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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by Guest Mon 21 Sep 2015, 9:49 am

First topic message reminder :

seanmichaels wrote:
Rowley wrote:I'm trying to help Sean, genuinely believe eliminating such phrases from your vocabulary might assist you.

I am very polite in real life. Helped a blind lady on a train yesterday.
She wanted to get into a taxi though

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 22 Sep 2015, 4:54 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxBMT0rH9hU

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 22 Sep 2015, 6:06 pm

Hibbz wrote:A box without hinges, key or lid,
Yet golden treasure inside is hid.

Is it Sonia jackson's growler?

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Post by Dolphin Ziggler Tue 22 Sep 2015, 6:18 pm

Your standards are getting lower, Sean.

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Post by Hibbz Tue 22 Sep 2015, 6:35 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Hibbz wrote:A box without hinges, key or lid,
Yet golden treasure inside is hid.

Is it Sonia jackson's growler?

Ha ha brilliant. It's good but it's not tight.

Say what you see (smell).

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 22 Sep 2015, 7:09 pm

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Your standards are getting lower, Sean.

I think you underestimate his desperation. He's been there before.

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Post by Adam D Tue 22 Sep 2015, 7:22 pm

I would guess an egg but that's quite boring

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 22 Sep 2015, 7:31 pm

Hibbz wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Hibbz wrote:A box without hinges, key or lid,
Yet golden treasure inside is hid.

Is it Sonia jackson's growler?

Ha ha brilliant. It's good but it's not tight.

Say what you see (smell).


Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked  Shocked

Hibbz, you've dropped to Michaels' level of desperation. Disgraceful

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Post by Galted Tue 22 Sep 2015, 7:37 pm

Adam D wrote:I would guess an egg but that's quite boring

Eggs aren't boring. They can be boiled, fried, scrambled, poached, made into meringues etc
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Post by seanmichaels Tue 22 Sep 2015, 7:43 pm

On a Glated scale of 1 to 10 mentioning meringue as a use for an egg is pretty glay. Yorkshire puddings didn't even make your list

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 22 Sep 2015, 7:45 pm

Having a radox muscle soak. As Jeffrey would say, deeevine..

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Post by Galted Tue 22 Sep 2015, 9:20 pm

Think the mods should try to force this poster onto the Culture Cup thread...

TJ wrote:There is the herring Gull - thats the big stroppy one that eats rubbish but not herrings
There is the lessor and greater black backed gulls - that actually have black wings not backs
There is the black headed gull thats head is brown part of the year and white the rest
There is the common gull that is actually quite rare
There is the kittiwake thats not actually called a gull although it is one.
None of their names are actually true

There is no such bird as a seagull!

He is to the existence of seagulls debate what Dawkins and Hitchins are to the existence of God debate*.

* though the existence of Julius H Marx might prove Dawkins and Hitchins wrong.
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Post by Rowley Tue 22 Sep 2015, 9:54 pm

God night to be a Villa fan Galted, and they don't come along too often.

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Post by Galted Tue 22 Sep 2015, 10:11 pm

Yep, at least they choose the right moments to get a win - makes being poor easier to take if your neighbours are poorer than you.
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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 22 Sep 2015, 11:04 pm

Galted wrote:Yep, at least they choose the right moments to get a win - makes being poor easier to take if your neighbours are poorer than you.

laughing clap

Humanity in a nutshell

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 23 Sep 2015, 7:33 am

Morning all.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 23 Sep 2015, 7:56 am

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all.

Morning RiCK. You alright?

I'm liking this TJ chap. Knows sh*t loads about seagulls.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 23 Sep 2015, 7:59 am

Hmm, looks promising, seems to be knowledge rather than wiki...

I am good today, pleasant morning here in Bradders, how is the south?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:12 am

rick_dagless wrote:Hmm, looks promising, seems to be knowledge rather than wiki...

I am good today, pleasant morning here in Bradders, how is the south?

Apart from the obvious drawback of being in the south, it is a particularly pleasant today.

Bit of a crisp chill in the air but the sky is blue and the sun is shining.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:22 am

Similar here, autumn is my favourite season so all good.

Though busy today and need to prep a best man speech which, considering the amount of presentations and stuff I do, I am absolutely papping it about...

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:27 am

rick_dagless wrote:Similar here, autumn is my favourite season so all good.

Though busy today and need to prep a best man speech which, considering the amount of presentations and stuff I do, I am absolutely papping it about...

Tell them the groom likes apples, wants to be big in Cider.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:30 am

seanmichaels wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Similar here, autumn is my favourite season so all good.

Though busy today and need to prep a best man speech which, considering the amount of presentations and stuff I do, I am absolutely papping it about...

Tell them the groom likes apples, wants to be big in Cider.

Or say they are going to Wales for the honeymoon. He is going to Bangor for two weeks.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:33 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Similar here, autumn is my favourite season so all good.

Though busy today and need to prep a best man speech which, considering the amount of presentations and stuff I do, I am absolutely papping it about...

Tell them the groom likes apples, wants to be big in Cider.

Or say they are going to Wales for the honeymoon.  He is going to Bangor for two weeks.

That is good.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:35 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Similar here, autumn is my favourite season so all good.

Though busy today and need to prep a best man speech which, considering the amount of presentations and stuff I do, I am absolutely papping it about...

Tell them the groom likes apples, wants to be big in Cider.

Or say they are going to Wales for the honeymoon.  He is going to Bangor for two weeks.

That is good.

As was yours.

I'd like to say I came up with it but I can't. Heard it at the last wedding I went to. Lots of tittering all round.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:42 am

My mate married a Colombian and the best man said something like 'The Colombian contingent will be pleased to know I was up all night preparing some lines for today'. Bar one table, it was a pretty disastrous opening gambit.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:47 am

seanmichaels wrote:My mate married a Colombian and the best man said something like 'The Colombian contingent will be pleased to know I was up all night preparing some lines for today'. Bar one table, it was a pretty disastrous opening gambit.

Laugh

Quality.

I have a similar experience of a mate who married a septic. His best man opened up with "Being asked to be best man is like being asked to sh*g the Queen Mother. It's a great honour but no one really wants to do it".

The English contingent fell about laughing, the American half of the room sat there in stony faced silence.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:50 am

They are both from Northwich so maybe a Floatel related pun? Or something about salt?

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Post by Rowley Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:51 am

Morning all, up the Villa.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:53 am

rick_dagless wrote:They are both from Northwich so maybe a Floatel related pun?  Or something about salt?

Definitely get the Floatel in there.

I'm sure you can get some sort of salt/jizz related pun in there. Man of your erudition.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:53 am

Morning Jeff.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Wed 23 Sep 2015, 8:59 am

Ha!

The best man I was talking about is getting married next summer in France. He is marrying the ex's sister. That will be interesting as he is insisting I still have to go. Regardless, he'll get detroyed on his stag do and in the best man's speech. His best man is an animal. Rugby playing stockbroker in London

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 23 Sep 2015, 9:05 am

I like the queen mum joke so nice one...

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Post by Guest Wed 23 Sep 2015, 9:07 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Morning all.

Morning RiCK.  You alright?

I'm liking this TJ chap.  Knows sh*t loads about seagulls.
I need to know if the red mark on their beaks is the ketchup stain they get from years of eating chips at the seaside. Sounds like he's the man who'll have the right answer.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 23 Sep 2015, 9:10 am

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Morning all.

Morning RiCK.  You alright?

I'm liking this TJ chap.  Knows sh*t loads about seagulls.
I need to know if the red mark on their beaks is the ketchup stain they get from years of eating chips at the seaside. Sounds like he's the man who'll have the right answer.

He knows more about them I do. Although I know the key fact that they don't exist. I would ask TJ, SerialDAVE. And if you're not happy with his answer then just decapitate him.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Wed 23 Sep 2015, 9:11 am

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Morning all.

Morning RiCK.  You alright?

I'm liking this TJ chap.  Knows sh*t loads about seagulls.
I need to know if the red mark on their beaks is the ketchup stain they get from years of eating chips at the seaside. Sounds like he's the man who'll have the right answer.

I always used to think that!

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Post by Guest Wed 23 Sep 2015, 9:33 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Morning all.

Morning RiCK.  You alright?

I'm liking this TJ chap.  Knows sh*t loads about seagulls.
I need to know if the red mark on their beaks is the ketchup stain they get from years of eating chips at the seaside. Sounds like he's the man who'll have the right answer.

He knows more about them I do.  Although I know the key fact that they don't exist.  I would ask TJ, SerialDAVE.  And if you're not happy with his answer then just decapitate him.
I could then feed him to the gulls, terns, spoonbills, curlew, whimbrels and whatever else I choose in a psychotic fit of ironic whimsy...or just leave him to wash up on the shoreline.

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Post by Alistair Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:06 am

seanmichaels wrote:My mate married a Colombian and the best man said something like 'The Colombian contingent will be pleased to know I was up all night preparing some lines for today'. Bar one table, it was a pretty disastrous opening gambit.

l*l

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Post by Rowley Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:07 am

My best man made a joke about a Rotherham girl's usual protection during sex being a bus shelter. There were pockets of the room it did not go over too well with.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:12 am

That is a belter.

It is a funny old tradition. Essentially the role is to offend 75% of the wedding party.


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Post by Galted Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:14 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Apart from the obvious drawback of being in the south, it is a particularly pleasant

You seem to ignore or, more likely, forget the fact that when you're in the south you're closer to the equator, the most rock 'n roll of all the lines of latitude.



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Post by Alistair Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:15 am

Rowley,

What did you make of Rowett's claim that he knew the Villa side on Monday? And what is Sherwood's problem with Gestede?

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Post by Rowley Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:17 am

Not too sure what to make if it Ali, made little difference in the end. I like Gestede. He certainly looks more of a goal threat than Gabby (damning with faint praise I realise) Thought we looked way better second half. Grealish made such a difference, he makes things happen.

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Post by Hero Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:18 am

On my wedding speech I said that it really was the Cinderella wedding as my wife came with two ugly sisters. That didn't go down well with them.

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Post by Alistair Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:19 am

Odd that he won't play to his strengths. Never bought the fascination with Gabby. It's certainly a strange claim to make, especially after the game.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:19 am

Hero wrote:On my wedding speech I said that it really was the Cinderella wedding as my wife came with two ugly sisters. That didn't go down well with them.

You legend.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:21 am

And Laugh to all your anecdotes. You guys are on fire today...er forget I told you that.

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Post by Guest Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:34 am

ShahenshahG wrote:And Laugh to all your anecdotes. You guys are on fire today...er forget I told you that.
Shah sees into the future

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Post by Guest Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:37 am

Rowley wrote:My best man made a joke about a Rotherham girl's usual protection during sex being a bus shelter. There were pockets of the room it did not go over too well with.
Closely followed by
How do you know when a Rotherham lass has had an orgasm?
She drops her chips!

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 23 Sep 2015, 10:46 am

Is TSMR a Rotherite Jeff?

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 23 Sep 2015, 11:15 am

I once attended a wedding in pakistan proper. An arranged marriage for one of the girls in the extended family. A proper beauty that had managed to tug at a campaigning politicians heartstrings. So being enamoured of her he got it sorted without realising he'd be inviting kashmiri hillbillies to the wedding. In the end only 6 of us ended up making the trip. So on the night before the wedding there were us 6 and a crowd of politicians clad in their facsimile of Tino clothing shou ting out pretty lame insults at the groom. Then suddenly dad tottered to his feet and approached the groom on the stage whose grin became rather fixed. Dad put his arm around the groom and started pointing at his godawful three striped jumper demanding people answer what colour each stripe was. In the spirit of things we started shouting out the answers.

Pointing at the top stripe
Dad: What colour is this ?
Us: WHITE

Pointing at middle stripe
Dad: What colour is this?
Us: GREY

Pointing at the last stripe
Dad: What colour is this?
Us: BLACK

So dad gives us all a Poopie eating grin and says that this man is a true politician - the closer you get to his heart the blacker it gets.

Only the 5 of us laughed.

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Post by Rowley Wed 23 Sep 2015, 11:26 am

seanmichaels wrote:Is TSMR a Rotherite Jeff?

Born and bred Sean.

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