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Post by Pal Joey on Wed 05 Aug 2020, 10:41 am

<lol>

or for Rick... Laugh
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Post by rIck_dAgless on Wed 05 Aug 2020, 1:31 pm

So Peej got the split with that...

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Post by JuliusHMarx on Wed 05 Aug 2020, 1:37 pm

We can console ourselves with the thought that it's been the quickest thread split since Tino died the fist time

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Post by Galted on Thu 06 Aug 2020, 7:48 am

Haha, knew I had a fist in me this week.
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Post by rIck_dAgless on Thu 06 Aug 2020, 8:49 am

Excellent fist, <elbow>

A decent pun for the last post.

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Post by Galted on Thu 06 Aug 2020, 8:53 am

And we have the first official <elbow> out the way, sublime posting, Rick. I fear that the rest of the day will never live up to this start, unless Julius comes up with a new pun or motion picture, or Guildford introduces a new greeting.
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Post by JuliusHMarx on Thu 06 Aug 2020, 9:18 am

Fu<calf>

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Post by Pal Joey on Thu 06 Aug 2020, 9:20 am

Apologies for that extremely poor thread split. I wasn't paying attention to the numbers.

Jules, if you like... you can put one of Guildford's posts up there instead. I feel he deserves it.

I've only got 10 more posts until I reach SOSOS... so I could easily disappear up a black hole anytime soon.
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Post by guildfordbat on Thu 06 Aug 2020, 9:26 am

You guys are so kind with your Care in the 606v2 Community.

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Post by Pal Joey on Thu 06 Aug 2020, 9:39 am

guildfordbat wrote:You guys are so kind with your Care in the 606v2 Community.

Just so you know, Guildford... whoever posts the 991st post gets it posted up the top in the next OP for the thread split.
So if you want to post any links to Surrey CCC... or Kia Oval. That's the place.
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Post by Galted on Thu 06 Aug 2020, 9:43 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:Fu<calf>

L*l out loud, you <c*nt>.
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Post by rIck_dAgless on Thu 06 Aug 2020, 10:05 am

Guildford is now part of the official CC history, so he should get it.

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Post by JuliusHMarx on Thu 06 Aug 2020, 10:14 am

I couldn't possibly affect a thread split. It sets a dangerous precedent. Who knows where it could end up?

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Post by Galted on Fri 07 Aug 2020, 8:04 am

oh <boll*cks>, <fist> again when I'm dying to try out an <elbow>
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Post by JuliusHMarx on Fri 07 Aug 2020, 9:21 am

<Eye>'m <toe>ing the line with a sicond. It's part of my ch<arm>

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Post by Galted on Fri 07 Aug 2020, 10:24 am

It's hard to <stomach> such a f<ear>ful amount of wordplay in one post.
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Post by JuliusHMarx on Fri 07 Aug 2020, 10:42 am

Does the amount really make a <vas deferens>?

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Post by Galted on Fri 07 Aug 2020, 11:05 am

Very good, I <can>'t match such quality, quan<tit> maybe, but not quality.
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Post by guildfordbat on Fri 07 Aug 2020, 5:31 pm

Hoping none of you guys were Wayne Fontana. Sounds a real character (Joey - guess you know from your time here, that's a bit of a nutter who causes a smile).

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Post by Galted on Mon 10 Aug 2020, 7:48 am

Galted sees the opportunity for a hot, sweaty fist, and he says 'I'll have a bit of that'.
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Post by JuliusHMarx on Mon 10 Aug 2020, 8:36 am

All the way up to the <elbow>.
Sicond

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Post by Galted on Mon 10 Aug 2020, 9:35 am

<elbow> and sicond, I had no idea such a thing could be done.

I'm speechless.
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Post by superflyweight on Mon 10 Aug 2020, 10:24 am

A confused tird.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Mon 10 Aug 2020, 2:34 pm

superflyweight wrote:A confused tird.  

I am confused as well.

I also don't understand what is going on with this thread.

PJ - saw a very good documentary last night about an Aussie rules footy player called Adam Goode. Very moving stuff, even for a double hard b*stard like me.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Galted on Mon 10 Aug 2020, 4:12 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:A confused tird.  

I am confused as well.

I also don't understand what is going on with this thread.

PJ - saw a very good documentary last night about an Aussie rules footy player called Adam Goode. Very moving stuff, even for a double hard b*stard like me.

Guildford's taken over your thread. Did it bit by bit until he had a foothold and now that he's established himself he's dictating what gets said and what doesn't. Rick and PJ tried to resist but haven't seen either of them for a while.
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Post by JuliusHMarx on Mon 10 Aug 2020, 5:08 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:A confused tird.  

I am confused as well.

I also don't understand what is going on with this thread.

PJ - saw a very good documentary last night about an Aussie rules footy player called Adam Goode. Very moving stuff, even for a double hard b*stard like me.

Guildford's taken over your thread.  Did it bit by bit until he had a foothold and now that he's established himself he's dictating what gets said and what doesn't.  Rick and PJ tried to resist but haven't seen either of them for a while.

It's what happens when you die can't be @rsed to post on here for years.

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Post by rIck_dAgless on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 7:35 am

<fist>

Morning, all.

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Post by Galted on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 7:53 am

<elbow>

Morning Rick, has Guildford reeducated you sufficiently to allow you back onto his thread?
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Post by Galted on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 9:38 am

Uh-oh, maybe it was a cry for help from Rick.
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Post by superflyweight on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 9:59 am

A good old fashioned tird for me.

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Post by rIck_dAgless on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 10:51 am

I am allowed 2 posts a day by guildford, i will use my second to re-iterate that Jack Whitehall is still a c**t.

Morning, supes.

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Post by superflyweight on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 10:58 am

A second post well used, Rick.

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Post by Galted on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 11:08 am

Excellent post, Rick. Deserved to be a thread splitter.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 12:58 pm

Hi.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Galted on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 2:23 pm

You forgot to add 'non-gay'.

Unless the builder's got to you.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 2:30 pm

Galted wrote:You forgot to add 'non-gay'.

Unless the builder's got to you.

"Yay" and "hey" definitely need to be classified as non-gay but I'm not sure "hi" does?

But who knows. A lot of things have changed round here recently.

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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 3:05 pm

SOSOS  Yahoo

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Hi.

Hi.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:PJ - saw a very good documentary last night about an Aussie rules footy player called Adam Goode. Very moving stuff, even for a double hard b*stard like me.

Yes, Adam Goodes. Superstar athlete and cult hero here who was treated very poorly by some horrible opposition fans. He decided to make a stand and say something about it. Unfortunately this probably cut his career short by a few years... would have loved to have seen him play on a bit longer.

Was that "The Australian Dream" documentary?

If so, Stan Grant (TV journalist and former CNN presenter) lives just around the corner from me. His wife, Tracey Holmes, is also a very well-known journalist (who specialises in sport but is quite versatile in all areas I believe) and I often chat with her out the front. She told me that Stan "loves my house" which came as a nice surprise to me. One particular sunny morning she walked by as I was at the letterbox... with fluorescent pink hair.

She's sort of attractive and quite fit looking in a tight t-shirt. I joked about her hair saying "it looks good on live radio!" She also does Q&A Extra - which is simulcast live on ABC Radio and TV. Took her about 3 seconds to get it... she laughed and said "Well at least someone likes it!"

I've seen Stan a few times down at the local cafe and said "hi" but he always seems to be preoccupied with more important things. He is probably the leading advocate on 'The Stolen Generation' in this country. He does countless interviews and TV appearances and is obviously very emotional about the subject. Have a feeling he doesn't like white people though - but puts on a brave face when I bump into him and give him a compliment.

I should probably confess that I most likely contributed to the death of their dog - a lovely, but old and rather overweight Golden Labrador which they owned as a puppy in Hong Kong and brought back here. It was around 15 years old I think she said... it had white eyebrows, facial hair, etc.

During my longer-than-expected renovations (about 3 years ago) I had all sorts of poisonous chemicals and materials getting washed through the site and down onto the footpath and street. As I was chatting with Tracey about Geopolitics, Dick Pound and the IOC and local politics, the old Lab couldn't resist a few quick slurps from a puddle next to my gas meter. Pretty sure I saw an oil slick there as I watched in horror.

Tracey said "don't worry... he's always drinking from puddles... used to do the same thing in Hong Kong all the time... and he's still survived, hasn't he?" I don't think I even replied... but I sort of acknowledged this fact in uneasy agreement with a very faint nod... and possible question mark.

Anyway... I never saw the old golden fella again. I shudder to think it probably spent its last days vomiting its insides out and exploding liquid diarrhoea all over Tracey and Stan's highly polished marble floors.
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Post by Mind the windows Tino. on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 3:29 pm

It was The Australian Dream. It was excellent.

There is a lot to take in from your post, PJ. I am coming to terms with you killing their dog firstly. Secondly, I've only just realised what a funny name Dick Pound is.

Lastly, I never had you down as having pink fluorescent hair (non-gay?).

Congratulations on the 50505.

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Post by Galted on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 3:41 pm

'Hi' followed by, for example, 'PJ' or 'Galted' is acceptable but a 'hi' on its own is a bit too much like a 'hiya'.

We'll have to see what Guildford decrees though.
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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 3:50 pm

Yeah... Dick Pound... what a name! Laugh She really ripped into him during an interview.
She's a ruthless assassin when it comes to exposing corruption and general dick [pound] head behaviour.

Not me... her ! :
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I feel really bad about the dog... it looked almost invincible. It was like watching your buddy step on a land mine... too late. A slow motion explosion.

I saw her drive by a few weeks ago in a sporty little car. I just waved and she waved back.

Obviously no slobbering Lab hanging its friendly head out of the passenger window.
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Post by Galted on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 4:21 pm

Pal Joey wrote:Yeah... Dick Pound... what a name! Laugh She really ripped into him during an interview.
She's a ruthless assassin when it comes to exposing corruption and general dick [pound] head behaviour.

Not me... her ! :
Music Section Morning Tea Society 76863310

I feel really bad about the dog... it looked almost invincible. It was like watching your buddy step on a land mine... too late. A slow motion explosion.

I saw her drive by a few weeks ago in a sporty little car. I just waved and she waved back.

Obviously no slobbering Lab hanging its friendly head out of the passenger window.

Reminds me of the time I was hiding in Rachel Weisz's wardrobe when Daniel Craig got home early.  Her sh1ttzu started sniffing and yipping at the door so I hauled the f*cker in and throttled it.  When she found out she said how cool I was under pressure, said 'you'd make a better Bond than that knob I'm married to'.  Told her 'I know'.
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Post by superflyweight on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 4:28 pm

Galted wrote:
Pal Joey wrote:Yeah... Dick Pound... what a name! Laugh She really ripped into him during an interview.
She's a ruthless assassin when it comes to exposing corruption and general dick [pound] head behaviour.

Not me... her ! :
Music Section Morning Tea Society 76863310

I feel really bad about the dog... it looked almost invincible. It was like watching your buddy step on a land mine... too late. A slow motion explosion.

I saw her drive by a few weeks ago in a sporty little car. I just waved and she waved back.

Obviously no slobbering Lab hanging its friendly head out of the passenger window.

Reminds me of the time I was hiding in Rachel Weisz's wardrobe when Daniel Craig got home early.  Her sh1ttzu started sniffing and yipping at the door so I hauled the f*cker in and throttled it.  When she found out she said how cool I was under pressure, said 'you'd make a better Bond than that knob I'm married to'.  Told her 'I know'.

Don't think the world is ready for a Bond that wears Hi-Tec sandals and works in IT.

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Post by JuliusHMarx on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 4:40 pm

Or who hides in wardrobes 'cos he's afraid of a luvvy actor.

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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 5:17 pm

Just thinking... I also used to drench the narrow strip between the footpath and the base of the retaining wall with Super Fast Acting Zero Weed Killer... but at one end near the gas line (the actual gas meter is actually attached to the wall of the house) there was a depression which frequently filled with water during the rainy season. This is right next to where Tracey's dog stood.

Jules, you'll remember... I was quite stressed out at the time. Boiling hot summer days... all sorts of uncontrolled weeds growing at a rapid rate.
I personally hate using chemicals but I was so anxious and desperate to try and get that strip ready to plant something nice there - that I may have gone a little overboard with the Zero. Neighbours will back me up on this I'm sure. It's just a pity that the dice didn't land well for the dog when he decided to take a drink there. I should have asked Tracey to cross the road and have a chat over on the other side perhaps?
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Post by JuliusHMarx on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 5:21 pm

Pal Joey wrote:Jules, you'll remember...

Unlikely, as I can't remember whether I've had lunch or not.

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Post by Pal Joey on Tue 11 Aug 2020, 5:24 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Pal Joey wrote:Jules, you'll remember...

Unlikely, as I can't remember whether I've had lunch or not.

I'm hoping your long term memory is functioning well. 24 Black wasn't it? Or was it 28?
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Post by rIck_dAgless on Wed 12 Aug 2020, 7:53 am

'sup, fist.

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Post by Galted on Wed 12 Aug 2020, 8:45 am

<fists, elbows, knees> and <toes>
<knees> and <toes>
<fists, elbows, knees> and <toes>
<knees> and <toes>
and <eyes> and <ears> and <mouth> and <nose>
<fists, elbows, knees> and <toes>
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Post by guildfordbat on Wed 12 Aug 2020, 10:28 am

Galted wrote:'Hi' followed by, for example, 'PJ' or 'Galted' is acceptable but a 'hi' on its own is a bit too much like a 'hiya'.

We'll have to see what Guildford decrees though.

Galted - thank you for your most respectful post. Having considered the matter at length, I would normally steer away from 'Hi' on its own. Even a 'Hi, PJ' would depend on the circumstances.

I would actually prefer a more formal- and if I may still say so, British - 'Good morning, PJ' as if we were about to go into battle or tossing the coin in an Ashes Test.

In case I should be caught out though, I would emphasise my comments are guidance and not rules. The only rule is that upon winning the toss in an Ashes Test you have two choices. Either bat or think about it and bat.

With that, I have to take my leave of you good people until next week. Leaving my armchair and Bat Towers as I head to the English Riviera with Mrs Bat for a few days.

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Post by Galted on Wed 12 Aug 2020, 10:40 am

guildfordbat wrote:
Galted wrote:'Hi' followed by, for example, 'PJ' or 'Galted' is acceptable but a 'hi' on its own is a bit too much like a 'hiya'.

We'll have to see what Guildford decrees though.

Galted - thank you for your most respectful post. Having considered the matter at length, I would normally steer away from 'Hi' on its own. Even a 'Hi, PJ' would depend on the circumstances.

I would actually prefer a more formal- and if I may still say so, British - 'Good morning, PJ' as if we were about to go into battle or tossing the coin in an Ashes Test.

In case I should be caught out though, I would emphasise my comments are guidance and not rules. The only rule is that upon winning the toss in an Ashes Test you have two choices. Either bat or think about it and bat.

With that, I have to take my leave of you good people until next week. Leaving my armchair and Bat Towers as I head to the English Riviera with Mrs Bat for a few days.

Thanks for clearing up the matter.  I'm sure we'll all be very supportive of Tino now that we know he's not only dead, but gay.

Hope you and Mrs Bat have a thoroughly splendid time, and that the corner knots in your handkerchief don't come undone and subject the top of your head to a roasting.
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