The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

I hope Jules is quick enough to get the thread split with one of his puns. Would hate it to be something tedious.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I watched 10-15 minutes of water polo at the last Olympics. Easily enough to take me to commentator-level expertise. Ask me anything.

If you had to sleep with either Theresa May or Nicola Sturgeon, who would you slip it to?

Can I only choose one?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I watched 10-15 minutes of water polo at the last Olympics. Easily enough to take me to commentator-level expertise. Ask me anything.

If you had to sleep with either Theresa May or Nicola Sturgeon, who would you slip it to?

Can I only choose one?

Yes. Don't be greedy, Jules.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I watched 10-15 minutes of water polo at the last Olympics. Easily enough to take me to commentator-level expertise. Ask me anything.

If you had to sleep with either Theresa May or Nicola Sturgeon, who would you slip it to?

Can I only choose one?

Yes.  Don't be greedy, Jules.

Don't be mean Tina...Jules, if you could have both at the same time, would you spend more time with one to make the other jealous and provoke her into being more dirty?

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I watched 10-15 minutes of water polo at the last Olympics. Easily enough to take me to commentator-level expertise. Ask me anything.

If you had to sleep with either Theresa May or Nicola Sturgeon, who would you slip it to?

Can I only choose one?

Yes.  Don't be greedy, Jules.

Don't be mean Tina...Jules, if you could have both at the same time, would you spend more time with one to make the other jealous and provoke her into being more dirty?

No need - there's plenty of me to go around. I'm sure it would be a mutually pleasing coalition.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I watched 10-15 minutes of water polo at the last Olympics. Easily enough to take me to commentator-level expertise. Ask me anything.

If you had to sleep with either Theresa May or Nicola Sturgeon, who would you slip it to?

Can I only choose one?

Yes.  Don't be greedy, Jules.

Don't be mean Tina...Jules, if you could have both at the same time, would you spend more time with one to make the other jealous and provoke her into being more dirty?

No need - there's plenty of me to go around. I'm sure it would be a mutually pleasing coalition.

You're far too gentlemanly, in my limited experience of threesomes, I found that trying to get the girls to outdo one another eventually leads to a lot of unpleasantness and occasionally tears (usually mine)

Does the trampoline come with the house, jeff? Would love to see TSMR bounce up and down on that.

I reckon May would be a lot of fun in the bedroom. I'm afraid it would be a non-starter with Sturgeon as she reminds me too much of Wee Jimmy Krankie.

The trampoline is for Jeff's "j*zz-ercize"

I've got a question for you all.

Mrs Windows does zumba.  Then, an hour later, she does Clubbersize (me neither) which involves wearing luminous wristbands, glowsticks and dancing around (presumably to the same music as has just been played in the zumba session - and it's with the same instructor) in the dark.  Quite literally in the dark.  She pays £5 for the zumba hour and then another £5 for Clubbersize.  

So to my mind, she is paying £5 to the zumba teacher to turn the lights off for an hour.  It's madness.  She is being mugged off like a two bob.  I tried to explain this to her but she told me to f*ck off.

Jules/Galted, I assume you two probably do some sort of music based exercise? What am I missing here?

She could, of course, just be sleeping with the instructor but I hope she isn't paying £5 for that.

The clue is in the name, Tino (which you incorrectly spell '..size', implying something to do with volume, rather than exercise). Clubbercise aims to bring the fun of nightclubbing to daytime exercise sessions. It's 'the workout that feels more like a night out'.

It is not usually done literally in the dark though, so it does rather seem as though Mrs Windows and her teacher have gone one step further than the nightclub and on to the copulation stage.

JuliusHMarx wrote:The clue is in the name, Tino (which you incorrectly spell '..size', implying something to do with volume, rather than exercise). Clubbercise aims to bring the fun of nightclubbing to daytime exercise sessions. It's 'the workout that feels more like a night out'.

It is not usually done literally in the dark though, so it does rather seem as though Mrs Windows and her teacher have gone one step further than the nightclub and on to the copulation stage.

Thanks for clearing it up, Jules. I knew I could rely on you for some answers.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:The clue is in the name, Tino (which you incorrectly spell '..size', implying something to do with volume, rather than exercise). Clubbercise aims to bring the fun of nightclubbing to daytime exercise sessions. It's 'the workout that feels more like a night out'.

It is not usually done literally in the dark though, so it does rather seem as though Mrs Windows and her teacher have gone one step further than the nightclub and on to the copulation stage.

Thanks for clearing it up, Jules.  I knew I could rely on you for some answers.

Always glad to be of service to you, and to service Mrs Windows.

P.S. Has she ever tried Cardio Tennis?

Someone somewhere is laughing their c*ck off at the scam they're pulling with Mrs Windows and the rest. Mrs667 goes to a trampoline class up the road from us. I've told her she'd be better off walking up there, then turning round and walking back again. Like Mrs Windows, she told me to f*ck off but also added that I should mind my own business.

Would also like ask, what IS the fun of clubbing? Sh!te music, expensive drinks, silly c*nts fighting over desperately unattractive women and doorstaff eager to punch absolutely anyone for any reason? Doesn't sound like my idea of fun.

JuliusHMarx wrote:P.S. Has she ever tried Cardio Tennis?

I don't believe she has. But if you're teaching any lessons then I'm sure she'll sign up right away.

Is cardio tennis like action netball?

DAVE667 wrote:Is cardio tennis like action netball?

Surely for someone as old as Jules, just lacing up his tennis shoes is enough cardio?

Galtova does yoga once a week. Her work pays for it so that's ok by me. I, too, have been given a f*ck off tablet when questioning the point of it. The only conclusion I can draw is that women are far less intelligent than we are.

Galted wrote:Galtova does yoga once a week. Her work pays for it so that's ok by me. I, too, have been given a f*ck off tablet when questioning the point of it.  The only conclusion I can draw is that women are far less intelligent than we are.

Clearly, as anyone who believes that having longer, thicker eyelashes makes then more attractive is an idiot. If men found long eyelashes attractive we'd all be married to camels (I know Shah has a dozen or more but he's a sexual deviant)

48 hour lipsticks/mascara etc...which dirty b!tch isn't washing her face for two f*cking days?

DAVE667 wrote:Is cardio tennis like action netball?

Yes, in that it's only for women, and for men who are in Weightwatchers

JuliusHMarx wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Is cardio tennis like action netball?

Yes, in that it's only for women, and for men who are in Weightwatchers

Great, where do I sign?

Does anyone know where I can find out how many days it is since the EU referendum and whether we have sent the notification yet?

Not a clue Jules, it would be nice if it was given in the style of "Waiting for Godot" too.

I see that Duty is showing signs of cracking now.

Punches in bunches super, effective.

rick_dagless wrote:Not a clue Jules, it would be nice if it was given in the style of "Waiting for Godot" too.

Would also be great if we could find out how long it is until some under appreciated Japanese post-rock combo are playing at a Northern Social club.

DAVE667 wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Not a clue Jules, it would be nice if it was given in the style of "Waiting for Godot" too.

Would also be great if we could find out how long it is until some under appreciated Japanese post-rock combo are playing at a Northern Social club.

I would be nice if someone would provide that public service, whilst being relevant to a thread.

rick_dagless wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Not a clue Jules, it would be nice if it was given in the style of "Waiting for Godot" too.

Would also be great if we could find out how long it is until some under appreciated Japanese post-rock combo are playing at a Northern Social club.

I would be nice if someone would provide that public service, whilst being relevant to a thread.

...and also managing to maintain their output for a period prolonged enough to cause some people to get a bit snippy

We can but dream, mate...

Heroes like that don't exist any more folks.

superflyweight wrote:Heroes like that don't exist any more folks.  

Whatever happened to all the heroes?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Heroes like that don't exist any more folks.  

Whatever happened to all the heroes?

All those Shakespearoes?

Morning Notcherinos


All good in le hoods?

All good, I was a high bar expert last night, following a successful stint at the kayak...

Think it is back to the gymnasium today (which incidentally effectively means a place to be naked) to hope I am not having yew tree thoughts over some of the gymnasts, and hoping for another medal haul...

You?

https://youtu.be/gKbohpjcKoE

Morning all. I hate football.

I can understand why Jeff...

Morning

rick_dagless wrote:All good, I was a high bar expert last night, following a successful stint at the kayak...

Think it is back to the gymnasium today (which incidentally effectively means a place to be naked) to hope I am not having yew tree thoughts over some of the gymnasts, and hoping for another medal haul...

You?

Hosting a day in industry type thing today. All quiet because of holidays otherwise. Didn't get to become instant expert on any sport was too busy fantasising about that lovely chav.

Good morning.

Morning Tino

Morning Tino, Rick & ShahG

How are the summer fruits hanging this morning?

Sun just going down here down under. Pleasantly warm winter's day today. The footy is on in a couple of hours. Working only a block or 2 from Pirtek (Eels home ground) but the Dogs-Sea Eagles game is on at Homebush. I might wind things back and catch up with some news. Like watching the rowing which should be on soon... some cool shots of poverty and riches intermingled and not much traffic on the roads in Rio it seems.

Morning TLD, glad you jumped in as this would be twice that my greeting to Tino has gone unanswered and michaelsed the thread...

You enjoying the Olympics? Which sport are you now a qualified expert in?

Morning Tino and Rowley,was amused by your story Tino. Woman is mad as a bat. On friday night, tell her to get ready and that you've got a surprise for her. Then when she comes into the living room all tarted up, switch on the radio then stand by the light switch and switch on and off intermittently with a wine glass in your hand.

rick_dagless wrote:Morning TLD, glad you jumped in as this would be twice that my greeting to Tino has gone unanswered and michaelsed the thread...

You enjoying the Olympics?  Which sport are you now a qualified expert in?

I'm hardly qualified for expert analysis, rick.
Have an interest in swimming, athletics, cycling, boxing, hockey, Jiu Jitsu, weightlifting and sailing though.
Can't be arsed with the rugby, tennis, football or golf... I just stick to the traditional Olympic events mostly.
I like the equestrian, shooting and archery too.

What about you?

I am now an armchair expert in a myriad of sports TLD, including, but not limited to, Fencing, Kayaking, Gymnastics, Diving, and Trap Shooting, and have solid FACTUAL opinions on all of them.

BMX or Skateboarding?

Now those are 2 skillful sports.
If they're not already included in the modern day Olympics then there's something wrong, yeah?

They are indeed, but they have the X-Games, and could be in the modern Penchavalon

rick_dagless wrote:They are indeed, but they have the X-Games, and could be in the modern Penchavalon

What in the name of f*ck is that?

Paralympics

Invictus Games

Hunger Games

They should have a parkour event across the tops of the barras... favelas.. or whatever.
First to get down from the base of the mountain to the bus stop shelter on the beach wins.
Extra points if you hurdle some old, white bearded, angry looking bloke's fruit stand along the way.