20 years.
Klopp looks like the sort of man who would be arrested for loitering outside a nursery even if the nearest one was 30 miles away...he's THAT dodgy. For you to compare yourself to him is, to be honest, unsurprising.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 22 May 2015, 2:45 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I look like a sophisticated Jurgen Klopp now. First shortish back and sides in 20 years.
Klopp looks like the sort of man who would be arrested for loitering outside a nursery even if the nearest one was 30 miles away...he's THAT dodgy. For you to compare yourself to him is, to be honest, unsurprising.

I do prefer the Vettori comparison but it is less common.

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Post by Guest Fri 22 May 2015, 2:50 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I look like a sophisticated Jurgen Klopp now. First shortish back and sides in 20 years.
Klopp looks like the sort of man who would be arrested for loitering outside a nursery even if the nearest one was 30 miles away...he's THAT dodgy. For you to compare yourself to him is, to be honest, unsurprising.

I do prefer the Vettori comparison but it is less common.
Less common? Non-existent more like

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Post by Rowley Fri 22 May 2015, 2:57 pm

You can tell this place is staffed and over run by wrestling fans. Terry Pratchett winning

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 22 May 2015, 3:09 pm

10 phucking thousand.

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Post by Guest Fri 22 May 2015, 3:34 pm

seanmichaels wrote:10 phucking thousand.
The number of birds you've sh*gged or the number of lies you've told about the number of birds you've sh*gged?

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Post by Poorfour Fri 22 May 2015, 3:43 pm

I went for Lord of the Flies. I might have gone for Ulysses if I'd ever read it.

I'd have voted for Terry Pratchett if Small Gods, Guards! Guards or Nation had been an option, but Colour of Magic, while very funny, is really just an extended string of fantasy parodies without even a proper plot.
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Post by Galted Fri 22 May 2015, 3:44 pm

seanmichaels wrote:10 phucking thousand.

Congratulations michaels. I would use the applause icon but the Samsung Ret*rd isn't allowing icons again.

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Post by Dolphin Ziggler Fri 22 May 2015, 3:45 pm

Rowley wrote:You can tell this place is staffed and over run by wrestling fans. Terry Pratchett winning

There's limits. Terry Pratchett is far past mine.

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Post by Galted Fri 22 May 2015, 3:48 pm

And I wanted to misquote spectacularly in honour of the occasion but the SR isn't allowing previews again.

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Post by Rowley Fri 22 May 2015, 3:49 pm

10 phucking thousand.Congratulations Sean


Last edited by Rowley on Fri 22 May 2015, 3:50 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Nothing is too much trouble for me when it comes to Galted.)

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 22 May 2015, 3:51 pm

Rowley wrote:You can tell this place is staffed and over run by wrestling fans. Terry Pratchett winning

Is it? I've lost interest.


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Post by Adam D Fri 22 May 2015, 3:52 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Rowley wrote:You can tell this place is staffed and over run by wrestling fans. Terry Pratchett winning

Is it? I've lost interest.

That'll be the Icelandic banks fault

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Post by Guest Fri 22 May 2015, 3:53 pm

Pratchett...nice bloke, sad loss but only found him sporadically funny if I'm honest. Downloaded his books with a view to reading them Couldn't get past Colour of Magic....just don't get what the fuss is about.

Maybe I'm bitter that no fecker is voting for my choice....that's probably it!

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 22 May 2015, 3:53 pm

Adam D wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Rowley wrote:You can tell this place is staffed and over run by wrestling fans. Terry Pratchett winning

Is it? I've lost interest.

That'll be the Icelandic banks fault

Well done Adam. You gave a good account of yourself there.

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Post by Hammersmith harrier Fri 22 May 2015, 4:33 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Hammersmith harrier wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Rowley wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:

Not at all surprised to find that Hero has nominated a book he doesn't like, which was his second choice because his first, another book he doesn't like, was already taken.
Hard to tell if people are nominating the "classics" because they read/enjoyed them or are simply appealing to the populist vote. Same goes for people who listen to Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" or Bach's "Air on a G String" or Beethoven's Fifth.

Never trust any man who picks the fifth over the glorious ninth for Beethoven Dave. Agree about those classical types Dave, now jazz listeners on the other hand, those boys are cultured up to the eyeballs.

michaels'd that you spaz.
Same with those silly ****s who think
MALEVOLENT CREATION's "Retribution" is better than "The Ten Commandments"
SEPULTURA's "Roots" is better than "Beneath the Remains"
METALLICA's "Black Album" is better than "Master of Puppets"
and on it goes......


Or anyone who thinks Sepultura's "Beneath the Remains" is better than "Chaos A.D.".
F*ck "Chaos A.D." It was the death knell for Sepultura...even "Arise" was better than that turdburger. They tried leaping onto the nu-metal bandwagon and it was downhill from then on in as far as I'm concerned.[/quote]

You are so wrong Dave, Kaiowas is the single best song they ever did which considering it was an instrumental demonstrates what I think of Cavalera's singing, good band don't get me wrong but very over rated. Beneath the Remains is to Sepultura what Catch Thirty Three is to Meshuggah, effectively one song split up into individual sections, all too samey for me to consider it a thrash classic.

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Post by Hammersmith harrier Fri 22 May 2015, 4:36 pm

Poorfour wrote:I went for Lord of the Flies. I might have gone for Ulysses if I'd ever read it.

I'd have voted for Terry Pratchett if Small Gods, Guards! Guards or Nation had been an option, but Colour of Magic, while very funny, is really just an extended string of fantasy parodies without even a proper plot.

Same, I have an odd loyalty to Golding for no other reason than he taught at my old school some 50 years before I was there.

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Post by Galted Fri 22 May 2015, 5:04 pm

Rowley wrote:
10 phucking thousand.Congratulations Sean

I love you, Jeff.

In a manly, Yorkshire way.

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Post by Union Cane Fri 22 May 2015, 5:26 pm

Hammersmith harrier wrote:Beneath the Remains is to Sepultura what Catch Thirty Three is to Meshuggah

Exactly.
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Post by Guest Fri 22 May 2015, 5:42 pm

No, no, a thousand times NO.

Despite straddling the Thrash/Death genres, Beneath the Remains stands comfortably alongside the likes of Altars of Madness, Slowly We Rot, Consuming Impulse and Left Hand Path. Raw, visceral and punishing. Full of youthful spite and venom and, arguably, never bettered.

Also, you Michaelsed up the quote function which makes my points infinitely more valid

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Post by Galted Fri 22 May 2015, 5:47 pm

REM mention coffee beans in not one but two of their songs.

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Post by Rowley Fri 22 May 2015, 5:49 pm

DAVE667 wrote:No, no, a thousand times NO.

Despite straddling the Thrash/Death genres, Beneath the Remains stands comfortably alongside the likes of Altars of Madness, Slowly We Rot, Consuming Impulse and Left Hand Path. Raw, visceral and punishing. Full of youthful spite and venom and, arguably, never bettered.

Also, you Michaelsed up the quote function which makes my points infinitely more valid

None of them are exactly 1987 by WHITESNAKE.

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Post by Guest Fri 22 May 2015, 5:51 pm

Galted wrote:REM mention coffee beans in not one but two of their songs.
Legion of the Damned did an album called "Feel the Blade".........I'm just saying

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Post by Guest Fri 22 May 2015, 5:52 pm

Rowley wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:No, no, a thousand times NO.

Despite straddling the Thrash/Death genres, Beneath the Remains stands comfortably alongside the likes of Altars of Madness, Slowly We Rot, Consuming Impulse and Left Hand Path. Raw, visceral and punishing. Full of youthful spite and venom and, arguably, never bettered.

Also, you Michaelsed up the quote function which makes my points infinitely more valid

None of them are exactly 1987 by WHITESNAKE.
Can't argue with that

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Post by Galted Fri 22 May 2015, 5:56 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:REM mention coffee beans in not one but two of their songs.
Legion of the Damned did an album called "Feel the Blade".........I'm just saying
I meant sugarcane.  I think they only mention coffee beans in one of their songs.

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Post by Hammersmith harrier Fri 22 May 2015, 6:37 pm

DAVE667 wrote:No, no, a thousand times NO.

Despite straddling the Thrash/Death genres, Beneath the Remains stands comfortably alongside the likes of Altars of Madness, Slowly We Rot, Consuming Impulse and Left Hand Path. Raw, visceral and punishing. Full of youthful spite and venom and, arguably, never bettered.

Also, you Michaelsed up the quote function which makes my points infinitely more valid

Albums by bands who give Death Metal a bad name, give me Act III by the brilliant Death Angel or Focus by Cynic any day of the week over any of that uncontrolled aggression, a great album needs some up and down rather than a single relentless tempo. Any death metal album that pre-dates Human is a bit hit and miss, it was a scene that needed direction, Schuldiner and Masvidal gave it that with the finest bit of guitar work you'll find on the other side of the Atlantic.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Sat 23 May 2015, 3:28 pm

Right, here is the question for round 4 of the Culture Cup 2.0

We are back to films for the second and final time, and the question is this this:

WHAT IS THE GREATEST FILM TO HAVE INCLUDED THE THE ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS FOR EITHER BEST ACTOR OR ACTRESS ?

Answers either on a postcard or via PM to me please.  Can you send a few choices as there is bound to be cross overs.  I'm shaking things up a little by not posting the list of who gets first picks till everyone has selected their choices.

Thanks.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by ShahenshahG Sat 23 May 2015, 3:35 pm

You piece of sh*t

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Post by JuliusHMarx Sat 23 May 2015, 6:07 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Answers either on a postcard or via PM to me please

Can I just pass it on to Mrs Windows tomorrow evening?

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Post by Guest Sun 24 May 2015, 9:35 pm

Hammersmith harrier wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:No, no, a thousand times NO.

Despite straddling the Thrash/Death genres, Beneath the Remains stands comfortably alongside the likes of Altars of Madness, Slowly We Rot, Consuming Impulse and Left Hand Path. Raw, visceral and punishing. Full of youthful spite and venom and, arguably, never bettered.

Also, you Michaelsed up the quote function which makes my points infinitely more valid

Albums by bands who give Death Metal a bad name, give me Act III by the brilliant Death Angel or Focus by Cynic any day of the week over any of that uncontrolled aggression, a great album needs some up and down rather than a single relentless tempo. Any death metal album that pre-dates Human is a bit hit and miss, it was a scene that needed direction, Schuldiner and Masvidal gave it that with the finest bit of guitar work you'll find on the other side of the Atlantic.
Oh do be quiet

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Post by Galted Tue 26 May 2015, 10:12 am

Sh1t on here today.

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Post by The Womble Tue 26 May 2015, 1:26 pm

Galted wrote:Sh1t on here today.

Yes Galted. Yes it is.
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Post by Rowley Tue 26 May 2015, 3:23 pm

The Womble wrote:
Galted wrote:Sh1t on here today.

Yes Galted. Yes it is.

A discussion on the relative merits of various death METAL bands will tend to do that to a thread.

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Post by Azzy Tue 26 May 2015, 3:26 pm

I skipped reading this thread some time ago and have just finished reading War and Peace 2. Gripping from start to finish but I do worry I finished it and we're still on the same ruddy round.

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Post by Rowley Tue 26 May 2015, 3:28 pm

Azzy wrote:I skipped reading this thread some time ago and have just finished reading War and Peace 2.

Tolstoy did a sequel?

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Post by Guest Tue 26 May 2015, 3:30 pm

Rowley wrote:
The Womble wrote:
Galted wrote:Sh1t on here today.

Yes Galted. Yes it is.

A discussion on the relative merits of various death METAL bands will tend to do that to a thread.
Don't start with me, insect boy

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Post by Rowley Tue 26 May 2015, 3:32 pm

Think you have got me confused with Tina, was my interest in insects to be billed as indifferent you'd be grossly overselling it.

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Post by Hammersmith harrier Tue 26 May 2015, 3:41 pm

Correction there Rowley, I was discussing the merits of Metal bands, Dave however was discussing bands guilty of crimes against all musicality.

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Post by Guest Tue 26 May 2015, 3:43 pm

It all blurs into one to be fair...anyway there's a grindcore band called INSECT WARFARE that someone could use as the soundtrack to one of their arthro-paedo videos

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