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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 25 May 2016, 10:50 pm

First topic message reminder :

Dad passed away yesterday. Mowing a lawn at the time. Spent some time with him and very peaceful.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 08 Jun 2016, 7:15 am

Morning shah. Hot work out there. When humid in this fair country of ours, it can be quite debilitating. Not the kind of weather to go down on a fat bird as well.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 08 Jun 2016, 7:16 am

It'd be like apple bobbing in curdled milk.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 08 Jun 2016, 7:28 am

Morning Rick and Sean. All good thanks, getting a little irritated already at the humidity. Hoping for one more thunderstorm to clear it all out.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 8:16 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Rick and Sean. All good thanks, getting a little irritated already at the humidity. Hoping for one more thunderstorm to clear it all out.

And you call me a poof. Get a f*cking grip you pansy. It isn't that bloody humid. You should try Asia for humidity.

Wind your neck in.

Good morning.

The world’s smallest winged insect, the Tanzanian parasitic wasp, is smaller than the eye of a housefly.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 08 Jun 2016, 8:16 am

Morning sean/Tino

Last day in for a few days for me, so naturally everyone has stored up all the extra specially stupid requests...

People seem to panic ask, in the same way that idiots panic buy a gallon of milk because the shops are shut on Christmas day... Cretins.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 8:19 am

rick_dagless wrote:Morning sean/Tino

Last day in for a few days for me, so naturally everyone has stored up all the extra specially stupid requests...

People seem to panic ask, in the same way that idiots panic buy a gallon of milk because the shops are shut on Christmas day... Cretins.

Not a problem in our village, riCK. Mr Dharmesena & Sons open in the morning on Christmas day. He is a cracking bloke is Mr Dharmesena. I hope he is still this nice when my kids start shoplifting.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 08 Jun 2016, 8:24 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Rick and Sean. All good thanks, getting a little irritated already at the humidity. Hoping for one more thunderstorm to clear it all out.

And you call me a poof.  Get a f*cking grip you pansy.  It isn't that bloody humid.  You should try Asia for humidity.

Wind your neck in.

Good morning.

The world’s smallest winged insect, the Tanzanian parasitic wasp, is smaller than the eye of a housefly.

A. I called it a little irritating. I didn't curl up into a ball and cry for my mummy as you are wont to do. It's a perfectly proportionate response to a mild irritation.

B. But bigger than your testicles because the wasp exists.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 8:25 am

Pansy.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Wed 08 Jun 2016, 8:30 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Rick and Sean. All good thanks, getting a little irritated already at the humidity. Hoping for one more thunderstorm to clear it all out.

And you call me a poof.  Get a f*cking grip you pansy.  It isn't that bloody humid.  You should try Asia for humidity.

Wind your neck in.

Good morning.

The world’s smallest winged insect, the Tanzanian parasitic wasp, is smaller than the eye of a housefly.

A. I called it a little irritating. I didn't curl up into a ball and cry for my mummy as you are wont to do. It's a perfectly proportionate response to a mild irritation.

B. But bigger than your testicles because the wasp exists.

Nice use of 'wont'.

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Post by Rowley Wed 08 Jun 2016, 8:39 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Morning sean/Tino

Last day in for a few days for me, so naturally everyone has stored up all the extra specially stupid requests...

People seem to panic ask, in the same way that idiots panic buy a gallon of milk because the shops are shut on Christmas day... Cretins.

Not a problem in our village, riCK.  Mr Dharmesena & Sons open in the morning on Christmas day.  He is a cracking bloke is Mr Dharmesena.  I hope he is still this nice when my kids start shoplifting.  

Or when the Kippers finally snap and try and burn him alive.

https://youtu.be/WcF8Aos4XDA

Morning.


Last edited by Rowley on Wed 08 Jun 2016, 8:44 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Fucking predictive text on spelling mistakes.)

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 08 Jun 2016, 8:51 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Pansy.

Says the man who wears PPE in his own house and won't enter his son's bedroom without a permit from his wife.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 08 Jun 2016, 8:59 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Rick and Sean. All good thanks, getting a little irritated already at the humidity. Hoping for one more thunderstorm to clear it all out.

And you call me a poof.  Get a f*cking grip you pansy.  It isn't that bloody humid.  You should try Asia for humidity.

Wind your neck in.

Good morning.

The world’s smallest winged insect, the Tanzanian parasitic wasp, is smaller than the eye of a housefly.

A. I called it a little irritating. I didn't curl up into a ball and cry for my mummy as you are wont to do. It's a perfectly proportionate response to a mild irritation.

B. But bigger than your testicles because the wasp exists.

Nice use of 'wont'.

Morning Jules, Thank you kindly.

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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 9:02 am

Morning homogoblins,

Indeed it's very warm and sticky out (so I'll put my c*ck away.....fnarrr)

Cooled down a tad last night so decided to go for a run anticipating a slight shower but no, it was hotter than two angry rats f*cking in a woollen sock and at one stage my lungs were begging me to sack the whole thing off and call for a taxi back home (pansies)

It's evident that Shah's extra bulk is causing his already overloaded frame to heat up to such a degree that he's becoming more aggressive than usual. I predict tears before bedtime.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 9:05 am

DAVE667 wrote:than two angry rats f*cking in a woollen sock

l*l

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 9:12 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:than two angry rats f*cking in a woollen sock

l*l
Nicked it from the write Joe Lansdale whose use of language is just a marvel. Check out his books and the series "Hap and Leonard" that's just been shown on tv. The Hap and Leonard books are some of my all-time favourites.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 9:21 am

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:than two angry rats f*cking in a woollen sock

l*l
Nicked it from the write Joe Lansdale whose use of language is just a marvel. Check out his books and the series "Hap and Leonard" that's just been shown on tv. The Hap and Leonard books are some of my all-time favourites.

If they don't involve insects or either of the two world wars I am very unlikely to read them, Serial.

I'll have to rely on you to quote him periodically.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 08 Jun 2016, 9:24 am

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:than two angry rats f*cking in a woollen sock

l*l
Nicked it from the write Joe Lansdale whose use of language is just a marvel. Check out his books and the series "Hap and Leonard" that's just been shown on tv. The Hap and Leonard books are some of my all-time favourites.

As opposed to the "wrong" Joe Lansdale?

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Post by Rowley Wed 08 Jun 2016, 9:31 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:than two angry rats f*cking in a woollen sock

l*l
Nicked it from the write Joe Lansdale whose use of language is just a marvel. Check out his books and the series "Hap and Leonard" that's just been shown on tv. The Hap and Leonard books are some of my all-time favourites.

If they don't involve insects or either of the two world wars I am very unlikely to read them, Serial.

I'll have to rely on you to quote him periodically.  

Dave does Crime fiction, you do insects and world wars, I do boxing, Jon Ronson and Mexican drug wars. I think we have pretty much covered every book there.

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Post by JuliusHMarx Wed 08 Jun 2016, 9:41 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:than two angry rats f*cking in a woollen sock

l*l
Nicked it from the write Joe Lansdale whose use of language is just a marvel. Check out his books and the series "Hap and Leonard" that's just been shown on tv. The Hap and Leonard books are some of my all-time favourites.

If they don't involve insects or either of the two world wars I am very unlikely to read them, Serial.

I'll have to rely on you to quote him periodically.  

A novel approach

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 9:42 am

Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:than two angry rats f*cking in a woollen sock

l*l
Nicked it from the write Joe Lansdale whose use of language is just a marvel. Check out his books and the series "Hap and Leonard" that's just been shown on tv. The Hap and Leonard books are some of my all-time favourites.

If they don't involve insects or either of the two world wars I am very unlikely to read them, Serial.

I'll have to rely on you to quote him periodically.  

Dave does Crime fiction, you do insects and world wars, I do boxing, Jon Ronson and Mexican drug wars. I think we have pretty much covered every book there.

I did read that Ronson book you recommended actually. Very good read.

That is the only non war/insect book I read in about 5 years.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 9:50 am

There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's about the only reference to insects you'll find in his books

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Post by Galted Wed 08 Jun 2016, 10:08 am

DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.


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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 10:40 am

Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 10:50 am

Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.


The guy is brilliant. Maybe not everyone's cup of tea and therefore has something of a cult following but a really nice guy to boot.

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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 10:51 am

Opening page of one of his books is along the lines of....

"When I got over to Leonard's on Xmas Eve I had the Kentucky Headhunters turned way up playing "The Ballad of Davy Crockett and Leonard, in a kind of pre-Christmas tradition, was once again setting fire to the house next door."

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:13 am

Speaking of literature and the suchlike, I wonder when we will get a new Culture Cup?

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:25 am

Not very soon I fear. Judging by the amount of arselicking Dave has been doing towards Tina lately. A little bit like a man who has beaten his wife in a drunken or sugar induced rage and is being extra careful and deferential to make up for things. I reckon Tina is posting from Herts general hospital Albert Einstein first class deluxe wing and can't make a worthy contribution for a few weeks.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:27 am

Perfectly plausible scenario mate so let's go with that.

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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:27 am

rick_dagless wrote:Speaking of literature and the suchlike, I wonder when we will get a new Culture Cup?
When is the next visitation of Haley's Comet?

I see someone has poked that Shah with a stick, shame it wasn't in the f*cking windpipe!

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:28 am

DAVE667 wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Speaking of literature and the suchlike, I wonder when we will get a new Culture Cup?
When is the next visitation of Haley's Comet?

I see someone has poked that Shah with a stick, shame it wasn't in the f*cking windpipe!

2061 I believe SERIAL

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:31 am

DAVE667 wrote:shame it wasn't in the f*cking windpipe!

That's stuffed full of Jeff's c*ck.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:31 am

rick_dagless wrote:Speaking of literature and the suchlike, I wonder when we will get a new Culture Cup?

I disagree Shah. I feel it is imminent.
Of course, I've felt that for the last several years.

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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:32 am

rick_dagless wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Speaking of literature and the suchlike, I wonder when we will get a new Culture Cup?
When is the next visitation of Haley's Comet?

I see someone has poked that Shah with a stick, shame it wasn't in the f*cking windpipe!

2061 I believe SERIAL
So, new Culture Cup in 2061...if Tina gets a move on!

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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:32 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Speaking of literature and the suchlike, I wonder when we will get a new Culture Cup?

I disagree Shah. I feel it is imminent.
Of course, I've felt that for the last several years.
You've also felt that way about a visit from the Grim Reaper, though!

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Post by Rowley Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:34 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:shame it wasn't in the f*cking windpipe!

That's stuffed full of Jeff's c*ck.

I'm flattered you think it would reach.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:35 am

Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:shame it wasn't in the f*cking windpipe!

That's stuffed full of Jeff's c*ck.

I'm flattered you think it would reach.

I'm sorry to drag you into this, Jeff, but Shah does fawn over you quite a lot so I had to use you.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 08 Jun 2016, 11:37 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:shame it wasn't in the f*cking windpipe!

That's stuffed full of Jeff's c*ck.

laughing Bit of an own goal there

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Post by JuliusHMarx Wed 08 Jun 2016, 12:29 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Speaking of literature and the suchlike, I wonder when we will get a new Culture Cup?

I disagree Shah. I feel it is imminent.
Of course, I've felt that for the last several years.
You've also felt that way about a visit from the Grim Reaper, though!

That's why I'm hoping Tino gets a move on. The guy has no consideration.

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Post by Rowley Wed 08 Jun 2016, 12:50 pm

As if the EU referendum thread wasn't dull enough they have introduced a discussion about what cars they all drive. Is like giving an episode of Heartbeat a Coldplay soundtrack.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 08 Jun 2016, 12:53 pm

Rowley wrote:As if the EU referendum thread wasn't dull enough they have introduced a discussion about what cars they all drive. Is like giving an episode of Heartbeat a Coldplay soundtrack.

Just popped over to have a read, and your simile is incredibly fitting!

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Post by superflyweight Wed 08 Jun 2016, 1:02 pm

I've all but given up on that thread.

It's gone beyond the point of parody - not one of them has a f*cking clue what they're actually arguing about.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 08 Jun 2016, 1:11 pm

Way too much unfathomable dogmatism based on pre installed views that come from F**k knows where.

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Post by superflyweight Wed 08 Jun 2016, 1:19 pm

Coxy pretending to be an expert in macro-economics is a personal highlight.

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Post by rIck_dAgless Wed 08 Jun 2016, 1:57 pm

Coxy is an expert on everything and good at every sport, as well as mastering all technology, we know this to be true....

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Post by JuliusHMarx Wed 08 Jun 2016, 2:25 pm

Got any quizzes rick? Or shall we wait for CC 3.0 to launch at around 4 pm?

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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 2:36 pm

Quick quiz

1/ What the WTF is going on around here?

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Post by JuliusHMarx Wed 08 Jun 2016, 2:46 pm

DAVE667 wrote:What the WTF...

LOL out loud

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Post by Galted Wed 08 Jun 2016, 3:02 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino. Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 3:03 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Galted Wed 08 Jun 2016, 3:22 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Nope, just some of the frothy stuff. I could've got a whole bar down there though, my willy is as enormous as a pine marten.


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