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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by seanmichaels Tue Oct 20, 2015 5:12 pm

First topic message reminder :

His father’s a jock
He has a 2” c0ck

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Post by Galted Thu Nov 05, 2015 5:59 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:So how'd your conference call go, Tino? *

* sorry to keep the work-theme going, Jeff, but it's important to make Tino feel special on his big day.

I haven't had one today. But if I had, I'm sure it would have been excruciatingly boring.

You talking to me is enough to make me feel special.

Now you've only gone and made me feel special!!!!! What a blessed day.
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Post by seanmichaels Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:06 pm

There's an advert on the radio that says 'You know summer is coming when that weird bloke from IT starts wearing shorts to work...'.

Always think of Galted in his safari gear when I hear that.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:10 pm

seanmichaels wrote:There's an advert on the radio that says 'You know summer is coming when that weird bloke from IT starts wearing shorts to work...'.

Always think of Galted in his safari gear when I hear that.

Glated is on record as saying he has magnificently toned legs.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Galted Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:42 pm

These are some of my favourite seasons; summer, autumn etc
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Post by Guest Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:44 pm

Sorry I'm late to the party, was making Tina's "birthday card" but on reflection it may have been a bad idea as I carved it into the torso of a "birthday hooker" (basically a hooker killed on someone's birthday so essentially they're all birthday hookers) and put Tina's name on.

Still, once he's arrested, he's bound to get some belated birthday sex even if it's of the variety that would only appeal to Sean.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:46 pm

DAVE667 wrote:Sorry I'm late to the party, was making Tina's "birthday card" but on reflection it may have been a bad idea as I carved it into the torso of a "birthday hooker" (basically a hooker killed on someone's birthday so essentially they're all birthday hookers) and put Tina's name on.

Still, once he's arrested, he's bound to get some belated birthday sex even if it's of the variety that would only appeal to Sean.

Birthday wishes in a way only SerialDAVE could come up with.

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Post by seanmichaels Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:03 pm

Galted wrote:These are some of my favourite seasons; summer, autumn etc

Autumn - The crisp hazy chill in the morning, migrating wild birds, the smell of bonfires, trees turning yellow through to blood red, a giant soggy leaf splatting an IT professional in the face whilst waiting for his bus.....

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:06 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:These are some of my favourite seasons; summer, autumn etc

Autumn - The crisp hazy chill in the morning, migrating wild birds, the smell of bonfires, trees turning yellow through to blood red, a giant soggy leaf splatting an IT professional in the face whilst waiting for his bus.....

Generous.

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Post by ShahenshahG Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:20 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:These are some of my favourite seasons; summer, autumn etc

Autumn - The crisp hazy chill in the morning, migrating wild birds, the smell of bonfires, trees turning yellow through to blood red, a giant soggy leaf splatting an IT professional in the face whilst waiting for his bus.....

Generous.

He can't even tell the truth about others.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:26 pm

I'll be playing tennis this evening. If I serve an ace, I will say loudly "That one's for Tino".

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:33 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:I'll be playing tennis this evening. If I serve an ace, I will say loudly "That one's for Tino".

That would make me so happy.

Let me know tomorrow.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Guest Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:44 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:These are some of my favourite seasons; summer, autumn etc

Autumn - The crisp hazy chill in the morning, migrating wild birds, the smell of bonfires, trees turning yellow through to blood red, a giant soggy leaf splatting an IT professional in the face whilst waiting for his bus.....
Erotic..erm, I mean evocative!

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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:48 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I'll be playing tennis this evening. If I serve an ace, I will say loudly "That one's for Tino".

That would make me so happy.

Let me know tomorrow.

If I ever serve an ace it would make me happy as well.

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Post by Guest Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:51 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I'll be having sex this evening. If I get head, I will say loudly "That one's for Tino".

That would make me so happy.

Let me know tomorrow.

If I ever get head it would make me happy as well.

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Post by Dolphin Ziggler Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:59 pm

seanius wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I'll be playing tennis this evening. If I serve an ace, I will say loudly "That one's for Tino".

That would make me so happy.

Let me know tomorrow.

If I ever get laid it would make me happy as well.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Nov 05, 2015 8:03 pm

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:If I ever get to touch Stone Cold Steve Austin on the c*ck it would make me so happy.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Thu Nov 05, 2015 8:04 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I'll be having sex this evening. If I get head, I will say loudly "That one's for Tino".

That would make me so happy.

Let me know tomorrow.

If I ever get head it would make me happy as well.

Serving an ace is at least within the realms of possibility.

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Post by ShahenshahG Thu Nov 05, 2015 8:10 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Dolphin Ziggler wrote:If I ever get to touch Stone Cold Steve Austin on the c*ck it would make me so happy.

I WILL NOT BURY MY SON. MY SON WILL BURY ME.

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Post by Guest Thu Nov 05, 2015 8:11 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Dolphin Ziggler wrote:If I ever get to touch Stone Cold Steve Austin on the c*ck it would make me so happy.
If ya want Ziggler to touch Stone Cold on the balls, gimme a Hell Yeah.

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Post by Galted Thu Nov 05, 2015 9:22 pm

DAVE667 wrote:Sorry I'm late to the party, was making Tina's "birthday card" but on reflection it may have been a bad idea as I carved it into the torso of a "birthday hooker" (basically a hooker killed on someone's birthday so essentially they're all birthday hookers) and put Tina's name on.

Still, once he's arrested, he's bound to get some belated birthday sex even if it's of the variety that would only appeal to Sean.


I'd fancy doing a corpse if it wasn't fat and hadn't been dead too long.  And if it was female, human and I either didn't know it or disliked it when it was alive.  And wasn't too messy.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Nov 06, 2015 9:37 am

Happy Friday Shah

Fist

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri Nov 06, 2015 9:52 am

Seasons greetings Rick the Strick,

Plain autumn morning, it's still dark and the cameras have turned into black and white mode which is serialDaves critical moment to strike. Other than that, am knackered and bored already. Come on T'weekend

How the devil are you?


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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Nov 06, 2015 10:03 am

Pretty sweet mate cheers...

You ever played a game called 5 nights at freddies? It is on PC.

You anything planned this weekend mate?

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Post by Rowley Fri Nov 06, 2015 10:24 am

Morning all, big day today. Roses tickets on sale this morning. Sister in law and mates missus on the task for me, then another interview this afternoon. Big firm and massive pay increase if I can get this one. Quite figuratively bricking it.

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri Nov 06, 2015 10:47 am

rick_dagless wrote:Pretty sweet mate cheers...  

You ever played a game called 5 nights at freddies? It is on PC.

You anything planned this weekend mate?

No I haven't mate. Though will look it up and nothing planned except rest and the weed of wisdom.

Morning Rowley the bowely

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Post by Rowley Fri Nov 06, 2015 10:48 am

Morning Rick. How is the world of ambulance chasing and PPI claims going?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:04 am

Morning all.  It is no longer my birthday.

Good luck, Jeff.Literally Figuratively knock them dead.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:05 am

Jeff wrote:Morning Rick. How is the world of ambulance chasing and PPI claims going?

Morally exhausting and mostly futile Jeff, how goes cramming our obviously overcrowded borders with the spawn of Djinn?

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:06 am

Didn't even see that part.

Best of luck Jeff.

Morning Windows, How was the birthday?

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:08 am

Did you get to do a sex on Mrs W? (you can lie if you need to)

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:14 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Didn't even see that part.

Best of luck Jeff.

Morning Windows, How was the birthday?

Pretty much the same as the last one.  Couple of DVDs, a book and some sweets from the kids which I almost certainly paid for anyway, and some nice whisky from Mrs Windows that I chose.  And probably paid for.

I've got a feeling we are going somewhere tonight though as we appear to have babysitters booked and I have no idea what for.  I'm hoping it is to the cinema so I can stuff my face with pick and mix and fall asleep for an hour.

The truth: No, Shah.  No I didn't.  Although we still have the weekend so hope is not lost.

The lie (also known as doing a Sean): Yes, Shah.  Yes I did.  We were at it for hours and we got Jessica Alba round to finish me off whilst I fingered Sonia from Eastenders.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:18 am

Tino wrote:The truth: No, Shah. No I didn't. Although we still have the weekend so hope is not lost.

The lie (also known as doing a Sean): Yes, Shah. Yes I did. We were at it for hours and we got Jessica Alba round to finish me off whilst I fingered Sonia from Eastenders.

I like Shah, but I don't want to transform into him, despite the many wives.

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:25 am

rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:The truth: No, Shah.  No I didn't.  Although we still have the weekend so hope is not lost.

The lie (also known as doing a Sean): Yes, Shah.  Yes I did.  We were at it for hours and we got Jessica Alba round to finish me off whilst I fingered Sonia from Eastenders.

I like Shah, but I don't want to transform into him, despite the many wives.

It's a tough life

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:29 am

Morning.

I am now a month since I ordered my BT package and still no internet or TV. Bill due tomorrow. It the feckers take anything I am going to spend my weekend finding BT boxes and smashing them up.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:33 am

Shah wrote:It's a tough life

I don't have the energy these days mate...

Morning sean.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:44 am

Emailed the Chief exec:

Dear Mr Patterson.

I am writing to complain about the (lack of) installation of BT Phone Broadband and TV services and the subsequent customer relations experience I have received.

I ordered BT infinity Broadband, TV and phone line originally back on October 7th 2015. I am now being told it will be 10th November 2015. I have received 2 x Hubs and a youview box. There was an existing BT socket in the property. The level of idiocy I have experienced is astounding. I have spent over 6 hours on the phone to your ‘customer relations’ department.

I intend to raise this with consumer groups and the newspapers to highlight the stress and anxiety your company has caused.

Yours sincerely,

Seanmichaels

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:47 am

It is not the letter I would've written sean but I hope it works for you.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:51 am

seanmichaels wrote:Emailed the Chief exec:

Dear Mr Patterson.

I am writing to complain about the (lack of) installation of BT Phone Broadband and TV services and the subsequent customer relations experience I have received.

I ordered BT infinity Broadband, TV and phone line originally back on October 7th 2015. I am now being told it will be 10th November 2015. I have received 2 x Hubs and a youview box. There was an existing BT socket in the property. The level of idiocy I have experienced is astounding. I have spent over 6 hours on the phone to your ‘customer relations’ department.

I intend to raise this with consumer groups and the newspapers to highlight the stress and anxiety your company has caused.

Yours sincerely,

Seanmichaels

Dear Seanmichaels,

Thanks for your letter outlining your concerns.

I will ensure it gets looked at in the future.

In the meantime, have you seen that Aldi are doing 8 cans of Easy Rider for £4.50? Get yourself down there lad. Bargain.

I have to go now, as I am meeting some newly single French sort who has promised me a nosh if I install her broadband personally.

Love to the family.

x

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:52 am

8 cans for £4.50. Really?

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:54 am

rick_dagless wrote:It is not the letter I would've written sean but I hope it works for you.

I rushed it. What would you have written. I am chatting on line and have told them I am putting the hubs and youview box on a bonfire instead of guy fawkes.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:56 am

L*l out loud

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:03 pm

In your face windows!!

Dear Seanmichaels,

I am sorry we have let you down and I understand your frustration.

I have asked the service escalation team to undertake a full review and they will be in touch to discuss how we can address the issues you have raised.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

Sincerely,

Gavin

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:04 pm

Basically it means I am going to get a call from some mong in India......

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:13 pm

sean wrote: rushed it. What would you have written. I am chatting on line and have told them I am putting the hubs and youview box on a bonfire instead of guy fawkes.

Passive aggressive always works better with a mild threat or leaving the service

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:15 pm

sean wrote:Basically it means I am going to get a call from some mong in India

This

Spoiler:

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Post by Pal Joey Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:19 pm

rick_dagless wrote:
sean wrote: rushed it. What would you have written. I am chatting on line and have told them I am putting the hubs and youview box on a bonfire instead of guy fawkes.

Passive aggressive always works better with a mild threat or leaving the service

Nothing wrong with a passive threat and some mild aggression either. Works well for me.
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Post by seanmichaels Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:20 pm

rick_dagless wrote:
sean wrote: rushed it. What would you have written. I am chatting on line and have told them I am putting the hubs and youview box on a bonfire instead of guy fawkes.

Passive aggressive always works better with a mild threat or leaving the service

That is not good enough. I see BT engineers in the area all the time. If it is not connected today I will cancel the subscription. I will not return the 2 (!!!!!!) hubs you have sent or the youview box. If you want them I will leave them by the bins in the car park.

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Post by Adam D Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:21 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
sean wrote: rushed it. What would you have written. I am chatting on line and have told them I am putting the hubs and youview box on a bonfire instead of guy fawkes.

Passive aggressive always works better with a mild threat or leaving the service

That is not good enough. I see BT engineers in the area all the time. If it is not connected today I will cancel the subscription. I will not return the  2 (!!!!!!) hubs  you have sent or the youview box. If you want them I will leave them by the bins in the car park at some time between the hours of 7am and 1pm or 3pm to 9pm.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:26 pm

Sheeeet. That would have been good.

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Post by Pal Joey Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:28 pm

Got a call from the electricity company saying I owed them from March 2013, which was when I moved house and had settled all accounts before I had left - having been paying them a month in advance.

Some idiot calls 2 days ago and says they have been trying to reach me since Jan 2015! What?... you have had my new details since late March 2013 for the new place. Just before I was about to tell them I was going to "switch to Origin Energy" some minor beaver in Tuscon? or somewhere said I was right, deleted the "bill" and apologised like she really meant it.

I was so close to telling them to "Get stuffed!"

Then she says: "Would you like to stay on the line and tell us if you liked our service and whether the issue was resolved...?" ffs
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