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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 25 May 2016, 10:50 pm

First topic message reminder :

Dad passed away yesterday. Mowing a lawn at the time. Spent some time with him and very peaceful.

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Post by Rowley Wed 08 Jun 2016, 3:26 pm

One of them little hotel soaps or a straight out of the box, never used Imperial Leather?

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Post by Galted Wed 08 Jun 2016, 3:30 pm

Imperial Leather with the badge bit removed.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 3:35 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Nope, just some of the frothy stuff.  I could've got a whole bar down there though, my willy is as enormous as a pine marten.



I've seen pine martens in the wild which isn't as easy as it should be. We were up in Scotland. Near Loch Lomond.

We were staying in a lodge and left bread and honey out on the balcony. Sure enough, some pine martens turned up and starting eating it.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 3:53 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Nope, just some of the frothy stuff.  I could've got a whole bar down there though, my willy is as enormous as a pine marten.



I've seen pine martens in the wild which isn't as easy as it should be.  We were up in Scotland.  Near Loch Lomond.

We were staying in a lodge and left bread and honey out on the balcony.  Sure enough, some pine martens turned up and starting eating it.
So at what point did you get your c*ck out and line it up next to the pine marten to ascertain just how big/small/otherwise your c*ck actually is?

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 08 Jun 2016, 3:55 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Nope, just some of the frothy stuff.  I could've got a whole bar down there though, my willy is as enormous as a pine marten.



I've seen pine martens in the wild which isn't as easy as it should be.  We were up in Scotland.  Near Loch Lomond.

We were staying in a lodge and left bread and honey out on the balcony.  Sure enough, some pine martens turned up and starting eating it.
So at what point did you get your c*ck out and line it up next to the pine marten to ascertain just how big/small/otherwise your c*ck actually is?

It was my c*ck that was covered in honey actually.

And I had a bar of Imperial Leather stuffed up my japs eye.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Join date : 2011-05-13
Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 08 Jun 2016, 4:09 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Nope, just some of the frothy stuff.  I could've got a whole bar down there though, my willy is as enormous as a pine marten.



I've seen pine martens in the wild which isn't as easy as it should be.  We were up in Scotland.  Near Loch Lomond.

We were staying in a lodge and left bread and honey out on the balcony.  Sure enough, some pine martens turned up and starting eating it.
So at what point did you get your c*ck out and line it up next to the pine marten to ascertain just how big/small/otherwise your c*ck actually is?

It was my c*ck that was covered in honey actually.

And I had a bar of Imperial Leather stuffed up my japs eye.

Surely then it would have been impelial leathel?

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Posts : 15725
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Age : 36
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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 4:10 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Nope, just some of the frothy stuff.  I could've got a whole bar down there though, my willy is as enormous as a pine marten.



I've seen pine martens in the wild which isn't as easy as it should be.  We were up in Scotland.  Near Loch Lomond.

We were staying in a lodge and left bread and honey out on the balcony.  Sure enough, some pine martens turned up and starting eating it.
So at what point did you get your c*ck out and line it up next to the pine marten to ascertain just how big/small/otherwise your c*ck actually is?

It was my c*ck that was covered in honey actually.

And I had a bar of Imperial Leather stuffed up my japs eye.
You tak' the honey and I'll take the soap
and I'll be measuring pine martens afore ye,
for me and my true love had a dirty ornithological weekend
on the bonnie bonnie banks of Lock Lomond

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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 4:10 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Nope, just some of the frothy stuff.  I could've got a whole bar down there though, my willy is as enormous as a pine marten.



I've seen pine martens in the wild which isn't as easy as it should be.  We were up in Scotland.  Near Loch Lomond.

We were staying in a lodge and left bread and honey out on the balcony.  Sure enough, some pine martens turned up and starting eating it.
So at what point did you get your c*ck out and line it up next to the pine marten to ascertain just how big/small/otherwise your c*ck actually is?

It was my c*ck that was covered in honey actually.

And I had a bar of Imperial Leather stuffed up my japs eye.

Surely then it would have been impelial leathel?
Racist, it's Imperiar Reather

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Post by Galted Wed 08 Jun 2016, 4:17 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Nope, just some of the frothy stuff.  I could've got a whole bar down there though, my willy is as enormous as a pine marten.



I've seen pine martens in the wild which isn't as easy as it should be.  We were up in Scotland.  Near Loch Lomond.

We were staying in a lodge and left bread and honey out on the balcony.  Sure enough, some pine martens turned up and starting eating it.

That must've been very rewarding. I saw a dead badger near Cheltenham on Saturday, the Cotswolds is an amazing place to see roadkill - looks like Julius and his chums use cars now that they're not allowed to use shotguns.

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Post by ShahenshahG Wed 08 Jun 2016, 4:18 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Nope, just some of the frothy stuff.  I could've got a whole bar down there though, my willy is as enormous as a pine marten.



I've seen pine martens in the wild which isn't as easy as it should be.  We were up in Scotland.  Near Loch Lomond.

We were staying in a lodge and left bread and honey out on the balcony.  Sure enough, some pine martens turned up and starting eating it.
So at what point did you get your c*ck out and line it up next to the pine marten to ascertain just how big/small/otherwise your c*ck actually is?

It was my c*ck that was covered in honey actually.

And I had a bar of Imperial Leather stuffed up my japs eye.

Surely then it would have been impelial leathel?
Racist, it's Imperiar Reather

I stand collected

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Post by Guest Wed 08 Jun 2016, 4:22 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:There's a book by Lansdale (the writer, Rick!) called Freezer Burn about a guy whose mother died but he's kept her in the back bedroom to keep cashing her welfare checks (I hate that spelling). He then has to go on the run and is so badly bitten by mosquitos that he ends up facially disfigured and hides out in a travelling freak show.

That's what I call a storyline.



So does everybody else.

I think it is because it is a storyline?


That's a bit callous Tino.  Hurts as much as the time I got soap in my willy.

The whole bar?

Nope, just some of the frothy stuff.  I could've got a whole bar down there though, my willy is as enormous as a pine marten.



I've seen pine martens in the wild which isn't as easy as it should be.  We were up in Scotland.  Near Loch Lomond.

We were staying in a lodge and left bread and honey out on the balcony.  Sure enough, some pine martens turned up and starting eating it.
So at what point did you get your c*ck out and line it up next to the pine marten to ascertain just how big/small/otherwise your c*ck actually is?

It was my c*ck that was covered in honey actually.

And I had a bar of Imperial Leather stuffed up my japs eye.

Surely then it would have been impelial leathel?
Racist, it's Imperiar Reather

I stand collected
And so you should...by Immigration.

Anyway racists, I'm off home to cover my c*ck in honey (a very small amount required) in order to attract pine martens (if my wife asks what I'm up to)

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Post by Galted Wed 08 Jun 2016, 4:27 pm

Be careful, Dave.
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Post by JuliusHMarx Wed 08 Jun 2016, 4:40 pm

Cockbumble

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Post by Rowley Wed 08 Jun 2016, 5:22 pm

Busy day by current CC standards, be screwed when Tina and Jules go to Bilderberg soon.

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Post by seanmichaels Wed 08 Jun 2016, 5:42 pm

Didn't know you could bildeberg. Thought they snapped off glaciers....

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Post by JuliusHMarx Wed 08 Jun 2016, 6:48 pm

Very good sean!

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Post by ShahenshahG Thu 09 Jun 2016, 6:56 am

FIST NOTCHES, miserable grey morning

Morning Dildebergers

How the devil are you?

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Post by seanmichaels Thu 09 Jun 2016, 7:23 am

Eerie mist in the field of sheep outside my flat. Lambs not quote as vocal this morning.

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Post by ShahenshahG Thu 09 Jun 2016, 7:29 am

seanmichaels wrote:Eerie mist in the field of sheep outside my flat. Lambs not quote as vocal this morning.

It's probably instrumental to their good health. Misty here too but surrounded by landscaped grounds so no beauty in it, just a bit depressing.

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Post by Rowley Thu 09 Jun 2016, 7:32 am

https://youtu.be/jrVbawRPO7I

Morning notches.

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Post by ShahenshahG Thu 09 Jun 2016, 7:42 am

Morning Jeff, found a track you would love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg09UcgPu0Q

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Post by Rowley Thu 09 Jun 2016, 7:55 am

Cheers shah. I like Carole King, tapestry is a brilliant album.

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Post by ShahenshahG Thu 09 Jun 2016, 8:01 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsIbfYEizLk

I do too sometimes. On quieter days.


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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 09 Jun 2016, 8:08 am

Good morning.

Aphids are born pregnant without the benefit of sex. Aphids can give birth 10 days after being born themselves.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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Post by Rowley Thu 09 Jun 2016, 12:21 pm

One for the Michaelsing Hall of Fame.

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Post by superflyweight Thu 09 Jun 2016, 12:26 pm

It does beg the question as to whether or not insect facts should be allowed on here.

Things were much better when we were talking about Dundee.

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Post by Guest Thu 09 Jun 2016, 12:51 pm

superflyweight wrote:It does beg the question as to whether or not insect facts should be allowed on here.  

Things were ever so slightly better when we were talking about Dundee.  
Afternoon homogobblers,

Bloody glorious day in Bradders. Been sat in the garden with my book soaking up the rays when it dawned on me that I wasn't unemployed, couldn't grab a beer and had to get some f*cking work done. Basically my day is now f*cked!

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 09 Jun 2016, 12:53 pm

superflyweight wrote:It does beg the question as to whether or not insect facts should be allowed on here.  

Things were much better when we were talking about Dundee.  

It was a bloody interesting fact as well.

Don't forget who started this place, Superfly. You don't get to decide what stays and what doesn't.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Posts : 19778
Join date : 2011-05-13
Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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Post by Guest Thu 09 Jun 2016, 12:58 pm

Obviously I'm biased but I also enjoyed that fact, Tina. I told my daughter about the Preying Mantis being the only insect that can look over it's shoulder, she told my wife and my wife now thinks my daughter is a genius.

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Post by superflyweight Thu 09 Jun 2016, 1:00 pm

It's a democracy Tina. This isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia.

I would put it to a vote but there's no quorum.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 09 Jun 2016, 1:04 pm

superflyweight wrote:It's a democracy Tina.  This isn't Russia.  Is this Russia?  This isn't Russia.    

I would put it to a vote but there's no quorum.  

We can have a referendum based decision on bug facts on the 23rd June.

If Remain win, the facts stay in. If Leave win, they go.

I'm not a dictator, I am a man of the people.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Galted Thu 09 Jun 2016, 1:05 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:It does beg the question as to whether or not insect facts should be allowed on here.  

Things were much better when we were talking about Dundee.  

It was a bloody interesting fact as well.

Don't forget who started this place, Superfly.  You don't get to decide what stays and what doesn't.

As facts go, it was a f*cking good one.
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Post by Guest Thu 09 Jun 2016, 1:07 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:It does beg the question as to whether or not insect facts should be allowed on here.  

Things were much better when we were talking about Dundee.  

It was a bloody interesting fact as well.

Don't forget who started this place, Superfly.  You don't get to decide what stays and what doesn't.

As facts go, it was a f*cking good one.
See? Me and Galted can agree on something. If only they could make a film called "The Bug Lebowski" we'd all be happy.

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Post by Galted Thu 09 Jun 2016, 1:23 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:It does beg the question as to whether or not insect facts should be allowed on here.  

Things were much better when we were talking about Dundee.  

It was a bloody interesting fact as well.

Don't forget who started this place, Superfly.  You don't get to decide what stays and what doesn't.

As facts go, it was a f*cking good one.
See? Me and Galted can agree on something. If only they could make a film called "The Bug Lebowski" we'd all be happy.

That web really held the apiary together.
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Post by Guest Thu 09 Jun 2016, 1:28 pm

Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:It does beg the question as to whether or not insect facts should be allowed on here.  

Things were much better when we were talking about Dundee.  

It was a bloody interesting fact as well.

Don't forget who started this place, Superfly.  You don't get to decide what stays and what doesn't.

As facts go, it was a f*cking good one.
See? Me and Galted can agree on something. If only they could make a film called "The Bug Lebowski" we'd all be happy.

That web really held the apiary together.
You're out of your exoskeleton

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Post by Galted Thu 09 Jun 2016, 1:43 pm

I'll suck your mandible for a thousand dollars.
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Post by Guest Thu 09 Jun 2016, 2:02 pm

Galted wrote:I'll suck your mandible for a thousand dollars.
Thought you got tramps to do it for free?

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Post by ShahenshahG Thu 09 Jun 2016, 2:08 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:I'll suck your mandible for a thousand dollars.
Thought you got tramps to do it for free?

They get to drink beer out of his left hi tec so many of the tramps decline.

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Post by superflyweight Thu 09 Jun 2016, 2:48 pm

Someone just accused me of making a cretinous statement on the EU Referendum thread.

At least start with Coxy.

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Post by ShahenshahG Thu 09 Jun 2016, 6:13 pm

http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/jun/09/seagull-turns-orange-after-falling-into-vat-of-chicken-tikka-masala

If this isn't CC fare then nothing is.

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Post by Guest Thu 09 Jun 2016, 6:25 pm

Chances are the seagull was the closet that tikka masala has ever coming to having actually chicken in it.

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Post by Galted Thu 09 Jun 2016, 6:32 pm

DAVE667 wrote:Chances are the seagull was the closet that tikka masala has ever coming to having actually chicken in it.

There is no such thing as a tikka masala.
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Post by Guest Thu 09 Jun 2016, 7:22 pm

Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Chances are the seagull was the closet that tikka masala has ever coming to having actually chicken in it.

There is no such thing as a tikka masala.
F*ck off to f*ckery, Galted, you f*cking f*cked faced f*cker

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Post by Galted Thu 09 Jun 2016, 7:33 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Chances are the seagull was the closet that tikka masala has ever coming to having actually chicken in it.

There is no such thing as a tikka masala.
F*ck off to f*ckery, Galted, you f*cking f*cked faced f*cker

"F*cked faced f*cker?"

I think you mean "f*ck-faced f*cker".
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Post by Guest Thu 09 Jun 2016, 7:40 pm

Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Chances are the seagull was the closet that tikka masala has ever coming to having actually chicken in it.

There is no such thing as a tikka masala.
F*ck off to f*ckery, Galted, you f*cking f*cked faced f*cker

"F*cked faced f*cker?"

I think you mean "f*ck-faced f*cker".
No, your face has been f*cked by tramps...ergo....

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Post by Galted Thu 09 Jun 2016, 9:26 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Chances are the seagull was the closet that tikka masala has ever coming to having actually chicken in it.

There is no such thing as a tikka masala.
F*ck off to f*ckery, Galted, you f*cking f*cked faced f*cker

"F*cked faced f*cker?"

I think you mean "f*ck-faced f*cker".
No, your face has been f*cked by tramps...ergo....

That would make me a "face-f*cked f*ckee".
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Post by Rowley Fri 10 Jun 2016, 7:00 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vvj-nyADX1Y

Morning all. Up and at em.

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri 10 Jun 2016, 7:07 am

Miserable f*cker.

Morning one and all. I have discovered a genius plan to win a game that doesn't really matter and I am very pleased about it.

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Post by Rowley Fri 10 Jun 2016, 7:30 am

Why am I miserable. I have greeted everyone in a polite and chipper manner. Don't take your Ramadan based bad mood out on me. I make one phone call you'll be in Guantanamo Bay you bell end.

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Post by ShahenshahG Fri 10 Jun 2016, 7:43 am

Rowley wrote:Why am I miserable. I have greeted everyone in a polite and chipper manner. Don't take your Ramadan based bad mood out on me. I make one phone call you'll be in Guantanamo Bay you bell end.

An inability to utilise punctuation correctly is the malady of the moment, otherwise you are, in no particular order; overweight, bald, decrepit, cheap and your wife is getting some from Galted's tramp. As for the latter part of the statement, that same phone call will tell them who has been my accomplice in recruiting and you'll end up in the bay of pigs because no other place is big enough to waterboard you.

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