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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by ShahenshahG Mon 11 Jan 2016, 10:59 am

First topic message reminder :

JuliusHMarx wrote:Angelo was Brotherhood of Man, not ABBA.


"Angelo" and "Fernando" they sang both of them but this f*cking thing must be defective

And No TLD the problem is with our computers it seems. I.T. are running around like headless infidels.

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Post by Guest Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:30 pm

Perhaps the only issue Tina and I disagree on...other than me storing dead hookers in his garage

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:32 pm

Hugh Jarce.

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:36 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Nesbitt is sh!te...plays himself in everything and unfortunately he's an unbearably smug c*nt who ruins everything he's in.

My disappointment at him not dying during the Hobbit (either in the film itself or during filming) has saddened me immeasurably. Even his hilarious new hair doesn't make up for him being an irritant of some note.

Hugh Jackman is good though. And a thoroughly nice gent to boot.

With excellent sunglass etiquette

Indeed. His future's so bright he has to wear shades.

While he's sipping his tea from Tino's silverware.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:37 pm

DAVE667 wrote:Perhaps the only issue Tina and I disagree on...other than me storing dead hookers in his garage

He wears sunglasses indoors, Serial. At night. At f*cking night time. For the f*cking sake of f*ck. Who does that? At f*cking night. What a massive b*llend.

And he swears loudly in the company of children. F*cking tw*t.

We can't disagree on this. I am definitely right on this issue.

He is a c*nting c*nt.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:45 pm

Perhaps he has glaucoma?

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:45 pm

And tourettes.

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:46 pm

You could be being spazist?

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:46 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Perhaps the only issue Tina and I disagree on...other than me storing dead hookers in his garage

He wears sunglasses indoors, Serial.  At night.  At f*cking night time.  For the f*cking sake of f*ck.  Who does that?  At f*cking night.  What a massive b*llend.

And he swears loudly in the company of children.  F*cking tw*t.

We can't disagree on this.  I am definitely right on this issue.

He is a c*nting c*nt.

Are you sure he didn't pick it up from junior

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:47 pm

seanmichaels wrote:And tourettes.

Why come out into the plebs lounge when you're clearly flying 1st class then?

Explain that away, Ironside.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:50 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:And tourettes.

Why come out into the plebs lounge when you're clearly flying 1st class then?

Explain that away, Ironside.

He misread the sign because of his sunglasses and glaucoma.

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:51 pm

Laugh Outsmarted by Michaels. Julius - quickly mobilize the samaritans

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:52 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:And tourettes.

Why come out into the plebs lounge when you're clearly flying 1st class then?

Explain that away, Ironside.

He misread the sign because of his sunglasses and glaucoma.

Fair observation.

But unless someone can provide me with irrefutable proof of his ailment, then I am sticking to my original assessment.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Guest Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:53 pm

Maybe he's a man of the people and knows that after a two week holiday, parents are sick to death of their kids and could cheerfully kill them (maybe that's just me) so as an act of kindness, Hugh comes out to plebville in his shades, swears a bit and distracts the parents from wanting to batter their kids to death by having them turn their displeasure to him. ...he's probably just thinking of the children (in a non-Jimmy Savile way obviously)

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Post by Guest Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:55 pm

He could also have been auditioning for the part of Stevie Wonder in the latest Hollywood blockbuster, "Jay and Silent Bob and Stevie Wonder Strike Back...again!"

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:55 pm

Maybe he is just a c*nt.  A pretentious, precious, smug c*nt.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Union Cane Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:57 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:And tourettes.

Why come out into the plebs lounge when you're clearly flying 1st class then?

Explain that away, Ironside.

He misread the sign because of his sunglasses and glaucoma.

Fair observation.

But unless someone can provide me with irrefutable proof of his ailment, then I am sticking to my original assessment.  

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-76455/Ray-hope-glaucoma-sufferers.html

Clearly, due in part to his glaucoma, Jackman mis-read the headline as 'Ray-Bans offer hope for glaucoma sufferers'
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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:57 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Maybe he is just a c*nt.  A pretentious, precious, smug c*nt.

Tino going rabid over Wolverine


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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:58 pm

Union Cane wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:And tourettes.

Why come out into the plebs lounge when you're clearly flying 1st class then?

Explain that away, Ironside.

He misread the sign because of his sunglasses and glaucoma.

Fair observation.

But unless someone can provide me with irrefutable proof of his ailment, then I am sticking to my original assessment.  

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-76455/Ray-hope-glaucoma-sufferers.html

Clearly, due in part to his glaucoma, Jackman mis-read the headline as 'Ray-Bans offer hope for glaucoma sufferers'

laughing laughing

Tino's options getting smaller and smaller.

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Post by Guest Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:58 pm

Union Cane wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:And tourettes.

Why come out into the plebs lounge when you're clearly flying 1st class then?

Explain that away, Ironside.

He misread the sign because of his sunglasses and glaucoma.

Fair observation.

But unless someone can provide me with irrefutable proof of his ailment, then I am sticking to my original assessment.  

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-76455/Ray-hope-glaucoma-sufferers.html

Clearly, due in part to his glaucoma, Jackman mis-read the headline as 'Ray-Bans offer hope for glaucoma sufferers'
Obviously read it when he wasn't wearing sunglasses

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:58 pm

Union Cane wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:And tourettes.

Why come out into the plebs lounge when you're clearly flying 1st class then?

Explain that away, Ironside.

He misread the sign because of his sunglasses and glaucoma.

Fair observation.

But unless someone can provide me with irrefutable proof of his ailment, then I am sticking to my original assessment.  

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-76455/Ray-hope-glaucoma-sufferers.html

Clearly, due in part to his glaucoma, Jackman mis-read the headline as 'Ray-Bans offer hope for glaucoma sufferers'

Decent effort but not good enough.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 12 Jan 2016, 3:59 pm

Very few things in life really upset me, but Hugh Jackman is one of them.


Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 12 Jan 2016, 4:04 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Very few things in life really upset me, but Hugh Jackman is one of them.


Is it because he can skin a bear with his bare hands?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 12 Jan 2016, 4:05 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Very few things in life really upset me, but Hugh Jackman is one of them.


Is it because he can skin a bear with his bare hands?

He couldn't skin a rice pudding.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 12 Jan 2016, 4:06 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbLVEHMswD4

This'll cheer you up

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Post by Galted Tue 12 Jan 2016, 8:54 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Perhaps the only issue Tina and I disagree on...other than me storing dead hookers in his garage

He wears sunglasses indoors, Serial.  At night.  At f*cking night time.  For the f*cking sake of f*ck.  Who does that?  At f*cking night.  What a massive b*llend.

And he swears loudly in the company of children.  F*cking tw*t.

We can't disagree on this.  I am definitely right on this issue.

He is a c*nting c*nt.

Have you ever been on the "...is a c*nt" website?  It's brilliant, you can nominate anything that annoys you for a good c*nting and if they like it it'll be the article of the day.  I tried to get QI on there but wasn't successful.

When I can put my hatred of Will Ferrell into words it's getting a nomination.


Last edited by Galted on Tue 12 Jan 2016, 8:55 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Will Ferrell and Jack Whitehall are both huge cunts.)
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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 13 Jan 2016, 6:27 am

Since the moment I spotted you
Like walkin' 'round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies, and it's alright

Bouncing 'round from cloud to cloud
I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied
It turns out that everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together
An' take on the world, we'll be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again

So I say why don't you and I hold each other
Fly to the moon and straight on to heaven
'Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

When's this fever gonna break?
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasin' you 'round, and it's alright

Bouncin' 'round from cloud to cloud
I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied
It turns out that everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together
An' take on the world, we'll be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again

So I say why don't you and I hold each other
Fly to the moon and straight on to heaven
'Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

Slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end
But about the same time you walk by
And I say "Oh here we go again, oh"

Every time I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied
It turns out that everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together
An' take on the world, we'll be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again

So I say why don't you and I hold each other
Fly to the moon and straight on to heaven
'Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

So I'll say why don't you and I get together
An' take on the world, we'll be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again

So I say why don't you and I hold each other
Fly to the moon and straight on to heaven
'Cause without you they're never gonna let me in


FIST BITCHES

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 13 Jan 2016, 6:48 am

Morning Shah how is life with the pagan gods?

Back to fecking rain here again goddammit

Sick

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 13 Jan 2016, 6:54 am

Morning Rick the Flick. The lovely adele is no pagan. But life is good. Rain here too - just a bit but prefer it to the bitter wind. My energy levels will drain out tomorrow if my colleague doesn't turn up this evening too. Finished at 10pm last night and looking at a potential midnight finish tonight. God have mercehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. How goes the countdown?

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 13 Jan 2016, 6:57 am

She aint no vegan either...

That's a lot of work, but think of the monies, that you can spend on your loving family, or a divorce lawyer for your mate!

Countdown is going well, I have started to hand over to folk, it feels like stage 2 of a 7 stage plan, and the graph of x-axis = time left and y-axis amount of F**ks I give, is going down rapidly now...

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 13 Jan 2016, 7:07 am

rick_dagless wrote:She aint no vegan either...

That's a lot of work, but think of the monies, that you can spend on your loving family, or a divorce lawyer for your mate!

Countdown is going well, I have started to hand over to folk, it feels like stage 2 of a 7 stage plan, and the graph of x-axis = time left and y-axis amount of F**ks I give, is going down rapidly now...

Thank the good lord, she's a hefty girl (god she's sexy) and combined with my diet the room would be like a gas chamber each time we do a sex (9 and a half times a day)

Not too worried about it, but the corporate HR director has noted that i'm always in and might decide to close the building early so I can get some rest. If that happens the sh*t will hit the fan with Securitas who are the contractors for Security/H&S/Reception and my direct employers.

I envy you your countdown enormously Rick.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 13 Jan 2016, 7:09 am

Can the HR director even make that call? I guess the building must be open for a reason?

But hey ho at least it is not an argument you need to have...

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 13 Jan 2016, 7:23 am

She's not only the HR director, she's building manager at the top level although she usually delegates to someone else. Her and the HR team are all pretty cool which seems to be a rarity in HR worldwide. The building is a corporate office - marketing for a medical company, and it's usually open because of it's worldwide connections. Headache but pays the bills and leaves me a fair amount left over despite the cigs and the takeaways. True but could result in another employer and I'd rather stick with the devil I know.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 13 Jan 2016, 7:29 am

Ah, fair enough, and yep, HR are usually a bunch of jebends so it is nice to get some who give a feck!

I always think that once the job becomes more of a pain than general ambivalence then time to move on hence my current move, I always got told that you should work in about 3 year cycles, 1 year to learn the job properly, 1 year to do the job properly, and 1 year to get out... But I know your point,

My new role is based in Derby but thankfully have offices this way, don't want to give up my Man of th North card like Tino...

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 13 Jan 2016, 7:47 am

Aye I'd like that but never could stomach formal education so had no qualifications in anything that could provide for 8 (soon to be 9) . Would have liked a apprenticeship but too much obligation now to countenance it. Going to try and get the diplomas in health and safety and get a job in t city next year but for now stability is the requirement.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:05 am

ShahenshahG wrote:get a job in t city next year

It's full of T*pH*ts, Shah. Save your soul and don't bother.

Although I'll happily meet you for a bucket of KFC if you do come here.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:10 am

Fair point mate, but you will have yourself a harem, so...

When is 9 due? Is that what you are naming it? Naming convention seems to be the norm

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:15 am

Morning.

I was planning on doing an electrical apprenticeship then starting up a lawns and outdoor lighting business. Can't afford the wage drop now though.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:23 am

I see parliament are discussing an English national anthem today. I reckon it should be 'I vow to thee my country'. Always used to kick off in assembly at school when that was sung.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:23 am

rick_dagless wrote: Man of th North card like Tino...

I'll never give it up, rICk. I've found that the longer I spend down here, the more I sound like John Bishop. I'm clinging on mate, clinging on for dear life.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:26 am

sean wrote:I see parliament are discussing an English national anthem today. I reckon it should be 'I vow to thee my country'. Always used to kick off in assembly at school when that was sung.

It should just be Vindaloo...

Tino wrote:I'll never give it up, rICk. I've found that the longer I spend down here, the more I sound like John Bishop. I'm clinging on mate, clinging on for dear life.

Good man, I only provoke you to keep the fires burning mate... There will forever be a space for you in the metaphorical floatel

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Post by Adam D Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:28 am

Anyone watch Derren Brown last night attempt to ruin someones life?  Laugh

Thought it was brilliant.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:28 am

Due in May rick, First born son if all goes well - the wife is picking out names and is changing her mind every 5 minutes so business as usual.

Oh I know tino, but Health and safety stuff usually means I don't talk to those people and just offer guidelines to prevent negligence lawsuits and lower days off through sickness/injury. Probably not KFC, I will however treat you to a marvelous Kebab shop in central london if I ever remember the name of the shop.

Sean, are there no funded ones?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:30 am

rick_dagless wrote:
sean wrote:I see parliament are discussing an English national anthem today. I reckon it should be 'I vow to thee my country'. Always used to kick off in assembly at school when that was sung.

It should just be Vindaloo...

Tino wrote:I'll never give it up, rICk. I've found that the longer I spend down here, the more I sound like John Bishop. I'm clinging on mate, clinging on for dear life.

Good man, I only provoke you to keep the fires burning mate...  There will forever be a space for you in the metaphorical floatel

Save me a space on the dance floor at the metaphorical View as well. I'll get us a couple of Smirnoff Ices in.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:31 am

Adam D wrote:Anyone watch Derren Brown last night attempt to ruin someones life?  Laugh

Thought it was brilliant.

I didn't see it Adam. Although I did read his autobiography on a flight once. He is an interesting chap.

What was it called, I may try and find it.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:34 am

Nice one Shah may the shadows of your children forever grow long in the fields!

You should encourage more lawsuits Shah, keeps us dishonest scum in cocaine!

I'm on it Tino, chav scouse house bangin choonz on the one's and two's as well

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Post by Adam D Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:34 am

"Pushed to the Edge". It was a cross between Weekend at Bernies and getting members of the public to commit murder!

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:36 am

Adam D wrote:"Pushed to the Edge". It was a cross between Weekend at Bernies and getting members of the public to commit murder!

Thanks. Sounds right up my street. I'll have a look.

Lets hope he never meets Serial. He wouldn't need any encouragement to commit murder.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:36 am

ShahenshahG wrote:

Sean, are there no funded ones?

I think you work as you learn for most sparky apprenticeships. But it would be something like £17k a year. My rent alone is £775

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 13 Jan 2016, 8:54 am

That is f*cked. Get a single room till you're qualified.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 13 Jan 2016, 9:25 am

Michaelsed by advice to michaels.

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