Outrageous Quotes from Coaches

Just trying to lighten things up on here a bit. I'm reading some rugby reports this morning and came across a quote from a French coach that I found amusing. Phil Davies used to come out with some gems but this one is up there for me. Let me know of some gems from coaches you know or have heard from the professional or amateur side of things.

Bordeaux-Begles head coach Raphael Ibanez after the weekends defeat to Exeter Chiefs:  

"At least we tried to pass the ball to each other - which is what I wanted to see."

Ok not rugby its football but little Gordon Strachan was a wit.

After a heavy defeat...
Interviewer "So Gordon where did it all go wrong"
Gordon "That big green thing out there"

Another occasion
Interviewer "Gordon, a quick word?"
Gordon "Velocity" and walked off...

Strachan was absolutely psychotic - He's the master at responding to stupid questions with an insane response - hilarious.

Going back a few years, Rudolf Straeuli said after his teams 53-3 loss something like; ' what, you think our players gave themselves concussion?'. Cue footage of knocks to the head coming from their own teammates.

The Scottish camp pre-WC were maybe taking things a little too serious in the lead up:

Vern Cotter - "There’s a chap who’ll be coming to meet us in France called Eric Blondeau, who has worked in hostage negotiations and with the GIGN, which is the French SAS equivalent,’

Thank God the Scottish changed their minds at the last minute and decided to just play rugby instead.

Sky Sports: Brendan, how disappointed are you?
Brendan Venter: Ja, disappointed. Very disappointed. Very disappointed.
SS: What went wrong? Because you got off to such a wonderful start...
BV: Ja...Interesting.... I wonder what went wrong? Have to think about it..think about it.
SS: Well what did go wrong?
BV: I'll have to look and think about it. Think about it deeply. Very deeply.
SS: Did it hinge in the end on a bit of genius from Sereli Bobo?
BV: Bit of genius. Bit of magic. Serlei Bobo. Very interesting. Very good, ja. Very good. Three cheers for Sereli Bobo. Very good. Very good.
SS: What were you happy with about your side?
BV: Oh happy? Happy? Everything. Everything. Very good. Very happy with my team.
SS: But you didn't win, did you Brendan?
BV: Ja, win. We didn't win. It's true, ja.
SS: Why didn't you win?
BV: Ah, good question that. Very good question. Win. It's important to win, it is important to win. We must try harder, absolutely ja.
SS: So you think it's a lack of effort?
BV: Ah lack of effort, lack of effort. Can't think it's a lack of effort.
SS: So what is it Brendan?
BV: Ah what would it be? Let me think...I'm not sure I'll have to think about that one. Think about it deeply.
SS: Ok thank you Brendan.
BV: Thank you very much.

Not so much a quote as a mini series but gold just the same.

And for those who struggle with reading:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_twJ0hmeDB4

Aukster - I did a send up of that quote on here a few years ago it was a great interview

Venter won that one. I loved it. He was castigated for saying too much (bringing the gyme into disrepute or something smotheringly PC) so he decided to show what life is like for the media when a coach kisses ass and says nothing.

One of my favourite Woodward quotes when he was alongside Alastair Campbell on the Lions tour - We could all smell it Clive - I still think its around mate.


"You know what New Zealand is like, you never beat them, you just score a few more points," he said. "The momentum is building and I can just smell something special is happening here. I get these feelings very few times in my life and something special is happening that's for certain.

Read more: http://www.scotsman.com/sport/more-in-sport/we-re-on-verge-of-something-very-special-roars-lions-woodward-1-1058597#ixzz3sK7nuIhy

Well what do you expect? Campbell was only given seconds to come up with it. He just got it onto the napkin in time for Woodward to read it. Close call.

Fair enough Fly - It could have just been a case of a poor sense of smell -

The Great Aukster wrote:Sky Sports: Brendan, how disappointed are you?
Brendan Venter: Ja, disappointed. Very disappointed. Very disappointed.
SS: What went wrong? Because you got off to such a wonderful start...
BV: Ja...Interesting.... I wonder what went wrong? Have to think about it..think about it.
SS: Well what did go wrong?
BV: I'll have to look and think about it. Think about it deeply. Very deeply.
SS: Did it hinge in the end on a bit of genius from Sereli Bobo?
BV: Bit of genius. Bit of magic. Serlei Bobo. Very interesting. Very good, ja. Very good. Three cheers for Sereli Bobo. Very good. Very good.
SS: What were you happy with about your side?
BV: Oh happy? Happy? Everything. Everything. Very good. Very happy with my team.
SS: But you didn't win, did you Brendan?
BV: Ja, win. We didn't win. It's true, ja.
SS: Why didn't you win?
BV: Ah, good question that. Very good question. Win. It's important to win, it is important to win. We must try harder, absolutely ja.
SS: So you think it's a lack of effort?
BV: Ah lack of effort, lack of effort. Can't think it's a lack of effort.
SS: So what is it Brendan?
BV: Ah what would it be? Let me think...I'm not sure I'll have to think about that one. Think about it deeply.
SS: Ok thank you Brendan.
BV: Thank you very much.

Not so much a quote as a mini series but gold just the same.

Wasn't that a pee take of the Mike Basset (Ricky Tomlinson) England manager and he copied an interview he done in that film, which was hilarious.

Paraphrasing but I remeber Martin Johnson (i think) being asked "What is going through your head at scrum time?" and he responded "my spine"

Not a coach but a team manager. Geoff Evans gave the defining comment of the pre-match press conference in 2003.

"We (Wales) are bigger than New Zealand, we're faster and more skilful," he said, in headlines that quickly screamed across the world.

Result: NZ 34 Wales 9

I've seen a clip, with subtitles, of Freddie Michalak being interviewed after a match. The interviewer is English-speaking, so they're using an interpreter. The last question is so banal that when it's translated into French, Michalak smiles and tells the interpreter that he can't be bothered to answer it, and that he'll have to make something up; with barely a pause, the interpreter give a run-of-the-mill reply, and the interviewer is none the wiser.

I'll see if I can find it on Youtube.

I can only find it without subtitles - maybe whocares could translate?

https://youtu.be/ayATSX8Jg6c

I think that's RTE's Clare McNamara, a cool cookie.

No mention of Scott Johnson? Total pillock but will certainly give some daft quotes...

The Michalak one remind me of Chabal.

Interviewer: 'Can I ask you a question in English?'

Caveman: 'No, we are in France, speak French'. ... 'Ok? Merci'.

Scott Johnson, after outraging New Zealanders by describing their country as “a poxy little island in the Pacific”, he issued an ‘apology’, clarifying his comments by saying: “Sorry, New Zealand is actually two poxy islands in the Pacific.”

Scarpia wrote:Scott Johnson, after outraging New Zealanders by describing their country as “a poxy little island in the Pacific”, he issued an ‘apology’, clarifying his comments by saying: “Sorry, New Zealand is actually two poxy islands in the Pacific.”

I also like his comment about kissing his mother in law after Wales drew with Australia when he was coaching us.