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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by Union Cane Tue 14 Jul 2015, 3:14 pm

First topic message reminder :

Sonia is looking trim again, might be worth another crack?
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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 11 Aug 2015, 1:20 pm

See me previous reply sean, if you mean with the naked eye, when in the right position, then it is too fuc**ng small obviously.

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 11 Aug 2015, 1:33 pm

you can still see it though, if the earth thing is at the right angle.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 11 Aug 2015, 1:35 pm

Not with the nake eye you can't sean...

Me and NASA, and even a Chinese astronaut agree on this

http://www.nasa.gov/vision/space/workinginspace/great_wall.html

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 11 Aug 2015, 1:39 pm

"The only thing you can see from the Moon is a beautiful sphere, mostly white, some blue and patches of yellow, and every once in a while some green vegetation," said Alan Bean, Apollo 12 astronaut. "No man-made object is visible at this scale."

Bean went on to add:

"Given the right light and atmospheric conditions, TopHat is easily visible from the Moon.  His huge bulbous gut casting a shadow over parts of Northern Europe".

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 11 Aug 2015, 1:42 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:"The only thing you can see from the Moon is a beautiful sphere, mostly white, some blue and patches of yellow

There you go.

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Post by superflyweight Tue 11 Aug 2015, 1:43 pm

You can see it from space with the naked eye sean. But there's a lot of space between the Earth and the Moon.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 11 Aug 2015, 1:48 pm

This is starting to remind me of the Father Ted sketch about one cow that is really small, and the other one far away...

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 11 Aug 2015, 1:49 pm

I don't see the point of space travel. In 50 odd years it has achieved the sum of f*ck all. We could have built underwater citadels to house immigrants in that time.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:11 pm

Ill just put this here sean...

http://www.design-laorosa.com/2012/11/26-nasa-inventions-that-we-take-for.html

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:18 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Ill just put this here sean...

http://www.design-laorosa.com/2012/11/26-nasa-inventions-that-we-take-for.html

• The Swimsuit: NASA used the same principles that reduce drage in space to help create the world's fastest swimsuit for Speedo. This design was rejected by some professionals for giving them an unfair advantage...

So they didn't invent the swimsuit then, they just made them look better. Pretty sure I've seen pictures of Victorian women in swimsuits, way before NASA came along.

And they have spelt 'drag' with an extra 'e'. This website is b*llocks, RiCK.

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:35 pm

I'm not having any of that. Scientists could well have invented all of that anyway, just without the added cost of it being able to stick on to a big f*cking missile.

Satellites, I'll give you that. But they could have been strategically positioned on high points around the earth thus to counteract the problems with the earth's curviture. Again, you wouldn't have to stick it to a missile.

Also, positioned on earth the satellites would be less vulnerable to corruption from invading alien forces determined to use our own technology against ourselves as in Independence Day.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:37 pm

It was just a cursory google search to be honest Tino I didn't preview it.

How about this...

http://www.nasa.gov/50th/50th_magazine/benefits.html

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:38 pm

seanmichaels wrote:

Also, positioned on earth the satellites would be less vulnerable to corruption from invading alien forces determined to use our own technology against ourselves as in Independence Day.

"Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"

Yes Sir.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:39 pm

rick_dagless wrote:It was just a cursory google search to be honest Tino I didn't preview it.

How about this...

http://www.nasa.gov/50th/50th_magazine/benefits.html

F*cking hell, RiCK. That's a bit long for me. Can you write me a synopsis please?

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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:40 pm

Here you go Tino

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:41 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Here you go Tino

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Space rockets. Cool stuff.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:43 pm

Tino wrote:Cool stuff.

Anywhere between 121 degrees Celsius and -157 degress Celsius depending which way it is facing...

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Post by superflyweight Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:45 pm

If it wasn't for space travel we wouldn't have that stupid bloody story repeated by @rseholes the world over about the Americans spending 10 gazillion pounds developing a pen that could write in zero gravity whilst the Soviets just used a pencil.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:46 pm

Which is B00l0cks

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Post by superflyweight Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:54 pm

Aye - try handing in your bookies slip that you've completed with a pencil at Ladbrokes on the Moon. You'd be laughed out of there... and that's Ladbrokes.

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:56 pm

Happens to me a lot in cricket but does anyone ever get freaked out by looking up to the sky in a big open field? Feeling as if gravity is just going to switch off and you float out into space? Don't get it that bad thes days but I used to have to go and hold on to a tree or run indoors when I was younger.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:58 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Happens to me a lot in cricket but does anyone ever get freaked out by looking up to the sky in a big open field? Feeling as if gravity is just going to switch off and you float out into space? Don't get it that bad thes days but I used to have to go and hold on to a tree or run indoors when I was younger.

I used to get that when I was younger. Although it was probably the acid that me and Captain Poofinger had just dropped.

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Post by superflyweight Tue 11 Aug 2015, 2:59 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Happens to me a lot in cricket but does anyone ever get freaked out by looking up to the sky in a big open field? Feeling as if gravity is just going to switch off and you float out into space? Don't get it that bad thes days but I used to have to go and hold on to a tree or run indoors when I was younger.

Police Officer: And do you suffer from any nervous conditions such as panic attacks?

Alan Partridge: (snorts) Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? I had one panic attack at the car wash, it was a perfect storm of no sleep, uh no wife and angry brushes whirling towards me and by the time the hairdryer came on, I was in the footwell.

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 11 Aug 2015, 3:16 pm

I see T-Bone has a new alias.

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Post by superflyweight Wed 12 Aug 2015, 7:26 am

Classic michaelsing of the thread there.

Fist. You mothers!

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 12 Aug 2015, 7:33 am

Alright Super.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 12 Aug 2015, 7:38 am

Morning phuckers

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 12 Aug 2015, 7:39 am

rick_dagless wrote:Morning phuckers

Morning DagLESs.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 12 Aug 2015, 7:43 am

How goes the missionary work in the south Tino?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 12 Aug 2015, 7:51 am

rick_dagless wrote:How goes the missionary work in the south Tino?

I fight a losing battle, RiCk.  You've worked here, you understand the difficulties faced.  Teaching these kids that Budweiser and Coors Light are not beer is frustrating.

I've been having a giggle at Raf on the Ashes thread which has cheered me up.  He can barely hide his frustration that the world isn't watching South Africa right now.  Then went on some long monologue which I got bored reading.  No doubt it involved England being sh*te and South Africa being fabulous.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 12 Aug 2015, 7:56 am

I feel you pain mate I really do, but keep fighting the good fight...

Tino wrote:No doubt it involved England being sh*te and South Africa being fabulous.

As fabulous as his hair and colour coded Jet Ski's?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 12 Aug 2015, 7:58 am

rick_dagless wrote:I feel you pain mate I really do, but keep fighting the good fight...

Tino wrote:No doubt it involved England being sh*te and South Africa being fabulous.

As fabulous as his hair and colour coded Jet Ski's?

Not that fabulous, RiCK. Nothing is that fabulous.

How is Bradders? How is the cut and thrust of the law world?

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Post by superflyweight Wed 12 Aug 2015, 8:04 am

Morning Tina - morning Rick

I hope the cut and thrust of Rick's law world is better than the cut and thrust of mine. I'm spending my days trying to persuade a well known company that builds ATM's and checkout tills - let's call them by the heavily coded name of "MBQ" - that they need to embrace the English language and that they don't just have to communicate exclusively in nouns. Verbs and adjectives can be your friends.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 12 Aug 2015, 8:08 am

Bradders is a delight as always Tino, and the cut and thrust of the law is alarmingly similar to super, as I too am arguing with POS re-sellers, but my thorny issue is over POS scales and the support thereof...

Also some of the bigger boys are utilising their right to assist in licence optimisation... C*nts

How goes the world of ethically sound banking Tino?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 12 Aug 2015, 8:15 am

rick_dagless wrote:Bradders is a delight as always Tino, and the cut and thrust of the law is alarmingly similar to super, as I too am arguing with POS re-sellers, but my thorny issue is over POS scales and the support thereof...

Also some of the bigger boys are utilising their right to assist in licence optimisation... C*nts

How goes the world of ethically sound banking Tino?

Oh, full of ethics and morals as ever, RiCK. I was planning on hitting some European markets today but I have changed my mind and will now focus on playing on the egos of some Saffers in homage to Raf. We don't really consider it fair game as they are so easy to outwit but I think I deserve an easy day.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 12 Aug 2015, 8:17 am

Tino wrote:We don't really consider it fair game as they are so easy to outwit but I think I deserve an easy day.

A laser pointer and a bunch of keys normally does it Tino, thats pretty much how the breakdown of apartheid happened, so fill your boots.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 12 Aug 2015, 8:18 am

superflyweight wrote:Morning Tina - morning Rick

I hope the cut and thrust of Rick's law world is better than the cut and thrust of mine.  I'm spending my days trying to persuade a well known company that builds ATM's and checkout tills - let's call them by the heavily coded name of "MBQ" - that they need to embrace the English language and that they don't just have to communicate exclusively in nouns.  Verbs and adjectives can be your friends.      

Muthaphuckers, charging you £1.75 to access your own bloody cash. They feck you with cell phones. That's what it is. They're feckin' you with the cell phone. They love it when you get cut off. Y'know why, huh? You know why? 'Cause when you call back - -which they know you're gonna do. - -they charge you for that feckin' first minute again at that high rate.

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Post by Rowley Wed 12 Aug 2015, 8:32 am

Cell phones, disappointing.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 12 Aug 2015, 8:37 am

Lethal Weapon 4. Good film.

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Post by superflyweight Wed 12 Aug 2015, 8:52 am

seanmichaels wrote:Lethal Weapon 4. Good film.

It's bloody dreadful Sean. Gibson doesn't even have a mullet in it and I preferred the ones where he lived in a caravan. I like to imagine that he'd won big on Bullseye and was determined to get some value out of his prize. Murtaugh has a boat as well, so he could also have been a big winner on Bullseye.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 12 Aug 2015, 9:00 am

superflyweight wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Lethal Weapon 4. Good film.

It's bloody dreadful Sean.  Gibson doesn't even have a mullet in it and I preferred the ones where he lived in a caravan.  I like to imagine that he'd won big on Bullseye and was determined to get some value out of his prize.  Murtaugh has a boat as well, so he could also have been a big winner on Bullseye.  

I had never thought of that. Do they have Bullseye in the US?


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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 12 Aug 2015, 9:29 am

(can't allow a michaelsing this early)

There is a sweet called a Bullseye, and a comic book character as well...

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 12 Aug 2015, 9:33 am

rick_dagless wrote:(can't allow a michaelsing this early)

There is a sweet called a Bullseye, and a comic book character as well...

And there is one on the side of a lion in Zimbabwe.

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Post by Rowley Wed 12 Aug 2015, 9:39 am

My dad went to school with Jim Bowen, his real name is Jim Whitaker.

My dad met him a while ago, they had a chat and catch up about school and the old times, although Jim Bowen/Whitaker did not remember him.

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Post by Rowley Wed 12 Aug 2015, 9:40 am

(that is how you save a thread Rick) if the CC is good for anything it is tedious and tenuous showbiz/celebrity anecdotes.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 12 Aug 2015, 9:42 am

True story Jeff, and that one is a zinger...

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 12 Aug 2015, 9:43 am

Rowley wrote:(that is how you save a thread Rick) if the CC is good for anything it is tedious and tenuous showbiz/celebrity anecdotes.

I'd already saved it with a dead lion quip. A dead lion quip that deserved better than to be completely overlooked.

F*ck you, Jeff.

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Post by Rowley Wed 12 Aug 2015, 9:51 am

He did tell my dad a true Bullseye anecdote, which I will share for you now. At the end game, as I am sure you all know if the first team did not want to gamble they asked the second team and then the third. Whitaker said it only happened twice where all three couples did not want to gamble, obviously as this would spoil the show the producers would come out and say to the last couple agree to gamble and you can keep the money irrespective of the outcome. On one of the occasions the last couple were, according to Whitaker, a bit on the dim side and after the producer had explained what was happening to them they started filming again, Whitaker asked them if they would gamble, which they agreed to, Whitaker said, as tradition dictates, give me your money then, to which one of the contestants said, your mate said we could keep it.
 
Boom, insider showbiz stories. I’m on fire this morning.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 12 Aug 2015, 10:01 am

F*ck you, Jeff.

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Post by superflyweight Wed 12 Aug 2015, 10:01 am

I like that you're referring to him as "Whitaker". It's like calling Elton John "Reg".

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