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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by Union Cane Tue 14 Jul 2015, 3:14 pm

First topic message reminder :

Sonia is looking trim again, might be worth another crack?
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Post by Galted Wed 29 Jul 2015, 11:04 pm

Rowley wrote:Think he is on 606v3, think he bought Galted's nonsense about all the models on there. Either that or the seven year old has snapped again and hospitalised him.
Wasn't nonsense, Jeff.  Tino and I have just finished a marathon cocaine and sex session with Lord Sewel.  We invited some of the v3 girls around but they're still helping Julius to celebrate birthday.
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Post by ShahenshahG Thu 30 Jul 2015, 6:47 am

Morning f*ckers, sick as a parrot. Had to come in as there was no one to cover me and regretting it already. Hows everyone else.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 30 Jul 2015, 7:17 am

It is tough at the top Shah,

I am bright eyed and bushy tailed today, and off tomorrow so looking forward to a long weekend.

Sicond

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 30 Jul 2015, 8:14 am

Thought barristers were off every friday?

I have a pain in the neck today. Think it is how I sleep.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 30 Jul 2015, 8:17 am

When you live with strangers you can ask them to massage it sean, in your sleep, when they roofie you...

sean wrote:Thought barristers were off every friday?

Every day is a holiday sean...

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 30 Jul 2015, 8:40 am

Morning all. I'm not Peter O'Sullevan. Sorry to see him go, the young whippersnapper.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 30 Jul 2015, 8:43 am

He had a good knock.

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Post by Guest Thu 30 Jul 2015, 9:15 am

rick_dagless wrote:It is tough at the top Shah,

I am bright eyed and bushy tailed today, and off tomorrow so looking forward to a long weekend.

Sicond
I wouldn't know, I'm at the bottom holding the ladder steady for everyone else

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 30 Jul 2015, 9:18 am

DAVE wrote: wouldn't know, I'm at the bottom holding the ladder steady for everyone else

Only because you fell off, landed funny, did your foot in, and now are taking one for the team. We aprpeciate it DAVE...

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Post by Guest Thu 30 Jul 2015, 9:27 am

rick_dagless wrote:
DAVE wrote: wouldn't know, I'm at the bottom holding the ladder steady for everyone else

Only because you fell off, landed funny, did your foot in, and now are taking one for the team.  We aprpeciate it DAVE...
No that was just irony as it showed I shouldn't climb any ladders be they actual, social or otherwise

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 30 Jul 2015, 9:32 am

DAVE wrote:No that was just irony as it showed I shouldn't climb any ladders be they actual, social or otherwise

Dab hand at shallow graves and getting the best out of your basement's storage, maybe down is your forte mate...

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Post by Guest Thu 30 Jul 2015, 9:35 am

rick_dagless wrote:
DAVE wrote:No that was just irony as it showed I shouldn't climb any ladders be they actual, social or otherwise

Dab hand at shallow graves and getting the best out of your basement's storage, maybe down is your forte mate...

could be right

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 30 Jul 2015, 9:44 am

Everybody's looking for the ladder...

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 30 Jul 2015, 10:03 am

sean is more ladder than any of us to be fair, so good place to start.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 30 Jul 2015, 10:04 am

Everybody wants salvation of the soul...

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 30 Jul 2015, 10:12 am

A young bird came to the cricket on Saturday (22ish). I'd just batted and was hot sweaty so I removed my top (trousers still on) and treated myself to a Darren Lehmann ice bath on the terrace (cold beer and a cigarette). She described me as a disgrace to one of the younger guys. What is wrong with birds nowadays?

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu 30 Jul 2015, 10:39 am

They don't approve of smoking.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 30 Jul 2015, 10:43 am

Didn't harm the Queen Mum.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Thu 30 Jul 2015, 12:31 pm

Did harm Roy Castle.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 30 Jul 2015, 1:17 pm

2 x Strongbow.

6/10.

Cons: Bar staff in this country think they are doing us a favour by serving a pint, no stools at the bar (????), retarded customers who only want a southernfried chicken wrap and a diet coke (f*ck off to wimpy), and then the glass had a chemically whiff.

Pro's: I have the 2 pint empty stomach haze to see me through the afternoon and seeing Broad sh!tting himself was worth the £8

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Post by Rowley Thu 30 Jul 2015, 1:36 pm

Eight quid for two pints! So happy to be up north.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 30 Jul 2015, 2:00 pm

Rowley wrote:Eight quid for two pints! So happy to be up north.

That is cheap (£7.80 to be precise).

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Post by Rowley Thu 30 Jul 2015, 2:05 pm

No idea how much cider is up here Sean, in the local a pint of guinness and half a lager is £5.45

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 30 Jul 2015, 2:10 pm

Guinness around £4.20 - £4.50 here. At a 'posh' place £5 easy. Went to Zizzi the other day and a 330ml bottle of preoni was £4.80. At least Dick Turpin wore a mask....

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Post by Guest Fri 31 Jul 2015, 7:12 am

Fist

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri 31 Jul 2015, 7:16 am

Lost your machete?

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 31 Jul 2015, 7:50 am

See Dave as more of a hammer / screwdriver person.

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Post by Rowley Fri 31 Jul 2015, 7:59 am

Morning all

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri 31 Jul 2015, 8:11 am

Morning Jeff. I see you let your customers down and they've turned into a mob

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 31 Jul 2015, 8:25 am

I said I wanted white ones,
but they've send us bloody black
I'm going to put the lid back on
and send the buggers back"

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Post by superflyweight Fri 31 Jul 2015, 9:18 am

Morning all. Always thought that Tina might be Stuart Baggs so I guess we won't be hearing from him again.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 31 Jul 2015, 9:41 am

Tino "The Brand" Windows. RIP.
Suspect some wag said "Going by your culture cup 2.0 record, 6G will be available by the time you get 4G to the Isle of Man" and it was all too much for him.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 31 Jul 2015, 9:48 am

jules are you 60?

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 31 Jul 2015, 9:50 am

No, I'm 50, going on 70.

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Post by Rowley Fri 31 Jul 2015, 10:12 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Jeff. I see you let your customers down and they've turned into a mob


It's carnage Shah. Honestly I am considering basing myself out of a different port Calais is just too much hassle. Even tried to cheer myself up by winding one two up about conspiracy theories on the off topic thread but he did not bite. What are things coming to when I'm not even cunning enough to get a bite out of one two.

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Post by Rowley Fri 31 Jul 2015, 11:52 am

I've made a proper michaels of this one it would appear. Back to trying to wind one two up it would appear

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 31 Jul 2015, 12:14 pm

It's never a good sign when you have to de-micheals your own post.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 31 Jul 2015, 1:26 pm

Seriously, not a good sign at all.

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Post by Rowley Fri 31 Jul 2015, 2:28 pm

When you michaelise a post about michaelising you are entering territory previously uncharted.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 31 Jul 2015, 3:05 pm

The only way is up, baby, for you and me Jeff.

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Post by Rowley Fri 31 Jul 2015, 3:15 pm

80s lyrics will save us Jules, just watch the thread pick back up, nothing's gonna stop us now.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 31 Jul 2015, 4:17 pm

A cool empty silence....

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Post by Rowley Fri 31 Jul 2015, 4:34 pm

I Enjoy The Silence Jules.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 31 Jul 2015, 4:51 pm

It's golden Jeff

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Post by Galted Fri 31 Jul 2015, 5:35 pm

Galtova's away with her photography club for the weekend so I'm about to get bladdered for the first time in over a year.  Have made an adventureland out of a rolled up carpet, some rope and a workout bench to keep the cat occupied.

I'm going to achieve my bladderedness by the medium of Budweiser so, in the unlikely event that anyone can be arsed to read this or comment that Bud is p1ss/water/rubbish etc, you can go and f*ck yourself (unless you're Jeff in which case, fair point).
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Post by Rowley Fri 31 Jul 2015, 5:42 pm

TSMR is out tonight Galted. I will be getting similarly drunk. Downloaded the vanity project FIFA movie for a laugh the other day, might finally watch it just to see how bad it really is. I have bought bottles of various foreign lagers on 4 for six quid from the tescos. Feel better about my drunkenness if I feel I am being cosmopolitan.

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Post by Galted Fri 31 Jul 2015, 5:53 pm

Wish I'd thought of getting bottles now.

I'm going to be watching fanboyflicks's p1ss-takes of crap movies on youtube.  You get all the accidental comedy without having to sit through the actual film.  Samurai Cop is worth a look if you're not acquainted - type "fanboyflicks samurai cop" into google.
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Post by seanmichaels Sun 02 Aug 2015, 6:48 pm

I am not Frak cilla black before shah says owt...

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Post by Dolphin Ziggler Sun 02 Aug 2015, 8:50 pm

Strong possibility that Tino is...

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Post by Galted Sun 02 Aug 2015, 9:05 pm

If she hadn't died I wouldn't have known she was still alive.
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