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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by Alistair Wed 27 Apr 2016, 2:43 pm

First topic message reminder :

Great idea, Rick. Like windscreen wipers on a duck's butt.


Last edited by Alistair on Wed 27 Apr 2016, 2:57 pm; edited 2 times in total

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Post by Rowley Wed 04 May 2016, 12:25 pm

Nice to see Rotherham not making the list, guess we are all too busy noncing kids up.

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 12:27 pm

Priorities and all that, Rowley.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 12:37 pm

If you had to choose, would you rather slip it to a living animal or a dead person?

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 12:39 pm

How long have they been dead?

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 04 May 2016, 12:39 pm

How hot is the animal?

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 04 May 2016, 12:41 pm

Alistair wrote:More money to waste on take-away, Rick.

That's an awful lot of quinoa and cereal served in a cereal café though 'stair...

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 12:42 pm

Recently dead (pre-rigor) and your choice on the animal.

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 12:42 pm

Quinoa is such a pointless 'food'. There's a youtube advert with some bloke making a dish with Uncle Bens rice and quinoa, he sounds like he has a cold and it annoys the p*ss out of me.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 04 May 2016, 12:44 pm

Dead...

Seen some pretty hot vampires so I will go for that.

Quinoa is not even nice... it needs to get in the F***ing sea

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 12:47 pm

Yes, I would go with dead.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 12:49 pm

Alistair wrote:Yes, I would go with dead.

I think I would as well.

I could probably get it up for a female gorilla or a maybe a large cat but not much else.

I don't think I'd have any problems with a deadie.

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 12:51 pm

One caveat, what is the cause of death? Gonna struggle to get it up for someone whose had their face mangled by a car tyre or had their chest stabbed 47 times (DAVE).

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 12:59 pm

Alistair wrote:One caveat, what is the cause of death? Gonna struggle to get it up for someone whose had their face mangled by a car tyre or had their chest stabbed 47 times (DAVE).

Didn't think of that. They just died. Not physical mutilation.

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 1:00 pm

So, wake up next to your wife/girlfriend, she's dead but still warm?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 1:03 pm

Alistair wrote:So, wake up next to your wife/girlfriend, she's dead but still warm?

I was thinking more like someone who has keys to a morgue (DAVE) letting you in if you slip him a fiver and a signed copy of Reign in Blood.

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 1:04 pm

Will there be a price list?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 1:07 pm

Alistair wrote:Will there be a price list?

It will be a bit like a tombola. You pay DAVE to get in, then you open a draw and whatever comes out is yours for an hour.


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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 1:14 pm

I see, seems like a fair deal.

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Post by Rowley Wed 04 May 2016, 1:17 pm

I'd shag a polar bear. If you're going to have to do something like this at least make a statement with it. Making a polar bear your bitch is quite the statement.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 04 May 2016, 1:25 pm

Afternoon gents, good to see we are not letting the standards slip around here.

Sounds like a drunken conversation I had with a mate once, which divided the whole pub.

It kind of went: " if you had to shag a fox (the animal not a foxy lady) would it matter if it was male or female?"

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 1:38 pm

Rowley wrote:I'd shag a polar bear. If you're going to have to do something like this at least make a statement with it. Making a polar bear your bitch is quite the statement.

I would as well.

Any kind of bear actually. Especially a panda.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 04 May 2016, 1:40 pm

What about Bear Grylls?

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 1:43 pm

If you're going down that route, what about face f**cking a cobra?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 1:48 pm

Alistair wrote:If you're going down that route, what about face f**cking a cobra?

For the sake of f*ck, Alistair. I'm not a monster.

No, riCK. No I would not. I'd do Galted Ray Mears though.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 04 May 2016, 1:54 pm

Could go for a reach around from a spider monkey...

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Post by superflyweight Wed 04 May 2016, 1:56 pm

Has the dead person died of AIDS?

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 1:58 pm

Or use the pincers of a Scorpion to knock one out?

Good point, Super.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 04 May 2016, 1:59 pm

superflyweight wrote:Has the dead person died of AIDS?  

Good AIDS or Bad AIDS?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 2:14 pm

rick_dagless wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Has the dead person died of AIDS?  

Good AIDS or Bad AIDS?

Good AIDS. Not the AIDS that bummers get.

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 2:40 pm

So Tom Hanks AIDS?

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 04 May 2016, 2:40 pm

Hmm, are we allowed to shave the primate? A blowhole would be quite tactile as well...

I see that SERIAL has jumped on Jeff's populist "Brook" thread bandwagon...

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 2:47 pm

Alistair wrote:So Tom Hanks AIDS?

Yes, or Magic Johnson.

Definitely not Kenny Everett AIDS.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 3:19 pm

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-3573009/Baffled-diners-share-hilarious-photos-restaurant-meals-served-bricks-shopping-trolleys-PIPES.html

Just for you, RICk.

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 3:22 pm

What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 3:31 pm

Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.

Over to the rest of you.

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Post by Rowley Wed 04 May 2016, 3:35 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Hmm, are we allowed to shave the primate?  A blowhole would be quite tactile as well...

I see that SERIAL has jumped on Jeff's populist "Brook" thread bandwagon...

I'm glad somebody noticed that Rick. Start preparing a case, we're suing.

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 3:39 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.  

Over to the rest of you.

You've created more debate. May I state that it's more debate than your 'Insect Facts'.

Granted, it's nowhere near as tasteful, informative and fascinating, but still.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 3:42 pm

Alistair wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.  

Over to the rest of you.

You've created more debate. May I state that it's more debate than your 'Insect Facts'.

Granted, it's nowhere near as tasteful, informative and fascinating, but still.

'Bug' facts, Alistair. Jules and Ray Mears get very upset if we call it 'insect' facts.

So, what animal are you going for?

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 3:48 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.  

Over to the rest of you.

You've created more debate. May I state that it's more debate than your 'Insect Facts'.

Granted, it's nowhere near as tasteful, informative and fascinating, but still.

'Bug' facts, Alistair.  Jules and Ray Mears get very upset if we call it 'insect' facts.

So, what animal are you going for?

I feel I should stick to face f**king a Cobra, but it doesn't seem as dangerous or cool as your choices. Might need some more thought.

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Post by superflyweight Wed 04 May 2016, 3:51 pm

Will the animal have AIDS?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 3:51 pm

Alistair wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.  

Over to the rest of you.

You've created more debate. May I state that it's more debate than your 'Insect Facts'.

Granted, it's nowhere near as tasteful, informative and fascinating, but still.

'Bug' facts, Alistair.  Jules and Ray Mears get very upset if we call it 'insect' facts.

So, what animal are you going for?

I feel I should stick to face f**king a Cobra, but it doesn't seem as dangerous or cool as your choices. Might need some more thought.

I'd say sticking your knob in a cobra is pretty dangerous.

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 3:52 pm

l*l

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 3:52 pm

superflyweight wrote:Will the animal have AIDS?

No. No good or bad AIDS.

Just normal, disease free animals.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 3:53 pm

Alistair wrote:l*l

Please don't encourage him.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Adam D Wed 04 May 2016, 3:55 pm

I will go for a deer.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 04 May 2016, 3:56 pm

Adam D wrote:I will go for a deer.

Muntjac?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 04 May 2016, 3:56 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.  

Over to the rest of you.

You've created more debate. May I state that it's more debate than your 'Insect Facts'.

Granted, it's nowhere near as tasteful, informative and fascinating, but still.

'Bug' facts, Alistair.  Jules and Ray Mears get very upset if we call it 'insect' facts.

So, what animal are you going for?

I feel I should stick to face f**king a Cobra, but it doesn't seem as dangerous or cool as your choices. Might need some more thought.

I'd say sticking your knob in a cobra is pretty dangerous.

Unless it's a spitting cobra.

I'd face f*ck a great white so I could recreate the death of Jaws every time I ejaculate

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 3:59 pm

Adam D wrote:I will go for a deer.

You want to have animal sex with Bambi?

This is why people ignore you. There's a line, Adam.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 04 May 2016, 4:03 pm

Alistair wrote:
Adam D wrote:I will go for a deer.

You want to have animal sex with Bambi?

This is why people ignore you. There's a line, Adam.

It's the only way he can claim to have shagged something so hard it had troubling getting to it's feet afterwards

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Post by Alistair Wed 04 May 2016, 4:05 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Adam D wrote:I will go for a deer.

You want to have animal sex with Bambi?

This is why people ignore you. There's a line, Adam.

It's the only way he can claim to have shagged something so hard it had troubling getting to it's feet afterwards

He could just let the air out of his inflatable.

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