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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 17 Dec 2015, 9:37 am

First topic message reminder :

Jeff's Manbag

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri 08 Jan 2016, 9:39 am

Exactly sean, I will sending positive thoughts, and some rohypnol as well if you want? (I have found DAVE's stash)

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 08 Jan 2016, 9:43 am

The way I see it I don't really have to ask her out because we will already be out, albeit she'll be working. I think I have an advantage as the locals like me in there, they see me working on the ground so I am an accepted outsider and I never sit in their seats.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 08 Jan 2016, 9:52 am

A woman can never resist a man who doesn't sit in the locals' seats.

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Post by Union Cane Fri 08 Jan 2016, 9:53 am

I feel bad for pointing this out but she is paid to be nice to you sean.
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Post by Union Cane Fri 08 Jan 2016, 9:59 am

A bit like the optician bird that obviously fancied you because she stared into your eyes that time...
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Post by seanmichaels Fri 08 Jan 2016, 9:59 am

She's worked there for 8 years, a pub in a very insular village - she'll be yearning to see the outside world. It'll be like an officer and a gentleman except I'll be in my cricket whites.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 08 Jan 2016, 10:00 am

Union Cane wrote:A bit like the optician bird that obviously fancied you because she stared into your eyes that time...

Granted, although that was more me fancying her, I don't think I suggested it was recipricol.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Fri 08 Jan 2016, 10:04 am

sean wrote:I don't think I suggested it was recipricol.

No, it was rohypnol

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Post by Alistair Fri 08 Jan 2016, 10:04 am

seanmichaels wrote:The way I see it I don't really have to ask her out because we will already be out, albeit she'll be working. I think I have an advantage as the locals like me in there, they see me working on the ground so I am an accepted outsider and I never sit in their seats.

You are an embarrassment to all landscape gardeners and men in general.

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Post by Galted Fri 08 Jan 2016, 10:05 am

seanmichaels wrote:She's worked there for 8 years, a pub in a very insular village - she'll be yearning to see the outside world. It'll be like an officer and a gentleman except I'll be in my cricket whites.

Laugh

If she likes cats and angry little bald people feel free to use any of my anecdotes.
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Post by seanmichaels Fri 08 Jan 2016, 10:08 am

Alistair wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:The way I see it I don't really have to ask her out because we will already be out, albeit she'll be working. I think I have an advantage as the locals like me in there, they see me working on the ground so I am an accepted outsider and I never sit in their seats.

You are an embarrassment to all landscape gardeners and men in general.

That's a bit harsh? And I am not a landscape gardener, I am a part time volunteer groundsman.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 08 Jan 2016, 10:11 am

Galted wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:She's worked there for 8 years, a pub in a very insular village - she'll be yearning to see the outside world. It'll be like an officer and a gentleman except I'll be in my cricket whites.

Laugh

If she likes cats and angry little bald people feel free to use any of my anecdotes.

He's got little enough chance as it is.

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Post by Pal Joey Fri 08 Jan 2016, 10:14 am

Found a dead bird out the back this morning. Yellow legs sticking up skywards... cloudy eyes.
After all the rain we've had it probably drowned. How though is a complete mystery.

sean, be sure to leave those grass stains around the groin area on your whites. And wear a lime green bow tie loosely draped around your collar. Barmaids love awkward 80s attire.
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Post by Guest Fri 08 Jan 2016, 10:36 am

Sean, ignore her completely outside of being polite and courteous when ordering your drink. She'll be bemused as to why you aren't hitting on her like all the other cretins she fends off daily. You'll appear enigmatic and she'll go out of the way to strike up conversation.

Obviously once you do start talking to her (boobs, knowing you), it will all fall on its ar$e but, for a few brief moments, you'll think you were in with a chance.

Oh, morning all. Looking forward to being humiliated by Exeter this evening and given the state of our squad, if it gets any worse, I fully expect a call from Jurgen asking to step in.

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Post by Alistair Fri 08 Jan 2016, 10:45 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Alistair wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:The way I see it I don't really have to ask her out because we will already be out, albeit she'll be working. I think I have an advantage as the locals like me in there, they see me working on the ground so I am an accepted outsider and I never sit in their seats.

You are an embarrassment to all landscape gardeners and men in general.

That's a bit harsh? And I am not a landscape gardener, I am a part time volunteer groundsman.

I think it's fair. Most men talk about their qualities, like being funny, sensitive or having a 13" c**k, you're using Geoff and Bernard who like you cause you don't steal their seats and work outside.

You need to up your game, sean. You think you come across as amorous and charming, she thinks you're a bit rapey and is waiting for you to triple team her with Geoff and Bernie.

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:02 am

TLD when I used to work at Easyjet training academy I found a window broken at the top floor so I went to investigate. There was a smattering of blood on the far wall from the window and grey feathers scattered around the area. The f*cker had smashed through double glazed windows and smashed into the wall. So I looked around for it and couldn't find it. Can only conclude that A. He was vapourised or B. The plucky little b*stard had survived and flown off.

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Post by Pal Joey Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:07 am

Had a similar experience to that at my last place. Mentioned it on here.

Actually, there is a hairline crack on one of the new doors. I've been so careful... don't know how it got there. Difficult to blame any of the workers here... didn't see or hear anything. I thought it was a long fine cobweb when I first saw it. No blood or feathers nearby.

The bird was upstairs from this door. Still have a small gap in one area. Maybe it slipped in through there and had a heart attack or something. Whacked it in a bag with a shovel with some left over food scraps... just in case it gets hungry on its journey into the next world. The tip.


Last edited by The Loaded Dog on Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:09 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Alistair Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:08 am

That's very caring, TLD.

Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:10 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:Had a similar experience to that at my last place. Mentioned it on here.

Actually, there is a hairline crack on one of the new doors. I've been so careful... don't know how it got there. Difficult to blame any of the workers here... didn't see or hear anything. I thought it was a long fine cobweb when I first saw it. No blood or feathers nearby.

The bird was upstairs from this door. Still have a small gap in one area. Maybe it slipped in through there and had a heart attack or something. Whacked it in a bag with a shovel with some left over food scraps... just in case it gets hungry on its journey into the next world.

It will probably be reincarnated as Tino.

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:10 am

Alistair wrote:That's very caring, TLD.

Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

No. Unless you're tophat.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:11 am

That's just materials....

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:13 am

No. Just a coat of paint.

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Post by Pal Joey Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:14 am

Alistair wrote:That's very caring, TLD.

Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Ask Jules but I think Prince spent more on a coat on several occasions since the 80s. I say why not.
You're getting a blast of cold now aren't you... or is that further east on the continent at the moment?
Saw London has had sort of mild weather recently... not below freezing... which is a bit unusual, no?
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Post by ShahenshahG Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:16 am

It has been unseasonably warm but is f*cking chilly today.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:18 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:
Alistair wrote:That's very caring, TLD.

Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Ask Jules but I think Prince spent more on a coat on several occasions since the 80s. I say why not.
You're getting a blast of cold now aren't you... or is that further east on the continent at the moment?
Saw London has had sort of mild weather recently... not below freezing... which is a bit unusual, no?

It's not acceptable unless you're Prince.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:18 am

It has been ridiculously warm, 17 degrees just before Xmas. Blast coming in over weekend I think, possibility of snow next week. Colder already though, definitely noticed it in the flat last night. I have 3.5m high ceilings which means it is a bugger to heat up

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Post by Pal Joey Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:18 am

ShahenshahG wrote:No. Just a coat of paint.

Funnily enough I spent about 900 Oz... roughly 450 quid on a coat of paint. 40 litres spread quite thin.
2.16 km of cedar planks (coated both sides) 133mm wide. Took forever without that Nepalese bloke to help. He did about 40, I did the other 290.
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Post by ShahenshahG Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:23 am

Wtf were you painting? 2.16 km! Tinos restraining order against his son is smaller than that!

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Post by superflyweight Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:24 am

It's not bloody acceptable to spend £250 on a coat. Instant dismissal from the Culture Cup if you do. In fact, all purchases above £10 should have to be approved by a committee comprising of Dave and Jeff.

Sean - having spent a lot of time working in bars, don't waste your time - bar maids only shag bar men (or maybe it was just me).

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:24 am

Alistair wrote:
Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Let's see it then. Some pretty smart dressers in the culture cup circles.

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Post by superflyweight Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:25 am

TLD - waiting for my daughter to finish her gymnastics class at the local leisure centre and Land Down Under being played over the tannoy. Lovely stuff.

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Post by seanmichaels Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:26 am

superflyweight wrote:
Sean - having spent a lot of time working in bars, don't waste your time - bar maids only shag bar men (or maybe it was just me).

I have done 3 in my time. One at the old work bar. Lucky escape with her, she was trying to snag a baby and got the bloke after me.

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Post by Pal Joey Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:35 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Wtf were you painting? 2.16 km! Tinos restraining order against his son is smaller than that!

Timber planks. Nearly killed me. They vary between 2.7m and 5.7m long... lots of sizes in between.

Got heat stoke 3 times. It was around 38-40 degs on a few days. Drank gallons of water, wore a hat, put on the sunscreen. Felt OK from about 8am -10am... then it just got too phucking hot. Yet I kept going till about 11:30am on each occasion.

The heat stroke kicks in when the sun goes down. Heat pours out of you, a mild uncomfortable headache... not to mention sore legs and arms.
My feet have a v-shaped white mark where the flip flop straps were. The rest of me is pure nunga (aboriginal). I feel black again.
The missus couldn't stop laughing at my "healthy" complexion but she likes the white t-shirt contrast. Well, bloody good for her I say! The nut.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:37 am

superflyweight wrote:TLD - waiting for my daughter to finish her gymnastics class at the local leisure centre and Land Down Under being played over the tannoy.  Lovely stuff.  

Vegemite sandwich - 6/10.

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Post by Pal Joey Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:39 am

superflyweight wrote:TLD - waiting for my daughter to finish her gymnastics class at the local leisure centre and Land Down Under being played over the tannoy.  Lovely stuff.  

My favourite is It's a Mistake. Land Down Under gets too much overkill here... and abroad.

Stevie Wright's funeral was held today. They went out of their way to portray him as a family man. Nice gesture. He really was a wild one.
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Post by Alistair Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:41 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Let's see it then. Some pretty smart dressers in the culture cup circles.

http://www.superdry.com/mens/jackets/details/58877/director-trench-coat

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:42 am

Alistair wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Let's see it then. Some pretty smart dressers in the culture cup circles.

http://www.superdry.com/mens/jackets/details/58877/director-trench-coat

I like that.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:43 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Let's see it then. Some pretty smart dressers in the culture cup circles.

http://www.superdry.com/mens/jackets/details/58877/director-trench-coat

I like that.

Not sure about the back though.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:44 am

Alistair wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Let's see it then. Some pretty smart dressers in the culture cup circles.

http://www.superdry.com/mens/jackets/details/58877/director-trench-coat

Given that the male model, who is paid to look good in clothes, looks like a tw@t in it, I think it's unlikely you'll fare any better Alistair.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:45 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Alistair wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Let's see it then. Some pretty smart dressers in the culture cup circles.

http://www.superdry.com/mens/jackets/details/58877/director-trench-coat

Given that the male model, who is paid to look good in clothes, looks like a tw@t in it, I think it's unlikely you'll fare any better Alistair.

It ain't no smoking jacket, that's for sure.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Alistair Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:46 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Let's see it then. Some pretty smart dressers in the culture cup circles.

http://www.superdry.com/mens/jackets/details/58877/director-trench-coat

I like that.

Not sure about the back though.

Yeah, that's the one thing i'm not keen on. I think you can pull it round the front, which might stop it flapping around at the back.

Thanks, Jules.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:49 am

You should be aiming for something along these lines
http://cdn.styleforum.net/5/59/350x700px-LL-59c73e05_Ingemar2012-06-166.jpeg

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Post by Galted Fri 08 Jan 2016, 11:55 am

superflyweight wrote:It's not bloody acceptable to spend £250 on a coat.  Instant dismissal from the Culture Cup if you do.  In fact, all purchases above £10 should have to be approved by a committee comprising of Dave and Jeff.  

Sean - having spent a lot of time working in bars, don't waste your time - bar maids only shag bar men (or maybe it was just me).

You used to shag bar men?
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Post by Alistair Fri 08 Jan 2016, 12:01 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:You should be aiming for something along these lines
http://cdn.styleforum.net/5/59/350x700px-LL-59c73e05_Ingemar2012-06-166.jpeg

That's kind of what i imagine Rowley looks like.

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Post by Guest Fri 08 Jan 2016, 12:10 pm

I'd pay £250 for a coat that either hides or repels bloodstains...what I mean is I'd be prepared to kill the person who owns one and take it from them

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 08 Jan 2016, 12:21 pm

Alistair wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:You should be aiming for something along these lines
http://cdn.styleforum.net/5/59/350x700px-LL-59c73e05_Ingemar2012-06-166.jpeg

That's kind of what i imagine Rowley looks like.

Jules's first ever selfie.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Rowley Fri 08 Jan 2016, 12:22 pm

Alistair wrote:

Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Yes, spend what you want. It's your money. Why would you give a flying feck what other people think of how you spend your money. Also go cheap and you can end up in Tech By Tumi. Worth spending a couple of quid if you can avoid that.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 08 Jan 2016, 12:24 pm

Rowley wrote:
Alistair wrote:

Question, as a male, is it acceptable to spend £250 on a coat?

Yes, spend what you want. It's your money. Why would you give a flying feck what other people think of how you spend your money. Also go cheap and you can end up in Tech By Tumi. Worth spending a couple of quid if you can avoid that.

And Jack Wolfskin. Avoid that sh*te unless you want to look like intrepid adventurer, Ray Mears.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Rowley Fri 08 Jan 2016, 12:27 pm

I do like to think certain things go without saying Tina.

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Post by superflyweight Fri 08 Jan 2016, 12:42 pm

Galted wrote:
superflyweight wrote:It's not bloody acceptable to spend £250 on a coat.  Instant dismissal from the Culture Cup if you do.  In fact, all purchases above £10 should have to be approved by a committee comprising of Dave and Jeff.  

Sean - having spent a lot of time working in bars, don't waste your time - bar maids only shag bar men (or maybe it was just me).

You used to shag bar men?

I liked to do it round the back.

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