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Films that fail trade descriptions

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Post by Hero Thu 17 Sep 2015, 11:55 am

First topic message reminder :

Due to Hammersmith's disappointment with the film American Sniper because he wasn't sniperrish enough (snipperish isn't a word but go with it) I thought a thread in which other films fail to deliver on what the title is and perhaps a more accurate title could be? Or what strap lines could be used if the film was actually about it's title?

Jaws: The greatest mandible bone reconstructive surgery story ever told
Gone with the Wind: A family's struggle to deal with the loss of their home due to a hurricane
Silence of the Lambs: A mute sheep's brave journey to regain its voice

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Post by superflyweight Thu 17 Sep 2015, 4:13 pm

Das Boot - it was a submarine.

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Post by Dr Shoe Thu 17 Sep 2015, 4:18 pm

superflyweight wrote:Das Boot - it was a submarine.  
Thats my favourite film.

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Post by Rowley Thu 17 Sep 2015, 4:19 pm

City of God is full of it as well, looks like a right dump.

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Post by Scottrf Thu 17 Sep 2015, 5:01 pm

The 400 Blows Sad

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Post by Galted Thu 17 Sep 2015, 5:55 pm

Jungle Book.

It wasn't a book, it was a f*cking film. Why call something a book if it's a film? Walt Disney is a w*nker.
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Post by Guest Fri 25 Sep 2015, 9:19 am

Marley and Me...no reggae or ganja...just silly c*nts weeping over a dead dog

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Post by Alistair Fri 25 Sep 2015, 9:29 am

Mary Poppins

She doesn't just 'pop in' though does she? She's always there. Stalkerish b*tch.

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Post by Guest Fri 25 Sep 2015, 10:07 am

IRONMAN...not a single Ozzy song to be heard

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Post by Guest Fri 25 Sep 2015, 12:49 pm

The Neverending Story. It ended.
The Neverending Story II. It ended again.
The Neverending Story III. It ended once more.

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Post by kingraf Fri 25 Sep 2015, 1:07 pm

To my disappointment, Harry Potter was not a stoner film.
Raging Bull was not a moving documentary on the life of bulls in bull fighting.
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Post by Steffan Fri 25 Sep 2015, 7:36 pm

The Karate Kid

A character played by a 22 year old actor doesn't quite equate to being a "kid" in my book

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Post by aja424 Wed 30 Sep 2015, 12:08 am

Candyman- He wasn't giving out candy.

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Post by Guest Wed 30 Sep 2015, 9:14 am

I know what you did last Summer - it never mentioned me once.

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Post by Steffan Wed 30 Sep 2015, 9:16 am

Desperado - Did not see one friggin bottle of this stuff in the entire movie:

Films that fail trade descriptions - Page 2 Desperado-tequila-beer-500x500

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Post by Guest Wed 30 Sep 2015, 9:20 am

Pulp Fiction - not a story about Jarvis Cocker

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 30 Sep 2015, 10:42 am

Debbie does Dallas - I don't think she properly explored the city at all...

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Post by superflyweight Wed 30 Sep 2015, 12:39 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Debbie does Dallas - I don't think she properly explored the city at all...

Nor did she "do" ex Scottish football referee, Hugh Dallas.

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Post by Stella Wed 30 Sep 2015, 12:41 pm

superflyweight wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Debbie does Dallas - I don't think she properly explored the city at all...

Nor did she "do" ex Scottish football referee, Hugh Dallas.  

Would you?
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Post by Guest Wed 30 Sep 2015, 12:42 pm

plenty of nooks and crannies were explored

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Post by superflyweight Wed 30 Sep 2015, 12:43 pm

If the money was right and they promised that the film would be tastefully shot.

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Post by Guest Wed 30 Sep 2015, 12:45 pm

Sean knows all about taste and shots from his schooldays

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 30 Sep 2015, 12:58 pm

super wrote:Nor did she "do" ex Scottish football referee, Hugh Dallas.

I will go back and double check just in case.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 30 Sep 2015, 3:31 pm

Last of the Mohicans. Did they not see the A-Team?

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Post by Stella Wed 30 Sep 2015, 3:53 pm

Bolt

Usain was nowhere to be seen!
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Post by seanmichaels Wed 30 Sep 2015, 4:04 pm

Drive. Not a gippo in sight......

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Post by Stella Wed 30 Sep 2015, 4:06 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Drive. Not a gippo in sight......

Laugh Took me a few seconds to get that one Erm
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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 30 Sep 2015, 4:54 pm

Ha!

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Post by Pal Joey Tue 06 Oct 2015, 7:39 am

The Poseidon Adventure. What an adventure that was.
Star Wars. Stars don't kill each other. People and weird creatures do.
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Post by CFCNick Tue 06 Oct 2015, 12:01 pm

Hot Rod. Spends the movie either simply riding or doing stunts on an old fashioned pedal moped.

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Post by compelling and rich Tue 13 Oct 2015, 7:31 pm

mars attacks- not a chocolate bar in sight!
oldboy- he really wasnt that old
trainspotting- think i must have misjudged train spotters if thats what they get up to

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Post by Guest Tue 13 Oct 2015, 7:39 pm

Things to do in Denver when you're dead - thought they may have come up with a few more interesting suggestions than "be still and wait for the relevant authorities to find your corpse"

Skyfall - it stayed where it was.

Minority Report - Not a single crime reported by a Latvian.

Blade Runner - No one running on (or even with) a pair of scissors

Kramer vs Kramer - the kooky neighbor from Seinfeld doesn't appear at all let alone get into an impromptu fight with a relative

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Post by Guest Wed 14 Oct 2015, 8:32 am

Good Will Hunting - He wasn't that good, but it wasn't his fault.
The Last Boy Scout - Where?
Jurassic Park - As a previous poster pointed out, most of the dinosaurs came from the Cretaceous Period.

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Post by President Trump Wed 14 Oct 2015, 9:00 am

You, me and Marley - I wasn't in it

Charlie and the Chocolate factory - looks like its made of bricks to me


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Post by Guest Wed 14 Oct 2015, 10:54 am

I'm still debating whether Superman fails trade descriptions.  Perhaps "Supermanoid" is more appropriate.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 14 Oct 2015, 11:16 am

Commando.

Nothing indicating whether they wore underwear or not

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 14 Oct 2015, 11:20 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Commando.

Nothing indicating whether they wore underwear or not

Bennett had a vest.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 14 Oct 2015, 11:22 am

I'd not factored in your love and keen study of homoerotica

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